Thread for those fed up of pregnant friends... actually pregnant women everywhere... while they themselves have been TTC for ages or keep having miscarriages.

[GordonTheGopher]

I know it's not very PC. But I can't help but be really jealous. Just this morning I got an email off another friend telling me she's pregnant - first month of trying.

That makes 6 friends who are pregnant. I have been TTC no 2 for two years. I had a MMC last May and an early MC last week.

I do try and be happy for them. But in reality I'm not.

Am I normal? Anyone care to join me?

I hope so too Ray - it sounds like SOMETHING is happening down there I am not hopeful for this month as I am out of the house for work over the crucial couple of days but I am resigned to it - I'm forcing myself not to stress...tried to BD this morning but DS woke up (sigh)

May I join?

This is how I've been feeling for weeks. Currently am surrounded with people who are pg with no.2

We've been trying for no.2 for 6mths. It took us 2 years for no.1 including one mmc.

Just really pi**ed off.

Hi Guys,

Ontheup you were right i did a test this morn and BFP OMG im pregnant i cant believe it.

It was a faint line but not due til fri so its early which makes sense but was def there i just cant believe it.

Just need to get to 12 weeks now as have had 2MC before at 6 weeks heres hoping this is a keeper.

Ray - that is brilliant.
Congratulations. You've given me hope now!!

Congratulations Ray OMG indeed!!! well done - our first success stroy for this thread!!!! Am thrilled for you - buckets of sticky dust coming at you!!! Yay for 'sperm meets egg' plan!

Juicy hello and welcome - everyone's allowed to vent here as I am sure you have seen. I am after DC2 too - had a mc in March and hormones gone doolally since. But as Ray has shown there's hope for us all...

Congrats Ray!! Great news

Just got an email from one of my NCTers that she's given birth to her 2nd. Didn't even know she was pg!!

Will it ever end??

Helloooo[onthup waves into the empty echoing room] anyone there?

I'm still here...thought I'd killed the thread!

Feeling more optimistic today. No reason. Currently sleep deprived, but definately less pee'd off.

Just wish they'd stop advertising those clear blue - "shows you not just that you're pg, but how you are"

Fuff off, some of us just need a fuffing BFP

Did I say I was less pee'd off. Obviously still feeling a bit sensitive

HI RAY!!

how are you doing? how are things on the bus?!! hope you're well and you've still got two blue lines.. if only one could go into a deep sleep for 12 wks and wake up at the other side and be immune to all the worry and waiting and just relax!! hope you're still on cloud line and not too scared to enjoy it.. oh! the relief must be amazing!!! i yelped when i read your post last week and to be honest i closed the computer and couldn't come back to this thread till now.. seems like the usual die hards are missing too.. and i'm kinda worried about pinkmook.. it's so wierd.. we're all here egging each other on and doing our damndest to make it happen and when someone falls pregnant it's such a shock!! Ray you deserve this and by god you've earned it and all the happiness it brings you.. and if you have any tips or advice or hints etc let us know! i'm really pleased for you, wish you the very very VERY best and i'm sorry i didn't say so sooner .. keep us posted as to how you're getting on.. xxx

Hi - I havent been on due to work - no ulterior reasons honest - Juicy you didnt kill the thread - maybe everyone is on a communal holiday ?????

Ive been continuing w the acupuncture and definately feel a LOT better so am hopeful about next month - this one is prob a write off as BD was put off course due to illness and wakeful DS - here's hoping for December. Hope everyone is doing OK?

We bd'd every day from day 12 to day 16 but I am still expecting AF. It's been so stressful (middle of whole house refurb). But have to keep trying as am already 41.

Boo Hiss Buggar Biology.

Hi ladies! Was 17th October when i last posted on here. Just wanted to call in and say hang on in there. May join you more regularly soon if that's okay. Have been having accupuncture for a couple of months and feeling a lot healthier in general, start taking metformin for PCOS this week and folic acid so going to start ttc again in a few months time.

Hi guys,

Well it seems that although i had BFP it wasnt to last have been to hosp and HCG is very low so will miscarry pretty soon just waiting for it to happen. This will be my third Mc and after 5 years trying to get Pg and when finaly it happens i lose. Life is so so so unfair i realy dont understand why us i dont get it why why why ( sobbing ). I cant do this anymore i realy cant cope anymore i give up i realy so.

Good luck to everyone else and baby dust to you all.

hello fellow busstoppers.

Ray I am so so sorry, is there no hope it may just hng in there? All my thoughts of good luck are with you.

As fifi said. Its not that I am not pleased for someone when they get pregnant (especially not on here where we all deserve a break) its just I have loads of crap going on with DH being made redundant and trying to sort another job out for him its so stressful. And it is a shock when someone gets pregnant - its fantastic and great but it kind of leaves you thinking of where you are with no pregnancy and still stood at the bus stop. But please please any one who does get pregnant on here dont think I am not pleased for you (you all deserve it) just waiting for my turn.

xxx

Ray.

Get drunk, eat Sushi. AFter your mc go to a good spa and do Sauna and Jacuzzi. Indulge yourself. Have a good cry and then rethink if you want to try again.

Know we understand how rubbish you feel. Big hugs xxx

Here AF is on her way. Bitch. Not sure I can pack in another 5 day marathon next month for nowt.

Oh Ray - you poor thing - I was wondering why you had gone so quiet - great big hugs to you. Fwiw try not to make any decisions now as you have to go through grief (again, i know, its not fair at all) and give yourself time. hard to do, easy to say I know but try to be kind to yourself. How is DH (or DP, not sure) - he must be upset too. Will be thinking of you honey. Take care. xxxx

Hey nandos, its been confirmed that i am losing as hcg as fallen so need to accept it now all hope is gone,

Dh has been brilliant we have had a good cry together but i think he is more worried about me then anything else.

i just cant understand why us we have spent 4 years waiting for this just to have it snatched away so easily it just seems so fucky unfair.

