TTC and 35 +, all those who are worried their ovaries are not as sprightly as before

[DarrellRivers]

After 18m persuading DH, we are finally (v gently ) TTc no 3.
As I am now 35, am convinced my fertility days are behind me.
Anyone in a similar position and needing to share support?

"My great grandma had 3 kids in her 30's. One of them at 39"

My mum had me at the grand old age of 41 (back in the early 70s) - they kept her / us in hospital for a week as some sort of medical oddity! I like to think that if she could manage that, then there's hope for me...

Can I join in? have been on a few threads so far and have just given myself a breather from mnetting, as i know i was getting a bit obsessed. Am 35 and have ds aged 4 and am ttc#2. There are many reasons for leaving it so long and often kick myself for not trying sooner. Have been ttc for about a year on and off, gp said to go back in coulpe of months if no joy. AM waiting on af which should have arrived today, but not yet. Cycle is fairly regular but like you DR have had the most horrendous pms symptoms for 6 months, exactly the same as yours-boobs, nausea, funny taste. Have been taking evening primrose oil which apparently i found out helps with ewcm and have to stop taking it after ovulation. This has really helped with pms and am still smiling this month.
Don't temp or opk, just look for ewcm. But need someone to hold my hand so i don't get too obsessed. have been trying to convince myself that am blessed to have ds and it doesn't matter if he is my only one (oh who am i trying to kid, I want a baby)

Might try the evening primrose oil. Anything to stop the nausea. Flowerfairy - don't worry, my nearest sibling is 8 years older than me and we get on brilliantly.

Took 18 months TTC DD starting when I was 35 and just found out am pg with no 2 at 38-took 1 month . Most of my friends have managed pretty easily at 35+. (including 43 and 45)

Wow, congratulations quickerthistimeplease (your nickname worked!), that's heartening news!

DR, flowerfairy - I too have had nausea and sore boobs as a PMS symptom although every month is slightly different. I can't work out whether they're psychosomatic (sp?) or not... I've not had even the slightest hint of a BFP so I think they may be. It's SO frustrating.

Flowerfairy - has your AF arrived? Have you tested yet?

Thanks for the ovary info, seems the jury is still out then, though beaniesteves snippet about an ovary possibly releasing an egg to the opposite fallopian was fascinating (well to me anyway, with my odd plumbing).

Glad to here there are people out there who didn't find the second time harder - I was beginning to despair.

Made sure and got my floss out last night, I thought piles were a bad enough insult in pregnancy so don't relish the thought of dental abcesses or teeth dropping out.

Thanks Spangle

LionStarr- one of my friends had an ectopic pg and lost a tube. She has since had a DS and is pg with no 2. Both times she didn't take particulary long to fall pregnant. Another friend has only one ovary and has 2 Dcs. It can def happen!
re the teeth bleeding- myb teeth usually bleed a bit when brushing but when I was pregnant it was a bloodbath esp when i went to the hygienist!

hello,
im 38 next month and we have been trying for no 2 since i ahd a MC in March.

think that my cycle is prety regular, although till now i have never taken much notice.

can any one tell me the best time in the cycle to concieve please?
read it was day 14 there abouts...is this right?

Hi Deanychip, it depends how long your cycle is - have you tried using an ovulation kit? I've just started trying them. It pinpoints when your body releases the LH hormone, which means then that you will ovulate within 24-36 hours so that is when you are most likely to get pregnant.

If you go here: www.babycentre.co.uk/tools/ovu/

You can type in the date of your last period and how long your cycle is, and it works out when you are most likely to be fertile. I've been using that for a while (with no success, I have to say, but hey ho!)

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage in March. I had one last June. My cycle has changed since then, too - it's become a few days longer.

Good luck. xx

I am in the same position as you flowerfairy I am 35 ds is nearly 4 have been trying on and off for nearly a year.

GP told me to buy me a persona kit and to come back after a year but I can't afford the kit and my cycle is so irregualr that I have no idea when I am fertile. I don't know whether to go back to the GP, I feel a bit embrassed to admit that I can't afford the persona kit as I think that she will judge me for ttc when our financial situation is dire.

Hi Reethi96

Think your GP gave you some very duff information and you were thus fobbed off; such kits are of no use at all if the menstrual cycle is irregular.

I would return to the GP asap and insist on a referral. You should be referred to the gynae as a matter of course; common causes of irregular cycles are thyroid imbalance and hormonal imbalance (a condition called polycystic ovaries is a common culprit). Don't let the GP mess around any longer!!. If periods are irregular the chances are you are not ovulating regularly if at all. It can be treated but you need a diagnosis first and foremost.

You will need to be persistant in order to get answers. Do not be fobbed off!!.

Attila

Reethi, I don't think you should worry about what the GP thinks about your financial situation, it isn't any of her business!

