To TTC or not to TTC, that is one of the many questions...

[YorkshireTeaDrinker]

Ok fellow ditherers, as we have filled up one thread (and still not made too many firm decisions) here's another one for us to continue to procrastinate and worry on.

Here's to more monitoring of relative green and redness, mutual support and occassional chivving, discussion of everything baby or not baby related, and perhaps even our first BFP...?

Hello Easter Bunnies

I'm really not in that much of a good mood but thought I would try!

Wow, lots and lots happened since I was last on here, really sorry if I miss out on the news.

confused well done for getting through your weekend, tbh there are very few of other peoples children that I can stand for long period of time (mother earth here!) so well done for having your friend and her son with you all weekend . Facebook is there just for nosing through the pics, looking up your ex's (or is that just me). Everyone eats and drinks too much over easter, don't beat yourself up for it. I mean you have to eat all of the eggs to get rid of them, or at least that's what DH is doing (more about him later!)

LST sorry to hear that you are feeling a bit crappy & tired at the moment, hope that you start to fill better and get a chance to catch up on your zzz's.

Hi to everyone else and welcome on board newbies.

Back to work tomorrow, psyching myself up for the Northern line & think I am going to try to go in early to miss some of the mad rush - lets just hope I'm not sick!

Easter has been pretty quiet but DH is literally doing my head in. Not that I am one to usually slate my hubby but would it be really too much to give a little bit more help with the housework. And when I buy snakes (here we go again) snacks for myself, that I have put in the trolley, that he moaned were expensive do not eat the whole bloody packet before i have had a chance to even have one!

There's been lots of chat about red and green, I thought of some what might be considered red thoughts though obviously I am very pleased to be pg and fingers & toes crossed all goes well....

*had to buy more maternity bras today, more like t-shit ones than those sad sack ones that I bought before. cant have my bosoms draping on the floor when I go back to the office.

*I can't dye my hair and it looks like a mad old ladies nest of hair, I have to keep moving the parting to avoid showing the grey, I am sure by the end of the pregnancy I will have some kind of combover coming from behind my left ear.

*we looked at buggies in mothercare today, (DH had to amuse himself with something manly whilst I checked out the bra's) just some of the people in there made me wonder..is this what i am going to be like. meiow!

*I am tired, tired, tired all of the time, and when i am not tired I am being sick.

Enjoy! xx

Ps sorry, just saw the length of that post, jees louise

I am hoping that I'll get the besottedness when I have one of my own.

At the moment I am giddy and excited about becoming a Mum, but its more like I feel I'm following my biological destiny and doing what a woman is designed for (I have all these bits, why not use them?) than the fact that I get all broody when I see other people's children. I am rather taken with my friend's new little boy, but I think that is more to do with the fact that he is a baby that I will have a lot to do with (cos his Mum's my best mate) than underlying cuteness. Also, when I cuddle him, I am thinking that this will be my job in 7 months time and that is quite thrilling.

This is fairly tricky to explain, but I don't think I got on this train because I'd seen kids at large and thought, "I want one of those". My urges were always fairly biological and it was more that I was worried that I would feel somehow unfulfilled if I didn't have kids. And I guess at the moment, I am feeling pretty fulfilled. I'm about to do something that is at the same time pretty common and ordinary but also unique, life-changing and massively extraordinary.

LST I think you are probably one of the most grounded IVFers. I think it is right and natural to have doubts and just cos you need an assisted conception, that doesn't mean that the doubts won't be there as they are if you didn't need intervention. I also think its fine to not be maternal (I really really hope it is cos despite my greenness, I am not overflowing with the maternal instinct) cos I really do think its different when you have your own child.

Confused I don't think its selfish not to have kids, and I can see the validity of the counter argument saying that it is selfish to want children. I think our reasons for procreating can be as self centred as our reasons not to. And actually, Polly is right when she says that parenthood is not selfless: "Also - no one has a baby out of selflessness. You really want to be selfless? Adopt". I am totally guilty as charged, cos I really don't think that I could adopt - there is a strong element of wanting to do the whole incubating and gene-passing on in my baby-making motivation.

I also don't think being good with kids is neccessarily a reason to have your own. One of my favourite aunties was childless (until she was 42 - and her only child was very much an accident!) and that made her just the best aunt ever. She was loads of fun, always ready to play and essentially a big kid herself. All of which she couldn't have been if she had her own kids to be responsible for. Not having your own children doesn't mean that you don't have the opportunity to interact with children and positively influence the next generation. In fact, it's probably less selfish to be a good auntie, friend, godmother etc then it is to grow your own.

