Mid 30s TTC - Simply The BESH... BESHer than all the rest!

[Scorpette]

Come on in, ladies. I've had a widescreen telly installed and there's a big cupboard full of 80s teen movies if anyone's interested. New and more secure cages for our prey are being delivered soon. There's a big picture of a desert over the bar, a loudly ticking clock in the corner and bowls of raisins, currants and sultanas on every table; everything the discerning BESH could ask for...

Ponymum I believe licquorice is the latest DANGER DANGER! food for pregnant wimmin. Apparently it makes your children have ADHD or something - which is a bit odd, because the Dutch believe licquorice is a food group and yet they're very chilled as a "race".

Ponymum To be brutally honest I don't think your temp dip is good... but maybe you stuck your thermometer in the wrong hole?

And to be brutally honest as well, here's what I think: maybe I was/am a teensy bit pg. But I am just about to have an early mc, which would otherwise be mistaken for a slightly late period. I had a theory that this is part of what was happening to me before, but when I queried it with the ex-GP he said "oh I don't think so" and left it at that. So you can understand why I am not excited at the shadowline.

These GPs are fucking awesome aren't they? Half of them haven't heard of a Luteal Phase it seems and the rest don't believe you can have an early-mc/chemical pg. Twats. 5 years of medical school - they're bloody clueless and then they get all uppity if we dare suggest we've read something which says xyz. Did he tell you which hole to put it in? Yes, I totally understand why you're reluctant to get excited about it. Totally. All you can do is wait-see I suppose. If the dip is ominous then you'll start bleeding within 24hrs I suppose... Will you temp again tomorrow?

Poor Pony. The waiting around for your body to work/not work is a total headfuck. FF always says that one temp change in isolation is meaningless, but you probably know your body best.

And poor Scorps too. Did the tide of death ruin your beautiful sheets?

As DH Lawrence wrote: 'babies sd be given to stupid fat old women...'

• OK I think he has a point (and am getting that way myself) but I think doctors also take this view of women who are ttc/pregnant.

Actually, thinking on it, almost all docs are condescending to me, at least. And ill-informed. How is it that they get paid £80k? A while ago, one doc (NHS but in a smart part of London) had me on a particular type of medication (for a boring ailment) for about a year; only to suddenly take me off it since you are not spozed to take it for more than 6 weeks! little wonder they don't know about Luteal Phases and the like. Hurumph. Anyway, I am going to ze doc for my first appmt today. It'll probably turn out to be wind.

Pony - I've got my fingers crossed for you (metaphorically, I'm not really sitting at my desk trying to type with my fingers crossed). Make sure you rest a lot.

ok, where have you all gone?

[looks behind sofa]

Are you all posting somewhere secret and cool I don't know about?

I've got my fingers/hooves crossed for you too, Pony.

Agreeing with everyone that Drs are useless. I have a main illness that causes many subsidiary little health probs and I've diagnosed every single one, including the biggie and had to go to them and force them to test/not be so fucking dim and dismissive and been proven right every single time - even though they clearly think I'm a hypochondriac who spends hours a day poring through medical textbooks, diagnosing myself with prostrate cancer, etc. They all seem so reluctant to DO anything about anything and to look at possibilities outside the most pathetically rigid boundaries. And if you go to them and you know even the slightest bit about the human body, etc., then they think you are a self-diagnosing loon. I had to study huge amounts of medical stuff for my MA diss, despite it being a critical theory topic, so I know a fair bit. A few times, a Dr has said something to me that I know is medically wrong and when I've said summat, they've just treated me like I'm a freak (like a Dr who said NO-ONE under the age of 50 can have a hormone or pituitary condition. Durr).

The main problem is that whilst they have studied anatomy and medicine, etc., and DO know more than us about conditions (most common ones, at least), they DO NOT know what is 'normal' for the individual. We all know what is normal and right for us; like me knowing that my 7 days of braaaahn bits was a freak occurence for me and I have textbook periods. Similarly, Pony can tell there's something Droidy, or, god forbid, MC-ish going on. She knows her body; her Dr does not. For some reason, it annoys Drs when people are very aware of their own workings and symptoms.

GRRRRRRRRRRRR

TCOYF is patronising, but the author does point out that American women had become (still are?) alienated from their natural body signs and so on, so that's why it sometimes slips into 'and that bit is called your FooFoo Hole'. I mean, it's normal for American women to douche regularly, which can't be good for your natural balance (what am I, an advert for Yakult?), so I think there's some cultural assumptions that don't translate well to us Brits. would you say this is fair, Cuntshine? PS Admit it - is your DH Magnum PI? Tache-tastic.

BTW, I coughed so hard earlier that I vommed and have pulled a muscle in my jaw. And coughing makes my cramps worse. Joy!

Wow, that was long. Even for me. Soz, guys!

I'm here, Bessie

Hi Scorpette I thought I was going to be on my own all day.

I laughed at foo foo hole - I might call it that from now on.

