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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

TTC for fabulous 40+

1000 replies

xserialshopper · 10/07/2008 11:14

I've decided to start the new thread

Anyone coming to join me?

OP posts:
heron22 · 15/07/2008 21:40

cece, i am sorry to hear about AF

i know what you mean about getting unsolicited mails. it is so annoying and i always feel like someone out there has all these kind of info on me

fruitbowl · 15/07/2008 22:08

Sorry to hear about your loss cece. Do you mind me asking if you were given an information on the reason for your miscarriage?

I know that sort of post is horrible isn't it. I get frustrated enough with all the Blooming Marvellous catalogues still coming.

Hope you're enjoying your hol MsDynamo - if I couldv've found a pc on hol, I would have been on MN too!

Good luck with your CVS Heron. How long do you have to wait for the results?

I have an unexplained pain deep in the back of my knee and am really paranoid it might be DVT after my D&C and holiday flights. Been to the docs so many times in last 10 days I can't face it again but think will have to go. hey ho...

cece · 15/07/2008 22:15

Yes we met with the consultant who went through the post mortem results. They couldn't find the reason though. The consultant said this was good news in a way as he felt it was unlikely to happen again. I also get extra scans and so on if I ever get another BFP.

Yes and good luck heron for tomorrow.

rowingboat · 16/07/2008 11:45

Hi everyone!
I've been waiting for AF, which was late, but is coming on today. So I thought I would just keep my head down rather than speculate, particularly as I have zero pg symptoms.
zoo that is great news, congratulations! I expect you will be posting at 3AM and weird times for the next little while, whilst you enjoy the first weeks of madness.
Good luck Heron!
So back on the treadmill we go! Lets get these bfp's on the road!!

rowingboat · 16/07/2008 11:48

I don't mean we should actually conceive on an actual road! (thinks)
...but if that works, hmmmm! [looks out of window at road]
No?!

daisy5 · 16/07/2008 14:40

A friend of mine conceived when her mother-in-law walked in on her and her husband right in the middle of their merry bding.

She thought the terror that filled them both, gave his 'little men' that extra little push.

Perhaps doing it in the middle of the road might have the same effect?

herbaceous · 16/07/2008 15:34

Hello girls.

Haven't been around much as been in a bit of a funny old state.

Had an appointment with the fertility doctor yesterday (thanks Heron for recommending her), and she said I should either do clomid, or IVF. I was surprised she recommended IVF, as I've conceived four times in the past three years, but she says if I got enough eggs, and then embryos, they could test them for chromosone probs, and put the good ones back. A year ago I was told to just keep trying naturally rather than try this technique, but I haven't conceived for a year, so maybe it's time to move on.

However, even with good responding, the success rate at my age isn't great.

And, to add to the confusion, I'm just been offered a new job, one that I really want! I'd have to do the IVF pretty soon, which feels bad just into a new job. So I'd have to lie, which means stress, etc...

And, we had been trying to adopt. All has gone tits up, as they've basically told us there aren't any suitable children, but if I do IVF it means I won't be able to do any other adoption route for at least another year (it's their rules).

My head's in a spin!

musicposy · 16/07/2008 19:03

Hi there, have just found this thread and joined the discussion board.
Am 41 and have been TTC for about 6 years now - so not looking so hopeful.
Have 2 kids already - age 8 and 12, both of whom were conceived naturally with no probs, so this was a bit of a shock to us both.
Had 3 cycles of IUI about 3 years ago but no joy. Was told we aren't eligible for IVF as we have kids already (but I've still been through every emotion you can imagine over it ) The final registrar I saw at the fertility clinic was unbelievably nasty to me, so we gave up trying the medical route. They could find nothing wrong, BTW, except a slightly low sperm count for hubby.

