Thread for those fed up of pregnant friends... actually pregnant women everywhere... while they themselves have been TTC for ages or keep having miscarriages.

[GordonTheGopher]

I know it's not very PC. But I can't help but be really jealous. Just this morning I got an email off another friend telling me she's pregnant - first month of trying.

That makes 6 friends who are pregnant. I have been TTC no 2 for two years. I had a MMC last May and an early MC last week.

I do try and be happy for them. But in reality I'm not.

Am I normal? Anyone care to join me?

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGHHHH
Phew. Just needed to get that out of my system.
Today... saw ds's best friend and his mum in the morning- ds and her ds are the same age, have known each other since they were a few weeks old. She has two days left before dc2 arrives. That was OK, just wished it was me and felt sad for ds.
On way home saw friend from a baby group, all of whom are currently pregnant with no 2 except me. She got pg the a week after me but I miscarried at 9 wks. She had just been for her twenty week scan and was a little disappointed about sex of the baby. That was OK too, though obviously it reminded me that this week I would have had my twenty week scan too.
This pm went to see another friend, a colleague who has a 3 month old. Chatted a bit about her return to work etc. As I was leaving she breezily said (about work) 'Oh well, it doesn't matter cause we're planning to pop another one out asap so we can give dd the little brother or sister she needs'
And THAT's the one that finished me off!!!!
It's true, it is grief- and grief works in very odd ways, just seems to be hanging below the surface all the time, then one tiny thing lets it out.
Some wine now I think!!

wook you're right - it's grief and grief does pop out at the wierdest times. My baby would have been due next week and I remember thinking wouldnt it be great it (s)he was born on Haloween becasue its my mother's birthday (she died a couple of years ago) - and now its Haloween and I'm sitting with a glass of wine and AF. I cry at the strangest things and it's my grief valve letting off, my own personal pressure cooker. I raise my glass to you and the other ladies here...

Just realised I can't spell hallowe'en

Hi, I wrote before and still in agreement: still feel jeolous, and feel bad for feeling jeolous.

I'm preparing myself to hear about 3 more preg (i.e. know 3 TTC). Seems daft as they're in the same boat as me, but I'm waiting for feedback re. molar preg, and I'm already scared I'll have to do that 'oh how lovely face' when they tell me (and while they drop in 'after only a few months trying too...'), while I'll be thinking I ahould be pregnant and telling you!

I hate feeling this way. I think I've only had one MMC, could try again (if not molar preg), and have dd, but still deep down feel jeolous!

I've got passed seeing a few babies now, but can't believe I'm actually jeolous of friends who may now have dc2s when I would have had one, or anytime before I may have a dc2, or I may see them have dc2s and never have another one. This is the only place I feel safe enough to admit this, haven't even said on other threads how jeolous I am, feel like a complete bi!ch! Even worse as I think they would be happy for me, but following ERPC I couldn't be for them at moment (wouldn't wish them harm, but would be really ).

Please let me join the drinks party, to use a previous analogy, I was at the bus stop, had the right money and was allowed on only to be kicked off shortly afterwards. Ok it was only a short ride and very bumpy but feeling like I should find a real bus to go and lie under. I know people have worse things happen etc etc but for the minute I feel like shit and if anyone else tells me 'well at least you know it can happen, I might just hit them'. I've known it can happen 8 times now, I'm eternally grateful for my one success but this is still hell like. Don't even know if I can face telling the gp just to get it formalised. Need some company in my misery pit, any takers?

Hi guys,

Pinkspook, Oh dear about the hand that cant be good, how is it feeling now ? how are you feeling now?

Wook, i think you did pretty well to last as long as you did the other day, now me i would have broken down at the first punch (thats what its like). I have a friend who is nearly 10 weeks with DC2 she has DD1 who is 2 i went to DD1 party yesterday and of course they are talking about how early she is showing and could it be twins??? if it is a think i may kill her i cant get PG with one let alone fecking 2, and all the while i'm sat there smiling and people are giving me those sympathtic looks and handing my babies to hold ( as if that makes up for it ) and i just want to sit in the corner and cry and shout 'why not me, why you, what have you done differently to me ' this applies to you top Lilapink i know exactly how you feel to infact ive taken to seeing PG women in the street and wanting to hit them how awful is that!!!

Badkness,

Hi yes do join the party the more the merrier, or not as the case may be. I'm so sorry for all your losses and please dont lie under a bus !!! it wont help!! although may take your mind off it.
If you tell me who these people are that are telling you 'at least you know it can happen' i will hit them for you, how inconsiderate, thats the problem with people they just dont understand that its not only the getting PG thats the problem its carrying to term too they just take it for granted that it happens quickly for everyone and just dont have a clue.
8 Mc is alot are they carrying out any investigations, my friend had 6 before she had her first and they gave her Progestrone pesarries as soon as they new and it helped her carry her 2 DDs, she also took an aspirin too i dont know if they've tried this for you but may be worth asking if they havent.

