Emmsy's onwards and upwards! xxx

[barbie1]

For all of us who have shared so much, tears, hopes, laughter and dreams. May our friendships stay strong and as healthy as we all our.
Here is to our happy ending...we deserve it
Love Barbie x

Caught me!!!
Thanks Barbie you stopped me - I thought I'd get away with it!

How long should I wait do you think? Day 26? Day 28? Day 30? I don't feel pregnant at all. Last time by this point I was dizzy and had altered sense of smell. But then I have a cold so have no sense of smell and sinuses blocked so feel a bit dizzy anyway. But that's a cold right??? Not pregnancy!

MLS I need to borrow your head banging table!

gracie how long is your normal cycle? Mine is 31 days but I still got a faint BFP at 28 days, so if your cycle is 28 you may get a BFP at day 25, I'm no expert but good luck xxx

Last time I had faint bfp at 25 days & I'm about 28 day cycle. I'm on day 25 now & had a bfn this morning. GG If I were you I'd just do it. If it's neg you'll find a reason to justify why it might go pos in a few days! If your af comes then try & adopt my way of thinking - we need a proper af to make a nice cozy nest for our new lo's.

If all else fails just buy a bumper pack of hpt's from ebay & do one every day for 2 weeks & think "who gives a crap they cost about 5p each"!!

BTW I'd lend you my head banging table but it already has a rather large hollow in it!

Thanks Vjay. My normal cycle was 32 (ish)days but before I got pregnant I had 2 cycles of 27 days. From miscarriage to AF was 26 days. My ovulation tests were positive on days 14 and 15 this cycle and I ovulated on day 16. I need to just get a grip and not test till my AF is late but it really isnt easy!! Where is the Gracie who didn't test till day 35 last time and had never used an ovulation kit???

hey ladies, I'm away for ages then back twice in a weekend! A whole weekend at home for once, bliss.

Gracie I guess it depends on how long your cycle normally is? This is going to sound difficult, but ideally I would wait until your period is actually a few days late (yeah right, have to admit I never managed that!). Every negative test result had me in floods of tears, I always thought it would feel better than the waiting but it never did. Maybe we should design some kind of virtual prize for the lady who can wait the longest before testing? A large chocolate roulade perhaps? Or a night out with that fit actor from Spooks, Rupert whatshisname?

Just thinking about how friends who have not had mc are much less sensitive to our feelings. I have deliberately not put anything on facebook because sadly I know several girls who have either had recent mc or have been trying for ages to get pg, and the last thing they need is self-congratulatory (posing as humourous) updates from me about being pregnant. But if I hadn't gone through it myself, I wonder whether I would have been this aware of other people's feelings? Having said that, gracie and barbie I hope I would not have been as bad as the friends you both mention!

MLS is so right with the car crash analogy, but its like with the early testing....step away ladies, step away. I also had to hide my pregnancy books away to stop me looking at pictures of what my LO should have looked like by that stage. Even now, with this LO, I'm too superstitious to read those books...for some reason I can read books on labour and birth, but not on development of LO, it feels too familiar, in a sad way.

On a more positive note, here's a link to stuff about how acupuncture can help with ovulation etc:

www.gettingpregnant.co.uk/acupuncture.html

curly hows the military regime going? Love that you call it that!! We ended up the same. Am afraid gourmet bd went right out the window (also love the gourmet label too...its so apt...how many people really have the time and energy for cooking a gourmet meal on an average week night? But when you make the time its so much better than a functional ready meal)

4ever hope that appointment on Tuesday goes well

Waves to everyone

oops, x posting with vjay and MLS!!

Gracie I guess you should just take whatever path causes the least pain to you, whether that's a test a day to put your mind at rest either way, or locking the little misery sticks in a cupboard and chucking the key down the loo.

MLS sorry to hear about your BFN this morning.

MLS I think you're probably right I should just do it, but I'll wait till morning with concentrated urine else I'll just think dilute urine is another reason it didn't work.

