The BESH 30s TTC thread in the world EVER - 2010

[CUNextTuesday]

C'mon girls, this is the year. We will form a circle and concentrate hard on diffment.

Meanwhile, David and Jenson have popped the corks and are pouring out the Bellinis. Truckle of stilton anyone?

...wish I'd shaved my legs...

laurie you've set me off thinking about vagina dentata now. I wouldn't be surprised if the doc says "hmmm ...Ms Chocho... I think we have found the problem!"

Cho put your white gloves and whistle away love, am sending beshie vibes your way .

I bet they've seen allsorts in the turkey basting department. Hope you had a quick short, back and sides this morning.

I have to say I agree with Scorps and Curly. Even if measuring is all bollocks and merely serves to make us more mentalist, at least it feels like you're doing something. The fact that I know I ov a week after most people is something. At least I'm not forcing myself on husband at the wrong time.

I temped for nearly a year. Then my membership to Fertility Friend ran out without so much as a near miss in the diff dept, and it was like one of those little planes, flying across the sky with a banner saying, '12 months! Ha! You useless barren freak!' I couldn't bear to renew. It's a good idea to do it for a few months, to get a rough idea of when you do ov, but I couldn't stand the tension for longer than that. Although I've imposed a three year TTC period, because the novelty wore off about six months ago, and now it's just a bitter battle of wills between me, Fate, work, and biology. I'm not sure I even want a baby anymore - it's certainly the worst possible time to have one, this year - but I'll be damned (Scarlett O'Hara emoticon) if Kerry Katona can have FOUR and I can't have a single one.

Weirdly, though, my DH loved the whole idea of the temping. It appealed to his techy side. Recently he asked me why I wasn't doing it any more (so much for my clandestine thermometer bothering). I pointed out that it was supposed to send most men's testicles shrivelling up in fear, as well as sending most women into a spiralling pit of self-loathing, but he said, 'oh no, it's INTERESTING. Why don't I measure you, and just not tell you what your chart's doing? You need never know...' He'll probably find out there's an App for it, and work it all out on his iPhone.

VAG - how many croissants are you having? No more than two, I hope? [disapproving French face]

Cho - hope your eggs are good'n'cooked.

Erm yes, just the two..... packets

Is v quiet around the Palace today. Am too weighed down with said croissants to participate much but if you would be so kind as to supply me with reading material it would be much appreciated. Otherwise I'll decamp to AIBU. [fat chance emoticon]

Hmm. Are we referring to the same scary AIBU croissant smackdown of a week or two ago? [pats up crumbs with finger]

basting went well...the Boyf performed under pressure (listening to burly builders talking outside the window ), and my teatment went smoothly "Have you done this before Ms Chocho?" ..."Yeah, I know the drill - just get on with it, girlfriend, no chitchat, please"

and then I took my self out for some celebratory dim sum before I wave goodbye to my sanity for the next two weeks...("Do you know how to use the pregnancy test?".."PAH!! Do I???"

Mmmmm dim sum

Well done Choster, I'll be crossing my legs for you.

Figgy, lovely to see you, and can I just say, I shit you not

Well done on the basting Cho and GOOD LUCK. You'll need it, seeing as your Boyf will only be able to get it up when listening to coarse workmen discussing tits and football from now on And I did write on here about my friend's mum's friend (not my Mum - both of us are hilarious 70s-stylee feminists who let the undergrowth flow freely) accidentally using glitter spray on her hoo-ha before a smear. But what is this sandal-wearing site you speak of and why are people nicking my anecdotes?

BTW, re: Ski's earlier comment about not POASing whilst bleeding - I have and I think most people have, and I believe Bessie got her BFP whilst bleeding (or just after), so the motto is: don't feel daft if you do, Newbs. Just feel annoyed with yourself and vastly disappointed afterwards. Thus speaketh Dr Scorpette

Hello BESHies. Am making use of free wifi while drinking my vin chaud. Skiing holiday is fab. The spotting that suddenly arrived four days after the droid left is not. Am feeling a bit broken. It's reminding me too much of the mc. Almost exactly the same pattern. But am on holiday and have learnt to ski. Hooray. Vin chauds all round.

Salut Muser! Glad you're making the most of your break. mmmmm vin chaude.

Vin chaud! I seem to recall I ski better on that stuff. Enjoy and stop pant watching Muser

OMG, lyra, Dudley and I have been rumbled! (And I had to pretend to be an accountant, just so the Daily Mail could tick their selfish-career-woman box.) But come on, four years of TTC without ever cottoning on to the fact that there might be a timing issue?! Did she want Steve Jobs to go round and invent iShag for her too?

