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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

TTC and 35 +, all those who are worried their ovaries are not as sprightly as before

1000 replies

DarrellRivers · 20/06/2008 10:27

After 18m persuading DH, we are finally (v gently ) TTc no 3.
As I am now 35, am convinced my fertility days are behind me.
Anyone in a similar position and needing to share support?

OP posts:
jaype · 28/07/2008 17:24

Thanks everyone - I feel bad as we already have two lovely children (and one of each at that) aged 2.5 and 4.5 so I shouldn't grumble. I'd just rather get all the 'having small child' stuff out of the way now rather than stringing it out. Don't think there's much changing of mind to be done, time to stick pins in the condoms! Mind you, seeing as we have so far failed through letting nature take its course for 7 months I think it's a bit hopeless. Someone tell me the advantages of having 2 not 3 children to cheer me up, please!

SlippersAndPipe · 28/07/2008 18:28

Hi Wondermum. at only 27 more "go's" before 40. That is really scary.

Jaype ((hugs)). I don't fully understand your dh's reasons. What does he feel unsettled about? Is it the new house? In the 9 months it takes for a baby to arrive, surely things will be settled . Keep talking to your dh and good luck.

Flowerfairy I have everything crossed for you.

Well, af arrived here on Thursday evening. I don't feel so bad about it though as I was ill during ovulation so it would have been a minor miracle. Dh and I are away on a romantic evening on cd12 so am hoping it will kick start a week of lurvvving so fingers crossed for this month.

wondermum1 · 28/07/2008 19:59

Advantages of 2 kids and not 3 - one never feels left out! 2 become best friends, (hopefully) and you never get to hold hands with 3 at a time... I think it's great to have 2, you are blessed - if you have a third that's wonderful too. I think you will have a third actually, can't guarantee it, but you seem to really want it and am a great believer in if you really want something then eventually it comes to you.....

summerbird · 28/07/2008 20:04

hoorah you really are wondermum !! jaype as i have said before, my DH always says that we have to work hard in life for the things we really want in order to appreciate them

flowerfairy · 28/07/2008 20:55

Jaype i hope you can work things out with your dh. I don't think my dh realises the importance i place on having another child sometimes. Remember (as i try to sometimes, in less obsessive moments) that you are blessed to have the children you do. Who knows that the new house new baby saying might come true, when you are both relaxed about it.

Summerbird i've felt like that when i've seen my ssiter a few times, when she is very tired and nipples are bleeding. Makes me appreciate the sleep i get.

flowerfairy · 28/07/2008 20:58

Forgot to say tests still sitting under the bed and am trying to remain calm that af is sometimes a bitch and plays these mean tricks on me. Will try to wait until at least a week late, though can feel myslef weakening as the days without af go by. Sure it will come soon as keep getting niggling stomach pains.

summerbird · 28/07/2008 21:40

I cant spot a single symptom, i dont feel any different and have had no implantation bleed at all, and AF is due in a week. LOL just think this time next week i will prob be in pain with PP cramps!!

I had a really romantic vision today as i was walking home from the gym. My friend has just had little piglet as you know and if i conceive soon, mine will be a year younger. I had visions of us all going camping/holiday cottage together and having the kiddies playing so sweetly together whilst we all sit outside the tent sipping wine on a hot evening. tho you just know the reality is that the kids will hate eachother and pull eachothers pigtails!!!

flowerfairy · 28/07/2008 22:58

DR are you still waiting for af? Has your bag arrived yet?

i'm just off to bed and will be like charlie with his bar of wonkalicious chocolate, just having a peek in my drawer and maybe read all of the instructions on the box again. Can't take the cellophane off dh will hear.

feeling very bloated too tonight. sure af will make ana appearance tomorrow, when my friend is round.

At least i can go on holiday and not worry about should i drink or not.

