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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

To TTC or not to TTC, that is one of the many questions...

964 replies

YorkshireTeaDrinker · 16/02/2010 10:56

Ok fellow ditherers, as we have filled up one thread (and still not made too many firm decisions) here's another one for us to continue to procrastinate and worry on.

Here's to more monitoring of relative green and redness, mutual support and occassional chivving, discussion of everything baby or not baby related, and perhaps even our first BFP...?

OP posts:
YorkshireTeaDrinker · 11/03/2010 22:36

Hoorah hoorah for Mr HP-SP! The evidence of this thread suggests that he might be right, you know.

Will answer other questions tomorrow, just couldn't go to bed without celebrating the fact that team HoneyPetal have made a decision!

OP posts:
lizardqueenie · 12/03/2010 08:14

yay for you HP xx

confuseddoiordonti · 12/03/2010 12:37

Can't really post as at work, but OMG!! OMG, OMG, OMG!

Okay - so far in the running it's

  1. YTD
  2. LQ
  3. LST (I hope!)
  4. HP SP - ???!!

Will try write later tonight (am away this weekend)

HoneyPetal · 12/03/2010 13:51

Cripes...we will still be using condoms, though, I'm not rushing headlong into TTC . I guess we will just see how it goes regards how I am off the pill and if I can get a new job. I am very green, but still in a passive way, like, oh, it would be nice one day.

My stats (for now) remain...

HoneyPetal-SparklePants nTTC(no hash on a Mac)1 cycle 1 UCL28 CD4

YTD - do you temp? Im not happy with my thermometer, when it stores my temp it gives two different readings. And my temps so far have been in the 96.6-96.9 F range, which seems low. I looked up the normal range and Im within that, but Im below the TCOYF graph starting point. Maybe its the pill effect?

Hurrah - nearly the weekend!

(I hope someone is around tomorrow night to make sure I'm not sat with my pill packet in hand again....)

Suerock · 12/03/2010 18:08

I don't think you need to worry too much any more about your DH's lack of green-ness HP I'll be with you in spirit on Saturday evening but possibly not in virtual-person as our internet connection is on the blink. But you know, coming off the Pill would be a good experiment to collect lots of data on, err, well, interesting physiological stuff!

I think you are absolutely right about the lack of systems being in place for equality in this country - and I would include in that the lack of opportunity for dads to care for their kids too. But I should say before anyone throws anything at me, that I completely and utterly respect anyone's decision to give up their career for children. I'm just not sure I can do it myself, and it frustrates me that I'm only backed into this corner because I'm a woman. Ssss....

I had my first RL TTC conversation today! (apart from with DH of course) It was truly weird to talk about the stuff we talk about on here, but incredibly reassuring to know that at least one other person is in a very similar dilemma to me.

Have a good weekend all of you. xx

LeviStubbsTears · 13/03/2010 00:38

Hello ladies,

So sorry I've been a bit quiet - busy, and a few ups and downs. Was a bit gutted, somehow, when I got my AF for the last time before IVF - in part because I'd had this secret and totally irrational hope/feeling that we might just do it on that last cycle. But should be pleased really that there is some action to be taken at last. To that end, I went to the clinic today and picked up my enormous purple bag full of medicines - it's actually huge, as it contains a box for discarding sharps (used needles, oh yes, I've got all the lingo now). I should start injecting for the 'down-regging' (when they provoke a temporary menopause - what fun...) around 23rd March - I've opted for injections rather than a nasal spray, rather to their surprise, as I would prefer to stick needles into myself than spray stuff up my nose, and it seems a little more certain you're delivering the right dosage. Haven't actually tried yet, obviously, but I'm pretty mellow about needles (piece of cake, right, confused!).

The weirdest thing about this limbo is that we're NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING UNPROTECTED SEX!!! They obviously have to make sure I'm not pregnant when I start the down-regging, but it does seem a little crazy. Haven't bought condoms for a loooong time. Still, better show willing and reassure DH that we can and will have sex without the sole purpose of procreating...