Vin chauds and raclette and fondues all round. Is it a James Bond style ski chalet with fur rug and lava lamps?

HIDELY HO NEIGHBOURS. Betcha missed me right? Course you did . Fraught coupla days involving almost non-stop sobbing from various family members. Hopefully all will return to normal tomorrow. PLUS SIDE = deffo not diffed so have been able to smoke self deaf/anaesthetise with armagnac.

cho MAY THE LICKLE BLIGHTERS SWIM LIKE BUGGERY! Good luck!

ChoCho so you managed not to bite the hand that basted you? Excellent news. Now, remember you need to lie down all the time, preferably with enormous quantities of whatever snack products you most enjoy, in the name of helping the implantation process. Seriously, best of luck, dear girl.

I've often POASed AFTER my period has finished

Eddie of course you were missed.

Good luck Cho, thinking implanty thoughts for you

Pissed myself at the iphone story. Like duh, did they not use and abuse google for any potential fertility websites?

Ead what's been 'appnin? sounds like fings are a bit menkul luv, sending a vat of gin til fings calm the fuck down.

luuuurrrve the vin chaud - is it an acceptable breakfast item?

cho glad you are well and truly basted. As sal said, we'll be thinking implantation thoughts.

Hope you're ok ead.

Moooooooorning. Thanks A SQUILLION for niceness, BESHes.

Things better now. The Old Man hopefully getting some help - first steps and all that. Not that he's fully off his onion but just terribly terribly stressed and not been himself for a year or so now ... and it's not helping MASSIVELY with the baybee-hunt. And a lifetime's sadness/ghastly relationship with a family CREATURE sort of came to a head last night but actually I fink will really help and things maybe aren't as awful as I thought.

PHEW! Oooooo look it's half nine already, time for a tipple in my teacup...

Morning BESHIES. CHO Good luck & all that, I'll be keeping my legs crossed for you.

I'm having a slobby day off work today. Actually I took the day off so that I could ring the IVF clinic, after receiving a letter following my HSG. HINT - IVF doesn't literally mean IVF it apparently covers all aspects of barreness. Something I didn't know, & have consequently made a right tit of myself phoning (what seems like) every hospital I've ever been too, & explained the workings (or non) of my foo. Do you think the secretary will put a "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT LET THIS EEJIT REPRODUCE" on my file?

Am beginning to wonder if I should go down this road, or whether I should wander the earth like Kane from Kung Foo.

Laurie, it's not you it's them - IVF means IVF. If they use it to mean ISCI/IUI/evryfin else then they are being LAZY, JARGONISTIC and NOT CUSTOMER FOCUSED. Just had a similar-but-obviously-very-different run-in with Virgin (cable TV, not baby Jebus's mum).

Cho good luck post basting - so how long do you have to lie like that?

Laurie do you have adequate footwear for walking the earth? I don't want to you to end up with terrible foot rot and blisters... best stay at home I say. Hehe - I have also rung fertility clinic about foof, only to be told (after much questioning) - "you've come through to the wrong dept, I'll just put you through". Oh the shame....

Ead vey glad things calming down for you at home, tis good news. Lets have some celebratory drinks - barman, a round of slippery nipples please. Perhaps some bacon sarnies too.

Slippery nipples & bacon sranies sound just the job. Then maybe I'll get dressed & clean the car. Or seeing as I'm near Cardiff maybe I'll leave the house in PJ's. See that yesterday, Tesco in Cardiff asked customers to dress. Ah, classy lot!

sarnies of course.

Fuck me lyra - the woman was a 30 year old accountant - and so presumably not supposed to be thick as mince and yet she had to idea about a "normal" menstrual cycle? It's cunts like this who get the rest of us subjected to the patronising by 18 year old consultant ob-gyns asking us if we have sex and which hole we put it in. Cunts. Also a really fucking good message as to why tertiary education is not for all. Mince. As. Thick.

laurielou You make me wish I were back in Wales. Not for the jim-jams obv. My ex-bff was a policewoman in liverpool - I told her I didn't believe her when she said that the majority of the people she dealt with went to the shops/school-run(ha!)/bookies/pub in PJs. She also said it wasn't uncommon for these "types" to answer the door in just a crop t-shirt and no bottoms.

I have walked the dog late at night in PJs, wellies and coat. Does I win a council 'house in Ely?

PS I am an enormous hypocrite because it's just clicked, it's 11:55 and I'm sat here at "work" in my pyjamas.