Very nervous to TTC after a miscarriage but am going for it

[Bella23]

For those who want to look to the future and TTC again I would really like some support, advice etc.
I thought we needed a new thread with positive energy (yes have turned into chanting hippy) so that we feel we are moving forward rather than dwelling on what has already passed.
The only thing I can concentrate on at the moment is that next Wed is the day that me and DH can start trying again (this will be 2 weeks after ERPC).
Anyone else ready to try again?

[Bella23]

Oh dear Littleweed - he has no idea has he ?!!
They just don't understand

[dramaqueen72]

aaaaagggghhh! what is it about men? why oh why do they open their mouths in the first place? littleweed i'm so sorry he said that. duh. my dh said today he was jealous of the amount of sleep i have had....i'm literally recovering from my D&C. so funnily enough i am sleeping abit more than usual, but cant he remember WHY i'm sleeping?! shall we line 'em up and shoot them?

[hereshoping]

hi dq and bella and all new to me on this thread
im ready to move off the m/c thread - need a more positive one too
ive got an erpc tomorrow after 2nd missed m/c in 6 months but just know i need to ttc again. as for the spring chicken bit - my consultant told me its my age at 35 - this has made me stubbornly feel I will do this and have another baby - my mum had 2 in her 40s
I am going to try and chill and not get obsessed again though
lets be positive and hope early 2006 brings happier times for us

[Bella23]

Welcome hereshoppping. Consultant told you it was your age - bloody hell - a bit harsh and over the top I think! Where I work 3 people I know have all had kids when they were 40 so the consultant can go shove it !!
I have started ov tests and think I will ov in the next couple of days, not banking all hopes as cycle and hormones may be screwed after m/c but you gotta try haven't you!
Totally determined myself also so lets make sure this thread has lots of positive vibes

[yingers74]

can I join? Just just found out I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks. am sad but ok and would like to try to concieve as soon as poss. Any advice would be great? This was my second pregnancy, first miscarriage, it was a huge shock as I guess you always think it won't happen to you.

[Bella23]

Yingers welcome, and sorry for your loss.
Totally agree with the whole "won't happen to me". I realised these things happen but because I am generally quite a strong person I thought this kind of thing wouldn't happen - well I got a sharp dose of reality on that one!!
I am afraid I can't offer any advice on the whole TTC as I am afraid I am stumbling along in the dark at the moment. I am just taking the track of lots of bding as thinks hormones will prevent any ov tests from telling me the truth. DH and I are being determined this month with a kind of "we will beat this" attitude. Seems to be keeping my positive attitude up but realise that if nothing happens this month then I could crash and burn in the emotions stake! Oh well will have to deal with that when it happens I guess!

[Sallie]

Yingers - I had a mc in Sept and conceived again in Dec. Had the mc at around 6 weeks and felt the same - wanted to get straight on with ttc again. Whatever is best for you but do give yourself time to get over it.

[mishi1977]

hi all ..still no af so no idea when will be oving etc..but was getting horrible pains last night in stomach/pelvic area and round my back so think af may be baout to rear her head....first one after mc have always been a nightmare for me..sigh..sorry thats quite a self pitying post but got no one else to share with..lol

[yingers74]

Yes am trying to stay positive about the whole thing. One lesson i learnt is that I certainly will not be telling everyone I am pregnant as soon as i find out myself. Having to tell everyone you had a miscarriage is difficult, their sadness makes your own worse.

Sallie - your story certainly gives me heart. I think I will give it a month and then start again.

I just hope ttc does not turn into an obsession, LOL, but of course i know it will!

[Sallie]

Yingers - my first cycle after the mc was all over the place but things soon settled down. Agree about telling people - this time have only told dh and a good friend in RL. But its good to be able to chat on mumsnet as there is always someone who has been through a similar experience. I too never thought it could happen to me....and was surprised, even though it was a very early mc, how much it took out of me physically and mentally. And DH, although he is wonderful, and is also a doctor, wasn't really that understanding.....good to hear that you have your mother with you. Take care

[romilly]

wow - this thread's getting busier. its great to see so many stong, positive and brave ttc'ers here! greetings bella, and dqueen.

littleweed - OMG! that comment was about the most insensitive thing i've heard since my other half's classic this weekend (sorry but i just refuse to call him dh at this moment in time)
i'm not going to go into it here cause this is the POSITIVE thread! but suddenly i understand Germaine Greer's quote "everyone needs a wife - nobody needs a husband"! i know, i know, we'd miss them really - but venus and mars, eh?

mishi - my erpc was on the 29th Dec - two days before yours - so will be interesting to see when we both get first AF again

hereshoping and yingers - so sorry, thinking of you both and glad your here to join us (and hope all goes well tomorrow for you hh)

last but definitely not least, isn't it great to hear someone like sallie - 3 months later and pg again - how many weeks are you now sallie?

