30s TTC - After all, we're not nice 'down there' at the BESH of times...

[CUNextTuesday]

evening all. I was expecting Ov twinges today, but so far nada. I did shoulder stands and everything last night

In a fit of new girl stupidity I have put my credit card behind the bar for my first day so you go for it with the bloody mary's. Can't stand tomatoes myself so I'll hold with tradition and have a G&T.

Hawaiian - will be keeping all extremities crossed for you this week.

Medee - shoulder stands????

Can people PLEEEEEEASE stop mentioning cmping and tnts? I'm Oving/just Oved and don't need to attract the evil at this crucial venture. Aaaargh, the word 'Millets' just popped into my head unbidden

Welcome Newbies! If you are bitter, desperate, misanthropic, possessing of a sense of humour blacker than anti-matter and are frankly borderline psychotic menkul, then you are most welcome Your test scores are impressive (although the mention of babydust did make me spew into my mouth slightly). As you can see, we have much to teach you about the secrets of winning a baybee - why, we've had 4 winners in the last 2 weeks alone!

The babywin checklist compiled by the delectable ChoChoSanitarytowel is the best place to start.

Cuntshine, you know we're all rooting for you and will not judge you for insanely early POASing as we'd all do the same. Good luck is all I can say and I truly, truly mean it

Now, if you slaaaaags will excuse me, I'm off to put up this poster of our resident Page 3 Stunna Pooface. Phwoooargh! You don't get many of them to the pound, do yeh, eh, eh?

PS I've not messed up this month's chances by typing the C and T words, have I? Eek!

I want to see some POAS action. I'm bored and everyone in the whole world seems to be pregnant at the moment so why not you lot?

I shall just be doing lots of SHAGGING in the hope something works. If we do enough I won't need to put the heating on and save squillions.

post-shagging shoulder stands, Pandora (really just swinging my legs in the air) to assist his swimmers with gravity.

Of course. Forgive me Medee. My brain doesn't seem to be in gear at the moment. Just made a chicken and mushroom pie and forgot the mushrooms.

Muser's getting bored, so to quote iggy I'm going to say

BUMSEXscorps did you spit, then spin around three times after typing the C and T words? Perhaps combat it by sneaking checking into a swanky hotel (I stayed in one four days before the victory)

I hate it when the don't work properly...

Thanks, Curly, for that essential info.

BTW laydeez, I'm going to London tomorrow so if anyone is central and fancies a BESH quickie* then let me know on FB!

If not, I shall be offended forever.

*I heart you guys, but there are shops to go to...

No Bumsex! I will not win a baybee that way. I have been entertained by comedy swearing in The Thick of It instead.

OH BOLLOCKS!!! I may have just cmp-ed my way into a babyfail... and didn't even think of it! The place we stayed had "camp" in the name of it - but I assure you there were NO TNTS!!! 4 solid walls (made from lava stone!) and beds with spreads, kitchen, microwave and even a full bathroom - that can't doom me, can it? can it???

Pandora thank you for your stupidity generosity in leaving a tab running with the barkeep! I don't mind G&T either, but the spicy stuff is easy to pound. and I need a good pounding (oh crap! that's off limits too!!!) hmpf~

still 4 days and counting...

scorp I'd be there to give you snogs and all but must be here for the countdown...

cue: offended tantrum

By the power of Greyskull, iggy has hit on the magic secret of this thread's impressive diffing record.

Cross my palms with silver casparstyle and I shall reveal all......

Well, the iggyone did notice this afternoon that 3 out of the latest 4 differs do email me, the stranded one, during the day when I am cast out of fb and mn. So therefore ladies, I am the magic ingredient. You can all stop with the wooden spoons, it doesn't matter whether you can never remember which way widdershins is. All you need to do is keep this lonesome BESH entertained during the day, and lo, diffed you shall be.

ooh ooh cosmo do share!

ps all major credit cards accepted. Also tesco clubcard vouchers.

Interesting theory cosmo. Um... how exactly do you 'entertain' the BESHes? That might help explain a few things round here....

Who is our next POAS victim? hawaiian obviously, anyone else? medee - you're very quiet at the back there, have you been having BUMSEX again?

I have been rude, welcome muser pink and panda. Have a slap in the face each I hope the Palace isn't going to start operating a one-out, one-in policy...

weewee you just have to write nice/funny/any things to cosmo by email and your wishes will come true. I reckon it's karma - one good deed and all that.

(try being outrageous or rude to make her break her cool while surrounded by work mates)

Try emailing her with the rudest stuff you can think of and see if it triggers her work's email-filter.

Yeah casper did that to me once. Can't remember why but I remember she'd written something hilarious and made me spray my tea over the screen.

Gone off spinach. Went into fridge to grab something for lunch, saw a bag of it and nearly up-chucked.

cosmo I emailed you too - so you're right!!! Wow.

did someone say BUMSEX

Where is everyone? Off emailing Cosmo in case it really DOES help you win a baybee?? There's this one chair in our office and every occupant seems to have won, so perhaps I should be working on a way to move desks?

Thanks for the welcome and the slap round the face Casper - I meant to say before congrats to all the recently-diffed ladies....

Welcome dora

and welcome to muser and pinky too

So, it's CD25 and apart from the dead shoulder (thanks iggy) I have no aches, pains or other symptoms of any kind to obsess about. What kind of rubbish 2WOOFL is this?? C'mon body - a little bit of sore nips or nausea wouldn't hurt would it???