Ohscorps - it is maddening. Hope you don't feel too shite. Here, have this nib of sweetcorn, and here?s a dorito to go with it. Spoil yourself.
BTW - those tablets I was on, that was a slight exaggeration, but they only took me off them after I queried them (!) ... as for today, my doc was actually really rather nice (reminded me of that bloke out of Placebo - am obviously getting old). He was very reassuring and said 37 was not in any particular danger zone (newsflash?); that they (he) only really pay concerned attention to over 40s . However, he didn't actually give me any advice (e.g. didn't even check if I was taking folic acid, which surely sd be the no one qu?). I asked him about brahn bits (not precisely Scorps? brown bits, but the BBs I sometime have) said this is just old blood/related to womb growth, mmm. Don?t have any other gems to share, since no gems given...

hello everyone, we seem to have all been a little subdued of late. I had a blast from the past yesterday - my best ever friend evah rolled back in to my life via facebook complete with married-name, 2 angelic looking children and a beautiful house in the country. It's wonderful to hear from her and we've been trying to track her down for years but she had quite an "ordinary" name especially for her home town. We'd written letters to her mum's old house and spammed everyone we could find. I loved her to bits but it made me feel a bit "meh". I need a sharp slap if anyone's dishing them out?

Where the fucking fuckety cunty fuck is extremesitting? If she's left her phone number on fb I'm going to start text-pesting her.

Why has hawaiiancuntycunt gone quiet on us? Has she flown away by way of sewing a pair of buffalo wings on to her t-shirt?

cuntycuntycunt I got an email last night from a travel agent offering a hol to Banff for 399 per poisson including 4* hotel (it's not the best location in town, but it's alright).

Scorpette More brahn news please!

camel I'm sorry to hear that your dildocam under bright lights with a stranger was disappointing - it never seems that way in porn does it? The girls roll up and writhe and squeal under harsh lighting.

Ponymum Have you pissed in a bucket or whatever it is you're doing? Any good news for us?

Jailbait reckons I'm pg this month - he said "you're more fucking bitchy than usual" - to which of course I replied "you're being more fucking stupid and annoying than normal".

Ski, no more braaahn, just all red. Enjoy a nice big slap

Better?
(P.S. I look just like Uma Thurman in RL )

I was a bit of a mess yesterday after the dropped temp / shadowline incident. Then I read that a sudden, severe headache is also an indication of imminent mc. (I had awoken yesterday with a headache so bad I had to take diclofenac and lie in a dark room with a damp cloth over my eyes for half an hour.) So I was pretty convinced it was an early mc for me - if I was even vaguely pg at all, given the faintness of the line.

But PP said go and buy one of the expensive tests, so I did. 5pm last night I peed on it. A big fat obvious positive! I still feel a bit numb and not entirely convinced, but you can't really argue with three positive tests, can you?

And this morning everything is OK. No bleeding and temp is back up where it should be. So I guess I really am updiffed.

I just can't think of anything to say...which is a worry in itself really!

Best mates are having their baby induced today. Phoned her last night,she's bloody terrified poor love.

Anyone want to come round and play today? I'll make mani sing 'twinkle twinkle' and yer ovaries will go into overdrive! (actually why the fuck isn't that working on me then?)

YAY for Pony! Perhaps the weird feelings were just something implanty or 'settling in' stuff. Am so happy for you!

Better get good use out of your Uma suit - you'll not be able to fit in it in a few months

TWO updiffs this thread is what I promised yehs all and 2 updiffs is what we've got! The next hostess has to has the mostess like me too and promise at least two - possibly three

Wooop wooop poneeeeez!!!

I don't do temping to I wouldn't have had that to worry about, just the positive tests...

So pleased for you mate!

I really do look exactly like uma thurman in real life (from the ankle down,we are Giant Ugly Feet Twins!)

2 updiffs so far this thread woooooooooooooooo

champagne cocktail time!

By the way my first post was in response to ski's observation that it's a bit quiet round here, not the updiff news obviously! Crossed posts with poneez

PregnantPonyYay Well done on being in foal! That's fabulous news.

Now, could everyone celebrate quietly, please? I drank an ocean of red wine last night and now I feel a leetle fragile. No, George, I don't want my fevered brow soothed...what's that you say? Will a little bit of naked dancing from you & Brad cheer the place up? Why, certainly. If only because naked men are funny.

PONYEEEEZ OMG well done that's brilliant, brilliant, brilliant news! I'm so bloody chuffed for you! You know I feared the worst yesterday when your temp dropped but I think that goes to show that temping is where madness lies and the truth comes only via spendy piss-sticks! Am I right in remembering you saying this would be your last TTC cycle??

This is just amazing news because as we all know pony is aaaaaaynshunt!

Gosh - 2 in one thread! Dare we go for the hattrick?

We had a hattrick back in June but cuntycunt and I messed it up.

Woo-hoo - well done MrsPony. As well as being delighted for you I think you've made us all feel better about our ancient eggs... I've recently convinced myself that I'm well past it (BOD inspired pessimism) so great to get some good-BESH news... YAY!

Hurray for the ponyslag! Think we are all even more pleased than usual because of your advanced age!!! Gives us HOPE. I am joining Scorps with the cocounts and clip-clopping round the Palace in delight, whinnying as I go

Gosh, you really do make a girl feel good about herself with all this talk of ancientness! But, yep, that has to be a good omen. Can't believe it myself. There was only one more egg chance after this one before even I would have to admit I was too old, so someone up there (down there?) must have decided to smile on me. You young fillies can feel very encouraged.

And I totally agree the hattrick is on. Fertile breezes are wafting through the palace. We have over 100 posts left on the thread so let's do it. Who's oving / 2Woofling?

Ponymum I'm 9DPO.

Ooh, ski, are you symptom-spotting? Apart from the bitchiness, obv...

Pony That was just cruel. And I didn't say anything about your advanced years.