30s TTC - Butterdish Smashing World Record Attempt

[PollyPoo]

Line up, line up for the world record attempt for most dropped butterdishes per fred.

The bar is here, along with squishy sofas, some fluffy beanbags, low lighting, and most important of all, free booze.

I have installed some naked waiters (Morgan from being human, together with Russell Howard) - they have trays of champagne cocktails that can never run out, so dig in laydeez and lets make this a fred to remember.

Ok I am once more dragging myself from my semi-comatose position in the corner...

scropule well done. Big brave girl

seriously am glad it was okay lovely.

beshie am thinking of you lots. The fact you had hb and stuff,and it's just spotting,must be v good.... So you had a bleed last week? But then nothing? And is this just spotting,so v v light?

Any pain at all or any heavier bleeding get yerself in there. Epu doc sounds like a fucking witch,but if you are reporting anything more serious they will see you. Especially if you just turn up.

Keep us posted,I'll be fretting myself stupid about you now.

welcome to the CabbageLady and fingers and legs crossed for Bessie

oh, and if I don't get pregnant this cycle (two days and counting to testing, droid-watchers) then a job in Australia has appeared on our internal vacancies board and I am very tempted.

Oooh, that sounds exciting Medee. Obviously hope it's a non-question cos of diffedness, but it sounds exciting nonetheless.

Fingers crossed that everything's OK Bessie.

We're off up north to go skiing tomorrow for TH's birthday - I was foolish enough to say we could do whatever he wanted and I suspect this is going to lead to a day of being cold and wet. The place we're staying tonight's supposed to do a good breakfast though, so it won't all be bad.

Awww, am crying at seeing the woman have a water birth on 'One Born Every Minute'. It seemed so serene and tender (can anyone guess I want to have a WB?). And when will Thingy get to holder baby (the one born with his bowels outside his body)? Sob!

hold her, even

I'll no doubt have a wee sob over that tomorrow night.

Have just popped back to see who watched One Every Minute last night. Did anyone fancy lamping the dad with self importance issues? Or the happy clappy midwife? Scorps yes I thought the water birth looked lovely!! Mr Moo was hiding behind the laptop when the head was poking out her bum!! ha ha.

Medee that sounds like a really exciting opportunity!! I did it years ago and I have to say I would go back if someone offered me the equivalent job - the weather, the standard of living... I could go on... Sydney was fabulous.

I;m sorry I'm not up to date on the thread but wanted to come and give you all beshy thwacks on the arse.

Day 42 in Medee's cycle, and spotting is imminent, but still no sign. Medee quietly goes mental wondering if it could possibly be this month...

Oh Medee, sounds promising...

One born every minute - that chappy had a Level 5 NVQ in management, dontcha know (ooh big wow). I'd have killed him if he'd spoken to me like that.

Loved the waterbirth, want one want one. But of course they only showed 30 seconds of that because there was NO DRAMA.

Stats please Medusa...what's your normal cycle length...do you have pcos or owt?

Looks like it is game over this month - got big temp drop this morning, so bleeping fucker should be here by tomorrow. Still, it is 10DPO, which is an improvement on the last few months. Clouds? Silver lining?

POAS Medee!

Crap, crap, crap! Just been spotted on MN by blokes at work! Couldn't think of a smart arsed response, so just blushed.

That blows by "36 and a half, never wanted kids, no never, am a career godess" mantra!

Oh, and POAS Medee!

Just catching up, Beshies: Scorps am so glad 'twas no trauma for you pal. I shall learn from your Valour and Stoicism and be Similarly Brave and get Smeared.

Medee POAfuckingS already!

Beshie - any update on the status of your gusset? Am rooting for yer - fingers, toes, eyes & spleen crossed.

Welcome to the CabbagePatchKid Polly duckie, that cloud's lining is 24k gold with extra diamond insertions and additional little dangly crystal bits.

Meannwhile I am about 8DPO and symptom spotting like a good 'un. Two people have declared that they took one look at my face and decided I'm diffed. I tell you what you can learn from that, people: don't tell your best mates you're TTC, because the slightest touch of Benetint or a more than usually cheery grin and they think it's motherhood making its first tentative mark upon your countenance. Meanwhile, I have the earliest stages of PMT

Poor Pols. Merci buckets for the book recommendation, btw - is very wonderful. I presented husband with about 700 different pills last night, and he literally paled. Poor man.

Medee What ChooChooTrain said - what's your usual cycle length etc?

Huzzah, medee I always think of a Big Bruvva geordie accent when saying day x of cycle.

scorp well done you on your appointment yesterday, v impressed with your bravery.

babe I'm am evil cow, the fellas in your work have made me laugh.

One Born Every Minute - should I be worried that the boyf refused to watch with me, I believe "Urgh, no fucking way" were his words.

If I'd had that happy clappy midwife (who I thought was a tad 2 faced) I'd have found time to stick my toe up her arse to shut her up. WTF? "You are a Goddess!" Silly biatch.
Water birth - me likee. Specially as it only lasts 5mins. Tis on tv, must be true.

I'm on day 26. Boobs feel about 40 stone each. I also feel hungry & sick at the same time. How is this possible?

Headbutts to everyone else, x

Laurie, sounds like you're diffed!!

What Lycra said.

Oh, I have a few days left before I can get too shit scared excited & POAS. Would be the Law according to Sod if I am diffed, 1 week before my Assisted Reproduction Unit appointment. Also spent farking ages filling in the form last night.

Morning BESHIes - dropping in for some random violence and to nick your gin supplies

Laurie Don't worry, my DP wouldn't watch One Born Every Minute either. Was quite pissed off at his "hide behind the sofa" attitiude. He works with calving cows, I think he thinks they can just use the calving jack if you run into problems!

brassylady Glad its not just my DP. Though he has a ponsy IT desk job, nothing like calving cows. Keeps saying it will be different when its me & him.

I did at one point give myself cramp in my toes watching One Born Every Minute last night, as I was scrunching my toes up during labour. What a wuss!!

This thread is making me larf. A lot. But I fear I'm not witty enough to be a genuine contender. Sigh.

I don't even bother putting One Born Every Minute on tbh honest as I know that Husband would run screaming from the room, or say something such as "surely it can't hurt THAT much?" incredulously. I fear at the moment he's just bobbing along in the wake of my ferocious will. I'm sure he'll be pleased if I ever do get up the duff (and if I hear one more "You'd better get cracking. How old are you again?" I'll lamp someone).

Mind you, I watched it hiding behind my laptop screen

I can just see it..."Get away from me with the calving jack you mad man!"