Mid 30's TTC - you're my BESH mate you are..... <hic hic>

[extremesitting]

OOOh - Hope this'll do! Emergency!

ski Based on cycle days , put it out of your mind and wait 5 days. (Har! Har!)

Discharge... my only (completely amateur) suggestion is that this is normal but you have never paid attention to it before so simply didn't notice it...

Work: Think - What Would Jen Do?

I wish I'd not asked now.

I've never had that so I dunno what it could be. Are you itchy at all? Could it be a touch of thrush (I've never had it, so I dunno)? If there's a chance something has implanted, could it be mucus from a mucus plug forming? I'm clueless for ya

I hate to say it, but when twats in cars endanger me on my bike (or act rashly), 9 times out of 10 it's Mums with kids.

Just read article about newborn baby abandoned in bushes in High Wycombe. I'll 'ave her if no-one else does!

BTW, a little ray of sunshine for my fellow BESHes: read in a mag today that a pregnant teen or young woman is often more likely to have problems with pg and labour, etc and the baby have problems than women 35+, because the younguns are more likely to have crap lifestyles, diets and habits, etc., and not be willing to give up stuff like smoking (and will have equally unhealthy partners) and teen mums do tend to be from poorer families, so their environments aren't great, whereas older women are likely to be fitter, healthier, better-off and more 'settled', have healthier partners and will gladly make lifestyle changes to conceive and then throughout pregnancy, etc. So although being a crone like us lot is a bit more high-risk than updiffing between 20-35, it's actually not as dodgy as being a really young mum. If we updiff, that is

ponymum Jen would make Moos & Roy write her speech for her and she would present "The Internet" in a shoe-box.

Scorpette I've never had cottage-cheese before. V odd. As for easier births at our age it's because we've got ancient foo-foos and we simply uncross our legs and it plops out.

Wrt baby in the bush. We had team-building weekends at uni and the year after mine was a nasty one. They were cleaning up the empty cans etc., etc., when they came across a plastic bag... with a baby inside. Turned out some poor teenager away with school and panicked and dumped it.

Oh yes, and the girl I was riding with today said "oooh 35, you've left it a bit late haven't you"

ski my favourite was when Jen went for a job interview and was asked "You IT experts are amazing. Tell me, what does IT actually stand for? I've always wanted to know."

I bumped into an old neighbour the other day. She said "Oh, we just thought you had decided you didn't want children."

One of my favourites is when Moss goes to deal with the spider and you hear a "Je-en... somehow the spider has managed to position itself between me and the door!" Love it - we like a bit of IT Crowd around here, it reminds me of uni. "Comp-u-ter"

Right well I'm crap and going to bed. I've done no work and I'm cancelling the gym in the morning. Despite my brash exterior I'm actually quite "vulnerable" and I'm missing jailbait terribly.

If someone could kick my head in that would be grand!

I have put on DH's huge steel cap riding boots. KICK!! Feel better?

I've dug out me old DMs from my crusty 90s heyday, just for you, Ski

Last night TSO (the sporty one) and I had sex without contraception for the first time ever*.

It was CD9, so not exactly jackpot time but not impossible either, which means we are officially SWI. Eeeeeeeeekkkkkkkk. Am bricking it. I blame the Gin Palace - I dared myself on here to start in September, and I felt I'd be letting you BESHes down if I didn't.

I've started taking folic acid, when I remember. Do I need to do anything else? Oh yes, quit drinking - I'm in denial about that, still having a glass of wine every day, 2 on the weekend...any tips for stopping??

• The aftermath was absolutely gross, by the way. We have both used condoms all our lives, even though I was also on the pill (paranoid about accidental updiffment), so we were not prepared for the "backflow". It positively POURED all over me, the bed, the dog (no not the dog really). Are we doing it wrong? Is this why you are supposed to lie with your legs up the wall afterwards? But surely women are not sponges, it won't all soak through your cervix, will it??

Oh lord, don't quit drinking! Cut down a bit maybe if you want, but no need to go all drastic about it.

I'm counting down here, last week at work and also am off to Italy on Saturday! yay yay yay.

Mucho formaggio and vino rosso awaits me.

I accidentally stayed up till 3 getting ver ver drunk on Friday night. Saturday was a bit of a struggle.

Lyra Oh yes, we all quite drinking the first month during the 2WW - then the rage which ensues following babyfail will make you reach for the gin quicker that you've ever done so before. There is a world of difference between a cocktail and necking a bottle of scotch before lunch.

Congrats on your mucky sex though!

