30s TTC - After all, we're not nice 'down there' at the BESH of times...

[CUNextTuesday]

ok, needed a wee.

Tragic.

Beshie could have been that the implantation pains have now passed, coincidentally timing with wee?

I have booked a ski holiday for end of Jan with big group of friends. That shurely means I will get diffed this month, right? It's all inclusive so sods law says I should be forced to drink water while everyone else necks mulled wine and gin.

Right, my symptoms today:

I had implantation pains that mysteriously and coincidentally disappeared when I had a wee
I have eaten my body weight in cake (actually, that's pretty much a running 'symptom').
I have bought a new dress
I have no normal updiff symptoms at all.

Muser booking that holiday is a very sensible precaution, I understand it is almost as effective as putting mr winkie in your foo foo.

I had no symptoms tho - Was more that i didn't have any droid symptoms... and last time i had lots of symptoms like nausea for a week before testing...

muser I have heard that works - so long as it isn't a camping and skiing holiday

Definitely no camping. Posh chalet, jacuzzis, someone to cook for us, giant piss up. Bound to be diffed.

I'm C-3PO 2 (DPO2) and am proud to announce that I haven't 2WOOFLed once so far

Muser, that holiday sounds like a guaranteed updiff. We have a set of rules about what guarantees pregnancy, which includes those holidays involving ill-advised activities and booze and 'bad' food, etc.

Thanks Bessie, I you, too!

Scorpette, I was just fishing for m/c sympathy because I will be a nervous wreck next time I am pregnant...you really shouldn't indulge me so...I don't deserve it, you know...I had cheese and wine during pg!

Noticed that Hawaiian failed to resist poas way too early...that way lies madness Shiney...I recommend drinking yourself into a coma until Friday morning, so she is not tempted again...got to be cruel to be kind, toots!

By the way, does putting on weight mean updiff, even if only 7dpo? Is it just cake in my beachball shaped tum tum, or is there a wooden spoon or coconut in there? Is a wooden spoon a girl and a coconut a boy, is that how it works? Are baybees made out of raw egg-whites? Hmm, thinks I need to lie down...this ttc getting a bit much!

Don't ask me what baybees are made of, Cho, I'm still trying to work out how the stork puts them in our tumtums

PS Am still sympathetic and you can't stop me!

I am sure that cake is implanting, I still have pains even after doing a wee

I hope I'm having a spoon - should be an easier labour than a coconut.

Right Bessie...DPO please? I assume you have ov'ed (although I recognised that is not an absolute requirement for symptom spotting0?

Scorps, I think the stork must use its PECKER (geddit) to put baybee in tum tum! HAHAHA ROFL!!!!!LMFAO!!!!!PMSL!!!!!!!!RDRR!

4 DPO or 5, how do you count it? I ovd on Saturday

note I am ignoring that HILARIOUS joke in case my sides actually split

Bessie, I think that licklebaybeejebus is whittling a little wooden spoon for you, as we speak - now you just need to swallow a pink or blue ribbon - ,

Scorps I would probably end up with one of those wudden spoons wots got a hole in it!

scorps it would be easy to give birth to as long as it came out lengthways and not widthways

is someone expecting a spoon?

Med - rather entertainingly I'm not sure I'd be surprised

Are you discriminating against my husband, Mr Spoon?

Cho, your joke put the ROFLCOPTER up to DefCon Two...

Look, here we are together!

Have followed orders and done it in the foofoo.

We've been to Button Moooooon
We followed Mr Spooooon
Button Moooooon
Button Moooooon

Sorry, had to get that off my chest. Well done for doing it in the foo foo Medee. I was hoping to do some of that tonight but there is no sign of MrMuser so it doesn't look likely. I think I may already have oved anyway. There was loads of stuff Sunday and Monday and it completely disappeared yesterday. Would be a bit of an early OV though. Ah well, will do it in the foo foo some more and see if it helps.

The droid has caught me and it has just sparked a row with TG. His first response was 'oh dear' followed by a pat on the head before he continued with his work chat. When tears and tantrum ensued he said 'well I didn't think you were really expecting to be pregnant this month anyway, given that you weren't sure if you Ov'd'. Cue more howling, snot and tears.

Then he started going on about how he doesn't feel that having another child is the be all and end all, and the fact that I do somehow detracts from him and Boo, and makes it all about a baby, like that is more important than anything else. He just doesn't get it. I feel like my heart is breaking and he doesn't get why. The fuckwit. This is an ongoing discussion we have everytime things get stressful. I can't seem to do anything to convince him otherwise. I am sure it his negative attitude that is putting the kybosh on me getting diffed.

He can't believe how mental I've been this month but that is because of impending FC appt. The fact that he wants nothing to do with it ('conception should not be a medical issue') is why I was so desperate to be diffed this month - I know I will not get very far down the hospital route before we start disagreeing on that.

Oh fucking cunting bollocking arseholes. Now I can't sleep. Anyone still up? Bill, I'll have a large gin. Actually just give me the bottle.

Ahhh poor Polyp We thought you were up there this month as well. I wish there was something helpful to say in these circumstances, but if there is I don't know what it is. Sorry about TG - I think blokes just don't realise how much time we spend spotting symptoms, thinking about symptoms, hoping symptoms are symptoms... After days of all that it's bound to be a big emotional drop when the droid turns up, but since blokes haven't invested all that time and energy, I think they don't get what a bit deal it is. Although having said all that, 'conception shouldn't be a medical issue' is quite a twatty thing to say, so give him a chinese burn from me for that.

Oh, I don't even have the heart to give you a good bitchslap. Have a little cuddle since everyone else is asleep. And give boo a big snuggle as well, that's bound to make you feel better. Failing that, break something and go back to bed...

Polly I'm so sorry it isn't your month. I really, genuinely thought it was.

As for TG, is he just being "crap" and not expressing himself well? Jailbait admitted that it was getting harder and harder for him because my hurt and upset every month was hurting him too. He just couldn't stand how upset I was becoming and felt it was all about sperm delivery... In addition to the chinese burn administration I'd also suggest a hockey puck to the knee-caps for the "medical issue" thing.

A visit to the FC is enough to drive anyone insane. I was just winding myself up enough to hit my parents (whom I rarely talk to and I've only seen my mother twice in the last 6(?) years) for money for IVF rather than go back to the "NHS" clinic... We do understand though, Curly went menkul at her docs last month, cried, gnashed her teeth and thumped the desk. iggy is banned from St. Georges (allegedly!) .

Have you tried blaming TG directly? Accusing the problem of being with him?

so sorry polly. I'm not at all sure what to say, except that I hope he realises how hurtful he has been and things get better.