Otherwise things a little fraught - my dad has been diagnosed with bladder cancer. They've caught it really early, and should be able to blitz it with targeted chemo, and are even talking about a possible 'cure' (and even if it reoccurs it can be managed pretty well). But somehow the 'c' word is still scary. But I know (and we all do on here) how lucky he and my family is that it was caught relatively early. It's slightly tricky to know how concerned to be, and in particular how much I should be talking to my parents over and above the normal. I get the feeling they want to carry on as normal, and there's no reason not to for the moment, but I don't want them to feel I'm just ignoring it, or not taking seriously the anxiety they are inevitably feeling, or for that matter what my dad has been through in terms of surgery etc. and has ahead of him - though the chemo is localized and absolutely nothing like the usual horrible stuff.

Anyway, quite enough from me. How are you feeling, YTD?! Hope you're not getting too exhausted. And all good wishes for your friend and her baby - sounds scary, though basically ok, thankfully. My sister was 5lb 4, like confused, and I was 5lb 7 (my mother doesn't eat, basically!) and we're both strapping women now! [Looks at impossible-to-shift belly ruefully...]

HP, HP! That is so exciting!! And from my perspective at least so nice of your DH to take some responsibility onto himself and own this (in the horrible jargon of the day) as his decision too. At least I hope it felt like that. I just wish my DH would be like that and actually make some sort of positive statement - it would make it so much easier for me to press on with all this. (I can't complain though, really - he's stopped whingeing, which is pretty good in itself, and even made some observation about not booking to go away before Christmas as I may not be up to too much travel.) Anyway, v. best of luck with the first (big) step. I will probably be around tomorrow night so will look in and wave encouragingly.

Congrats too, lq (can't remember if I said that already) - you didn't dither long on the ditherers' thread! It is bananas that we've got two BFPs in such quick succession.

Hope you're doing ok, Suerock - all sounds very tough at the moment. I feel the same about working - though as you say am full of admiration for those (of either sex) who stay at home with their kids - that is really hardcore hard work. And very valuable. I am still in complete career turmoil, trying to decide whether or not to leave my current job, and jettison/waste all the years of education and temporary jobs and poverty and crap that it took to get here. But I know I'm lucky to (currently) have some degree of choice. And I know those choices (if they even exist - the alternatives being rather speculative) will diminish dramatically once I have a kid. It's such an old-fashioned, bra-burning feminist word, but it basically is bloody patriarchy (without any hostility meant to most of the individual men I know).

Am crossing everything for a quick and satisfactory (or more than) house sale, confused - the market is a bit slow at present, but people do know a good thing when they see it, and I'm sure the right person will come along soon.

OK, bet you're wishing I had kept schtum now! Sorry for the mammoth post. Lovely to catch up with you all, though, and will keep you posted, probably in horrible detail knowing me, about the fun few weeks I have ahead!

Italiangreyhound · 13/03/2010 00:59

LeviStubbsTears Hi, so sorry to just but in but was just wondering how you were as had not seen you on another thread and saw your name at the top of the list. Just wanted to say so sorry to hear about your dad, will say a little prayer for him. Also wanted to say good luck for your treatment, you are not far behind me and I really wish you all the best.
Italiangreyhound from the Assisted Conception thread - no need to reply, just wanted to wish you well.

lizardqueenie · 13/03/2010 08:06

Morning all

LSTso sorry to hear the news about your dad. Its a very scary place when someone mentions the c word but I am pleased that they have been able to find it early on. Sending lots of positive thoughts and hugs to you.

Your bag of medicines sounds quite interesting. Totally understand your needles over nasal spray argument - couldn't bear to put something up my nose, yuk!

Thanks for your congrats (I cant remember if you said it either, i must admit i sometimes get the treads a bit confused).

I want to hear from YTD to find out if she is having the crazy symptoms I am having at the moment?! This will give you a laugh... the strangest rudest dreams about very very attractive unattainable men. Not famous men but none of them are DH (bless). I'm just going to enjoy it while it lasts. Though last night I had a dream about being in a disgusting toilet and I actually woke up this morning physically gagging. Oh well rough with the smooth!

I'm about to hoard my lardy bum off to the gym now to go swimming. Got the info from SW consultant about doing the plan in pregnancy so am going to start that too.

LeviStubbsTears · 13/03/2010 10:42

Thank you so much, Italiangreyhound, that's really lovely of you. I have been meaning to come back onto Assisted Conception thread, but haven't had much to report (other than "still not started") and everyone on there seemed to be having such big experiences (good and bad) - somehow I felt a little uncomfortable weighing in with consolations and congratulations as I didn't feel I knew people, being so new (and intermittent) to the thread. But I think I'll feel more a part of things when I start with the whole business. Really hope things are going ok with you - I'll come back on AC pronto and find out!

