TTC and 35 +, all those who are worried their ovaries are not as sprightly as before

[DarrellRivers]

After 18m persuading DH, we are finally (v gently ) TTc no 3.
As I am now 35, am convinced my fertility days are behind me.
Anyone in a similar position and needing to share support?

My Dh is really strict too
He won't let me open any Christmas presents before Christmas day and stuff like that.
I think that sounds a masterful plan

Hmmm sounds like the same man!
Mine won't even let me have a Christmas tree before Christmas Eve, bah humbug

I always state that past midnight on Christmas Eve is time to open one present, but he is having none of it.
He does get me my tree when I want it, and it is usually the first tree on the street
I love my Christmas tree
I think I'm going to reduce my pressure more, it would be lovely if I was pregnant in time for Christmas, that's months away, I should be able to manage that

That's my plan too. I had my first proper month of trying over last Christmas and thought it would be such a nice start to the year etc.... oh well. I've been thinking lately my impatience is probably not helping so have set my sights on Christmas.
I'll still go to the doc's in a month or two if nothing's happened though just to check there isn't a medical reason behind ftc.

Here's to a christmas BFP [chink chink mulled wine]

Cheers! [chink, glugs down last alcohol fo 9 months]

Goodnight, i'm turning in
good luck with CD32

Goodnight, let's hope AF stays away this weekend

Oh no, am so upset. Have just moved house (went surprisingly well!) and because dh says he feels unsettled about it, he wants to lay off ttc for a few months. Seeing as we are on month 8 and nothing has happened, plus I'm 35 later in the year I am devastated. Not helped by the fact I'm on cd12 today and was very hopeful for this month as getting out of the city has made me a lot more relaxed - until now! Desperately trying to think of ways to convince him otherwise. perhaps a sex ban would do it???? Only joking, but maybe not? Any tips in making him see the light - it's not as if anything is likely to happen anyway given our current rate of success.

Jaype
what about saying that you won't actively TTC, but not use any contraception, so a more neutral position, and then secretly plan when you have sex to be the most effective.
My DH is not actively TTC, I am, it was the compromise position we agreed on.
We were never very good at having sex everyother day for how ever long it was.It made it really stressful.
Good luck, and remember a few months is only a few months, it will go quickly
Spotting a bit here, but as long as period holds off for a few days, that puts into a much better time period for ovulation next month so am a bit happier than friday.

Jaype I'm sorry, I can imagine how you must be feeling. I think Darrell is right, perhaps you could tell him you can accept what he is saying but suggest that you don't use any contraception, and just see how things go. [If the contraception would be down to him he may get fed up anyway!] I do think the hard part about all this is that men don't feel the sense of urgency we do and perhaps don't appreciate the depth of feeling we have. My DH is (now, after a long time) happy to actively TTC, but I think that is more down to wanting me to be happy than any rush on his part! Perhaps a little 'relaxation' on the TTC front may even help, just for a month or two? You do hear all these tales of people giving up TTC then getting pg.

Back to CD1 for me - 32 day cycle - a record. I (and FertilityFriend) thought I'd ovulated on CD14 but I can't have done - if I did, then I conceived & had an early m/c or CP but the 5 BFNs rule that out! Looking back I noted some pains on CD18/19, and that would fit with AF arriving today.

This has been a really stressful cycle for me and I'm fed up with obsessing about it, but I don't know how to stop - tips welcome!

Jaype, it took us 6 m of actively trying for DD1, and then sex once in 1 month of just not using contraception for Ds1, so conceiving doesn't have to involve lots of sex.
Spangles , you have been TTC now for 7 months now, why don't you go to your GP to get some tests started?
Have you got a GP that you like seeing?
It might just get things going in a gentle manner.

Darrell, I'd agreed with DH we'd give it one more month then we are going to the GPs, but I might see if we can go this cycle as I hear the most common tests are the CD3(?)/CD21, so then we would be in time for the first test.

Not got to know any of the GPs. DH's best mate's BIL was one of the partners but he retired recently - shame, as although it might have been embarrassing as I see him at their family events, I like to think he'd've got things moving for us if necessary.