Original poster
DarrellRivers · 29/07/2008 08:18

Hi everyone, yes period arrived this morning, but a longer luteal phase this cycle so feel more positive.
Have remembered that TTC takes some time, so need to be patient and sit in for the long-haul.
FF, quite exciting in that no period yet.Fingers crossed.
The bag is great and saves my back.

OP posts:
summerbird · 29/07/2008 09:01

DR however you are being very positive about it - just what i like to see. this month you can do all the things you wont be able to do when PG

FF fingers crossed for ya!

flowerfairy · 29/07/2008 10:11

DR but like summerbird says you can do all those things like drink, eat and be merry. So glad you are being positive. I do feel so much calmer this month it's amazing how much better you feel when you are not in that treadmill routine of work.
(Apologises to all those who are at work for bragging)

wondermum1 · 29/07/2008 10:19

Darrell - my period arrived on sunday and reading your note made me feel more positive because I was down in the dumps about it - but you're right ttc takes time and just because it happened immediately first (and second time for me) doesn't mean it always happens like that...so fingers crossed for us by next month we will be up the duff and as Flowerfairy says, you can still have a drink for the next four weeks at least!!

saturdaykid · 29/07/2008 11:38

Hello everyone, I'm new here and to be honest am starting to despair so just wanted some advice! I'm 35 and have been ttc dc1 for 20 months . Had a mc last feb but since then nothing. I've got the digi ov test and seem to be ov every month (although my bbt never changes, weird, huh?). My DP has had tests and I've had initial blood tests and everything seems normal... but still nothing! Don't you think it's strange that I mc'd once, but apart from that.. nothing? Have an appointment with hospital next month for further tests, but am really starting to feel like it's not going to happen for me - I mean, 20 months is a LONG time ttc, isn't it?
Any suggestions/encouragement welcome,thanks for reading! PS, I'm starting to worry it's because I spent most of my twenties/early thirties smoking and drinking myself silly - have given up now though

summerbird · 29/07/2008 12:38

welcome saturdaykid we are all very supportive here so you are amongst friends!

my MIL told me it took her 3 years to conceive my DH, she was in her late 20s and it then only took her 9 months to conceive his brother. It also took my mother 2 years to conceive me. I just wanted to let you know that it can take a long time but can still happen. The longest i heard of was 10 years!! I dont want it to sound like you are in for the long haul, but although 20 months feels like forever it is probably very common.

If you have been checked out by your docs and all is well then there should be no reason why you cant in the future. Good luck with your tests next month.

flowerfairy you are such a stirrer!!

wondermum1 · 29/07/2008 12:50

Hi Saturday Kid

I am also new here. I had a mc in April - it was an accidental pregnancy as I had my first child in November last year, pretty much as soon as we tried to get pregnant. So, you're wondering my point I guess - well, since we miscarried we have also been trying for a second with no luck - which is why I feel for you and understand how you feel (although I realise how lucky I am to have one baby, I really do). To make you feel better, I was still smoking and drinking up to when I conceived my first - then I gave up, I was 37...if you're not smoking or drinking now, then you are doing the right thing.

I think going to hospital next month is best you can do and it should make you feel positive. They can give you clomid which makes you ovulate - not that you aren't ovulating, but I think (and correct me if I'm wrong), the drug makes you ovulate more than one egg a month - apparently 40% of couples conceive in first three cycles of clomid. At least you are doing something, so don't despair.

The fact you got pregnant shows you can do it - I also think that stress hinders pregnancy (which is I think what's going on with me), so relax and be hopeful that the hospital will help (they will) and feel that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

saturdaykid · 29/07/2008 13:40

Hi summerbird and wondermum, thanks for replying and for the welcomes - you've cheered me up already! I know you're both right, it's just hard, as everyone here knows, to keep positive sometimes when AF turns up yet a-bloody-gain, isn't it.
Sorry about your mc wondermum - it's the pits, isn't it (understatement). I didn't know that about Clomid, but will ask about it. Anyway, good luck everyone

jaype · 29/07/2008 16:29

With all the talk of mc's, feel really rubbish about moaning now. saturdaykid - it took my mother in law 8 years to have him, then she popped out two in two years!