Pinkie,

CD 25 now how long are you cycles, i am quite excited for you and i so hope that it has worked for you this month . me and DH bd 17 times this month so hoping thats done the trick but knowing me it wouldnt have and i'll be doing it all over again next month. Im on CD 20 of a 33 day i think so have 12 days to go god does that feel like a lifetime.
Anyway being made redundant at the end of this month so hoping the job hunting will take my mind off all this TTC. Will have to wait and see.

Please kep me updated i am dying to know if its worked for you i realy am.

OMG [Pinkie] 17!!!!!!! I was hoping my acupuncture will give me added energy but that's ridiculous - I hope you have strong bed springs!

Ontheup.

Its me that bd 17 times and have not had acupunture, just imagine what it would be like if i did he he.
We have one of those moulding beds so springs not a problem although must say am abit sore (sorry tmi. I'm just hoping it has worked though!!!!

Also with regards to your previous message, when i had my first MC 8 months later i had a call from the health visitor saying ' your babies due next week just wanted to get intouch and arrange a meeting' i told her that id MC and then hung up and burst into tears. what a joke the NHS is ay i was trying so hard to forget and then that happens life is a bitch.

Hi ontheup ray

I am on cd25 (usually 28 days maximum 34 but that was ages ago)today and bded from day11 to day18 with a+ive OPK on day14. The Sperm meets egg plan says to HPT 15 days later so am trying to hold out til Saturday.

have bought a CD digital test and left it in boot of car so have to make effort to get it in the am (am usually too desperate to pee) to do this.

Hopefully this will push me to wait.

I have been having acupuncture, had one on fri which was bizarre sensation and am going on Wednesday this week. Hopefully it will encourage the potential bean to stick. (wishful thinking on my part.)

Have also found that last month with the clomid i didnt have any spotting on the run up to my AF just light on CD28 then full on CD29. So the fact no spotting or splodges today am trying not to get excited. Infact trying very hard not to sympton spot as the clomid mimics so many pg symptoms.

Baby dust to you both.

Hello Ray81, Thanks for that, I've had pretty much every test going, nothing obviously wrong, although when preg with DD1 they finally worked out I have 2 wombs & cervix which can complicate things a little!! On a negative note I tend to think I've got 2 and can't get preg in either not for longer than a couple of weeks anyway.
I developed rheumatoid arthritis 6 wks after DD1 was born so the drugs for that meant I could'nt have the aspirin (which I had for DD1)but have stopped those drugs now so will check out if I can take it now.

To everyone, thank you all for making me realise as alone as I feel, I'm not. Whilst it stinks that we're all in this boat its always good know you are not alone, especially with those 'bad' emotions us women are not supposed to express to other females.

Fingers crossed for all those waiting. I usually find decorating or shopping distracting at this point!!

Hi Guys,

Badknees, my friend had the tests and there was nothing wrong but they tried the pprogestrone and it worked so check it out, the thing is unless you push on the NHS you dont get a thing and surley its worth a try the next time you get PG.

DD is back at school today and have to go and pick her up there is a Mum that is Pg and i realy dont want to see her, she tried for 2 yrs and i was realy happy for her when she fell but then she started with ' if its twins i wont cope i didnt sign up for that' and ' if theres anything wrong will get rid of it couldnt cope with that' what a cow i was thinking how bloody lucky she was to fall just be bloody grateful or i'll hit you. anyway cant deal with her so may just ignore her or shell be talking about scans etc.

I had a dream last noght that i was PG, i was a few days late and did a test it was a realy strong BFP and i was so happy, teeling everyone and remember thinking ' this feels great what a great feeling knowing you're Pg' it was so so so real and then i had to go and wake up, why the hell does life do that or the brain for that matter give you alittle taster and then take it away.

Not having a good day today can you tell, convinced it hasnt worked but the feeling i had in my dream is still with me and i want it to be real. BOO HOO.

Here Ray have a hanky and a hug.
re getting names mixed up - sorry.
Baby dust to you and pinkie (any evryone else too of ocurse!) I am on CD5 so am inspired by your activity - DH wont know whats hit him

I was over a week late this month - I'm never, ever late. In fact, my cycles have been really short recently. My cycles have been about 25 days, but this month it was 35 days. I was just about to buy a test when my period started.

It's the first time in nearly 4 years that I actually began to have hope.

Oh littefish you poor thing - you must be gutted. Take care

Oh littlefish, You poor thing, i realy hate it when that happens it tends to happen to me when i think i am being regular and then it will trow me by being like 2 weeks late, the most important thing is just not to get hopes up i think. How depressing.

Ok so ned help guys, do we have any reflexology buffs out there? I was told of this story of a friends friend who tried for 5 years went and had reflex and they told ehr she was PG as this certain part of her foot was swollen, when she did a test she was infact PG. Now i was putting cream on my feet last night after my shower and i promise you i realy wasnt looking for it but notice the inside of my foot on the bridge and just under the ankle is realy realy swollen, now i have never ever had this before as i put cream on my feet every night and have never seen it but its there and i realy dont want to get hopes up but does anyone think it could be a good sign. Come on guys please give me some positive feedback.
Another thing is that i regulary have this feeling for other people when they are PG i always know before they are, not exagerating honest 5 friends i have told now they were pg before they knew they were, i have never had this feeling about myself ever but now i do its there and its telling me a i am i cant get rid of it no matter how much i tell myself im not and it hasnt worked etc this feeling wont go away.
anyone get the feeling its time for me to go to the looney bin.

