Thread for those fed up of pregnant friends... actually pregnant women everywhere... while they themselves have been TTC for ages or keep having miscarriages.

[GordonTheGopher]

I know it's not very PC. But I can't help but be really jealous. Just this morning I got an email off another friend telling me she's pregnant - first month of trying.

That makes 6 friends who are pregnant. I have been TTC no 2 for two years. I had a MMC last May and an early MC last week.

I do try and be happy for them. But in reality I'm not.

Am I normal? Anyone care to join me?

beanieb - I have one of those facebook colleagues who does the exact same thing and my finger has hovered over the delete button a few times (but how would I explain that one should she notice - "sorry I couldn't stnd your fucking nauseating fertility updates " )she just had her baby the day before xmas eve and now I have endless updates on her breast feeding and 10 million photographs of the new arrival, and yes, video clips too, fecking great, ta.

I am due on next friday but already know am not pg as boobs have stopped hurting meaning af on way soon. FTC sucks arse in a major way....here hve bailey's witih me ...hic

Hi, also not posted on here for ages.
I am now more determined than ever and feel it in my waters that i WILL be pregnant next year. We are going for it properly.
Im fed up with the waiting and disapointment so each month we are going to put every effort in.
Think if nothing happens by the summer, i will need to go and see someone. Going to give it a bit longer though.

any one else feeling positive for next year?

I feel a bit wierd as a single mum who would love a large family yet I can't see a man in the immediate future and therefore no siblings for dd.
I know an annoying couple who are popping them out so easily. I would be really happy for them if they didn't keep asking me when I am going to find a man. They seem too perfect and annoying. They try to compete with me too when it comes to child rearing which is totally unfair seeing as I'm on my tod. I agree with the point scoring system of deservedness for sure.
I'm actually thinking of adoption in the future if I don't find the right guy. Anyone else gone down this route? Anyone else in my situation?
Conception is so fraught and complicated - it never is just a matter of having sex- there are so many issues that cloud the way.

BSL - ranting is what this page is all about.

As for me... Have started alcohol free 2009 in vain last ditch attempt to get pregnant. Have 2 or 3 friends still trying (and LOADS pg, but at least I'm not totally alone in this). Anyway would really like not be the last one and as I'm the oldest of us and DH works away the odds are already stacked against us.
Will try to do all Jan alc free and then see how it goes.

Hi guys,

Havent posted for ages sorry about that been kinda wollowing and still doing it.

Had my first Af after Mc on the 26th Dec (good timing ay)! Fucker. Am now in the middle of this cycle. I havent started taking the clomid again yet although i did toy with the idea for a few days but just couldnt bring myself to take it, its not that i dont want to try but so scared of the disappointment again if i do lose and then fall.

I feel so crap at the moment i have a friend that is nearly 20 weeks with her 2nd and fell first time and every time i talk to her i want to cry and there is this mum at the school who is 28 weeks and i cant even look at her and when i do i want to cry so hard and i just cant help thinking why not me what have i ever done, why them. I hate to say it but i almost despise them god that is such an awful thing to say but i realy do. I am wondering if i just need to give up on the ttc thing it is not getting me anywhere, i have no friends i can talk to about it, i feel so alone and i feel so crap all the time.

so sorry to rant guys just needed to get that off my chest.

Hey ray81 - hang in there, we've all been where you are today...I think trying to take a break from TTC even for say 2 cycles is a good idea. I have tried to do it and managed one but it did help me get things in perspective. I have also found really trying hard to accept a life without me getting pregnant again. Its a very hard thing to do but is less hard than the constant misery of TTC. I have set myself a time limit of 2 yrs from now to stop TTC and have started to think about how my life will be and what things I will do if TTC fails. Its helping me cope.

I will do all I can for the next 2 years to get pg but then I need to accept i did my best and cannot do any more.