Great dreams, lq! I've heard that pregnancy makes people, er, libidinous (trying not to say horny!). Enjoy it. I'm sure vivid dreams are quite common with all the hormones swirling around. Thanks for the wishes re. my dad - it's about as good as it could be so I'm not complaining - in fact realize how lucky I am - but it's just that realization that they're mortal (ok most people get this a lot earlier than me - delayed psychological maturity - oh yes!).

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend - I'm off to the library to write an essay - rock 'n' roll, eh?!

Italiangreyhound · 13/03/2010 13:43

Levistubbstears Great signing off will try not to but in again but of luck to all on this thread.

YorkshireTeaDrinker · 13/03/2010 20:51

Good to hear from you LST. Goodness, you have a lot on your plate at the moment. Really hope all goes well for your dad. Has it been caught early enough to be diagnosed as official early bladder cancer? As apparently that can often be removed completely with surgery. But you are right, no matter how good the prognosis, cancer is always a scarey prospect.

The IVF prep sounds like a fairly major undertaking. Good on you for choosing the needle route. I am an absolute wuss when it comes to needles. Sounds like its going to be a bit of a rollercoaster ride. Really hoping and praying that it works out.

LQ so far I have not had any dreams at all. I don't think I have the energy for vivid dreams right now, am still exhausted. I spent most of this afternoon asleep on my new sofa. I hope this tiredness isn't going to last much longer. Seems like I'm being a bit feeble to be this wiped out only weeks in.

Hope the flowers did the trck Confused and you get a successful viewing soon.

And HP keep away from the pills. We're watching you...

OP posts:
lizardqueenie · 13/03/2010 22:00

Oh yes HP are you around? I thought you wanted us to keep you away from popping those pills!

YTD i feel that the dreams are a perk . i seem to spend so much time sleeping too and i feel less bad now that you are feeling the same. I didnt think it would be as bad as this. I did get up early this morning and then go swimming but then came back, had a nap, curled back up for another proper nap when DH came home, popped out this evening as DH had to get his mothers day card and I am just rubbish. Even had the opportunity to go out for dinner and I was just so so tired. Plus the fact that my boobs, OMG, there just have little pangs going through them all the time. Knackeredness and hurty boobs makes me a v unhappy camper so I have come to bed with the laptop and a yoghurt.

HoneyPetal · 13/03/2010 22:25

I'm just about to not take my pill.

Had a small wobble earlier.

Am half asleep but will catch up tomorrow.

confuseddoiordonti · 14/03/2010 19:05

Hello all,
Am back from a night in Nottingham as it was BIL's 50th birthday (dire - more later.)

LST I am REALLY sorry to hear about your dad! Anything that involves the word 'cancer' is bloody scary, and I do know what you mean about the realisation they are not immortal. Thank god it's been spotted early and will hopefully be able to be treated relatively quickly and easily. Lots of love xxx

HP - I do NOT want to hear you took the damn pill, understand...?!

YTD and LQ you are making early pregnancy sound like a slightly weird sleep fest! How on earth do people cope when it's their subsequent child?

I am back after being at a 50th party for DH's brother. I say party but it wasn't a party as I'd describe a party. Even DH says that his family doesn't do parties very well. It is very VERY awkward and stilted and bloody hard work! Add to this, DH's mother gets into a state about everyone being okay (she gets really nervy and fretty) and that her hearing is awful so she can't hear anything anyone says (so assumes it must be something about how they are too cold / hot / hungry or whatever.) The party was in a room above a pub and was pretty soul less. We got there at 7 as instructed but the mini bus didn't come to get us until 12.45 - boy, it was a looong night! I was determined not to drink too much and did manage to pace myself very well (I wouldn't want to be drunken in front of them - although have before - as none of them really seem to and also god knows what I might say / do.) DH on the other hand was hammered and kept saying 'I'm certainly not doing this for my 40th, we're going to Cambodia instead!' Not entirely appropriate really, but what the hell! (Was nice that he was being the drunken one rather than me for a change!) Spent quite a large chunk of the night talking to one of DH's sister in law's about how I didn't want kids - she asked me you see so I did my usual spiel. I am not sure why I do this (terminally immature perhaps?) It maybe force of habit as it's only until recently that I have changed my mind, and even that's debatable. I think I also don't like the fact that people assume you do as it's the done thing. Do many of you talk about wanting children (or maybe wanting children) in RL? Or do you save it for here, like me?