flowerfairy · 29/07/2008 16:36

hi saturday kid and sorry to hear about your situation.

summerbird-moi,a stirrer!

evening to all, am off to see mamma mia with my mum tonight. She seems to be making a real effort just lately to make sure i don't feel like she has no time for me or my family since sister's baby arrived, which is really sweet.

flowerfairy · 29/07/2008 16:40

Jaype i know what you mean, i always feel ungrateful when i've been wallowing in self pity and other people's sttories on here help to keep it in perspective. Though we all have bad days and we all have the right to feel how we feel and as they say it's good to s.hare

dharma · 29/07/2008 16:58

saturday kid - sorry to hear about your mc
jaype - on the bright side, you do have two wonderful kids! I have one and am already talking about having 3 kids by the time I'm 40 - dh thinks I am crackers, and wants to take it one step at a time (secretly think he is hoping next child will be a girl so he can stop there!!)

I do have a question - sorry if it's been covered b4:

My cycle is 26 days, and I did an ovulation test today (day 13) and it suggested I am almost at the peak day (first reponse test and there was only a faint 2nd line).
so if this is right then this means that I don't have 14 days post ovulation - only 12 (assuming peak time is tomorrow). Is this 'not good' and should I work on lengthening it by doing acupuncture or something?

Would be glad for any advice. I vaguely remember it being said that the period between ovulation and AF arriving should be 14 days...

saturdaykid · 29/07/2008 17:43

Eight years, Jaype? Blimey! No, don't feel rubbish (but thanks for sympathy), I guess at least I managed to get pregnant, so it's not all bad (in that I must be ovulating) - am trying to keep positive anyway. I keep hearing lots of stories of people who conceived after years of trying, or in their early forties and it gives me hope. Mind you, it does seem like every fecker I know is getting duffed up at the mo, which doesn't help!! It's good to be here where people know how it feels. The worse thing is my DP, in the first flushes of excitement when we first decided to try, told everyone and their dog about it including all his work colleagues that I've never even met (the eejit), and now I feel like the whole world is now thinking 'oh, poor thing, must be barren...'

summerbird · 29/07/2008 17:54

saturdaykid dont worry about that - my DH's friends all pity me that i have to BD with him every other day!!

and all of my mates seem to be sprogged up too, every single fecking one of them - then my cousin announces she is PG and i go mad inside as i know it wasnt planned and she doesnt even like her hubby (he is a pillock) - grrrrrrr

wondermum1 · 29/07/2008 17:54

Dharma - you're fine with a 12 day luteal phase. As long as it's not less than 10 days. Hope that helps.

Original poster
DarrellRivers · 29/07/2008 18:06

dharma, 12 days is fine, my last was 10d , so i am happier it its better than that this cycle

OP posts:
SpangleMaker · 29/07/2008 19:25

Hi all, my it's been busy in here since I last looked in, it's great there's a little gang of us here to support each other.

Welcome saturdaykid sorry to hear about your long & difficult journey ttc I'm sure you're due some good luck soon though

Darrell at AF but good you got a better luteal phase. Do you find your temps tie in with when you think you ovulate? I'm pretty convinced mine have a 2 day delay. I've bought ov sticks this month to test the theory.

wondermum I started my period on Sunday too so we are cycle buddies

Just as I decide to lay off the pressure on myself I'm starting to get it at work! Basically, when I joined the team I'm in, three of them had young babies all the same age, and they were saying that I'd joined the team as I wanted to get pregnant I told them I'd better be careful how I phrased that to DH! (most of the team are men)

Now one of the three has announced she's pg with #2, another hinted to me that he & his wife would like another and virtually asked outright when am I going to join them in round 2 of team pregnancies?! It would be fun I guess, could be a standing item on team meeting agendas

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