Hi Ray81,You don't need the loony bin its perfectly normal to feel this way and revel in it cos whether you are or not you need to be kind to yourself!!
Go with the positive, you never know you might be and its not hurting anyone, least of all you. I'm a massive one for beating myself up over my uselessness and lets be honest if it turns out you're not, you'll be gutted whatever, be nice to yourself, be positive and enjoy the anticipation. Big hugs and fingers crossed.

Thanks ladies. I just need a few days to wallow in self-pity. Luckily, I don't know any pregnant women at the moment. Somehow, once they've had the baby, I don't feel as envious. Probably because I still remember the sleepless nights and sore nipples!

HI Ray

Havent said hi in ages.

Be really positive about how you feel.My orignial gynae (looked after me thru 3 miscarriages and birth of dd#1) always said if you feel it you are. Its when the feeling stops that you'll know it isnt anymore.

I always used to "feel" pg before i tested and every time i mced i knew the night before. i would wake up and say dont feel pg and that would be it.

So smile that you feel pg.

IN the mean time, womb and ovaries and tube are located at the bottom of foot across the ankle is your tubes. Dont press or rub

Lots of baby dust

Hi pinkie,

i have been thinking about you. How are you doing must be nearly time now ay?

Thanks for the positive thinking, i am trying so hard not to get hopes up but cannot shake this feeling at all no matter how many times i tell myself that i am not its still there all the time and i have this excited feeling that i am trying to surpress . I realy dont want to set myself up for a fall as i know that if i feel this way and it turns out to be wrong i will be so so devastated.

It isnt the ankle itself that is swollen its the area below the angle, you know where the arch finishes and it becomes the heel its right before the heel on the arch of the foot. It weird as i have a condition called pelvic venus congestion syndrom and although it doesnt affect fertility it means the veins are large and painful and the ones on my foot where the swelling is and towards the front of the foot on the arch are also. i havent been pressing or rubbing as i thought prob wouldnt be a good idea as the area is so sensitive i just realy realy hope that its a good sign.

baby dust to you too. Good luck in the next few days i realy hope this is your month, how are the symptoms?

Ray,

Unfortunately i had some spotting yesterday and today so am expecting AF in the next few days.

Its down to you to fly the flag for clomid this week.

Oh Pinkie,

what a bummer, although not out until Af arrives in full as could be implantation bleeding !!!!! you never know.

I am hoping i will be flying the flag, have a long wait to go at the mo it should be about 9 days although cant be too sure just have to wait and see.

Good luck hon

i'm off home now yippeeee.

Lots of baby dust to you

Morning ladies - off to my second acupuncture session today. Not sure whether its the placebo effect but definately had more energy this week since the fisrt session and genrally less 'hormonal'. i have even been out for a run twice this week ! I am 39 in a few weeks so have decided to give myself a present of feeling healthy and losing a bit of weight as its crept on since the mc.

Sadly DH is in a cr@ppy mood as DS has been waking thru the night for the last few days so BD may be a distant hope this month but at least I feel as if I am doing something positive - actually starting to feel myself at last. Good luck ray and big hugs to pinkie. Hope everyone is doing OK this dank and muggy morning...

Hey Ontheup,

Whether Dh is in a bad mood or not make sure you do otherwise you'll kick yourself, just jump him he'll be so surprised he wont be able to refuse. He he.

Thanks for the good luck i'm hoping this is my month put this wait is killing me it seems to be dragging so much.

Any news Ray?? DH is in better mood now so here's hoping for this month for me too...am CD12 so a busy few days ahead How is everyone?

Hi Ontheup.

No news as yet not due til either thurs or fri. am swinging from feeling very positive to feeling very negative.

Here are symptoms or not symptoms.

Normally have sore Bb but not this month.
normally have realy bad backache but again not this month.
Finding it very hard to sleep and keep waking in the night. having very strange dreams. Hot and cold at night with night sweats. have been waking up feeling like i have wet myself which is very strange indeed. Irritable/ no scrap that murderous not normally this bad with PMT.
Foot is swollen wher uterus is which can be a sign (getting myself at it do you think).
toilet habits have changed, not the weeing bit but the other if you know what i mean, not like me.
And finaly i just dont feel like myself, cant explain it but i just dont.
i also keep getting this little glimmer of an excited feeling in my tummy, i was convinced at one point it had worked but kep swaying from hope to depair and swearing that if it hasnt worked this month i will give up becoz i cant take the disappointment anymore and i have nothing left to give i have tried my hardest what more can i do.

I'm glad DH is in a better mood now. Good luck with the next week. me a DH did the OPKS this month and when i had a +ive we bd morn and night and inbetween for 4 days missed a day and then again i counted overall 17 times this month so one of them must have it the spot. Oh dear God i do so hope so.