TTC for fabulous 40+

[xserialshopper]

I've decided to start the new thread

Anyone coming to join me?

I'm a bit worried I've made myself sound like some old lush who can't go a day without drinking! I was just wondering if everybody out there abstains after ovulating 'just in case'?

Ladymac, we enjoy a couple of glasses of wine and I find that I'm not really prepared to completely abstain for two weeks so we just have a night off every other night. I'm sure it would be better if I didnt drink at all but I got pg with dd at 42 and my habits were just the same then! There you are Rhetoricain, 42 is a fine age, you must keep positive thoughts and 4 months is no time at all. I was told that after 40 you may not actually release an egg every month so thats why it might take a little longer.

thanks gem2mum that's very encouraging. Have had wine and feel much cheerier not prepared to abstain totally either - but feel that there's no point in making life not worth living through various forms of deprivation!!

Can I join the thread? I'm 42, ds is 2 and we've been ttc #2 for about 9 months. I've just discovered today that I've got a short luteal phase, so spent much of the afternoon searching the net and reading up on how best to deal with this - MNers' advice included - and raced out this evening to buy Agnus Castus and Vitamin B Complex. Any other pointers?

hi rhetorician, welcome to the thread! i just want to give you a positive story. i am 42 and am now preg with #2 (it's a boy!). we were trying for 3 months and got lucky. having said that, i felt that the acupuncture i had at zita west clinic really helped boost my natural fertility. i also used clearblue fertility monitor so that i knew in advance when i am about to ovulate.

good luck

hi heron - that's a very cheering story I hope everything is progressing well. I'm having acupuncture with someone highly recommended. My rational side is struggling to see how sticking pins in my feet can help my lady bits but it can't do any harm so I'll stick with the programme. It's perfectly nice way to while away half an hour...

Hi; I'm 41 and a half years old with one DS age 2.9 and thinking about number two. Anyone fancy giving me the basic low down on what's the best way to go about it? (apart from shag lots ). I've skimmed this thread and seen references to a whole load of stuff that i've never even thought of or heard of, like acupuncture, clear blue monitors, FSH, LH and CD21, Mayan Abdominal massage, etc. WTF? Can I get a layman's guide to what's the best course of action to take? Like, I've seen mention of fertility doctors and various clinics. Should i be looking at that now or only afer I've treid for a few months and failed TC? Want all your best tips ladies please. Anyone else got an underactve thyroid as well as being over 40 and TTC? Cos i do and wonder if it'll have an impact. Anyone want to come round my house and sort out all the DIY and decorating so my Dh will let me go ahead and try for number 2? He reacons we need to wait till we've sorted the house out before we TTC, but frankly we've been in it two years and it's still a tip, so i'd rather just go for it.

Hello everybody, peeps.
Hi Peasoup, yes a bewildering number of options aren't there. You can always just pop the baby on top of a pile of washing or something, if the house isn't ready when you give birth.
Hi KiwiKat - that sounds like good advice, I have heard Ag. Castus lengthens the luteal phase, I think it increased progesterone slightly, if there is an imbalance. I was taking it when I got pg with DS - but for another reason, so it may have worked for me. How are you temping? Is it difficult for you to remember?
It's day 18 for us, not much happening, apart from the rain of course.
I don't care about alcohol, I just can't imagine life without coffee. Wah! DP has even hinted that if I really wanted to get pg I would give up. [sniff] How horrible! '

Morning all.
CD25 here (normally have a 27 day cycle) and I couldn't help myself, did a First Response test this morn. At first glance I thought it was a BFN but then realised there was the faintest of faint lines!

Not going to get too excited as I had faint line 2 cycles ago then mc'd at 4+5. Though would be nice birthday pressie as I will be 45 in 9 days.

Peasoup, if everybody waited to until their lives were in perfect order before getting pregnant there would be very few babies in the world!

Hi Rowingboat, thanks for the welcome. Today is CD19, and only my second cycle that I've charted, and I'm absolutely blown away by how much I've learnt by reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I keep finding out new things and pointing out interesting bits on my chart to DH, who is frankly sick of the ins and outs of it (no pun intended) - he's convinced that the only way to get pregnant is to 'do it lots'.

But I am a complete convert, and wonder if the vitamin B complex may even sort out my PMT - which can be pretty scary for anyone who comes too close to me; I can be completely unreasonable and more than a little tetchy! I've been getting this 10 days before AF for the last God knows how long, and what a coincidence that my short luteal phase is 9/10 days long!

Feel like Grasshopper at the knee of the master ...

Peasoup, forget us sorting your decorating out - tell your DH we'll come and sort HIM out if he doesn't get cracking on the baby-making!

Oooo! Fingers crossed Ladymac.
Kiwi it sounds like something's up with the 10 day PMT. I hope you notice a difference.

HI everyone; just wondering how everyone is doing. Just been to see my SIL's adorable new little girl; it makes you realise that it really IS worth all the effort.

peasoup FSH is Follicle Stimulating Hormone - it's tested on day 3 of your cycle, and the higher it is the harder your body is having to work to pop out an egg. It's usually taken as a rough indication of ovarian reserve, or how many eggs you have left. It's important if you are seeking fertility treatment as many clinics have a cut-off level above which they won't treat. But there are plenty of women who conceive with high levels. LH - luteneizing hormone, that's the one that makes your egg pop out - it's important if you are trying to pinpoint ovulation to maximise your chances (using OPK, or Ovulation predictor kits). These don't work for everyone (Including me) as the surge can be very short and/or hard to detect. Day 21 progesterone will tell you if you've ovulated or not. Your GP can do all of these tests.

