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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Emmsy's onwards and upwards! xxx

1002 replies

barbie1 · 15/02/2009 14:49

For all of us who have shared so much, tears, hopes, laughter and dreams. May our friendships stay strong and as healthy as we all our.
Here is to our happy ending...we deserve it
Love Barbie x

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barbie1 · 28/03/2009 09:01

im trying to skim through so i dont miss to much but its hard trying to entertain my mum and dh! so sorry if i dont reply to each of you....

Can you please help me girls, i think im turing into a resentful, spitful bitch a really good friend of mine (the same one who flew from ireland to be with me when i mc) emailed yesterday to say she is 13 weeks pregnant. I remember speaking to her a the tme of the mc saying not too leave children too late as you never know what happen, so was adament that she didnt want children for years, spoke to her at xmas and she still was saying the same. However she must of change her mind because now she is having a baby. The reason im a spitful bitch is that i cried for hours and was in a terrible mood all day, my mum was so worried as i was stamping around screaming that i hate my body, sobbing and angry...i feel that ive been put back at least 6 months and i thought i had come so far what is happening to me??? she has emailed me again saying that she hopes i can get sorted out and get myself pregnant soon as its so nice, also she cant beleive how easy it was to fall, how she is having a perfect pregnancy and how there are 5 of them who have all fallen in the last 3 months i have reread the email so many times, and i feel its really patronising,(everyone else says its not) dh is worried about me so is my mum....
So am i a bitch? no need to be gentle with me, i need a huge kick up the ass!

mermaid happy birthday gorgeous lady! i think ill have a slice of cake and a glass of wine tomorrow to celebrate with you!

mls glad you have found your way over here, its nice to see you again, stick around we have so much fun!!

blue good luck with the hospital on tues, let us know how you get on.

Right have to go, we are surprising mum and taking her to the cirque de soleil as a late mothers day treat, ill be back later to finish off....

Thankyou soooo much for being there for me, i dont know what i would do without you all, love you lots!!!!

OP posts:
VJaybigpants · 28/03/2009 09:10

Don't know if I'm the right person to answer, but no you're not being a bitch, just true to your feelings. My step sisters pregnancy has been the hardest for me, she was only 2 weeks ahead of me and told me she was pg on the day I started to miscarry. Still find it hard now at times, even though I'm pg!
Delete the email so you stop rereading it, you are just torturing yourself, try not to dwell on it for a while and in a few weeks it won't seem so bad. What helped me get through other peoples pgs is I thought, let them live their lives and I will live mine, it has helped. You will have yours soon enough, and remember it's not their fault, nor is it yours, but it is so hard to handle I know. Please don't beat yourself up barbie, it will happen to you soon enough.
Keep smiling,

mermaidspurse · 28/03/2009 09:16

barbie just a quicky cos I got to clean up all these wine bottles
This is real important - you are not a resentful spitful anything - you are a very normal, caring, still grieving young woman. Especially stark for you right now with your body all out of sync.
We are all coming up to EDDs and it is a very fragile time. I feel like I see hidden patronising comments all the time too, we are not mad just made of porcelain.
This thread is so important, aint giving you no kick up the arse, just a mid morning cocktail and a big hug.x

mermaidspurse · 28/03/2009 09:21

morning vjaybiggerpants snap on the I will just tell you I'm up the duff as you lay there mc story... it is the hardest one for me too. I look at the little 2 year old and still feel as per barbies post and I don't know if it will ever go away completely, isn't that an awful admission

VJaybigpants · 28/03/2009 09:26

mermaid It's good to be honest I think, but I can only be really honest on here, again why this thread is so important. When I've let it out on here I've always felt so much better, so LET IT ALL OUT GIRLIES, RANT AWAY, it's only normal after all. Plus barbie tell you mum and dh not to worry, you are being totally normal, it's how I would and did react in the past xxx

mermaidspurse · 28/03/2009 09:30

so there you have it barbie we are all officially normal ok?
vjay have a good weekend, lots of rest and doppler gazing!