I have 10 BabyMad tests plus one cheapy wilko's one from when I testing for a negative after my MC, and one posh digital Clear Blue one from a pack of two when I didn't believe my BFP last time and just needed to check!!

Yes you're right MLS if our AF comes we can think of reasons why we didn't want to be pregnant this month anyway (honest!)

GG I think drinking white wine is beneficial for concentrating urine pre hpt!

You should deffo save the posh one for when you get a + on your other ones... that is exactly what I did last time!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR MERMAID, HAAAAAAAAAAAAPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU. Hope you are having a wonderful day

Barbie you're so not a bitch honey. I'm sure she didn't mean to be condescending. I think Scamper is right, no one can know what this is like unless they've been through it themselves. And it can be very hard to express things right in an email. Sometimes I even worry I'm saying the wrong thing on here, and that's among you girls!!! Anyway, just remember you are lovely and give it a bit of time before you talk to your friend again. If you want to hear really bitchy then I have to confess a certain part of me (just for a second) thought that she kinda deserved it when I heard that my friend who "wasn't really sure about being pregnant" and didn't even realise for three months that she was, had a difficult birth. How mean am I, eh? Honestly, I wouldn't wish a bad labour on anyone, especially not a friend. Hoping you are feeling most unbitchy in comparision now Barbie As for graciegirl your friend is certifiable

I've spent most of the weekend feeling all tired and emotional with DH's family in Wales. They all have kids, and one of them in particular I kept stealing hugs from and just wishing she was mine It's strange, less than a year ago we were walking down the aisle with everything ahead of us and now suddenly I feel like we're the childless couple that everyone feels sorry for. The worst thing was, we hired out this big house and we got the room that had a little cot room off it, and of course that set me off

Anyway we're back in London now so no more tears. Have work to worry about tomorrow instead

Jools it's great to see you back and even better news about your bd'ing. You go for it girl. Sorry about your friend At least she has you who can understand what she's going through.

Hello dear scamper, I can't believe how far gone you are, the scan sounds fab. Did you get it in Lewisham? The military regime failed miserably I'm afraid. Unless the Golden Shot has done the trick on day 15 then I won't be having a Christmas baby BUT in the meantime, I'm going to enjoy the odd glass of wine or two and have faith that it will happen soon

MLS, gracie and Gingermumi I have fingers, toes, legs and everything crossed for you getting BFPs. I know it is impossible, I am weak and I always do it but try not to test too early. I think I cannot bear getting a negative result any more so I'm determined to not do any until AF is late. We are going to have good news this month, so hang in there girls

Sorry I am not more cheerful tonight. I'll be much happier when we get more good news in our lovely cave

Happy Birthday Mermaid - hope you had a fab day filled with food and drink . What a lovely DS you have too, had a wee lump in my throat reading about him on his guitar .

Just spent half an hour catching up as I've been away all weekend (breaking in the new volvo ).

Scamper - lovely to hear from you and you bean is doing well! Soo agree with some of your comments "self congratulatory comments, disguised as humorous" - facebook is soo full of that, it really anoys me sometimes... Also agree with reading pg books about lo developments stage, - I've practically buried my old Marian Stoppard one as I can't face having to stop at the 'this is what you baby is like up to 8 weeks' page again . Loving the acupuncture affirmation, I'm off for my 2nd sesh on Wed. and I should be ov then..

barbie and Gracie at your friend's news especially your friend Gracie who blatently lied to you - I want to ring her bloody neck!!! barbie - glad you deleted the email and that you are going to look into acupuncture x

Welcome MLS - hope TEW stays away but we're here for you, holding hands and look forward in our quest to ttc a 'take home' baby

Hey jools - those hipster jeans must have done the trick happy bd and fingers crossed you hit gold!

Vjay - soo lovely to hear you heard a hb with your new shiny doppler .

4ever - you are a girl with a PLAN! Hope all goes well on Tues.