I still have hopeful moments, though. Anyone got any tips for me?

rowingboat · 17/07/2008 00:31

Hi Musicposy - interesting name.
I'm sorry to hear about your negative experience, some medical staff are absolutely hopeless at their jobs/deaing with the public. Don't let it get to you!
I have a blocked left tube and a, seemingly, patent right tube, but am not convinced it is really OK. Apparently, if you have tubal damage it is quite likely to affect both.
I have heard that clomid can boost the sperm count? Have you tried any fertility drugs?
Herb - you poor thing, your head must be minced. If the adoption agency has no suitable children now, can they give you an indication of how long you might wait? Could you widen your criteria for a child, or take more than one. I have read that they favour people willing to take sibling groups?
The IVF - it does sound like a good idea, given your history. I suppose at least you can choose when you go ahead and if they take the embryos now, you don't have to use them and they aren't affected by your age so much. YOu could always take the job, do the IVF, but don't have have the transfer for another 12 months?
See how you feel when you sleep on it. I think pursue all options, get as much information as you can and see how you feel.

xserialshopper · 17/07/2008 14:59

Hi Herbs - I hope your head has stopped spinning. I'm really sorry to hear that the adoption process has been so stressful (I read what you said about ss on another thread)

I would definately take the job cos this ttc business is not exact. Why would you have to lie? I would be surprised if your boss or soon to be employer would ask you about your baby making plans for the future.

I'm on Clomid. I think if you've been trying to conceive for more than 1 year and are over 40 it's worth a shot for 6 months. Have you had your tubes checked out? I hope things get more positive for you real soon.

Hi Musicposy I've been trying for 5 years but it's only this year that I'm going to have my tubes checked out. I've also finished my second round of Clomid (and I do definately ov) and am on the 2ww. Have you tried Clomid? I've got my hubby on these supplements click here and scroll down to help the little swimmers maybe worth a try for your dh?

Hows everyone else?

OP posts:
xserialshopper · 17/07/2008 15:01

Cece how are you? Heron how did the CVS go?

OP posts:
heron22 · 17/07/2008 15:11

hi all, had my CVS done yesterday and it was uneventful. i was really surprised how quick it was (even though i was told that it would be quick). it was over in a couple of minutes. i have been having bed rest since and i have just woken up real groggy
DH is home and is looking after DS (took him to school and swimming). I will get preliminary results tomorrow afternoon. the final report will be ready in 2 weeks.
before the CVS, they did the bloods and also a nuchal scan. the odds for downs was 1 in 1367, which i know is a very good result. but we decided to go ahead with the CVS anyway, cos i know i would be fretting the entire pregnancy. CVS look for so many other chromosonal disorders, plus cystic fibrosis, haemophilia and spina bifida. anyway, it was painful and i had period like cramps for an hour afterwards. this morning, just a bit tired. i have managed to keep myself from thinking about the results by watching tv!

Herb, you sure have a lot on your plate! and choices of a great job or go ahead with IVF? the adoption route sounds pretty hopeless
If you decide to do IVF, i would recommend you have acupuncture as well, to reduce stress on your system. Good luck in whatever choice you make. It is a hard one.

i am always here for a chat

cece · 17/07/2008 19:35

heron, glad the CVS went well - now just have to wait for the results - not easy I should imagine.

heron22 · 18/07/2008 09:19

hi cece, got a surprise call from the fetal medicine centre yesterday afternoon and my heart started beating real fast ! all is ok and i am having a baby....boy!

i must admit that i got it into my head that it was going to be a little girl and so for a fraction of a second i was a little let down

but really my DS will be over the moon to have a little brother.

so now i am still resting and trying not to do too much. the risk of m/c should be over after 5 days after procedure.

how are you doing?

cece · 18/07/2008 10:52

Oh Heron, that is lovely news. Boys are great

I have been to see my Gp this morning. She has sent me for the 5 day and 21 day blood test. She was lovely and without me asking has referred me to the hospital for what she called 'sub-fertility'.

Poor DH is most upset as he had to provide a sample for the hosptial to test . Apparently he is not taking it to the hosptial so I am going to have to

On another note I have been trying to find some swimwear for my holiday. I have already spent over £50 on a tankini but need at least one more for a two week holiday. Sadly cannot afford another £50 number. However, DH is having hysterics when I bring them home to try; as my enormous norkage is spilling out of all of them!

ladymac · 18/07/2008 11:14

xserial, I took the female version of the supplements you're giving your dh and conceived at 43. Don't know if they were what did the trick but anything is worth a try!

