TTC #4 - the noisy slightly unhinged section!

[Katonahottinroof]

Guys we need a new group! Wouldn't let me post in old one.

MrsDis I recognise him but can't for the life of me think of his name.

Someone spill!

Hiya
Just got my blood results back (already! the nurse was amazing and tracked them down as she's as mystified as me).
So on Monday HCG was 142 - might have remembered it wrong before. Today it was 121 so it's dropped BUT they would expect it to drop pretty rapidly and are concerned as to what's going on. I have to now go back on Saturday and get them done again. She said they might want to keep me in if they haven't dropped much as it may be ectopic.

She also said that if it's ectopic it's obviously not that big as the levels are so low but it would still need management.

So I'm not having a viable pregnancy which I'm actually pleased about - with the spotting and stuff I had a bad feeling about it and I'd much rather start again with a normal cycle.. I may have thought differently if I didn't conceive so easily (have cursed it now ).

On a positive note, I'm off for cocktails and a lovely meal with the girls tomorrow night and I feel happy that I can have a few drinks without feeling guilty.

BB haven't got a clue what to do with the kids next week but DH is off all week so we can all get cabin fever together

Girls are both at dancing and I've been told I have to have my case study in by tomorrow so best get on! xxxx

Kat - at least you are getting some answers now, and that the levels are at least dropping. Good that you can go for a boozy night without feeling guilty too. Hope you are busy getting that case study done and not reading this message before you have finished

As for fb friends here - sorry to disappoint, I only have one terrible picture posted, so you won't get any nice kiddy pics from my fb page yet.

Kat, glad you've got a helpful nurse on-side and that they are continuing to investigate. Really hope you get to the bottom of it soon. Also brill that you've got a girls' night out to look forward to and take your mind of it!

Am feeling fb-left out, yet really, really can't join as have no RL friends on fb and would just feel sad all on my own! Also need to maintain some anonymity

Twig - facebook envy is a terrible thing I bet if you actually went on you'd find loads of ppl you know on there. I have 'friends' from school, uni, old workplaces etc... it's really cool for catching up on old friends. Also you can ex-boyfriend facebook stalk... it's great fun

And no rainbow... case study not done yet - can't get started til the kids are in bed and the older darlings are up until 9 and 10

xx

Well... got home from work to find message from doc. When I called, she said my nuchal test came up pos for Downs. Needless to say, I am a mess! Dh and I go see her tomorrow to further discuss results and what to do next. I never did the testing for the others, but since I am now over 35, doc thought it best. I can't tell you how hard its been trying not to cry in fron of the kids. Ignorance really is bliss! Whats worse, is DH doesn't want me mentioning any of this to anyone in RL, so I get to suffer alone right now... sigh...

OMG Blue! I can't even begin to imagine how you are feeling right now. Remember the nuchal fold is just a risk assessment and your baby may not be affected at all.
I want to give you a big hug (((((Babyblue)))))
I hope you get some answers tomorrow and FGS don't suffer alone, come on here and shout and scream, it's been a Godsend for me.

As for not crying in front of the kids, it's so hard isn't it... with the m/cs all I wanted to do was lie in a dark room and feel sad but with the kids around you feel like you have to smile and be 'normal Mummy'.

Let us know how you get on babe when you get the chance. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.

Love and hugs
xxxx

Oh Babyblue, what a worry - you poor, poor thing. What Kat says is very true, there are plenty of stories of suspected difficulties, that turn out to be completely fine when a diagnostic test is done, or when the little one is born. So, so sorry you're having to go through this and please do come on here and tell us how you are feeling. (((((Babyblue)))))

babyblue - so sorry to hear that you have the stress that you don't need right now. Also as the others have said firstly we are here for you, talk to us as much as you need. Secondly, the nuchal test is a screening, it does not mean that the baby definitely has downs. My mum was put under enormous pressure when she was pg at age 40 to abort a baby due to it showing all the signs of having downs or some other disability, especially as she already had three healthy teenage children. But she resisted and I can tell you that my baby brother (now 27years old) is fine ! These things are not definite. The dilema you will have now is whether to go for the amnio test that has a 1% risk of miscarriage to find out for sure. Then you have to decide if you would choose to abort if they did have it for sure. It is a tough place. But as I have said we are here for you and ready to listen.

Twigs - if you want to meet us all on fb, but remain anonymous, you can join and leave false details! Not that I would advocate it generally, but just for meeting us. Even set up a new email account to join, that way we would never be able to track you down either! Having said that my fb is boring with no photos of my kiddies, so probrably not worth looking at!

Kat - I hope you have got that case study done now!!!!!

Babyblue...I'm not going to repeat everything the girls have said, but will say big cuddles and I'm thinking of you too! It's hard not to discuss these things in rl so please just get it out somehow...we're here to support x

Kat hows the case study... ....

Hi Twig, Heinz, Rainbow and Scorpio xx

Rainbow, what a scary time for you , like mrsD says, I really echo what everyone else is saying. It's a shame you can't tell rl friends, but we'll be here to support you as much as possible, please keep us posted xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

BIG ooooooooops, I meant Babyblue, stupid me

SEE how I ended up texting the wrong person!¬!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Duh, hadn't noticed our last thread was up . Had thought it was a technical fault due to new mumsnet format that meant I couldn't add messages .
BABYBLUE, been there myself with high readings from screening with dd1 (turned out to be a false positive as most of them do). It's a truly horrible time and made me not do screening with the next 3, even though I'm 39 in May. The odds are very much in your favour, and I really hope you can get some reassurance soon xx Is this the combined nuchal and bloods, or have you 'factored in' later bloods too? (just thinking you're about 17 weeks now??). Please ask away, as I work in the area of antenatal screening so can hopefully help out if you have any questions xxx
KAT, really good that you have a great nurse. Hopefully the levels are just dropping slowly, and you don't need to be concerned about eptopic. Sounds like it could be medically managed anyway. Have you let anyone (ie personal tutor) know about mc? Just thinking how tough it must have been to do presentation - I advise my students to submit mitigating circumstances forms which can help take mark into context, though not sure if that's a concern for you anyway as seems to have gone ok xx
Hello to everyone else! Am also intrigued by this facebook lark - am pretty new to it but am enjoying accepting all these new friends requests

hello!