VJaybigpants · 28/03/2009 09:37

Thanks mermaid you too have a good weekend and birthday, will it involve much wine?

Joolsiam · 28/03/2009 11:26

Gawd you ladies can talk

Loving the big and little pants ! Curly - must have just missed you as I'm just back from a couple of days working in Wales

MLS - I can sympathise with the symptom spotting and banging head on table.

Barbie - it is just a blip and you will bounce back even stronger.

Well, we managed our first BD last night since JANUARY !! and (whispers) I think I am ovulating now, so fingers, toes and everything else crossed.

Bit sad today - have just heard a fellow TTC'er MC'ed at 12 weeks - so sad for her and it brought it all back

Happy weekend to everyone else !

MummyLovesSadie · 28/03/2009 12:23

Barbie you are not a bitch we all know exactly how you feel. Every time someone I know gets pregnant it feels like a kick in the guts, a real, physical pain. The kind of pain that makes you want to howl & beat your fists against the wall. Vjay is right - delete the email... be kind to yourself.

I have to say though the email does sound a little patronising. OF COURSE you want to sort yourself out & get pregnant & be able to enjoy it like she obviously is, you really don't need her telling you that. You are probably thinking "how dare you be pregnant when you know that is the thing I want more than anything in the world", I don't know what to say because I think I would react exactly the same way as you!!

I don't know what time it is in Dubai right now but I think you should have a very large glass of wine!

GracieGirl · 28/03/2009 16:35

Barbie I'm going to tell you a story of something that happened with me but I wasn't feeling as honest as you are now so i didn't rant about it on here.

I have a university housemate who I lived with for two years around 8 years ago. She's moved to AuStralia so we've lost touch really and just email a couple of times a year and hear about each other through a mutual friend. We became friends on Facebook and every now and again we'll have a long natter on there if we're both online at the same time. Anyway we are both going to be bridesmaids for our mutual friend next year. About 2 weeks after my ERPC we ended up chatting for hours. I told her all about my MMC and she said she'd been TTC for 6 months with no joy. Her multi millionaire father was paying for weekly scans to establish her cycle and said she'd had lots of tests and scans over past few months, and hadn't ovulated in 3 months. I felt really sorry for her and even let her get away with using that line to me (where i normally want to throw bricks!) "At least YOU know you can actually get pregnant!" I came away from the conversation almost feeling guilty and feeling bad that her situation was worse than mine.

2 weeks later she announced on Facebook that she was 15 weeks pregnant!!! I physically felt pain reading that line. She'd completely tricked me and hadn't ever had infertility problems at all and had in fact been safely past the 12 week mark during our conversation having had weekly scans and had no complications at all. I do understand that maybe she felt bad telling me she was pregnant when I had just told her I was miscarrying, but then she should have just stayed off the subject. She was moving house and had plenty of other things to discuss. There was no need to formulate a whole list of lies. I had felt really sorry for her when she'd said she not ovulated in months, Of course she hadn't ovulated the silly cow was pregnant and knew it!

I'd like to think if I was her I'd have sent me an email to announce the pregnancy rather than letting me read it 2 weeks later on Facebook. She's even due the same week I was.

So I'm a bitch too, I haven't said congratulations, I just can't.

MummyLovesSadie · 28/03/2009 20:10

OMG GG what is wrong with your friend?? It sounds like she either started with a little white lie which snowballed out of control or she has serious psychological issues.

Is she still your Facebook friend or have you deleted her? My two good friends that are pregnant are also Facebook friends of mine & they are always updating their status's with baby news & having baby scans as profile pics. I read their news & look at their scans with the same kind of morbid fascination people reserve for gawping at car crashes! I don't want to look but can't help myself even though I know it will make my stomach churn.

Its a real shame you have to see her again next year at the wedding. Who knows, maybe by then you will have a twin dangling off of each satin encased boob!