Definitely need to do something, am to say I burst into tears this morning when I saw a really pretty young mum taking her baby for a walk - wondering if we have missed our chance

I've decided to start doing yoga again - I used to really enjoy it but got out of the habit. I think it'll help chill me out and make me feel more in tune with my body

Oooh I just remembered, one good thing about this guy retiring & not being able to see him about (in)fertility is that his wife, DH's mate's sister, said to me a few years ago, "So, are you & MrSpangle planning a family?"
Me

Evening

Sorry to but in, read a few of your messages - been ttc since I miscarried in April, and this morning (after being convinced this WAS the month), got my period - ruined our weekend (ofcourse).

I have a baby boy who is 9 months old, but am 37 nearly 38 so I desperately want another one.

I am going to see my gynie this month to get myself checked out (ovulation etc) and to see if there is anything we can do to push things along...

Am I mad?!

I hope that we all get pregnant very soon...

Hello wondermum, welcome to our merry band. Sorry to hear about your m/c. I wish you lots of positive vibees from this end.

Anybody been tmpted to test this weekend or have you all been enjoying your weekend in the sun?

Summerbird how was your weekend with your friend? Hope you could keep strong. [hugs]
Hope all that baby cuddling will help to go towards that bfp.

Forgot to say no af yet am cd30 and am beginning to wonder what has happenend to my cycles as they seem to have gone from being really regular to a bit hit and miss. Have not tested yet- still only cramps and aoccasional nausea but no hard evidence. Thing is with ds being 4, its now 5 years since my bfp and i can't really remember other than cramps and thinking af was coming, any other symptoms i had. Was also a bit thick and carried on for over a fortnight after af was due to test. Don't think cramps are quite as strong as they were then.

Hi all

flowerfairy i was fine actually, it was enlightening to see the other side of it (ie crying baby on a hot muggy day!) but she was so beautiful it got me even more keen!

jaype but i do agree with the other girls, i think a compromise is in order, my DH took a while to convince even though he does want kids, he is younger than me but appreciated that at my ripe old age (35) we needed to think about it a bit sooner. I think the girls are right, you could agree to 'not use contraception' but not discuss OV dates etc (and frankly every day for a week then every other day is a bit much ordinarily !!)

and welcome wondermum to the over 35s club!!

spangles i cant believe that woman!! my FIL kindly said to me that i really should have been starting to try a good few months before the wedding - er yeah like i really wanted to be throwing up in my wedding dress and not drinking pink champagne - thank you sir!!!

Welcome wondermum, and good luck! So, not much chance that I'll be allowed to continue without contraception, sadly - as the first two came along instantly (number 1 even snuck through a diaphragm!) the idiot is still of the view that I will get pg instantly somehow (even if months of trying now suggests otherwise). What's really annoying is that according to my Clearblue I am currently having the start of the hormone ov surge today (cd13) which is early as it's normally day 15. Maybe the extra luteal days would have made a difference? Will never know now

jaype i am sending you HUGE HUGS

Hi everyone, and welcome wondermum

jaype I hope you manage to sort things out soon. It's so hard when both partners see things differently. Perhaps you could explain to him how strongly you feel about this and set a review date?

summerbird glad you enjoyed your weekend, hope some baby vibes have stuck with you!

flowerfairy when are you planning to test???

Well, was okay about it the day before yesterday when he mentioned it first but today it has really sunk in (especially since he has started to say about waiting for a year) and I have been in tears all day, so i think it is fairly obvious . I even had to leave the gym when a cow&gate ad came on . The problem is that I have big age gaps in my family and have always been a bit down about this, so wouldn't want to have a single baby miles after the others. I also can't see myself wanting to reset to early mornings and no sleep once the current 2 get bigger and more able to look after themselves, plus it would be rubbish with work (am self employed)... Looks like two it is, unfortunately. good luck to everyone else, though - will just have to learn to deal with it, I suppose.

Jaype, what happens if a third was a mistake or do you not agree with that kind of thing? Can always mention it again in about 6 months time, how old are your kids at the moment???

I have now called my consultant and made appointment to have blood tests and also to discuss options. I am mad I suppose as already got a baby but time ticks on, and worked out that I have 27 opportunities of becoming preg before i hit 40 - which, I don't think, is a huge amount, just wondered what my options would be to give nature a helping hand...

Jaype I dont know how much of your feelings you have told your DH, but I really think you should get all this off your chest to him. I sometimes wonder how much men realise when they say 'lets wait another year' I know that the 2WW is bad enough for me. I am sending you lots of hugs and good karma :-)

oops that was supposed to be a