Taking your temperature each morning is a pain, but done over a few cycles can give you a good sense of when you ovulate - it can't predict it in advance. Most people use a site called 'fertility friend' for charting - I've found it very useful although I've mostly stopped temping except around ovulation. I'd rather find out that I'm not pregnant by getting my period than by an early morning temperature dip. I'd recommend fertility friend as a good place to start - others here will have books that they think are good. Don't spend too much time on the internet - the message about conception over 40 is miserable, and a distortion - most of the studies are based upon IVF patients, who wouldn't be fully representative of the overall fertility of the 40+ population. I've come to the conclusion after tormenting myself with misleading statistics that there's no reliable way of predicting your own fertility over 40 other than trying and seeing what happens. Keep positive, keep trying and try to have some fun while doing it!

sorry for long post - that's the teacher in me coming out.

Rhetorician- no apologies needed for the long post; a teacher is jusy what i need on this seemingly complex issue! I conceived DS1 age 38 on the very first try so i'm hoping that's a good sign. Is there some sort of starter kit at Boots that can tell me the best time to "do it"? Or do I ask GP to do tests first?
Am apllying for planning permission for next load of building work on the house; once the application is in then I'm allowed to start trying according to DH!

hi peasoup; yes boots sell several different brands of ovulation predictor tests - some (the pricier ones) are more expensive than others. But I'd combine this with temping as if you have no idea when you actually ovulate (it isn't necessarily the day 14 that the biology books say!) then you'll be wasting money on pee sticks (you can get cheapies from ebay, but I found these weren't sensitive enough for me) and it will be a bit like looking for a needle in a haystack. Fertility friend will guide you to other less salubrious ways of indicating (not pinpointing - that seems virtually impossible) when you ovulate - things like the quality (ahem) of your cervical mucus, how horny you are, etc. You will become very aware of how your body works; but also try not to become a slave to it, as that gets very stressful, which isn't good.

I think conceiving 1st go at 38 is probably a very good sign; it suggests that your fertility at that point was excellent and that, sadly, isn't true for everyone at that age. If you know what age your mother had her menopause that will give you a rough guide to when you might have yours, but my GP told me in no uncertain terms that fertility is not inherited (I am glad about this, as my mother only managed to have me!!) But I am not a doctor.

Deepest sympathies about pp and building; been there, done that, hoping never to do it again - not that it was that bad an experience in the end.

Rhetoric- yeah imagine how a load of building work going on around me is going to help this 40 something mother conceive! My stress levels when we had the last load of building work done went right through the roof.
I'm gonna have to seriously try and keep myself calm and not get worked up, but builders are designed to work you up, aren't they? And I mean not in a good way
I'll have a look at this Fertility Friend site and start reading up. I've already been out to buy the nice underwear!

hi peasoup, just read your post and i just want to tell you that i used clearblue fertility monitor and i found it to be invaluable in telling me when i am about to ovulate. so there is a forewarning kind of thing.

we got lucky on the 3rd month and now i am preg with #2! i am 42 by the way

so good luck!

ooh its looking good Ladymac. Fingers crossed from a fellow Leo (I'm 45 in 3 days

heron22 Thanks, that's good to hear! Congrats on the pregnancy and I'll invest in one of those monitors.

ladymac, as they say here in Ireland, 'what's the story?'

Hi everyone,
peasoup it is quite a lot to take in and there are so many elements to consider that your head feels as if it is going to drop off.
You may conceive very quickly and never need to learn half of what I have had to take mug up - I hope you don't.
I also use fertility friend and recommend registering with them for the 'crash course' in how you observe the signs that you are fertile and not fertile. They send you some emails which cover most of what you will need to know, to be 'efficient' when TTC.
FWIW I do use the Ebay cheapies and they do work for me, in that I do get a positive result on around day 12 or 13. I do a test at least once a day from day 11 and because they are quite cheap don't worry too much about using a couple a day.
I have used a couple of different Ebay sellers for test, can look up their IDs if you like?
How is everyone getting on, what days are you on and any other details???
Ladymac any developments?
We are on day 21 now and I have a horrible cold, Wah! Have been boiling all day and felt sick a couple of days on the trot - mind you, had eaten a Greggs the Bakers cheese and onion pasty and doughnut for tea, so not surprising really.

hi all,

Can i join u? Haven't read whole thread yet but probably will tomorrow.

We are ttc no 6, I am 42 in September. Youngest is 15 mths today and i am still bf her first thing inmorn and bedtime.

No periods at all due to bf, so am gonna try cheap ov sticks from ebay this month, (on wk2 so far nothing) and if no ov, then i'll have to give up bf, and get stuck in.

Hi Liahgen, welcome, I shouldn't think you will have much trouble conceiving after six.

Hi all, and welcome peasoup and liahgen.

Good news to report. I did another test yesterday and had a nice strong BFP. I'm keeping everything crossed and trying not to get too excited after last time. Which is a rather weird state to be in.

I did think I might be pregnant as (unusually for me!) I haven't even liked the smell of wine for the last week or so, let alone the taste. Wondering what excuses I can make as we have a number of social occasions this week and I really don't want people to know this early. Had to refuse wine and brie last night at my parents' house, two of my favourite things! So all ideas for your best 'I'm not drinking because...' excuses welcome.

Peasoup, I also found the Fertility Friend website really helpful. I was hopeless at temp taking at first but entering data everyday made me remember. Plus I found it weirdly comforting to have a graph of myself!
Liahgen, I second rowingboat. The only trouble you might have, with 5 children already, is finding the time, energy or indeed the inclination to have sex!

Sorry, forgot to say welcome to Kiwikat too. I took vitamin B complex to regulate my cycle after m/c, don't know if that's what did the trick.