GracieGirl · 28/03/2009 20:26

MLS I can't work it out either and have decided not to try. I've kept her as a friend on facebook as I don't want to cause extra trouble for next years wedding, but have adjusted my settings so I don't get her comments on my news page.

Like you say if I get a move on by next year I can attend the wedding with my baby twins and maybe even healthily pregnant with my next!!! And I can sit there tutting and giving disapproving looks as her millionaire spoilt toddler runs around wrecking the place!!

Thanks MLS.

scamperbigpants · 29/03/2009 02:36

Happy birthday mermaid!!! Hope you have a lovely day today with lots of yummy food and wine

Sorry I have been away ladies....its taken a couple of hours to read all the posts and catch up with you, so I know I've been gone a while! Your posts have made me laugh and cry, as usual...I was reading some earlier, manically laughing one minute then tears the next, DH knew immediately I was on mumsnet.

sabs and lion I was thrilled to read about your scans, my heart was in my mouth as I read through the posts, and had to skim on a bit to work out you were both ok before going back to read in more detail! Vjay so pleased for you too, and am tempted to get a doppler now.

I had a massive panic around 14 weeks when my pregnancy symptoms just disappeared overnight. Of course that is that happens when your hormones change around week 14, but I panicked anyway and ended up getting a scan done privately to stop me going completely mad....all was fine, LO kind of jumping up and down and waving, as if to say 'silly mum, I'm fine in here.' 20 week scan is on 6th May, which seems a long way off, hence the doppler temptation.

Lots of you seem to be having or considering acupuncture...I think I've said before, it really really helped me. I believe it helped me to get pregnant and I also believe it helped me not to miscarry.

barbie I reckon acupuncture would be especially good for getting your periods back. My friend had PCOS which meant she was only getting around 4 periods a year, and she says acupuncture got her back to a 30 day cycle. I think if you google it, there is some info about how it is just as effective as taking fertility drugs. It might be the boost your body needs to get back on track. About that email from your friend....every pg announcement is a kick in the teeth and you are not being a bitch at all. I can remember a good friend calling me when my folks were staying with us just before xmas to tell me she was pg, I did the whole 'oh wow I'm so pleased for you blah blah blah' then had a massive strop in front of mum and dad, with me shouting 'the whole world is f*cking pregnant apart from me' and other phrases which will be familiar to you all. In fact, a few nights later, one of our neighbours came round because I was screaming and shouting so much at 1 in the morning, and punching the wall as well, I think he thought DH was trying to murder me, all very embarrassing. I was just so sad and angry not to be pregnant and I hated and blamed my body too. Its HARD and there's no getting away from that, but the ironic thing is, I was probably already pregnant at the time I was punching the wall. Your body will start ovulating and you will get pregnant again hon, just hang in there, you HAVE come so far but we all have times of despair, don't give up.

Actually, that goes for all of you...I felt sad and frustrated for you all, reading about the negative test results. Having been away, and reading all your posts, the heart ache and the humour jumps off the screen and I wish we all really could be in a nice pub somewhere together, ideally with sunshine and a beer garden.

More individual messages tomorrow, bed is calling me now xxx

barbie1 · 29/03/2009 06:47

mermaid happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday lovely mermaid, happy birthday to youuuuuuuu!! sang in a slightly croaky and wobbly voice!