Lots of love to you I really feel for you x

Hi
Its the hardest thing plastering a smile on my face when another friend/family member announces they are pregnant. I manage it then go home and have a sob as I feel my body is letting me down.
Im nearly 32 and have no dc, been ttc for 18 months since we got married but nothing yet. We are going thorugh all the tests now but feel like its all my fault. I did have a mc 11 years ago at 13 weeks and no pregnancies since.
I really feel for everyone on here and it is good to read some stories and know i am not alone in my quest

Good luck to everone

Hi ray sorry to hear you are going thru the wringer - you need to give yourself some time to get over the mc - mine was 9 months ago and I still get upset so please don't expect everything to slot into place emotionally - you have had a big shock to the system and need to be kind to yourself. Maybe some time 'off' is a good idea. I am too old for that (!) But decided to give myself the present of taking more care of myself. Still no BFP but the acupuncture has made me feel so much better and cutting down on wine has been a good move. 2009 will be better, it has to be. Take carexx

Hello to everyone else, sorry you had to rant but glad you did.

Hi guys,

Ontheup and pinkmook i think you are both right that i need a break from the TTc but even when you tell yourself you are going to do it you never realy do, do you? We havent realy been actively trying for the last 2 months but we have... you know and becoz we did i still feel like i am in the 2ww, my Af sysmptom seem to have disappeared now which makes me symptom spot and also i saw a spiritalist in Oct last year and he told me i would have a baby within a year and that would mean i would have to be pg this month and therefore that is this hope that i am and wont lose. How pathetic ay?

My friend had her 20 week scan yesterday and i did the usual thing of phoning and checking all was ok and she is having a girl and is realy happy, she already has a girl who is 2 and she fell first month of trying and only Bded once this time which makes me realy resentful. so anyway yesterday shes telling me how she was so scared there was going to be something wrong and she is so glad that everything is alright and she is having a girl and all i can think is i hope she has a hard time when the baby is born as her dd is abit spoilt and it will serve her right for being so bloody lucky All the time.

I do wonder if i am being punished for being such a bitter and twisted bitch and perhaps thats why i am not falling Pg and why i lose when i finaly do.
I think the hardest thing for me at the moment is that i am trying to come to terms with the fact i probably wont have any more children and i dont know how to deal with it and whenever i try to talk to my friends about it they are like 'yes you will dont be silly' ad i just want to slap them and shout ' i have been trying for 5 sodding years if it hasnt happened yet the likelyhood is that it wont' but of course i dont i just keep my mouth shut as per usual.

God sorry to rant yet again guys. Anyonw got any clues on how you cope with feeling that you wont have anymore dcs?

Hello everyone.
This is my first post!
Me and DH have been ttc for 8 months, which I know isn't that long, but it sometimes feels like forever - probably because so many friends are pregnant (current count 5) or have just given birth (3 in the past 2 months).
For the majority, I'm really pleased, honest. But there is one of my very close friends who is 5 months pregnant and I'm finding it really hard. She started trying after us and fell pregnant in the 2nd month. She already has a 2 year old son (conceived at the first attempt) and now she's just found out she's having a girl (well of course she is!!). Rightly so, she's over the moon and dead excited, but I'm struggling.
Whenever I see her I feel awful for feeling like this, but at the same time I always leave feeling utterly envious of her situation and really low and sad that it's not me. I was secretly hoping she would even have another boy so everything wouldn't be "perfect".
She's done nothing to deserve this and is a great friend, but the more it goes on the more I am dreading her actually having the baby if I'm still not pregnant.
I can really identify with some feelings shared on this thread and it's helped me see that these feelings are normal - even if they don't make me very happy - and its great to be able to get this off my chest as its starting to eat me up a little.
So, thanks everyone!

Hello all,

Ray81, feeling for you so much right now, not that that helps, go with how you feel but don't make any unreversible decisions. I work in a predominately female enviroment and recently had a day where someone announced they were pg by 'accident', living at home with parents, really young, relationship over, someone else left to go on maternity leave & later in the day the newest baby (10 days old)was brought in to the dept. I restrainedly (I felt) hid in a toilet cubicle and sobbed my heart out for half an hour[sad, sad, sad].
Our situations really suck and I know there's nothing I can do can say to make you feel better, but as someone on here (possibly you) said to me, just call and I will personally thump all those well meaning ignoramuses for you. I'm often thinking it'll never happen, may as well give up, but when it comes to it, that tiny bit of hope that hides in the deepest depths of my heart jumps up and all resolve is gone. Only you know what is right, I'd wait for the tests, getting yourself into the best shape possible for your benefit not any for potential dc's and try/allow yourself to have a bit of fun here and there, see what the tests come back with. Be kind to yourself, you are a good person and all this crap is unfortunately one of those terrible things which is'nt your fault. Big hugs.