Congrats Lyra and welcome to the full TTC madness experience! RE: spunky drowning - having an orgasm before/during/after can make all the difference between a light drenching and having to call out the RNLI Also sucks ups more swimmers, apparently.

PS Care to share why you had the dog in the bedroom with you for your 'intimate moment'?

Maybe she's like Kimdeal and it's her fella?

Aha. Well goes without saying I was petrified and in a head spin of ohmygodI'mgoingtogetPREGNANTandhaveahugebumpandhavetosqueeeezeababyoutofmyfannyandmylifewillbeoverfo rever, so no chance of an orgasm for me.

Err the dog, well he sleeps in our bedroom so he's usually around while we're shagging . He's curled up asleep on HIS bed though, it's not like he's awake/watching/trying to join in!

Afternoon ladies. Can I ask a quick q about OPK?

When you get the positive result day, when should you then have sex?

Obviously ideally all day every day of course, but in the real world and with my real DP it's only going to happen maybe 3 times in a 'cluster' so should I do it immediately, or wait a few days, or what?

Example: had positive on saturday. Did it once on saturday night, once on sunday night, DP is now away with work until end of week.

On the OPK it says that the positive result means I will ovulate in next 24 - 48 hours. But are you meant to do it in that time or wait until you have actually ovulated.

Thanking ye kindly.

Yeah, I believe you

Oh Lyra, you FOOL! Being terrified that you'll get pg will guarantee it! What you want to do, to put it off, is be desperate for it - that way it will take forever!

(Trying and failing not to get melodramatic about things in only month 3 of TTC - I am a prat of the highest order )

I have visions of RLR's pooch watching the squelchy gymnastics with confused, sad puppy eyes. And then covering his eyes with his paws because his mummy and daddy are acting very strange indeed!

Morris Friday night. You need to put a bit of effort in luv - even at our advanced age!

MZapp From my vast and extensive dangerously misleading knowledge of POKing it sounds like you sort of did the right thing. I think you are supposed to do it straight away if you can and keep it up for two days. But definitely the sooner the better, and please don't hold back. Just shag shag shag for all you're worth.

You're probably updiffed right now.

Will the window of opportunity still be open on Friday skihorse? Or will I have 'come and gone' in the egg department by then, having been positive on Saturday?

I know I need to make an effort but DP can't keep it up - seriously. Three times in 3 days is too much for him. We tried it last month and it ended in frustration for us both.

We do want to ttc but we just can't do saturation nooky.

afternoon all, sorry this is brief, not had chance to read back yet but i'm still here, lurking slightly and going stupidly insane as impending babyfail expected anytime between now and Friday. Insane because i) i panicked I might actually be up-diffed ii) i panicked I might really been a barren old hag forever and ever iii) i have extremely sore breasticles and am now obsessively knicker checking iv)I am losinghavelost-- my marbles

morris I meant LAST friday - so that the sperm is already well on its journey by the time our ancient ovaries pop one out. You're supposed to actually have sex BEFORE you ovulate - at our age our eggs don't have a very long shelf-life once released. It is my dangerous understanding that OPK are an indicator of your general cycle... so that the next month you will know before you ovulate that you're about to.

3 times a day is not realistic, but 3-4 times a WEEK, every week is better.

aha, thanks friends. I've only been OPK for 2 months now so I don't really 'know' my cycle yet, didn't know I was meant to shag in advance of positive result so to speak.

Obviously sex is lovely and we do it for the pure joy of it (!!), but is there any point doing it every week if you can only conceive in a narrow window of opportunity?

Am 38 so yes, my eggs are scraping along on zimmer frames.

Oooh look, iced tea! From Long Island!

Right then - I am on CD 14 of a 33-49 day cycle and am already 2WOOFLing - could someone kindly smack me about with a haddock? TIA.

Also have decided that admitting 2WOOFLing inthe Palace, while compulsory, must be the Kiss Of Death for diffing. Think about it - how many 2WOOFLs have actually diffed? How many diffs have been BESHs who we haven't heard from in 2 weeks? Hmmm? Hmm?

VAG it's virtually impossible to find haddock these days - how does a tapia fillet suit you?

morris I suppose it depends on how you as a couple generally view sex within your relationship.

I am definitely ready to be a mum - I've just got a new work phone. It plays mp3s, does maps, is synched (at some point in the next millenium) with my outlook, has a little pen and a touch screen and I have no fucking idea whatsoever how to use it. What is more middle-aged than that? My mum still reads each and every instruction at the cashpoint.