Mid 30s TTC - Simply The BESH... BESHer than all the rest!

[Scorpette]

Come on in, ladies. I've had a widescreen telly installed and there's a big cupboard full of 80s teen movies if anyone's interested. New and more secure cages for our prey are being delivered soon. There's a big picture of a desert over the bar, a loudly ticking clock in the corner and bowls of raisins, currants and sultanas on every table; everything the discerning BESH could ask for...

Scorps was on a very specific aspect of the history of Jordan. Oh yes, oh so very, very useful. What's yours on?

We get to have a boring chat now. Eat that pony lovers. (Actually, I like your horse chat - & can't let the muffin side down.)

kimmy What makes you think you aren't oving?

To answer your temp question, I've not yet got to the bit where the temp change happens. Apparently the day AFTER you ov it goes up in a noticeable jump. We'll see. I think my chart is going to be one of those random spider splatter things that the books conveniently fail to mention.

My DH is seeking innocent victims gifted scholars to do PhDs under his firm but dangerously sexy highly professional tutelage.

Herm Scorp just read your post about disappearing periods.

WHAT is all that about? How odd. When you say you were regular before, is that pill-regular?

So, now, another stern chat. Are you eating properly? When I was younger, dopey diets guaranteed lack of periods... god, I hated the 20s.

DM (or possibly nature) is so wrong when it suggests women sd be procreating in their 20s. Time for human evolution. Actually, there is some research that suggests that we are evolving into a race that can procreate later.

Back to work. Really! I must, I must, I must.

Am about to go out, so will be quick - my periods are still regular as clockwork, but my OVULATION has been jumping around all over the place. Hmmmph.

My PhD topic is a Feminist thingy. Might explain later, if anyone's still interested. Laters, BESHettes!

Pony what does your sexy ponyman teach?

As for that temp thing - so that's not madly helpful, then. It means you know after the egg has bolted or what?

Think Ski speaks sense when she says Just Do It.

And you now have the karma of my band (The Breeders). So you'll all be pg by the end of the thread, OK. Oh god, is that perilously close to ideas of babydust? Puke. Hey, there you go: MORNING SICKNESS.

I'm one step behind every message.

At least Scorp is aware of jumping ovulation.

I am vaguely aware of cheesestrings observations.

Bah.

oooh and just read Ponys thing about cycles. Ohhh.
But do you think the slowness is to do with 'clever mother nature' - you've only just had a Ponykid.
Right, work.

Kim SP teaches... well I can't really say as that might identify him/me. He has rittin buks an' evryfink. Let's just say it is one of the components of a PPE degree. Very disappointed that your PhD is not in Piximusicology. Or Breedingology, which might even be relevant and useful for us wimmin of sub-optimal ovarian activity.

The temp theory, according to this (which has made me such a brilliant overnight expert) is that once you have observed the temp shift a few times then you will know your own personal luteal phase length. Theoretically this is remarkably consistent for each individual (scorp excepted, apparently). Then you combine this information with two other observations: fanny juice (detailed descriptions, eurrk)and cervix position (eurrkier and eurrkier). Supposedly if you do this and keep a chart of what you see it will be highly obvious which day you ov. But it is a bit freaky and I must say I am only driven to this course of action by babywant desperation of the highest order.

And actually my cycles have been a bit more sensible since they started again (one 38 days, one 32). I am just worried that they are going to go back to how they were before the ponyfoal: 45 or even sometimes 51 days.

kimdeal - history of Jordan, eh? So - which celeb did allegedly rape her then?

I feel Quite Odd today. There is a very high possibility that this is due to (a) strong coffee this morning, (b) being out three (count 'em!) nights this week, and (c)spending too much of my working day lolling around on the shagpile with Dr Cox... Though I like to see the above as Clear Symptoms.

David, bring me a 2Woolf Champagne Cocktail please!

VAG, as a Jordan expert: I can now reveal that the mystery man was ....

John Craven.

Pony thanks for the link. But, but, but that book looks like way 2 much work.

I shall sit instead at your feet/gusset, oh discharge mentor.

And ooooh, SP teaches PPE? Are we talking Oxbridge then? Sorry, will leave you in peace. We must never know the identity of any others on here. Aside from the fact that I think there is a facebook contingency or not?

VAG - here's your champagne-gin cocktail and a raisin.

kimmy Not exactly. More like where the not-so-bright-second-siblings-of-Oxbridge-scholars go. (No more questions, that's enough for now.)

Yep, book is hard work, and I am not sure whether I really believe its braggy, pat-you-on-the-head promises yet. But if it wins me a baybee I'll go along with it... at least until the madness takes over completely and I am left sitting in a corner slowly banging an anvil against my head. And despite appearances I do not enjoy detailed discussions of cervical mucus. Therefore I politely decline your request to act as 'discharge mentor'. Unless I can come on here under an alias, maybe. juicereviewsRus??

And please stop eating the raisins. Shrivelled raisins is all I got to work with here.

Friday already? How the hell did that happen......anyway, someone else can have a turn with Dr House now

Pony I suggest that you go to see your Dr to get 'em to rule out a thyroid problem, even if for the sake of your own sanity. When I mentioned to my GP that I was starting to SWI she sent me for some blood/urine tests to confirm everything was in good working order and thyroid function was one of them there tests.