LST do be careful with the condoms! Someone I know got pregant while on the drugs for IVF which are meant to shut down your fertility - the doc told her that he was sorry the IVF hadn't worked, and then grinned and told her why! Hope it's not too heavy going with the medication, and even if it is remember it's a means to an end!

lizardqueenie · 14/03/2010 19:46

Confused Ah your post has made me laugh! I know exactly what you mean about going to souless family parties...have just come back from my MIL's house and DH's family are frankly strange - even he says it!

Love your DH's comment about him not doing that for his bday - yes inappropriate but hilarious as he was drunk and it was the truth!

Re the comment about people asking you about having kids, totally agree - other than v close friends & you guys on here I hate it when people ask & assume that that's what you will be doing next. In fact, I think its quite rude to ask depending on who's asking.

I need to rant about my in-laws so here we go...FIL & MIL are ok, a bit "victorian" i would say, very old fashioned views practically perching on prejudicial views and my SIL who is an out and out racist and doesn't like disabled people "frightening for children" and ugly people "just pointless". In case you were wondering no she is no oil painting but worse she is a teacher. Oh joy. So part of my parenting issues will actually be trying to keep my kids away from my SIL. Sorry for the rant, but it really gets my goat.

confuseddoiordonti · 14/03/2010 19:57

Oh dear, your in law's sound horrendous! My former boyfreind's mother used to have stupid views (think Daily Mail) and that used to wind me up, but they weren't on the scale of your in-law's. Agree, keep that SIL away from your child!

DH's family are just dull. Very bland and very dull, and his mother constantly 'frets' about everything possible which is both draining and irritating (I mean, what on earth would she be like with a real problem if she's like she is over trivial things.) Still, maybe I ought to count my lucky stars as I may have got off lightly!

HoneyPetal · 14/03/2010 20:33

Just about to sit down and watch a film with DH so haven't been able to fully catch up.

I do want to send a full Internet hug to LST and send my best wishes to your dad. Like everyone says, thank goodness it's been caught early and fingers crossed for a speedy return to health. And good luck with all the IVF medications, I think you are very brave and comitted to put yourself through injections and the rest of it.

That party sounds crap, Confused. Bloody hell, I was in bed by 10.30 last night, no way could I stay up until 12.45! I know, rock n roll!

Better go, the film is starting.

Oh. Was there something else?

I totally didn't take my pill.

SeaGreen · 14/03/2010 21:48

Hello ladies. My travel plans continue apace, and meanwhile my world is crashing about my ears. Suerock my sympathes are with you! make that empathy. LQ , congratulations, I realise in my haste to read the thread I didn?t congratulate you before!
I have been avoiding all sorts of baby related stuff. Or if I read it, I?ve cultivated this mental distance now. i saw one episode of One Born Every Minute but i feel sick watching too much of something now when i don't know when i can do anything myself, so am doing the vicarious enjoyment of baby related stuff thing in small doses. Earlier, it was a ?good fun, and am hoping to try this out very soon? type thing. But now it?s a ?I don?t know when and there?s no point thinking about something that I might not be able to do for many many more years?. Hope I?m able to sort through the sh*t before my ovaries curl up and die! I?m sorry to be such a downer and to sound so bitter. it WOULD be that life would go all effed up just around the time that i would have liked to have a kid. it's complicated. maybe, just maybe, against all hope, things will go all right again.
I?m so, so thrilled for you YTD and for you LQ. am enjoying your journey through your posts.

SeaGreen · 14/03/2010 21:50

LOVE the new 'confused' emoticon btw!! does it mean confused that you should now be doiordonti

LeviStubbsTears · 14/03/2010 22:09

Woohoo, HP!! Good for you. It must feel like a big step, but there are other methods in the meantime and it's a step in a certain (the right?) direction without committing you too much.

Thanks, folks, for your very kind words (and hugs) re. my dad - it's really great to feel so supported. My mum sounded much better today which helped a lot - part of it is worrying about her as she is quite fragile emotionally in general.

Hmm, confused, sounds grim. There's nothing like a bad party for making home seem sooo attractive! Hope it wasn't too awful. We stayed in last night and watched the West Wing which was great! (Not that I should feel virtuous as I went out and drank two nights in the week - not too heavily but I'm sure I shouldn't be drinking at all, or barely, in the run up to starting the injections.)