Im so sorry and about my last email, ive been thinking about it al night I never mean to turn this thread into all me me me
Thankyou all for being so understanding, i dont deserve such nice friends!
So i did what you all suggested and deleted the message (after i sent her the normal congrats one, written through gritted teeth!) however dh then opens his email and there was one from her dh saying about their great news and how they have already changed the car for the new baby etc etc...2 steps forward and one step back.

gracie omg at your so called friend!!! whay do we surround ourselves by complete ejjits? silly, nasty, toxic friend if i do say so myself I too do the whole car crash thing....i just cant help myself, i have to ask the questions that know will breal my heart, i have to look through all the pictures even though it make me sad and sometimes and i feel the need to talk constantly about the baby, theirs and mine....

scamper lovely to see you again, i cant believe how far on you are now

The things is if any of you got pregnant i would honestly be over the moon, and not resentful at all (so dont be scared to say you are as im not going to hunt you down!) in a weird way i think we deserve to be pregnant after what we have all be through {blush} which of course means everyone else doesnt deserve it
I cant explain it, but i want to hear about all your pregnancy stories, just not everyone elses!
So come on all you bigpants ladies tell us what in store for us.....

I have talked with mum and dh and i guess what im worried about and so is the fact that i can get pregnant as soon as my body relaxes, but its scaring me how i cant relax....its all i think about, read about, hear about. Sitting on the beach is great but even then i close my eyes and will my brain to relax, which of course makes me think about whay its not relaxing which in turn has the opposite effect....doh!
Acupunture seems to popping up more and more here so im going to book a few sessions as soon as i can

Well ladies thanks for reading and listening yet again im ready to return to happybarbie now ....

OP posts:
VJaybigpants · 29/03/2009 08:32

Hi scamperbigpants good to 'see' you, my 22 week scan is on 25th April, so a long wait for me too, 4 weeks I think.

barbie we are all allowed some me me time so don't apologise. mls described it so well, the car crash thing. If our friends didn't tell us they were pg we would be even more upset wouldn't we, hard though it is to hear.

gracie I was thinking about your friend last night, I can't believe she lied so much to you, fair enough not wanting to tell you just yet, but she could have just avoided the subject like you said, instead of telling such lies!

Well after the lovely weather last week we had snow yesterday !!!!!!! What is that all about! I so want to be in Dubai right now having a bath in the sea

Happy Sunday everyone and happy birthday mermaid xxx

barbie1 · 29/03/2009 09:13

vjy no bath in the sea for us, can you believe it, there were hailstones in dubai on thursday and we have had 2 nights of really really bad thunder storms! today is rubbish too, i quite like it but more poor mum is in i think she thinks that as soon as you are abroad the weather is always good

OP posts:
VJaybigpants · 29/03/2009 09:34

I think we all think like that, I know I do Your poor mum will be gutted if she goes home with no tan.

gingermumi · 29/03/2009 11:44

4ever- that was cool to get appt so quick, remember when i was starting infertility rounds I found out day before consultants app that i was pg with ds! Good luck with test tomorrow!

hello mls, whe are you going to test ? liek you I keep symptom spotting (and trying not too), am due monday did a test last week but BFN but will do another today/tomorrow.

gingermumi · 29/03/2009 11:51

Barbie am with the others delete the email and foregt her! (difficult i know but you must look after yourself).

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MERMAID

Joolsiam · 29/03/2009 12:28

Have a fabulous day Mermaid

I hope you are being royally spoilt

MummyLovesSadie · 29/03/2009 13:11

Ginger I'm due around Wednesday, did a test this morning bfn! Why can't we just bloody wait until af is late to test????

Really don't think I'm pregnant, still having a bit of spotting since about 4 days ago. I won't be to disappointed (honest!) if I'm not as I've only had a three day af since mc 6 weeks ago so maybe my body needs to have a proper, full-on, painful af before I conceive.

GracieGirl · 29/03/2009 13:13

Happy birthday Mermaid!!

gingermumi · 29/03/2009 13:51

MLS it is such a torture and we do it to ourselves, crazy isn't it! Hope what ever you want happens (BFP/AF). Take care.

GracieGirl · 29/03/2009 15:18

Aaaaarrrrgggghhhhh!!! I'm on day 23 and I can't take this willpower thing anymore!! I need to do a test!

barbie1 · 29/03/2009 16:25

STEP AWAY FROM THE TEST gracie!!!!!!!!

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