Lyra how's the SWI? Still in denial ? You'll get to like it, in all it's messy glory

I don't know what the hell is going on with my stoopid body. I usually have a very regular 31 day cycle apart from months (maybe 2-3 per year) when I have an anovulatory cycle and R2D2 is exactly 5 days late. Last month I started bleeding lightly 5 days early and allowed myself to get a bit excited thinking it might be implantation bleeding. Then it turned full flow with cramps, tissue and clots within a mater of hours so it was obvious that it was the cunty droid. Just in time for my wilderness camping trip (i.e. no outhouse facilities, just bushes and rocks. Pack out what you pack in etc. Lovely).

Anyway, after 4 days it was dying down to brown sludge and I was thinking that it was almost over for the month, then on day 5 (the actual day R2D2 was due)- bright red blood and more cramping again, and now on day 7 still bleeding away. WFT? Anyone have any sagely advice? I guess my own advice would be a swift kick up the jacksie followed by words to the effect "dunno, just one of those things innit. See what happens next. Probably just a one off"......Gah

Curly hope the day from hell wasn't too hellish, and lucky you having a FIREMAN all to yourself. My DH once bought me one of those fireman calenders for my office at work (disclaimer - office was large room shared with others, mainly blokes who had FHM-type calenders up. this was to redress the balance for the ladeez at work). Our building used to have regular fire-alarm-going-off incidents and Mr February was often one of the guys who used to turn up to respond. I even recognized him with his clothes on .

Cosmosis hope you're still in the pub/shopping/buggered off home already. Thats all I did on my last day. Have fun in Italeeeeeee.

Well, just got back from lunch deleting all my emails and then I think I'll sod off.

Laterz. Kisses and slaps all round.

Aerie Dunno, just one of those things innit. See what happens next. Probably just a one off...

I have shagged with intent THREE WHOLE TIMES now. At the right-ish time of the month. Without completely freaking out. So proud of self . However, will be a very different story if R2D2 doesn't turn up when expected...eeeeeeekkkkkk

Cosmo have a wonderful holiday, and congrats again on the payout/new job, hurray for you

Off to watch Strictly (did I just say that out loud)

Oh, no. aerie thinks my imaginary ovary illness might be reeeel... . Problem is I am about to go away for 2 weeks so can't go see my GP about this. I guess I should therefore be nicely insane by the time I return. Unless I can just buy some iodine supplements somewhere, or eat a lot of iodised salt if I can find some. (I've checked the cupboard. We only have poncy middle class foodie Maldon sea salt flakes! How tragic is that?)

Lyra, my dear. Yes, I understand. You have done it (gasp!) without protection (gasp!). If you're actually preggers I'll be . But you know, someone has to win a baybee on this thread. It could be you!

Hmmmm... that makes me think. If we get one baybee per thread, why don't we just fill up the threads really quickly?

Like this?

Or this?

oh yeah, one baybee pre thread = one thread per day, no?

So am all packed, sitting G&T in hand, waiting for TGO to finish faffing so we can nip round the corner to the local pizza emporium.

Sees ya all in a week, make sure there is pleny of swiing etc while I'm away!

hello ladeez.well, the day of hell was suitably hellish and continues now on a slow m6. would say more but don't feel partic expressive when using pokey stick on pda. so i'll continue to just enjoy reading. have some service station beers on me

Oy! If there's any updiffing this thread, then it should be me, seeing as I am the hostess of this thread

Fret not Pony I am not medically qualified, but am firmly of the opinion that if summat is going to cause you to worry needlessly, then best get it ruled out so you can find something else to obsess over and annoy your GP with instead

Lyra thanks for you reality check, you sound very wise indeed . I felt the same as you at the end of the first month of SWI, but quickly felt genuine disappointment when R2D2 appeared . Month 2 felt mucho disappointment, particularly after the excitement of a potential implantation bleed. I can guess it's only going to get worst, even though I know the odds of conceiving so swiftly are not high, so I take my hat off to the BESHes who've been doing this for months and months . Fingers crossed that you'll be exception to this first month curse or are you still felling a bit about it?

Scorpette I hear ya sista - no FFJ for me either last 2 months after years of a mid-monthly dripping doodaa. WTF?!? Lyra said that she experienced the same, but her bloods still showed that she ovulated . How did that preseed stuff work out for you? Isn't that supposed to help in that department? What about grapefruit juice? (grasping at straws). Am temping at the moment in the hopes that if not updiffed by January, I can go to my GP armed with charts and stuff to get things moving faster. Also am a geek and like to graph things.

Hello lushes and mad people (ie scorp )

am around,am just spending a bit less time in the palace as I realised that being obsessive about ttc was fucking up my life.I knew nothing of ttc threads when I got pg with mani,and in some ways that was a Good Thing. Also did clooney leave?I miss him.

Although I miss you all lots.if you could just avoid any egg talk for a page or so I could hang about...

Also while I'm here I am just going to shake scorp til her brain rattles... And yell some stuff along the lines of 'chill da fuck out before you drive yerself crazy!!!' by my calculation you have been SWI for...ooo about 3 months now.that Is Not Long.if you wre pg already everyone on this thread would hate you.take some deep breaths and let the poor young fella's appendage recover.

I am cruel,but fair.

Everyone with me now 'salt,tequila,lime,random outburst of violence!'

oh and cunty cunty cuntalicious cuntacles just in case The Maul is around.

Typing atrocious as ever,terribly sorry bout that.am using phone and am ill and tired and all the usual excuses...

Welcome back!

Cheers aerie!