I had a long chat to my sister, who is having a really tough time - she's back at work teaching in a really rough school 3 days a week with her son in nursery, but he's constantly ill from bugs he picks up there, and then they get what he has but much worse, so she's been quite ill on and off, and always full of cold, since before Christmas. I think it was in part to make me feel ok about the prospect of IVF not working, if it doesn't, but she was more or less saying 'it's not that great, having kids', in fact they have found it quite hard going recently. Part of me thinks - perhaps I should just leave the whole thing be and just be a great auntie and help my sister out loads, which would be good for everyone. Anyway, no time to dither now - I'm not really, but it does give you pause for thought.

Err, sorry, YTD and lq, perhaps this isn't the most encouraging thing to post right at this moment. Don't worry - hopefully I'll be where you both are soon myself so I'm not ducking out, honest! And I'll be delighted if I am - it's just I'm still a ditherer at heart, probably always will be.

OK, time for bed - totally knackered at the moment - though definitely definitely not because I'm pregnant! (Haven't found a need for the condoms this cycle, if truth be told - we're both working like maniacs and DH is still on funny hours because of jet lag so we're not always even in the same bed!). But will heed your warning, confused - it would be ironic (and difficult) to slip up at this stage. I think they scan me before I start the first injections, anyway, so I think they would see if there was anything to report, so to speak, but at this rate that's a fairly distant possibility!

Night, all.

lizardqueenie · 15/03/2010 07:54

Hey LST glad to hear that your mum was sounding good, I think that will give your dad a boost too.

Also no worries about your conversation with your SIL. There is something in what you said - about being a great auntie, helping your sister out & this being good for everyone- it just made me think a bit - about you and what you want. The thing is, I think that you have a right to dither, its the same with making any big decision in life (this one possibly the biggest with most responsibility). although you may find it hard and get frustrated with your dithering, thats just something that you have to go through. The dithering is just weighing everything up and trying to make the best possible decision. So although you say you could decide not to have children, which is still your decision to make, try to make it for you as I am sure that you would still help your sister and be a fabulous auntie even if you had your own kids.

To be perfectly honest-we were dithering (hence joining this lovely thread) trying to work it all out, make sure everything was right and then it just happened. we decided not to dither and to ttc for a very short time, then I thought, oh no all the rubbish at work and then one night of no contraception and here we are! And although it was a massive shock, I am really pleased, thrilled and I know this is what I want. So now even if something didnt work out with this pregnancy I still know now I would like to try again, because my mind's in a different place now.

Sorry for all of this whittling on, i just saw your post this morning and felt worried for you. Just take your time with it.

seagreen thank you for your congrats.

confusedthanks for your sympathies! Yes its daily mail but a bit worse. Even without being like Alf Garnet its her negativity that gets me too - today it was like the sunshine and conversation got sucked out of the room when she came in!

HoneyPetal · 16/03/2010 19:47

Oh, SeaGreen, what a sad post. I'm sorry everything is going so badly - you don't go into many details but I assume that you are being made redundant? Without knowing the ins-and-outs I wont say too much, but I hope things improve quickly for you. When things are crap is it hard to even think about the baby issue, as your energy has to go elsewhere. Take care of yourself and hopefully there will be some light at the end of your tunnel soon.

LST - how is your Dad doing? Sending all the best. And are you dosing up on the juice yet? Hope its going ok, especially with the injections.

Right, you lot. A word. Whats with this bloody monstrous spot that has ruptured on my chin? I can only conclude that depriving me of my pill has resulted in Hormone Spot. I can count on one hand the number of icky spots Ive had in the last 15 years. Grrrr.

Also, yowzers, I can totally join in on the sexy dreams discussion. In the last four nights Ive had three sexy dreams (and one nightmare), involving inappropriate people (supervisor, anyone?) that I don't even fancy!! Coincidence or Hormone Dreams?

Honeypetal CD8. Spotty and dream-sexy.

confuseddoiordonti · 16/03/2010 20:09

Eat more veg!

In middle of making dinner, but back later with proper post (if you can call my posts proper...)

HoneyPetal · 16/03/2010 20:12

I only eat veg (vegetarian, remember!)

confuseddoiordonti · 16/03/2010 20:31

Fruit then!

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