Thanks for all the best wishes guys but i'm realy not sure if i can do it all again, i feel so defeated at the moment and i hate myself for it but i just want to curl up under the covers and not emerge for days, but i can as have DD and have to pull myself together for her poor thing just doesnt understand whats going on.

I'll keep incontact and let you all know when i decide what to do.

Ray - Take care xx

AF on it's way here. Tomorrow it will make an official appearance. Know it. Fab, super, brilliant am really made up

oh god ray..

i'm so sorry.. i don't know your full story but perhaps someone could investigate now why you have recurring m/cs? 3 is (stupidly and pointlessly) the magic number where they'll finally take you seriously.. and if you've just recently moved to the sperm meets egg plan then maybe you could take some tiny comfort in the fact that that seemed to work so well for you .. you really gave it 110%.. i'm not being a smartalec here.. you did get BFP.. that's a massive plus.. i know it didn't last and i'm not trying to upset you or make light of what's happening now.. i've been there myself and it's an empty empty numbing hellhole.. i want to shout don't give up.. but.. i want to say don't go gaga either.. there comes a point where you feel you must be a total moron to sit there being slapped on either side of the face over and over every month and not just get up and move away like any reasonable person would do.. but i guess we can no longer call ourselves reasonable people anymore and lets face it we all say "i'm giving up!!!" and this quest never really leaves us.. even if we think we've put it out of our heads.. maybe you could say that you'll just stop trying for a month or two to kick off the investigations side of things.. oh Ray.. i'm sorry.. so sorry.. wrap up warm, be kind to yourself and tell DH WE said you are to get VIP treatment.. tell DD you're not very well and try to take her somewhere lovely as a pre christmas treat, have a little girls day out, take her to a dept store and buy her the pinkest girliest fairy for the tree or spend an afternoon at the cinema together, bake fairy cakes and decorate them with dolly mixture and then sit down and eat them all in front of a dvd.. do something lovely together to push back against all this super sad stuff.. i don't know how old DD is .. maybe all that is too old for her or too "sad and boring!!" .. making her happy will make you happy too.. and if all this is pushed to the back of your mind for even 15 straight minutes.. it might help.. just a tiny bit..
big big hug xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

fifi what a lovely post...it's all so hard isn't it but looking for the good has got to be the best way forward. Take care everyone.

fif, thanks so much for the post it was lovely.

You are right i have to try and find something positive in all this and hopefully now they will investigate and be able to tell me why this is happening to us.
I feel like a right moroon for sitting here and getting slapped over and over again although this time it feels more like a massive punch to the whole body. infact i think saying i feel like i have been in the ring with mike tyson is more like it.

There is a part of me that wants to try straight away like after i have stopped bleeding as they say you are most fertile after a miscarriage and i know the sperm meets egg plan seems to work for us so we could try that again but i am so scared that if it works and i do fall it will all just happen again and as they havent has a chance to carry out any investigations they'll just let it happen like this time.

What do you think guys do i wait until they find out whats wrong or do i just go for it and see what happens. This decision is so hard.

Ray - I haven't posted on your thread but wanted to reply to you as your story has really moved me and the pain you are feeling feels so raw and desperate.

I too have had three mc's and I know how hard it is. To go from the tremendous joy and relief of finding out you are PG to then have it crushed and trampled on so cruelly through MC is hell. And each time feels harder and more desperate. But you will get through this. (Although it's not a straightforward linear journey and there will be good times / days and bad).

After my 3 mc's DH and I were referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic. They were brilliant, took us seriously and did a whole load of blood tests and I had a pelvic scan. They found I had a retroverted womb and cysts on my ovaries (which I worried about until they reassured me how common this was) and the blood tests came back completely normal. They put it all down to bad luck and said that there was a very good change of falling and remaining successfully pregnant and that we should keep on trying. Also when we do next fall PG, we are able to go and have a six week scan to check that all seems to be successfully in place etc - something I find very reassuring.

All of this is a big relief to DH and I and we are now back ttc with the renewed hope that it WILL happen for us at some point. We had a bit of time out after the third MC whilst waiting for our hospital appointment and tests to come back which I found really helpful. I needed time to focus on other things that were important to me, and to focus on my relationship with DH in particular. But you may well feel that you want to carry straight on. There's no right answer, apart from what you feel is best for you.

I wish you all the luck possible. Don't give up hope...

xxxxxxxxxx

Morning everyone - I hope the wet and windy weather isn't too gloomy for you. I need a little vent if you don't mind...AF started yesterday on CD 25 yesterday - complete shock as I was on a 28/29 day cycle so just not expecting it. While logically I knew that wasnt much chance it was still horrible esp as the day before I went to a lunch w my NCT friends - one has DC2 already, one is due in the next few weeks and one is due in the SPring. I got very last night. My baby would have been a few weeks old now and instead her eI am pulling out the gool old Always with wings again. DH wasnt much help - he just says why get worried about something you cant control - he's not interested in IVF and I feel like time is slipping away. I'm almost 39 and beginning to think that DS will be an only child . I know I am lucky to have DS and he is lovely but I don't want him to be lonely...just having a bad day I guess. Thanks for listening.

Ontheup. Know how you feel. My DH tries to be supportive, but I'm only allowed to be philosophical and now get upset about it Thank heavens for mumsnet!!

My DS is lovely too, but I never wanted an only child. Now it looks like that might be the case. Day 1 for me on Sat. Quite dispondant. Next month last try for 2 months due to DH's work cycle. Not optimistic and surrounded by ever increasing girths of pg friends. Boo.