Very nervous to TTC after a miscarriage but am going for it

[Bella23]

For those who want to look to the future and TTC again I would really like some support, advice etc.
I thought we needed a new thread with positive energy (yes have turned into chanting hippy) so that we feel we are moving forward rather than dwelling on what has already passed.
The only thing I can concentrate on at the moment is that next Wed is the day that me and DH can start trying again (this will be 2 weeks after ERPC).
Anyone else ready to try again?

[dramaqueen72]

hello gigi, so sorry for your loss, and sad story. i hope you are successful ttc very soon.

yingers, i got my opks online (theres a link somewhere in the ttc threads.....) very cheaply, and they are fine to use too- so if you dont get lucky this time, remind me to look it up again so i can save you some cash!
Gigi- the control line and the LH surge line need to be the same colour or the surge line can be darker, for it to mean O. however i guess if you have symptoms too it must be right around the corner!
i used to have reg 28days cycles....but since dd -and i had to count back thro my diary to find it out- they have been anywhere between 26-31 days long. not hugely irregular but irregular enough for me!
mishi, glad you knew what i meant.... there just isnt enough information about how quickly the uterus lining repairs itself or not ( not that i canf ind anyway)..... i do know that some people have definately gone on to be successfully pg without af tho. but i do know if anything went wrong next time it would ony take one nurse/Dr saying 'well you should of waited...' for me to totally lose it. but confusingly again, i know for a fact that waiting any longer than one af (one af 'proving' your body is working well/normally) is all to help the dating and not really for our benefit -unless we are still emotionally not ready.
i feel, like somebody said, if i conceived this cycle before af it would be amazingly lucky.

oh wanted to share some statistics i read yesterday.
25% of women get pg first cycle trying, 50% within 3 months ttc, and the last 25% take 6 mths +.
i found that positive - so we all have a fabulous chance of conceiving in the next 3 mths
i hope that sounds good to you guys too!

[Gigi39]

Thx for your well wishes Mishi & Dramaqueen.

Mishi- got a light LH surge line last night then darker line this morning (still a bit lighter than control line). Just tested again now and the LH line is barely visible. Do you think the surge was yesterday morning or my cycles are still screwy?

[dramaqueen72]

gigi - could be you arent there yet......or could be that indeed your cycles are still messed up.
But infact peering at blue/red lines under five different lights and never being able to make your mind up is part of my 'fun' of ttc!!!! i'd test again over next few days to just make sure..... do yours say anything about testing at similar time of day? mine warns me to not test before 1oam or after 8pm as the Lh is not detectable then... or something like that.
HTH

[Bella23]

Welcome Gigi.
I've done ov tests this month but were a bit hit and miss as not had Af yet since ERPC.
DQ I am with you on the "raw womb". Worryingly I have experienced some brown spotting since ttc in the last few days so am now worried that if I did conceive that there may be something wrong as in my body is not ready. I am almost hoping that AF arrives now so that at least I know everything is in working order!
Anyway hope you ladies are having a good weekend

[yingers74]

dq - will def look up that link, certainly don't want to be spending 20 quid each time.

[Gigi39]

been testing after 5 PM each night with no LH surge..then light line and darker (almost matching control line)..then lighter again and gone...now light again
i probably should have tested twice a day, maybe i missed dark line in AM.
pains in my stopmach, i suspect were O pains seem to be getting better. maybe AF now would at least straighten things out, thanks!!

[romilly]

Hi Gigi - so sorry to hear what happened (very similar to my experience and i am 38 - so like you, want to get on with it)

best of luck with everything

[dramaqueen72]

hey ladies
gigi, as far as i know, the opks give you the 'perfect matching' line to let you know its youre 24/36 hr 'window' to ..er..get busy!!! so if you saw a darker line, and then its faded, you could still be in that window..... its all horribly confusing i know. i think its meant ot be. and the more i learn about my cycles/fertility/body the more confusing it becomes....you know 'a little learning is a dangerous thing' very true in this case! i do hope you either get Af very soon to help straighten things out or a BFP on your pg tests
bella, i also got some light kinda spotting after sex a few days ago, but recent sex have been okay after. i think its just us being 'naughty' and getting up to early ttc poss alittle too soon after our surgery. i reckon we're fine. i almost -almost!- hope nothing comes of our half hearted ttc these few weeks and that af arrives pronto. i dont know, i'll find it more reassuring once i've got a 'normal' cycle behind me. BUT who knows. maybe while we're only half trying it'll be the magical time. oy, its very 'messing with your mind' kinda stuff isnt it? damned if we do, damned if we dont..... sigh.

