Mid 30's TTC - you're my BESH mate you are..... <hic hic>

[extremesitting]

OOOh - Hope this'll do! Emergency!

wildfig That would be brilliant! I'll try and get it on the RNA shortlist next year.

Morris Not only is there a product called Preseed, but it comes with a terrifying looking syringe to get it to the right bit of your cunt ladyparts. I found it very disturbing and giggled helplessly when trying to use it for the first time.

Ski Symptom-spotting? How many times have you poked your boobs in the last 45 minutes? I have no idea how many times I usually go to the loo, but I'm pretty sure that I subconsciously drink loads more in the 2WOOFL and then consciously add "frequent urination" to my fertility friend chart...

oooh, Ski, do you have some symptoms?

I have been mostly lurking, shy to post now but I have been thinking about you all, wishing updiffedness.

Bessie Billions of 'em. Nausea, fatigue, dizziness, collapsing at the gym, pissing all the time, chronic thirst, backache (could be horseriding though), nosebleed, stabbing pains, crashing pains, cramps, vivid dreams, moodiness, tears, aggression, violent swearing - 2WOOLFing mad this end. I guess I'll find out soon enough as I miscalculated my days and R2D2 is due either thurs or sat depending on my cycle this month. Probably babyfail though - it always is. n.b., no boob pokeage.

crushing, not crashing.

I think I worked out 'shagging with intent' myself (seeks medal for same) but can't fathom 2WOOLF, is obviously summat to do with 2 week wait but what exactly can it mean?

2 weeks of... only licking fudge?

Obsessive lady fingering?

Go on - enlighten a blonde!

Nooo, I've got a good feeling this time, Ski. You've gotta be updiffed, keep me company .

2 weeks of obsessive fuckin' lunacy I think.

Though I was convinced SWI stood for seeing what happens for at least 2 threads

Morris: 2 weeks of obsessive fucking lunacy (copyright ginhag, I believe). Have you figured out R2D2?? That's almost impossible if you haven't read every post of every Gin thread!

Ski, if you're weeing more than once an hour, it's either a baybeeee or cystitis! Seriously, that's a hell of a list of symptoms

WOOFL not WOOLF!

Aha, now that makes sense.

I worked out R2D2 as RTOD ie red tide of doom??

I just think of it as my period but I haven't been around here long!

Refuse point blank to call it Auntie Flo.

I'm now dreaming of fudge .

I've got the most irritating itchy nips I've ever had EVER. Metal Mickey is due shortly and although I will be crying into my gin again, I have decided to fully embrace the 2WOOLF for the next few days.

ski I have peed approx 5 times today, although I have an addiction for green tea (to balance out the gin of course) so I might be clutching at straws.

Shall I put some chill out tunes on?

Right diamond, I can double your pee quota from 7am alone. I've never had boob hurtage but I was sure I was more veiny the other day - this forms part of the madness of course.

Bessie I would love to keep you company I really would.

ski you are diffed. Bets.

WELCOME BACK GIN! The violence quota has been a bit low of late, so I think all of need a good hiding off you

Don't look to me for everyone's Preseed knowledge - I only used the horrible applicator once and if we do use it, I just take the advice of Henry Cooper and splash it on all over. Well, all over our rude bits - don't think I need any behind the ears. Can't see thrush cream being the greatest lube in the world, whether TTC or not, sorry

Have just received my bumper pack of high-sensitivity POK n diff tests off eBay (the TTC-Mentalist's best friend). There will be no escape for my eggy friend, buahaha.

Ski - I have the last 5 of your symptoms permanently, which makes 2WOOFLing even harder to distinguish. Really hope this is your time. Remember, though, that names that suit horses aren't necessarily great for human infants.

VAG et al - don't worry about not getting all the different terms and acronyms, etc.: I only worked out that DPO meant days past ovulation (is that right?) yesterday. DURR!

RunnyLyra - lying on your side does reduce spillage slightly. And having a towel handy to lie on would be sensible. And a big box of tissues. And some old pants to wear.

