The BESH 30s TTC thread in the world EVER - 2010

[CUNextTuesday]

C'mon girls, this is the year. We will form a circle and concentrate hard on diffment.

Meanwhile, David and Jenson have popped the corks and are pouring out the Bellinis. Truckle of stilton anyone?

HERROW? Anyone in 'ere? Jeebus on a penny-farthing, I can't keep up with all this! Sozzles if I ignore things mistakenly...

Cho my pelvic floor spontaneously shattered at the your 'LUHVLIE' dirty talk. Fanks for that.

ginprincess I hope your ishoos got better overnight even if just a tinybit. And that the droid behaves (mine seems to come one day later each month - give it ten years and I'll be on a 6 month cycle. fucken A).

Scorps God bless you for being kindly; god bless you and send you babies and kittens and a pony in a feathered cap. I'm TRYING to be nice. Is hard because all I think about it baybees and my youth slowly circling the drain and so forth. But he is A Good Egg of the First Degree so I should be sweet.

Ideal fanks ever so...it does help ever such a lot knowing SWI isn't always a jelly-and-ice-cream party with extra sprinkles and a go on the trampoline...I think in my silly naive state I thought ....oh hell I don't know what I thought.

pollypoop jizztastic! Fanjizztic!

Um. I have the signifiers of the RTOD of coming and feel unaccountably gloomy even though there was no chance of diffage this month anyway. Have started to get obsessed with that old biz about having a limited number of eggs, and so every time I have a period I might as well be shitting a ticking clock. Never mind! Him Indoors is on his way to help and kindness and I think just knowing he's not off his onion/an elderly man is helping.

Now imma gonna get me a gin. No fucking tonic in the house - anyone know if Diet Pepsi will do?

LEZZY SNOGS.

x

Afternoon BESHIES. Am just coming around after one too many glasses of vino last night. Had a lovely facial (no, not the kind that makes the boyf snort every time I mention it, the sort that is accompanied by nice tinkle musac & a tangoed beautician). Am now planning to bath & in true welsh style be in my PJ's by 6pm.

ski I'd love to give you a council house in Ely, but you've failed on the main criteria of having a baby conceived by some unknown in a taxi who took you from behind as you leant out the window to vom after drinking to mcu Mad Dog 20-20.

Uh, how do you know if you've had dildocam (vag like a bucket emocion). I've had a HSG - am I just using the technical term?

Stage I'm at - the boyf has wanked in a pot, I've had blood tests & above mentioned HSG. Next stage I believe is Clomid. The consultant told me I don't need it as such coz ovulating, its coz the boyf has lazy sperm. So by taking Clomid I'll be super-fertile (I believe that is a medical term) in the hope one of the laxy little fuckers will make it past my throat vag.

Oh, droid arrived this morning - 2yrs 6 mths after stopping the pill I've had my first "normal" 28 day cycle!!! (Take a bow).

Anyway, sitting upright for this length of time isn't good. I'm off to read "Twilight" in the bath & have a bit of, ahem "me" time.

Laters, x

laurie Bah, you're so judgemental! My mum did some volunteer work in Ely back in the 60s in between being unceremoniously flung out of Howell's and being sent off to Switzerland for a while to learn flower arrangements. She says they were sent to "clean up" a house which contained the parents, several children and animals and it was at the stage where the inhabitants no longer walked to the toilet... then just did it wherever and whenever! They scrubbed and scrubbed for days... then the family went back.

laurie PS, great news on the droid, vag and cossie got their good results within 6 months of normal droid.

Congrats to HughLaurie (somebody 'had to go there') on your first normal cycle length in far too long Bloody hell (sorry if that veers into pun territory) woman, you must have the patience of a saint! And the vag of a 47-yr old crackho Naw, not really. Well done you! BTW, is there any truth to the rumour that Welsh people only ever speak Welsh when they hear English people in shops? I'm 'allowed' to say this, cos am 'a bit' Welsh and have Welsh surname.

Eadfuck, you do make me larf. Thank you for wishing me a lovely baybee and stuff; if they don't arrive, I shall be suing you for mental distress and false representation. No hard feelings.

I wasn't suggesting that you are horrible and should be nicer to your boyf, just understand that they are special flowers sometimes. Of course, I was talking bollocks and the useless lumps need to get with the programme and fill us with working spermz whenever and however we demand it.

And I think we all thought SWI was going to be jelly and icecream-tastic, I mean, when people talk about ttc they always joke about how much fun it is 'trying'. The lying bastards. I think we all imagined it'd be like the heady days of crazed lust when you first get together with your partner, but one (or more) dress size(s) later, stress at work, panicking about infertility and resentments over whose skidmarks they are in the toilet bowl later does not make for unbridled, carefree passion. Or, as it seems for us, at least not when I'm ovulating, FFS!

Ignore me, I am a total fuck-up. I even eat lots of eggs around the time of ovulation in case it's somehow literally or symbolically helpful, like I'm a medieval peasant about to whittle a fertility totem out of mandrake or some shit like that.

HELLO I am back! And gutted about being back. Holiday was fab, I learnt to ski and drank much vin chaud and ate much cheese. Now I am back in London and the flat is freezing and I have to go to work tomorrow. Yes I know it's Sunday, but still I must go.

I have decided to ignore the spotting and treat this month like any other. It could have been anything.

I may have to join the fit BESHies. I have eaten everything in site over the last week and was doing pretty well on that front before then too. Am going to bust out of all my jeans if I'm not careful. Running just isn't as fun as skiing though.