However, whilst I accept all this, I am still thrilled to be growing my very own half YTD and still think that being a mummy is the best thing I could ever do. I just don't really know how to do it. But hopefully I'll get a baby who isn't fussy and won't notice that I'm an amateur!

ooh, many more posts!
Watching OBEM online- episode one- and what's with the father and son sniggering? i suspect it's embarrassment on the son's part but the dad's been this many more times- he has no excuse! the woman's in pain!
ok will get back- maybe he redeems himself later.
[ pops out again ]

maybe that's what she loves about him- the repartee and the clowning (?).
guess shouldn't judge someone else's equation..

And lots of posts arrived whilst I was composing my previous monster.

Confused tickled by the liking friends children in small does. Same here, although when they get to the walking and talking stage I'm not that keen on even small bursts. I always feel a bit silly around young children.

Glad to hear that things are feeling pretty 'normal' LST. Hope all continues to go ok.

LQ sorry to hear about the sickness. And I see you are getting the pregnant lady grumpiness. Same here. My DH has spent all weekend doing DIY and I'm still laying into him for not washing up! Well done for braving mothercare. I am too tight to buy new bras yet, so am still cramming myself into my old ones. Am popping over the top of my current bra rather alarmingly, so I reckon I really need to sort it out soon.

I have eaten no chocolate this Easter. In fact I've eaten very little, still feeling pretty sick, so sticking to toast, cream crackers, ginger biscuits and crisps, with the occasional banana chucked in for the vitamin content.

As you can see, from your case studies, being pregnant is all fun fun fun. And the the whittering I do about how marvellous the prospect of motherhood is is mainly to distract myself from how crap being pregnant makes you feel!

I agree- i think beyond a point kids get really boring! i found myself reading to a friend's child and i was bored after five minutes. it may also be that the response i wold get from my own child might be different so my boredom threshold might be higher.

btw in the credits for OBEM i noticed a fantastic credit- "Hot Head Operator"!! i suppose it has something to do with operatng the lights or something, but- wow! imagine being asked somewhere "so what do you do?" "me, i'm a hot head operator".

at LQ's "cant have my bosoms draping on the floor when I go back to the office" !!

LQ - you've hit it on the head! Facebook is indeed for looking up exes and the like. In fact, the 'very old friend' is someone I last saw ten years ago when I woke up next to him C'est la vie, eh!

I like the idea of a crazy job title too. A friend of mine is Head of Reality (it's reality tv) for example, which I think takes the biscuit, although Hot Head Operator, whatever one of those is, comes pretty close!

Glad it's not just me who finds other people's children tedious. I can't work out what I think of my friends' little boy. He's okay I guess, but a bit babyish and mollycoddled. His mum also goes on and ON about how it's hard for him being an only shild which I think surely makes matters worse - he's starting to see it has a disadvantage which, really it isn't. If he was home schooled in the Outer Hebrides maybe, but not where he lives (small town)

To continue my arse expanding commitments I am now off to the pub for a swift 'arf. I shall no doubt be back later or tomorrow

Plan B - not going to the pub after all so am loitering here instead.

Anyone around?

Will read the last few posts and see if I can come up with anything else (please don't hold your breath.)

Love it! No idea what it means, but love it all the same!

And congratuations on cooking and serving some real food!

hey anyone still online? im waiting for DH to come back from the shops - we've run out of toilet roll & I guess he's buying a pizza as the oven was on full blast burning the oven trays we keep in the bottom!

YTD what's your work area again? that is if you dont mind saying and it wont completely out you. Just curious as it sounds like something I worked on before. Well done with the proper meal! Thanks for your good luck wishes.

confused totally in agreement about your mates child, I don't think that makes a child disadvantaged to be an only child, in fact I agree that saying that too them would only make them play on it.

Seagreen re bosoms: well i cant be seen to letting myself go (not just yet anyway).

I am! Will read then post

Oo oo oo DH (works in TV) told me what a hot head operator is...its someone that operates a remote control camera, controlling the pan, tilt and zoom from another room....Hope I haven't ruined it all for you! xx

Yes, friend does mention that 'he's an only child' a lot - a helluva lot - along with that he's 'only nine.' Personally, I don't think nine is that young - he certainly should be tying his own shoe laces by then, for example, which he wasn't - and I think he plays on that too. Mummy runs around after him and he has no appreication, along with no idea how to do a lot of things for himself. Or, rather, it wouldn't occur to him to as he never has had to.