PS I wouldn't care if Preseed was called 'Neurotic Baby-Craver's Big Dry Vag Sorter' so long as it works

Thanks Scorps - so that's side-towel-tissues-old pants - oh the unbridled romance of it all - swoon

Scorpette I beg to differ, Cosmosis's husband and my horse share the same name.

My tip on dealing with spillage? Combine wiping up spillage with a lesson for men on "next time you should take your dirty washing to the laundry basket". Lessons are learned quickly.

All the ladeeeez who want yer baybeeez - we need a new thread title.

Speaking of which, where the fuck is longwee and my baybeee?

juices wash out though, don't they? - and they are just our juices! Perhaps I have a cavalier attitude to hygiene akin to Scorpy's MIL after all... I just thought it was, well, ok to just leave it....

I hasten to add that our bedding is changed weekly and ironed (this makes all the difference of course).

Welcome back gin and hello new gin drinkers

A squelchy SWI tip: Exchange old pants for his pants - a nice snug pair of boxers will hold it all in, and there's a smug feeling of satisfaction that you're messing his undies rather than your own. I also concur with doing it on his side of the bed and orgasming - or at least doing the manual equivalent by pumping your pelvic muscles to get it right up there.

Today's peeing so far: 3am, 6am, 8am, 9am, 10.30am, noon (looooooong meeting with legs crossed) 3.30pm, 5pm.

My head hurts, I've had a shit day at work and the droid remains awol. First cycle off pill was 35 days, second 29. This is 32 (I think, must go and check on another thread)

Lining up shots of whisky all round. I need it.

POAS CURLY, POAS! And Ski too - for my sanity if not for anything else!

Great tip, by the way, Curly, but TYF is whippet-thin and the legs of some of his pants (trunks) are a bit tight on my thighs of doom (I've tried wearing them before)

VAG - I don't stress about changing the spunky sheets if it's not washing day either, don't worry. And I don't even own an iron. The creases come out fine once hung up for about 48 hours. Or at least that's what I tell myself My Gran would be ashamed - once, I was staying with hers and she offered to wash my pants (white with a black and white stripy waistband). She BOILED them... and they came out all white, no black on the waistband. She's nearly 90, so pant-boiling is clearly the way forward.

I'm slowly but surely outing myself as the slovenly skankho that I am, aren't I? Hygiene-obsessed, maybe, but a slattern in all other ways. Extreme and her dressing gown are but mere pretenders to my grubby crown! I miss Extreme

Ski - you mean Cosmo's husband is called Sir Prance-a-lot? He must get a lot of stick at work!

Scorpette I do own an iron and it's invaluable for waxing my skis and I'm delighted to report that I once lived in a house 3 years before I unpacked it. I am a proud member of WAIF - the Women's Anti-Ironing Federation.

I'm a little saddened though by the fact your grandmother felt your pants NEEDED boiling.

Hung like a ... er horse I heard - that's why Cosmo's interested.

POAS Curly!

My Grandma boils ALL pants, be they mine, hers, whoever's (sadly just her own to boil now). Her mum was uber-cleanliness-obsessed (6 children in pressed, starched linen outfits every single day, etc.) and Gran was in service after leaving school (ie a maid), so she's never known anything but the utmost cleanliness. My Mum is v smug that she has never once had to nag my Dad (Gran's his mum) about washing, hygiene, leaving dirty clothes around or doing household cleaning. Just nag him about everything else, mind, but never for dirtiness.

It's always the skinny ones who are oversized in one particular area. Trust me

Peed on far too many sticks last week! Giving it a rest till the droid shows or I reach day 35. Got a stupidly stressful week ahead anyway without staring at it all down a "there's a baby in my belly" barrel and being on planet mum-to-be (wishful thinking).

Oi, where the hell are you all? Ski, have you poas yet?

hi Bessie - It's Day Of 1000 Meetings for me I'm afraid. I've not POAS because if my cycle is 28 days then I'll get R2D2 on Saturday so I'm actually going to show some restraint and buy a piss-stick on Monday if I need one. All symptoms have gone for now, so I'm loathe to get a faint BFP again and then a "late" period - it's just too heartbreaking.