The BESH 30s TTC thread in the world EVER - 2010

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C'mon girls, this is the year. We will form a circle and concentrate hard on diffment.

Meanwhile, David and Jenson have popped the corks and are pouring out the Bellinis. Truckle of stilton anyone?

cho when does the IVF start - is soon?

Speaking of frozen baybeez where is HCS when you want her?

Hmmmmmmm camel hmmmmmmm that is MOST interesting. And were you at mine??? Dunno what I'll do when mine's submitted. Even if the novel gets published it'll make me enough money to oooo, pay off one credit card, so reckon I'll just continue with my day job, bitterly insisting everyone calls me 'Dr' as I do the photocopying chiz chiz chiz.

iggy are you EAST???? I reciprocate your stalkerliness no wuzzles, witness my posts on this fred like the loser I am....

Has anyone seen the mntv thing? What do you think? I can't see it from my work puter.

SARF EAST innit... not East - but I used to live there and Faaaahhmmly live there...

get you with you emoticons waccy

Does everyone round here live in London?! Tis many miles from here.

Was in a supermarket that's nowhere near where I either live or work today, so decided to buy sticks to pee on while no-one I know was likely to spot me (paranoid? moi?). Was v amused by them having security tags on them - is this cos people are so desperate not to be seen buying them that they're prime candidates for getting shoved into bags by usually law abiding citizens? Or does nicking them fund a black market trade on ebay?

I've now hidden them away with all the cheapy ebay ones that I've got no idea when I might need to pee on - missed opportunity to try and work out if I ovulated (fertility friend thinks I did based on temps but I think it's making it up) and now have no idea when to expect droid so no idea when I should even think about POAS. Hey ho.

On the plus side, we now know where we're going skiing and it's only 4 days away - hooray! Am hoping I can emulate ski (I think) with the eat what you want and lose lots of weight anyway, but I can't see it happening somehow....

ocarina Funny thing is, almost everyone here is what I could call a southerner, for to me anything below Hadrian's Wall is "Down South". (Though I now live in said "Down South") Have we any new Highland/Island/Lowland/Uplanders to keep me company? No? Then the Scotch is all mine

ignatias I am just about to have my final IUI this month, then some investigations into why I can only make angelbaybees (and I pride myself of pulling off the coup of getting investigated after having 'only' two m/c), then hopefully straight into IVF, before my withered creaking ovaries give up the ghost completely!

I heart AIBU, esp. MIL ones. My restraint in not writing about 3 pages of bile about my own MIL this Xmas should've won me sort sort of award. TYF has been told that Xmasses will have to be reconsidered once there is a baybee in the mix (will be using 'baybee is too ill to travel' as an excuse not to visit till said baybee is at least 46. And they should get off their fucking arses - 3 years me and TYF have been together and they have never once visited our home - and he works with his Dad and his Mum visits other relatives near here too!). Some woman has just posted about it being cruel to pierce a baby's ears and the first response was 'Burn the witch!' which made me absolutely PMSL. I mean, I think it's common and cruel too, but realise it's not worth getting arsed about. I also lurk in Relationships but those often get a bit too distressing. And frustrating - 'my husband insists on punching our baby in the face whilst anally raping me: should I leave him? He did once buy me some chocolates from a garage forecourt in 1993, so maybe I'm being too harsh'.
Why is there no emoticon for a 'FFS!' face? It's one of my most used facial expressions in RL (think the kind of face Martin Freeman does so well).

Is there a link to the thread where Ski brought the pain? I would so relish seeing a proper BESH(PESH) smackdown

Cho, you selfish caaaaaaaaaaaah, the done thing is to get loadsabaybees with IVF then give the extras to undiffed BESHes. Tis the least you can do. And think of the money you'd get from all those interviews with the Daily Heil!

I'm sorry you have to see this
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/896904-Foul-language-on-Mumsnet-133?msgid= 18255969

You've all got me reading AIBU again (not that I'm easily distracted from work) and I've decided I need to stalk ski and her fabulously cutting replies!

CurlyCasper I'm a sassenach living north of the border, so I'd think about fighting you for the Scotch 'cept it's nasty stuff so I think I'll just stick to the gin.