A lovely new thread. I think this one is a lucky & very 'positive' one.

Very sorry to hear your news scorpio, hope you are feeling OK. Babyblue - hope all goes well. Kat, hope you have a good night out! good thoughts & fingers crossed for everyone else.

DH is very very happy about TTC#4 ... but maybe BD 2 or 3 times a day is a bit OTT

Happy Valentines all!

Lol!!! Sandy I bet he's a happy boy !
Glad you found the thread x

just saying hello really, bleeding has nearly stopped. think we are just going to continue having unprotected sex straight away; GP said was OK because it was small pregnancy, more than likely a 'blighted ovum' i feel a big need to get pregnant again asap. apparently quite common.

All my Breastmilk has gone too; shock and hormones i think. feel a failure on both counts now.

Also DH was meant to be going away for olympic try outs for thai boxing this weekend; he isnt now because of me, and i know he is gutted really. I feel sorry about that, but not, iyswim. I can't win!

Aww Scorpio, I know the feeling. I couldn't have coped waiting, the only thing that got me through it was trying again.
This time it's more complicated and I really feel like I need a few weeks 'off' mainly to get my body back to normal. I think it's a very personal decision and apparently you're more fertile straight after a mc

TC
Kat

Well... went to the doc and had everything explained to me. The nuchal came out within the normal range at 2.4mm. It was the blood screening that came out abnormal. Apparently my hormone levels (or whatever it is they are testing) came out low. As a result, they gave me a 1 in 35 odds of having a Downs baby. I now have an appointment on Tuesday morning to see a genetics counsellor, who will then book me for an amnio. I have been crying non stop since last night! Even DH who is usually a rock, has been very emotional. The waiting begins! I am afraid to do the amnio, but cant bear the thought of waiting for the next 23 weeks with this hanging over my head, and sucking the joy out of what definitely is my last pregnancy! Then, after the amnio, its at least 2 weeks before the results come in. Talk about the 2ww! Sigh... sorry for this 'me post'... but its all I can think of right now.

Do you actually want an amnio? Is there a benefit to you to knowing you may have a baby with downs? Would you terminate?

I think that's a good question SCORPIO - without wanting to sound condescending BABYBLUE, please make sure you think through what you would do if results came out 'bad' (I'm sure you have). I've had an amnio myself with dd1 after my false positive screen that didn't actually culture (0.5% chance) and my thinking at the time was that I would have terminated for chromosome abnormality. This time I refused one (even though I'm older so technically higher risk)as I wouldn't terminate for ds. Really wish you the best whatever you decide - tis a horrible wait, although I know in the UK you can request amnio-PCR or FISH which gives you a prelim result in 3-4 days?? Is this offered in Canada? Might make the wait a little easier >
Good to hear from you SCORPIO. Take care, rest up (I think it's common to feel really shattered after a mc - I've never known fatigue like it). Good luck for future ttc - I conceived month after my mc.

the tiredness has been a bit shockign actually, completly exhausted, but feeling more normal as each day passes. The bleeding is minimal now too, i guess my body is equally efficent at miscarrying as it is at being pregnant. I am however thankful for small mercies - quick blood loss and no problems with it, iyswim.

I hope that the questions below didnt seem too blunt - i am a bit 'biological' about things like that.

I just feel like i want to ttc again ASAP. I kinda feel bad about that to the lost baby; i don't want to replace him but i do want a dc4.

DH & I are going to buy an ornament marking it - we are crap at gardening otherwise would get a tree.

I think my decision to have the amnio is more about knowing, than wanting to terminate should the results be bad. The not knowing would completely stress me out for the remainder of the pregnancy (which cant be good for me or the baby). As well... if things should go badly, I would like to prepare myself and my family for any hardships that might follow. Knowledge is power right? I would want to start preparing myself as best as I can, for taking care of a baby with special needs. This is my thinking process at the moment... though my brain is really REALLY muddled right now! My heart keeps trying to tell me that all is ok... but the rest of me is gutted!

Anyway... Scorpio, glad to hear your body seems to be taking care of business. Hopefully you will be back to 100% soon and ready to start trying again! I know what you mean about not wanting to replace one with the other. It was really important for me to get pg as soon as possible after my m/c too. I think it helped my healing process.... I tend to dwell on things much longer than I should, and the new pregnancy gave me other things to preoccupy my mind with. I still occassionally think of my 'peanut' and how far along I would be, etc. I guess thats motherlove!

babyblue - i think i would want to know for sure too - forewarned is forearmed. If the baby did have have downs, you could find support groups, see if there is a community worker to help you, or a special needs group. You may need BF support too.

Just take life easily at the moment; don't worry too much, rely on your DH and others.

Thankyou for sharing that about your mc & new pg- thats how i feel.

Babyblue, really thinking of you. I'm not surprised you've been crying so much, what a sad and worrying time. Have you told anyone in RL, presumably it is hard to be 'normal' with them and life with your 3 dc will have had to carry on. Can you get some help from somewhere so you've got the time to process all this difficult and emotional information? I understand having the amnio too, you can then know what you are up against, whether you decide to terminate or not, and hopefully it will be good news and you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. (((Babyblue)))

Also use this thread as much as you need to. Just give us the 'me posts', I can't imagine you can think of anything else xx