[Sallie]

am nearly 7 weeks now so still early days but feeling "quite pregnant" now so fingers crossed. I am glad that hearing my story helps and look forward to reading some happy news on this thread. The mutual support is amazing.

[Bella23]

Yes agree that Sallie you are exactly the person we need to hear from - it so helps to hear of people coming through the otherside and with such great news

[Sophmum]

Hello all, just like to add that I am in the same boat. I had a missed m/c in November at 11 weeks and an erpc, then had af on day 29.

We started ttc that cycle and I really thought I had conceived but af arrived on cd28.

We are now trying again this month, on cd13 so hopefully bding will work this time.

I'm very nervous that for some reason I won't conceive at all (although with dd and my mc baby I conceived very quickly), as though something has gone wrong with me. Also very nervous of course about early pregnancy again. I was so shocked to m/c as I had no inkling at all that anything was wrong.

Good luck and good vibes to all of us.

[dramaqueen72]

well look at us all! you all give me great comfort
sophmum; sorry to hear of your missed m/c. they are so horrible because of no inklings anything is wrong. each time mine has been a huge shock. if its any help, i concieved dd on cycle 3 after my first erpc. i'm currently waiting for af aftr this erpc, intending to try and break my 3 cycle record
yingers we learnt the hard way too, re telling everyone. this time we told no-one, and next time no-one til after the 8/12wks scan.
and my ttc has always turned into an obession! LOL

[cat82]

Ooooh gosh. Just wanted to say i think you're all very brave and fantastic women, who have gone through a horrible experiance with enormous courage and i have upmost respect for you all.

Best of luck
xx

[yingers74]

Since my miscarriage, my mum has been making me tonnes of chinese herbal soups, grew up with them so don't find them too yucky but she also has decided I should take up an exercise regime to make sure I am fit and ready vessel for the next time I conceive. And to think I was worried that I would become obsessed.

[dramaqueen72]

oh can i borrow your mum? she sounds great!

[mishi1977]

yingers i want ur mum to
my mums view was oh well never mind its normal to loose a baby....mmm it might be normal but it doesnt make it any easier...grrr

[Bella23]

yes Yingers your Mum sounds a dream. I didn't tell my Mum I was pregnant and haven't mentioned the m/c. Its hard as sometimes I would really like to tell her but she is just such a worrier that I couldn't cope with her "not being able to sleep with worry" like she normally does when faced with any of her kids having a problem. She lives 200 miles away so it been ok keeping it from her her but I have been temped a few times to just pick up the phone!
Anybody else having daily crying sessions? Am being really positive everyday but always seem to have at least one 10 min cry, there will always be something to set me off. I am feeling better but these outbursts seem to come from nowhere! Anybody else feeling this or am I really a loon as I secretly suspect?

[romilly]

bella - you are not a loon and not alone either.
i had a quite embarrassing public blub that came from nowhere last night. it's not my normal style - but i'm not going to beat myself up about it - i think these huge waves of sadness will just appear from time to time, but hopefully we'll all have something to be happy about in the not too distant future.

[Bella23]

Thanks Rom - good to hear I am not the only one blubbing. I also am not known for public crying so all a bit frustrating! Yes do try not to be too hard on myself but sometimes it is a bit difficult!
Anyway enough down talk - how are you this week?
Totally right - things can only get better

[romilly]

bella - isn't it tomorrow when your two week's is up? i am just waiting for AF as i decided to go the one cycle first route so i will know dates and start using persona. it is frustrating waiting for it though. do you do any of the temperature taking stuff?

[Bella23]

Yes tomorrow the 2 weeks are up although we did have a sneaky bd on Sunday. Naughty as wanted to follow advice but we both were in the mood and it seems so long since we'd actually done the deed that I thought it best to give in to temptation! Everything "down there" seemed fine afterwards so no harm done I think.
I started OV tests on Sunday after purchasing bumber pack last week. They seem to be working so I think I will ov in the next couple of days.
Yes for better or worse we are giving it a go as I reckon if I get pregnant this time round I will worry it will be too soon and if I don't i will worry there is something wrong with me so either way there is something to fret about - total madness!! Oh the joy
When are you expecting your AF, any idea?

[wendy11]

Bella23
Just to let you know that I still have weepy sessions, four months after the loss of our baby boy. I don't think there are any time limits on our need to grieve. Just take each day as it comes and don't feel guilty about crying. I always feel more at peace with myself after a good cry.
Good luck