Hi There Scorps!

I can't help myself with the terrible in-laws threads...it's very soap opera of me, I know. I agree we need a FFS emoticon - the only alternative is , and that always feels a bit 'handbag'.

Hmm, hadn't thought about getting Octomom cash from Daily Hate...I always imagined I'd get my dues from them when I finally have a baby through IVF when I am 65 and living on a state pension and benefits cos I am too fat to work.

MrsG...I only come on MN to expand my vocabularly of foul language and disapprove of MILs!

I off to check out that thread - I bet it's turned into a first class bunfight by now!

It's frikkin hil-larious!

MrsG if you are going to come on here and swear you have to really put your back into it. There are professional potty-mouths on this thread, don't you know?

I can't wait to get my IVF baybee in my 60s. I am determined to have the character of Hylda Baker (she knows, you know) and the style of Iris Apfel and be thoroughly eccentric, unsuitable and embarrassing (so just a little bit more than if I had kids within the next few years, then). I mean, I hope I have at least one baybee within the 'normal' age range, but hey, who are we to judge? After all, Pony had her first at 72

Cho, and all fellow addicts, when there's not enough MIL-moaning on MN (so alliterative!), there's always this!

PS Am I the only BESH who's so traumatised by being old and TTC that she doesn't even feel like donning the judgeypants for the 60 yr old IVF mum? I got them out, but couldn't be arsed.

Scorps that is exactly how I picture you at 60!

I am very sorry Vag, I have been learning lots of new words today and really should put them into good use.
I will try harder in future I promise.

So.... I must confess, I've been lurking at you lot for far too long to be seen as sane and have not had the bottle to join... I'll do the questionare, get the drinks in, spend all my hard saved Boots points on CB's... Can I play? I think I'll do you all proud, just be gentle with me at first.

I know, VAG, I wasn't even trying to be funny! My dear maternal Gran was Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabulous like that Iris Apfel she-dude, and I intend to be the same As for the Hylda Baker angle, well... no point fighting what's already started

PS DO THE QUIZ Gazebo!

PPS Hilarious AIBU post on thank-you notes. Do people really have nothing better to give a shit about? Really?

I don't live darn sarf. I live oop norf. In yorkshire. so ner to thattherelondoners. Yorkshire is betterer.

Yorkshire's another country isn't it? Tis the wrong side of the Pennines, but I might let you off.

scrope here is the pregnancy by withdrawal link that ski commented on here

for your reading pleasure

occie you willing to share more on your whereabouts? (Just cause I miss home)

THE BESH TEST

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

Er... Yes. I like gin. Bombay Saphire. It doesn't like me though and makes me turn into a menkul mess

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

I am a cradle snatching cougar by a few years

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use: a) weewee b) poopoo c) foofoo d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

I've always used C maybe that's where I'm going wrong.
People have informed me that, on my behalf they have been doing lots of D. Er... thanks?

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you: a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway. b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

A! But only after you've hit them rythmically on the head for 7 minutes with said stick

5. Is R2D2: a) an adorable robot from Star Wars. b) the source of all evil.

B. My opinion of him has somewhat changed recently.

6. what colour are your walls?

Which walls? Red, kinda fag stained magnolia, chocolate (not all the same room)

7. Number of pets?

1. Cat, not got a good record with pets, just killed all my outside fish with my neglecting of providing an air hole in time before pond frozzed. Did have a snake - died bought off bloke on a train (nay-nay) Did have chinchilla -died of boredom. Got palmed off from someone I worked with.

Bit worried about Baybee when it comes?!

8. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

Alex Reid Derren Brown

9. Lesbian crush?

Octomum (she's good for baybees)

10. What are your views on camping?

I hate it, we go to Glastonbury and that's the only time I'll venture near canvas

11. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on? i) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it. ii) Over 100 quid iii) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

Probably close to B, I do only pee on the best though, £1 from Home&Bargain.
Also been given a load from a recently divorced friend. And I have been known to carry a sample pot around with me.

So? Did I pass?
I know the Gin one is a little iffy but it's not my fault it turns me into a wreck.
Does the ratio count cos I'm sure I could manage a splash without bursting into uncontrollable comical tears.