To TTC or not to TTC, that is one of the many questions...

[YorkshireTeaDrinker]

Ok fellow ditherers, as we have filled up one thread (and still not made too many firm decisions) here's another one for us to continue to procrastinate and worry on.

Here's to more monitoring of relative green and redness, mutual support and occassional chivving, discussion of everything baby or not baby related, and perhaps even our first BFP...?

I had a, sort of, pregancy dream too! Involving sharks, being lost at sea, the worried that the sharks would realise I was pregnant and that would attract them more.

Make of that what you will...

Very glad to hear that it's all okay, LQ. Must have been scary all the same. Has it stopped now?

Weird that your GP was narky about you having been for a scan. It's not that dreadful, is it surely? I think, even without the history of MC and endometriosis, it would be sorely tempting to have an early one - those first 12 weeks must take forever!

For gods sake!

While trying to MN peacefully at work I keep getting harassed by some woman claiming various things don't work, such as the printer. It was hard not to be sarcastic when she asked me to fix it as she couldn't work out what was wrong - it was, in RED FLASHING LETTERS, saying 'Paper Empty', which I would have thought would have given her a clue. Not only did it say that but it also have specific detailed instructions on how to load said paper.

Grrr...

Muppet.

confused i think we are terrorising our subconscious selves
not to mention our conscious selves!

send me some more fab nursery links immediately!

Phew lq, I'm glad it doesn't sound as though it's anything to worry about, and glad there were people around yesterday evening to making reassuring posts.

I'm afraid to confess I watched all eight episodes of OBEM entirely dry eyed but cried when I lost my job - not sure this bodes well for me being a parent.... I learnt something new yesterday though - had no idea you could have a forceps delivery under a general anaesthetic. And I loved the moment when Becky's partner said "I love you" - and her reply was something like "That's the least of my worries at the moment"

TA-DA! You made the mistake of actually asking for some links!! take cover now!
stripes and spots!!
i love this one!!
This is as girly as it should/can get! And this!
pop of colour!!
turquoise and yellow!!
cheerful and sweet
I love this with all the alphabets!!
this is eclectic.
I love the window in this!

Good grief, I thought I had wandered onto a TTC thread for a moment....hang on...what the hell is this ... is that babydust on the table?? Explain yourselves, young ladies.

I'm glad all is well, LQ, rest up and look after yourself.

Hi lovely people, thanks for you support and good wishes. All seems to be ok now, nothing else happening (keeping those fingers crossed it was just one of those things). Helped to know how common it was etc but totalyl frightened the life out of me, kept waking up just to check, expecting the worse.

Glad to hear I am not alone about the GP - particularly that he used the fact I had a scan on Friday to make his diagnosis that everything was very likely to still be ok Still dont have MW appointment until 19th April & scan at Kings on 28th.

Resting up as ordered, popped to shops earlier but am totally knackered this afternoon/ evening.

Re work: called up my boss today to basically find out WTF was going on as they hadnt got back in touch with the union rep. Explained that I didnt want anymore involvement on the project anymore due to the stress and then told her about the pregnancy too which she automatically agreed that it would be in my interest not to continue but that she would need to clear it with her boss. V unhelpfully she actually leaves at the end of this week but have made it clear that I CANNOT go back until I know I will have no further involvement in that work.

YTD glad to hear your approach to work too! Couldnt agree with you more. I cant really get my head around thinking about the birth yet. Even though we've all seen quite a lot on OBEM I still can't believe that is whats actually going to happen. You never know, maybe will give a dignified push and cough and our work will be done?!

confused who is this person that cant use the printer or fill it with paper??

Hey suerock hope your holding up well - don't forget its probably totally different when its you going through it (childbirth) so don't think it would make you a harsh mother at all.

As a result of last night we have decided to tell my parents tonight. I just think if anything were to happen (given everything else recently) I know I would want their support. And because I am as soppy as a sack what better way to announce they are going to be grandparents for the first time than a thorntons easter egg with Nanny and Grandpa iced on! Not sure how impressed DH is but I thought well 'tis the season.

Right off to look at SeaGreens fab links - if you missed part of the convo last night please go back and read the bit where confused was trying her hardest (bless) to reassure me and actually posted a link on making your dog do tricks! It was the funniest timing ever! Thanks confused thats still making me laugh!

ooh i want this for myself!
with the matchbox bed!

ooh and how amazing is this tent!
okay i have got to stop!

LQ that sounds really exciting!!!
YTD what about you- when are you telling your family/ friends?
must admit, have had some of the stuff that cheers, bit tipsy, and raging green today.
If it was not apparent.

Hey all,

I'm going to take a little break for a while. It just feels a bit weird still being quite red, and perhaps posting negative thoughts about babies and working through all the reasons not to have a baby, when there has been a change of tone to the thread. It doesn't feel right, somehow.

My arm remains firmly raised in the Ditherers salute.

Take care. Maybe see you in a while.

HP - DON'T GO!!

Surely you don't think even I, of all people, have gone to The Other Side?

Hey, I am still very much a ditherer. I tend to get flashes of green and then lots more red and amber (can't believe we are talking about these colours as if it is quite serious, but it does make it easier to get the point across! Also, I wouldn't say Suerock was a greener either, more of a, erm, swings both ways kind of a gal.

Honey Petal? Hoooonnneeey Peeetaaaaaal....???

Come back HP SP !! don't let my booze fuelled greenness put you off our thread!
in fact at this moment, IMHO, i don't see TTC happening for me at least another 3-5 years- arguably not completely voluntarily.

And, HP, if you read back on my posts, on Monday I was very much red and then Tuesday I was madly badly green.