On the plus side, as now starting to feel VERY guilty, he was a lot less stroppy than before when he visited. Before he got grumpy when we did things he didn't like, but this time he was relatively self contained. My friend said he is shy so when we had friends over on the Friday (and got very drunk and danced on the kitchen table) he actually went to bed about 8 as he was both tired and not in the mood to socialise.

I have been spending a lot of time looking up former squeezes on Facebook! And they've all got bloody kids! Not that that is an especially relevant detail, I realise, but wanted to say it all the same. Glad this noseyness re ex boyfriends and similar is something that lots of people must do. I do hate Facebook for this, the stalking aspect, but can spend HOURS myself looking up things / people. Rarely post though. I don't feel the need to share the mundane details of my day with lots of others (but am too nosey not to look at their's!)

I guessed it must have been something similar - the Hot Head Operator - but didn't know fir sure.

Thank you Mr Queenie!

he's happy to help!

doesnt do his shoelaces?? yikes!

Yes I always have a good nose around on fb and I do post on it a bit.

I've sorted my outfit for tomorrow - should make it a bit easier for the morning. havent got up early for over a month now.

ooh thanks! THAT explains my question.
my doubt was : clearly the cams on OBEM are tracking people. and they're not just motion sensor cams because they move from person to person when those people are having a conversation. and they zoom in at poignant moments. and they are definitely set in the wall and not held by a person in the room as they show them at the beginning.
and this explains how!

Nope - she did them. Said it was to 'save time' but he just got the shoes and stood there, he certainly didn't look like he was used to doing them himself.

Also, and may I be throughly chastised if I am wrong, me and DH suspect she might also help with bottom wiping. The reason why is because she often goes into the loo when he has clearly done a, ahem, number two and we can't fathom what else it can be.

What's tomorrow's outfit entail?

Considering I don't really like FB I am spending rather a lot of time on it - maybe I need to get out more, or concentrate more on this bloody book. Hmm, now there's a thought!

sorry confused but OMFG! Bottom wiping on a 9 year old?! Crikey what does he do when he goes to school?! In fact don't answer

To be honest though, and I am sorry to say this, I really don't want to get into saying negative things about your mate who I dont even know,so please forgive me, but its not actually the kids fault. if his mum is happy to continue doing it all for him and thinks that the best way then he doesnt know any different.

However I would imagine that he might find things really hard in the future, to deal with sorting out a problem by himself without someone else there to support him. And also his mum might find it hard when he does grow up to actually let go. I mean if you've been doing everything for someone and then they suddenly grow up, want to go out and move out (not that I am saying she would be wiping his bum aged 18!) then what are you going to do??

sorry, tomorrow's outfit, black trousers, purple top, purplish cardie, grey patent shoes, grey & purple beads.

Shoelaces and bottom wiping at 9? Yikes!!

LQ I work in NHS IT - on the National Programme for IT. It is in line for swinging cuts post election, so I'm expecting some reorganisation to occur in the next year or so. The exploitation bit is about exploiting IT systems. Which is basically about helping NHS organisations identify what benefits they want to get out of new systems before they deploy them and trying and get the best out of existing systems post deployment. It is sometimes a bit vague and quite different to my previous posts (I orgionally trained as a librarian, just got increasingly techie), so I don't always feel like I'm achieving much. But it pays the bills and will provide a reasonable maternity leave package, so it will do for now.

Confused Neither of my exes (only the two - I didn't have to kiss many frogs before finding my DH) is on facebook. But I have stalked my first on Friends Reunited - he got married and had kids about 8 years ago, which left me feeling a bit . Just looked up t'other one and found him on Linked In with only one connection. Still in the job he got from Uni, and with only one connection. He could never get his arse into gear and do anything properly! Now found a facebook profile in his name with no picture and no friends - that'll be him! T'interweb is great for having a quiet nosy at people without having to really engage with them.

Nice outfit LQ.

I don't know for certain she is wiping his bum, but I do notice he calls for her when he must have just finished and can't guess what else it could possibly be.

It is very easy for us to say, but I agree that he shouldn't be mollycoddled so much. While nine is young, it's not that bloody young and really he ought to be able to sort things out for himself a bit more. I asked him to wash my dog's Kong (thing you put treats in) and he was so cackhanded and didn't have a clue (ie didn't put the plug in the sink, squeezed a ridiculous amount of washing up liquid in the sink, put just hot water in and the yelped when it was hot. I think you have to give some leeway, but really, nine is a bit too old to have no idea. What do you think?

He is not a bratty child, by the way, just babied and so used to having everything done for him that he doesn't seem to think for himself in any way.

Outfit sounds nice - are you expanding anywhere other than your chest yet?