Curly sorry to hear you've been this weekend and your military operation failed (or did it ....). Agree with early testing, would rather have AF turn up than BFN stare back at me..

Better go as I'm knackered and need to reacquaint (sp?} myself with the couch.

esp. MM and Mollie xxx

You girls so can talk!! I have come back a few times in the last week, but haven't posted, just spent all my time catching up on your news.

Firstly HAPPY BIRTHDAY mermaid - hope it is blessed with many fine bottles of wine.

Just have to send a big hug barbie's way - you sound so lovely and bubbly in your posts I just can't imagine you stressed, but it does sound as if you have had quite a year so I think the other girls are right that itmight be holding you back a little - just your body's way of making sure things happen at the right time. I also have heard some great things about acupuncture, give it a go if you can.

VJay it was so nice to hear you got good results from the doppler. I have a hearbeat monitor, but it is one of those passive ones that only work after about 20 weeks (hasn't stopped me trying though!). If I had a doppler I'd be using it every night.

4ever, glad to hear you have something to focus on and move forward with - keep testing though - there are always stories of BFPs just after being referred for further treatment.

Just need to wave to scamper and sabs too, keep cherishing those precious bumps.

Part of the reason I haven't been posting much is that I've been a bit down lately - last Tuesday the hospital phoned with the results of the combined (nuchal & bloods) test, saying that I'd come out in the 'high-risk' category for Down's Syndrome. We've been struggling to come to terms with this since, especially as the nuchal scan initial results pointed to everything normal, just my beta-HCG is a bit high. Thing is the quoted risk is 1:230, which is only margianlly higher than their cut-off of 1:250. They have offered us CVS or amnio, but the miscarriage rates quoted are 1:50 and 1:100 respectively, far outweighing the actual riask of abnormalities. We've declined the CVS but are still considering the amnio as we have a few weeks to decide. Also thinking about paying for further screening blood tests e.g. the quadruple, or having an anomaly scan as early as possible and seeing if that throws up any more markers.

We are really torn between finding out for sure and not being able to face the possibility that a diagnostic test could loose us a perfect baby. I have been a little reassured from reading other threads on here where ladies with much higher risk factors than mine (even 1:2 on one occasion) had CVSs and went on to have perfect babies. Also I don't know if I could terminate even if we did know, after all Down's is just one thing they screen for, there are many other things that a baby/infant/child can be inflicted (is that the right word?) with that we would just carry on and make life work with.

Sorry, feel like I am rambling now - there things are just whirling around in my head. Following the m/c I knew that another pregnancy wouldn't be easy - but there is absolutely not a moments ease

On a lighter note - how do you like the name - first time I've ever namechanged too, seems like a good plan though - and I deserve the name at the moment, although none of it is baby yet .

Hello Blue hope the acupuncture goes well on Wed... and the bd'ing. I'm seriously considering giving it a go myself - I mean the acupuncture bit!! Well both actually

Lion love the new name. Sorry to hear your news as I know it must be a worry They are very small odds so have high hopes for you honey. I've often considered what we would do if we got a similar result and concluded that as I wouldn't be willing to have an abortion unless the child was going to have a horrible quality of life, then I wouldn't take the risk of doing the tests. On the other hand, the stress of not knowing might do the baby harm also. Anyway it has to be your decision, I don't think anyone can stand in your shoes and know what's best except for you. Try and keep it in your head that it is VERY VERY unlikely that there are any problems. Thinking of you hon xxx

lionstar returning the hugs for you now hun....i really havent a clue what to say, im the kind of girl who buries her hand in the sand until i have to face something, so havent really explored the whole results thing that you are struggling with at the moment. I remember reading in the mail a few days back a lady who like yourself was given the same test results, although she had a higher chance. She said it was the worse time but decided what would be would be....now she has a healthy, beautiful little boy. She said all through the many scans, test etc the doctors almost told her that 100% something would be wrong. However it was them that was wrong and the poor women could of lost her healthy baby because of them. Only you know what to do but we are here for you.