If that's not chopping and changing, I don't know what is!

Also, I have ideas about how I would bring up a child as I have worked with loads of children so it's inevitable you get ideas (rather like I did when working on a wedding mag, even though I couldn't see myself getting hitched.) It'd not from spending hours pondering the subject, trust me!

And ignore Seagreen, she's pissed

HP don't go!!

Anti-baby thoughts are still very much allowed. This is first and fooremost the ditherers thread. All shades of red, green and everything in between allowed.

I think the composition of the thread is pretty much as it always was. Confused is still confused, Seagreen is winding herself up gorgeous baby stuff, but still unlikely to follow it up with firm action, Suerock is still dithering, you are flying the flag high for ditherers and LST is still TTC and worrying about the consequences if she is successful. really, we've made a remarkable lack of progress in the 6 months that this thread has been dithering along!

It's only really me and LQ who have altered the equilibrium by actually getting upduffed. But I've been boringly green for ages - it was always going to happen eventually.

Exactly! Looking into things properly, even those who are now upduffed aren't truely and constantly green! Blimey, even though LST is now injecting herself in preparation for IVF she is still also dithering!

In fact, if I may be so bold, one could say that someone who's just come off the pill and who's DH, after months of the subject being a catalyst for a row, is now saying if it happens it happens is possibly more green than quite a few of us!

Hmm, YTD, our lack of progress is almost impressively bad!

Brief change of subject.

Post from S's blog (who's got cancer) He had a scan last week and has just got the results. In his own words...

"Reduction in liver and pancreas mastis. Bone more pronounced on the scan, but this could be scarring caused by the treatment. Long and short is that the treatment is working and I should continue with the next 4 cycles of chemo. He suggested plan A for the 3 months after chemo - ie piss off and enjoy myself.
A happy consultant with an even happier patient.
:-D"

Whooppeee!

Shit. I can't leave without explaining myself a but better, so hopefully no-one thinks I'm being a complete bitch!

I think you are all lovely, and have been rocks for the last six months, and I want everyone to be as green as they feel on any given day. You all have every right to be green or red or amber. And I am SO delighted about the dither-babies, couldn't be happier for you. What I am worried about is posting something along the lines of 'feel super red, babies are rubbish and I feel like I would be chucking my life away if I had one (a baby, not a life)' and the next post is someone worried she may be miscarrying or is struggling to conceive. I would hate myself for that, and have never, ever wanted to upset anyone accidently with my dithering (so I stay away from most of MN, as people get pretty angry with the indecisive).

So perhaps a break is in order. This is not, repeat not, a flounce, I swear. HP-SP is not the flouncing type!

C, that's awesome news, fantastic - as always, sending all the best.

Fair enough but I actually think you might be overthinking things.

Nobody would feel angry for you for feeling a different way, and that's from red to green, than them.

Even those who are TTC or, say, LQ last night wouldn't mind. This, and I believe it was you who may have first said this, is the thread where anything goes. Anything. Which is why I also post about S having cancer, for example. (It's like me now not feeling as if I can post about that as YTD's dad died of cancer, or LST's dad has just been diagnosed.)

And, while we're on the subject, I like having a working pelvic floor too! (Sorry LQ and YTD...)

If you do go, and I really hope you don't, you'll be missed!

Besides, I still have a sneaky suspicion you'll be number 4 (YTD - 1, LQ - 2, LST - 3 and HP SP - 4!!!)

Oy Confused, my pelvic floor isn't buggered yet!

Main point is HP, if you do slope off we'll really miss you. You are funny and witty and this thread will lose some of its sparkle with out HP-SP.

And I love the fact that you are dithering about whether to stay and dither or not!!

But we won't rty to hold you hostage, you can have a wee break, as long as you promise to pop back and update us on your cycle status. And please don't think that any of us would be offended by violently anti-baby sentiments expressed here. (But I might take umbrage at you thinking that I might!)

Confused great news about S.

Ooops!

Confused manages to piss off someone else while telling HP not to worry about offending people...

Perhaps I need to stick to simply posting inappropriate dog links!

Just don't want you to write off my assests whilst I still have them confused.

Not that I expect to have it for long. Disturbingly, I had a brief conversation about pregnancy related incontinence today with my mate who's recently given birth. She was saying how pleased she is cos she's not wetting herself anymore (3 weeks post birth) and that she'd been on the tena lady since about 24 weeks. She never mentioned this when she was pregnant, but choses to tell me now I am.

HP just wanted to back up what the others were saying especially being in the same position as YTD, I think its great that we can all come on here, different walks of life, varying different levels of greenness and let me say that even more self despite the up the stuff state sometimes I have thought crikey, what about x, y & z all of the reasons that I was dithering in the first place. Those are pretty much still there but I guess its how you deal with them. What brought us all together was the "dithering" and the fact that we all analysed everything to bits and still do...that's the people that we are. So I don't think you are going to offend anyone at all if you are feeling very red, its ok because thats how we all supported each other in the first place.

I think we call all unite and agree that NONE of us wants to be wetting ourselves like YTDs mate - crikey why do people tell us these things?!(rapidly squeezing the pelvic floor as I type)

aye aye- can do without the TENA!
HP i agree with LQ- the funadamental nature ie that we are ditherers hasnt changed- some of us are on this side of the fence and some of us on the other, and some plain astride the fence and hoping not to fall off! but we all love to over analyse and torture ourselves anyway- which is why we are on this thread in the first place! and somewhere down the line the thread has also become just about sharing thoughts- and not just red, green and amber ones- and i love that.
confused- am un-pissed again - but dreading a lo-o-ong day tomorrow.