Heron, great news. My lovely little boy is 20 today.

heron22 · 18/07/2008 11:25

Thank you Cece and Ladymac

Cece, you're lucky to have a good GP, good luck with your tests

when are you going on your holidays? and where are you going?

rowingboat · 18/07/2008 17:16

Hi everyone. That's great news Heron, congratulations!
Cece, I'm glad you have got the ball rolling and that your GP is helpful. Good luck with it all!
Herb, I read your thread as well, and sounds like a really frustrating situation. I'm sorry you are having such a hard time and being messed around so much. How frustrating!
Any thoughts about the job and things?
Incidentally, I looked into IVF abroad, you can save a few quids and have a holiday. Just in case you go the assisted route.

herbaceous · 18/07/2008 17:35

Any thoughts about job and things? My mind is full of little else... It's a dream job, and I mustn't bugger it up, but at the same time, IVF looks like my last/only chance. But it has such a low success rate at my age, I'm not expecting it to work. Which has the bonus of stopping me feeling guilty about getting a new job, taking loads of days off sick, then leaving in nine months time. After I'd promised him that I was committed to it.

I guess part of it is that I've always felt I wanted to leave the baby business up to fate. If it worked, it worked. If not, I'd live with it. Part of me just wants to give up. I can hardly bear to think about it any more.

But then I do have PMT at the moment, so am filled with the rantings of a madwoman!

rowingboat · 18/07/2008 18:09

Oh Herb, I do feel for you. It is a very, very, very hard decision. Probably not one made when you have PMT.

cece · 18/07/2008 18:22

herb,

About the job. When we were trying for our first I got a new job, promotion and so on. After I had been offered and accepted the job I then found out I was pg the next month. I was very embarrased when I started as I had to ask for some time off to go for the 12 week scan the second week I was there . But I don't think a woman should put her life on hold and not acept the job iyswim.

As for deciding between IVF and adoption. I am no hope at all... why do they make you choose? It seems very cruel.

roquefortlover · 18/07/2008 22:55

Hi everyone and welcome to new people! I can't keep up with this thread atm, been busy getting head round what next after my mc! So, sorry for missing people out which I'm sure i will do...

heron, fab news that all is OK. I have 2 boys and a girl and the boys are so lovely together, it's great!

cece and rowing sorry about AF - onwards and upwards I guess...

herbaceous, your situation sounds so difficult, but I do think you should go for it re. the job fwiw...for same reasons as cece. No advice on the IVF/adoption thing except to say it seems v unfair.

as for me, bleeding has stopped now and am just waiting for next AF before ttc again. Now things have settled i really feel very eager to ttc again but as i think i said before dh is less so - he would be as happy to stick with the 3 we have as to go for 4 and he has found the mc hard to cope with too.

I too am v concerned about another mc but pretty sure i want a 4th, esp. as we have pretty much decided against me going back to work soon ( I've retrained as a teacher but jobs are scarce and logistics too complex for various reasons). I shall have to persuade him anew!!

cece · 19/07/2008 09:13

roquefortlover, good to hear from you. Give your DH a bit of time, the miscarriage association do leaflets for men as well I believe.

Herb,

there is an article in today's Times about IVF and the failure rate, with a small piece about adoption as well. Might interest you.

heron22 · 19/07/2008 12:09

hi roque, good to hear from you and that you are feeling upbeat about ttc

herb, i agree with cece, take the job and continue with your plans for a baby. if it happens, it happens and they cant discriminate against you in your job. you should not have to choose between job and baby. Good luck with your decision making

rowingboat · 19/07/2008 18:55

Hi everyone, good to hear from you Roque, I'm glad you are feeling positive, you do sound much cheerier.
Herb, where are you??
Got a bit of a headache, just in from work and have to tidy up and bake for tomorrow, but not in the mood, so on the internet instead.
My DS just told me the fish pie I gave him is 'not yummy' and then five minutes later told me it had 'gone off'. I am trying not to laugh, because he is being a fuss pot - has been with daddy today, so having snacks, no doubt.

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