Please everyone write anything on here, nothing is taboo..as with any thread we will have sad times and happy times, it doesnt matter which as long as we are there for each other. I for one want to hear about what its like to be pregnant, i want to hear you moan about morning sickness and your pants getting too tight
curley never think you are posting the wrong thing! every thing goes, gosh just look at all my ramblings!

gracie caught you just in time yesterday! i have a v. v. light positive 6 days after ovulating last time, which was very early indeed! im sure you will test this morning regardless so let us know how you get on!

Also curley i got married last year in may, and i remember waking up in the morning of the wedding thinking i have so much to look forward too, especially the baby thing! i convinced myself that in 9 months i would have a shiny new baby to admire i now really like everyone expects me to have a baby because im married, for godsakes even wayne and colleen are having a baby and they got married after me! (you see i realyl do thingk a lot of crap at times! )

Morning all! Hope you had a good weekend girls and hope you had a relaxed and pampered birthday with lots of wine mermaid!

Barbie - didnt know wayne & Coleen were PG, . Everytime I hear of PG celebs I'm very too!

Can so relate as well to what Curly said about being newlyweds with the world ahead of us, got my first bfp after honeymoon too, now we are coming up to 2nd anniversary in July and again like Curly said, feel like the 'childless couple everyone feels sorry for'.. In fact, that 1st baby would of been having its 1st birthday on 13th April so thats a bit hard..

Think thats why my heart went out to barbie reading your post about PG friend, know how hard it is, & have been feeling bad about it too with one friend in particular, who I was 2 weeks apart from with my last one. I told her about 'bump envy' the other day and she said it sounded psychotic (thanks make me feel mad too!) been thinking since will have to tell my her, I dont begrudge her, its just a horrible thump in the face reminder of what should be for me, and I think that sums it up everytime we're confronted with bumps & PG announcements - a feeling of 'that should be me', getting angry and wanting to scream at the world how unfair it is.

Im sitting here at work next to a 5 month PG colleague, my ex manager told me she is 1 day off my edd, another girl is near 5 months & just found out theres another one as well! Talk about in my face! So, barbie that was a very long way of saying you are sooooooooo normal!

Gracie cant believe your pyscho friend, sounds like a pathological liar!

Also want to send a heartfelt hug to lionstar - my 3rd mc had massive nuchal fold which was told could of been downs or one of the trisomys. Was put under fetal meds & had 2ww for more tests, sadly the decision was taken out of our hands at 13 weeks, but we were ready to take on however our baby came out & so scared to do amnio cos of mc risk. Its only you can make the choices but Ill pray for you & have also heard lots of stories where they spot a risk then baby is absolutley fine..

Wow - this is a bit heavy for a monday morn post! Thought Id catch up tho!

Had a slobbed out w-end of much needed recharging with DH! Fab! Did another neg BFN last night but glad really cos means we can get these tests done tomorrow! Am quite excited and nervous all in one. Only concern is that 1st secretary said bloods done tues morn & appt given is 1.45pm so am just waiting to hear can def do bloods at that time otherwise will have to go there for 9am & join rush hour commuters - yea!

whooooo hoooooo yesterday i had some niggly pain so i did a ovualtion test and there was a really faint line which means its negative, anyhows did another just now as i was tidying and found one last one and it came back positive!!! omg i think my body might be working the doctor did say there where follicles so hopefully.....it will be 12 days since my last spotting...so im guessing that the spotting is in fact my periods after all? what do you think??/ how many days after af do you normally ovualate?

barbie I think the average is 14 days, but it really depends on your cycle (some people can ovulate during their period!). A positive test sounds brilliant though, sounds like your body is adjusting to your new environment - it must approve of the swimming in the sea!

curly, 4ever (and barbie) thanks for your kind words too, it feels beeter just to put it out there in black and white on the page.