Now, what have I missed? I know to cross fingers for
Cho, but you've all been so busy I'm not sure who else is SWI or 2WOOFLing, or just plain being menkul.

scorpulicious Oh I know, I didn't fink you meant that, is cool! But I think also 'tis no bad thing that I've realised the little pickles need a bit of TLC when TTC. Saw a man-pal last night and confessed all, and he howled with laughter/wept with sympathy when I explained my menkul demands for coitus. He pointed out that once a few years have passed it's bloody bad enough performing at full capacity when you 'have' to on birthdays/dirty weekends, never mind when some weeping woman is lying on the bed, flannel nightie hitched up round her waist & legs spread, ovulation chart in one hand and Mothercare catalogue in the other, screaming "spunk, damn you! SPUNK!"

Muse welcome back innit. I've never been skiing - am frightened of going downhill. As a woman of generous proportions I always feel gravity is not my friend...

Eadwacer In which case you'd be very much mistaken - well yes, gravity works in your favour for skiing. Traditionally world cup champion female skiiers weigh in 12 stone plus. Check out the thighs & arses on ski sunday! It's also a sport where the name of the game is to wear "cover-you-up" style clothing rather than revealing lycra... might be a time to conquer your fears!

Oh Ead, you have made me laugh my head off at that image!

I too am a woman of generous proportions and found hurtling down the mountain fairly ok. I am scared of heights and there were bits where I freaked out, but mostly it was brilliant.

Oh by the way, I have brought back all the lush French ski instructors for the Palace to admire. They did a ski display wearing nowt but their boxers, boots and skis. I still go a bit dreamy thinking about it.

Muser I'm so glad you've caught the bug. We're planning ahead now for 2011 being as this season is just a total write-off due to ms. Bugger. If I can ever give you any help or guidance don't hesitate to give me a shout.

ski oooo really, that's a bit of a cheering thought. Maybe this ass of mine will lead me to glory. Once I was stopped by a Nigerian woman near my house and she said, "Excuse me, are you English?" And I said yes. And she said, "Funny, cos I saw you coming towards me and I thought you were an English lady, then I saw your bottom from behind and I thought you must be African."

TRUE STORY!!!!!!!!!!!

Muser your ski instructors just made me dribble port....(out of gin).

Eadwacer I have a lot of friends who are ski-pros, either instructors or racers... they have thighs & bums. You need strength in that area to be good. The other wonderful thing about it is that you're totally on your own - not one of these excrutiatingly embarassing-waiting-to-be-picked team sports. I'm an absolutely brilliant skiier and my arse is actually the size of France!

laurielou I've finally caught up on the Tesco/Cardiff story and am laughing myself silly at the realisation it's St. Mellons - had to be really!

hullo, it's been a few days, has anyone got updiffed? Welcome back Muser

Oh for FUCKS sake. Decided I needed to POAS after the mystery spotting during the week. I have a line. Given that I had a period this month it looks like I'm doing the early miscarriage thing again. I knew it.

If anyone wants me, I'll be in the Pit of Despair. How many miscarriages do you need to have before the doctors will start figuring out what the hell's wrong?

Muser When was your period? What are your dates doing?

((Muser))

Oh Muser that is shite. Are you absolutely sure? When was your period?

Period week before last, stopped just before I went skiing. It was lighter than I'd consider normal for me, but not so light as to be unusual for most people. It was also shorter. Spotting started Tuesday and I thought it had stopped but it appears it may have started again.

I don't really know what to think at the moment. It just seems too unlikely for it to be happening again. And yet the stick says I'm pregnant. Last time I read a million internet stories of how this happened to someone and it was all fine, but I'm not kidding myself this time.

God you poor thing. Hopefully it is very unlikely that the same thing is happening again. Are you going to try and see the dr tomorrow?

I should probably go to the emergency gynae unit but I kind of don't see the point. Think I'll just wait and see, then make a gp appointment when the tests go negative.

Oh Muser . This confusion and upset must be absolute hell for you. Without meaning to be blithely optimistic, things like this can happen and the pg will continue normally and this sounds like something that happened to my cousin, but she found out that she'd been pg with twins and miscarried one. And she then had an unexplained bleed as well, but went on to have a normal pregnancy. Not trying to give you false hope, but it could be similar.

Am here for you, no matter what

Muser, that's shit. Any more spotting? Fingers crossed that it's all OK and not the mc you fear.

I too am back from sliding down slopes (mostly upright for a change), drinking wine and eating blue cheese. And too much food in general, but it was v yummy.

Have just tried to catch up with you all and have immediately forgotten who said what. But much finger crossing for Cho, and congratulations to Laurie on sensible cycle.

I'm not exactly sure when we should be SWI but have a fair idea that it's when I'm away for work later in the week. Gah. Have started on the OPKs this month because I'd like to know that I'm oving, but having read plenty that says not everyone gets +ves even when they're oving hopefully I won't go too menkul when I just get a series of -ves. Am temping too but am also discovering I almost never sleep straight through and seem to get a very wiggly chart. Oh well, will keep going and see if it ever makes any sense cos it's making me feel like I'm doing something.

Thanks Scorps. I'm feeling a bit numb about it all just now. Nothing to do but wait and see I guess.

Muser I don't want to hand you a bunch of straws to pull at but I'm wondering if it's worth you getting to the doctor for a blood test. People don't get positive tests 2 weeks after a period. They just don't. Is there any chance this could've been implantation? Going on my very basic medical knowledge and BESH shennanigans it's either implantation or your body didn't shed what it needed to shed and you might need to get that checked out. Get to the docs in the morning because being in limbo won't do your mental health any good.