You could try the Fertility Awareness Method (described in Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Welscher) - basically it involves checking cervical mucus, temperature & cervical position. You can get a thermometer for under £15 I think. Temping won't tell you when you are fertile but it give you an idea when you've ovulated. But checking cm is probably the best guide to fertility, and that's free.

sorry, as i said i have never taken any notice of my periods before, SO can you tell me how do you come to the number which denotes your "length of cycle?"

mine is a 2 wheeler with a lurvly gel seat, gets me to work and back nicely...have never measured it tho

Yes maybe I should go back and ask for some tests. My cycle has always been irregular, it is only regular when I am on the pill. I think I will buy that book as I tend to have an idea by body changes as to when I might be ovulating but I thought that you needed to have sex before you ovulate so I think I need to educate myself as I'm probably having sex on the wrong days anyway.

Hi Reethi,

Re your comments:-
"Yes maybe I should go back and ask for some tests".

There is no maybe, you need to have some blood tests done. As your cycle is irregular these can be done according to calendar days. You need a day 3 (this measures LH and FSH) and a day 21 test (that measures progesterone).

"My cycle has always been irregular, it is only regular when I am on the pill.

Snap!!. Even more reason to my mind to get a referral in my view.
The pill if anything can mask symptoms of the underlying problem. The pill bleed is not an ovulatory one; it happens as a result of stopping the hormonal pill.

Snap again!. In my case my irregular periods were caused by PCOS.

"I think I will buy that book as I tend to have an idea by body changes as to when I might be ovulating but I thought that you needed to have sex before you ovulate (my words here - NO!) so I think I need to educate myself as I'm probably having sex on the wrong days anyway".

Don't buy into this idea that you're having sex on the wrong days!. Any rigourous timing of intercourse is a mistake and can do more harm than good. If your periods are not regular then you are likely to be not ovulating. I would suggest as well you don't buy the "taking charge of your fertility" book purely and simply because your periods are irregular. It will not help in such circumstances.

You need answers, don't delay any longer.

Attila

Reethi, after a year of trying it would be reasonable to be referrred by your GP so get back to your sugery.
I have found fertilityfriend very helpful in looking at my cycle, but agree, do not get to obsessive about it, and I still think you need to go back to your GP as the number one thing.

Hi Deanychip,

The convention for measuring your cycle length is to count the first day of your period as day 1.

OK so the best of my knowledge is this...

In the theoretical 28 day cycle (most women's cycles are longer or shorter than this) ovulation would occur mid-month. It's often quoted as being Day 14 but, really, this is a myth - even in a 28 day cycle it could vary from say around Day 12 to Day 18 or even later.

So to get the best chance of conceiving you have to work out when you ovulate - but bear in mind it may not be the same day each cycle, as cycles can vary considerably. The part that varies most is the phase before ovulation; the number of days between ovulation and period starting stays more-or-less the same for each woman (generally between 10 - 16 days).

There are a number of ways of checking fertile signs, ovulation kits are one but be careful as they are easy to get wrong and are no good at all if your cycles are at all irregular.

hope that helps, good luck!

Oh and I don't have a (two-wheeled) cycle at all, so maybe that's where I'm going wrong!

Hi deanychip welcome to the merry band. Have not had af yet and think she is just toying with me to raise my hopes. (Have just written message on other thread-AFdue in 7 days) nipples extremely sore and sports bra is helping alittle, except when i get cold, abit of chaffing (sorry if tmi). hope everyone is ok today.

So glas when you find others in the same boat as you it's always a comfort.

BTW haven't tested don't keep them in the house as i know i would be tempted and devastated if it were bfn, would rather af turned up to ruin my day. But that's just me. Seem to recall that with ds that lines were very faint even when i was 14days late with him, so will just keep waiting, but let you all know one way or another.

hmm, ok, worked it out based on your explanations and its 26 days there abouts.
I do get "ovulation pains" every other month, so i will let myself be guided by this i think.

ovulation kits...expensive yes?

will jsut play it by ear. im not too hopeful as i dont get pregnant easily and i stay pregnant even less

not sure if it will ever happen for me again now.

kinda "accepting" of this sad fact now.

deanychip- read on another thread somewhere about hypnosis cd-i'm guessing from what i've read it's to do with positive thoughts and visualisation of implantation.

Hope you don't feel down for too long, i've just come out of a bit of a depressive stage and am determined to be posititve now. hope this helps you.

not down just realistic.

im a big believr in everything happening for a very good reason.

Sorry you're feeling sad, Deanychip. You could be right to 'play it by ear' though - I'm sure obsessing too much is counterproductive (wish I could listen to my own advice).

Re ov pain, in my obsessiveness I've read up about it and apparently different women can experience it before, during or after ovulation. With me it's a sharp pain that lasts for a few hours and I think it is around the actual time of ov, so if I can I make sure I do the deed asap!

Flowerfairy, good discipline not keeping tests in the house. I've got 2 CBDs in my drawer and keep thinking of the expense to stop me using them - DH reminds me we could have Sky for the same monthly cost!

welcome BB, a new fresh thread, so hopefully some new fresh BFPs, fingers crossed.
I am now D24, but will not do any testing until D32 (bitter experience)
i also have no tests in the house
cannot be trusted