4ever, sorry to hear it was another bfn, but as you say full steam ahead on the tests, wishing you all the best for tomorrow (and not too early a start)

hey barbie great news, I think your body is back to normal, I'm so excited for you. Af should be about 14 days after ov, so grab dh, tell your mum to go for a long walk and get going girl

lion my SIL went through this a few months ago, she had just had a mc then was pg again and had a high risk result like you. She had a really long chat with her mw who her told her that she would have a better chance of winning the lottery than having a baby with a problem, it didn't stop her worrying but she avoided any further tests and now has a healthy 4 week old little girl. I do wish you all the luck xxxxx

What's everyone up to today, it's Easter hols up here so me and ds are off to a soft play date this afternoon, it's for children like ds with autism, and it's the first time we've been, so really looking forward to it and meeting other parents.

vjay have fun this afternoon, your ds will love every minute of it, i bet he sleeps well tonight after all the fun he is going to have

as for me? well i think i might convince my mum to take the dog for a walk when dh gets in! best i go and shanve me legs and prepare

shave

Lol barbie you go for it

Yea barbies ovulating!!! (Thats a comment I didnt think Id be excitedly making a couple of years ago!) Very pleased for you tho hon, see looks like you may just be blessed with v light periods! I'll gladly swap ya my superheavy painful AF! Go shave them legs & get BD!

Vjay I hope you have fun at your lovely ds playdate, sounds a great opportunity to meet other parents too, you know the amazing bond made with people in similar situations to yourself(!) so hopefully you can make some friends for life there (RL too!)

Sooo lovely nurse called me back & our appt is now 9.30am tomorrow! Really cant wait - just feels like a Eureka lightbulb switching on moment reading about this stuff. Please let me have LIT! Was gonna make a day of it & have an early dinner in town somewhere afterwards but as its 9.30am now it will be more of a brunch & a wander round! I've got butterflies!

phew! you lot have been busy - thank you all for your birthday wishes, had a lovely day filled with sunshine and family and I feel very spoilt.
lion You are in a place where only you and your dh can decide what to do. I find it a little emotive as a close friend has a little girl with downes. when she was born people asked in horror why she hadn't had the tests, it was awful cos this lovely little girl was looking up at them as they said these things, alive, well and healthy. It is a very hard decision to deal with, sending all my thoughts and love to you all.x
Barbie fingers crossed that your mother is still out walking the dog
curly Your time will come - we had better start the battle plan for the coming month and I think we had better book up that accupuncture very soon.
blue I am glad you had a good weekend away with the volvo. I have now heard happy birthday on the guitar about 40 times, its especially good at 6 in the morning!
scamper lovely to hear from you and that everything is peachy. Thank you for the link I am definatley going to go.
gracie I made myself walk out of the chemist this morning empty handed. I think I may be developing a testing addiction. I will keep my fingers crossed for you.x
4ever hope you are ok today, 1 sleep and then your tests. I am so hoping that this is the key for you.
I dont get how unemphatic (sp?) some women can be what did your friend mean psychotic? It makes you see where curly is coming from with the friend who had the hard labour.

Morning all! (actually afternoon but I work shifts so it doesn't really matter!).

Lion I'm sorry you have difficult decisions to make. I don't know what to suggest. Just keep telling us all about it and hopefully that will help.

I'm pleased its not just me who thinks my friend (ex friend) is odd. I would have forgiven all if she'd have just sent a quick email saying she had felt nervous about telling me she was pregnant, there was no need to lie and make me feel sorry for her.

Barbie really pleased you've got a positive ovulation test. So your probably going to ovulate tomorrow or the day after. So now its BD'ing 3 days in a row, miss a day then one last try isn't it?! (from the "Deanna Plan").

Vjay Have fun this afternoon with DS.

Just done a pregnancy test its BFN. Its only day 24 so plenty of hope yet I guess. I'm at work for 13 hour shifts the next two days so i won't have time to think about or do any more tests till my day off on Thursday which is much more respectable at day 27!