[girlfromipanema]

dramaqn, thanks for you msg on the other thread don't feel I can moan about my bad cold on that thread. It's too sad, can you believe how many from August? I saw they're starting a new due thread there - good idea.
I've spent w/end wiped out in bed with vile cold but at least had a lot of rest. Still blue but am still bleeding a little bit, makes it hard to really feel it's finished!But trying to be positive. dh dreamt last night about his exgf being in a taxi with him hugely pregnant and smug and he was so furious with her. I said it's just feelings about what happened to us coming out I guess. It isn't easy on dads is it? I think dh has just swallowed a lot of how he feels about this. can you believe that august thread. All ttcers are my inspiration can't wait to be ready

[Bella23]

Hello Ladies,
Well I had a great weekend, first 2 whole days without shedding a tear - ye ha! I met up with an old friend on Sat and had girlie cocktails and had a great chat, feel like I am slowly returning to normal.
Obviously woke up this morning worrying that if ttc has worked this month that I am a terrible person to go out and get slaughtered! MMM - so I like you DQ will half be relieved if AF comes. But exactly who are we kidding - its only half hoping isn't it??!!
GFP - hang in there as I totally understand the "still bleeding" part. Its awful as you just want it to be over and that is the final reminder that all is not complete. It feels like it goes on forever but mine took 17 days to go, felt like a month but did finish.
February tomorrow - BRING IT ON

[dramaqueen72]

oh good, glad youre hear Girl even if its 'not yet' i hope youre feeling ready to ttc soon. then we can obsess together.hope that cold buggers off sharpish!
oh yes Bella, help me! i cannot make my mind up if any ttc i have done already is a bad bad thing....or not. i want af to come, i dont want af to come......heeeeeeeeelp! going alittle stir crazy here!! several piples/spots on face today...which i usually only ever get about 10 days or so before af, so mayeb thats a good sign..no, but wait! that means any recent ttc will have been right on target for 'o'....see/ told you mind totally screwed up with 'right time' etc etc.....i think i am -ridiculously- concerned about dr/midwife reaction to not waiting..or 'doing it properly'.
wayhey for your cocktails! sound good.
for the first time in i dont know how long i took a 'proper' painkiller yesterday -cracking headache- i have been either pg or b/fing for SO long i havent been able to take any. rather impressed with how fast it worked!LOL
youngest dd actually starting to sleep thro the nights -mostly anyhow- it only took her 19mths..!!!! so feeling more and more human as each night passes.
i'm so sorry for anyone still bleeding, wishing it past for you.
heres to the very last day of crappy january, and a bright cheery feb/march.

[dramaqueen72]

(giggle) oh my spelling is AWFUL.....sorry ladies, i type faster than i think!

[Bella23]

DQ - I think you hit the nail on the head earlier on when you said "a little learning is a dangerous thing". I think that is half the reason why we end up driving ourselves nuts with what may or may not be happening!
Looks like both of us will be anxious before AF arrives, and with added stress of exactly when this month she will arrive I think we may be total fruit cakes by then
Lord DQ - 19 months to sleep through the night, makes me feel tired just hearing!!
GFP - can't wait for you to join us ttc - we need to share the madness around! Hope the cold clears up

[Twiga]

Just wanted to wish you all the very best with ttc again. Am just back from hols and was so sorry to read all the sad news on the Aug thread. Thinking of you and hope things aren't too difficult over the next wee while, lol x x x

[girlfromipanema]

Gigi, I'm so sorry for your loss, there are just so many of us .

DQ and Bella, I love your posts, when I am ready to come out from the bushes and peek meekly at the land of ttc far away in the distance I'm going to be so glad coz you guys KNOW EVERYTHING, I know that I will find it all here. I can't believe the stuff you know. I didn't even know that there was that much to know! I'm in awe of the sisterhood.
Going to bed with lemsip and a pile of self pity as big as Nevada. Sleep well all.

[dramaqueen72]

Girl, you made me giggle. i didnt know i knew everything, tho i have on occasion pointed out to dh i do.........
i learnt one heck of alot about ttc on a friendly american ttc board. and thro the likes of toni whatshername, the taking charge of your fertility guru. the only thing that keeps amazing me is how many people get pg knowing NOTHING about how it happens and when etc etc....
anyhow think my body must be 'waking up' again as today i had EWCM... (is this too much information i ask myself....) i dont know why i worry about catching the egg this month..casue its such a remote chance. but thats me, gotta have a daily worry!!
may your lemsip fix everything girl
night night

[yingers74]

ok, what is EWCM?

One other silly q, is everyone taking vitamins and folic acid while they ttc?

[dramaqueen72]

KNEW it was too much information! ewcm stands for egg white cervical mucus (mmm, betch so glad you asked now eh?!) and its the streeeeetchy sort that means O is around. super fertile sperm friendly sot of stuff!
i'm still taking my folic acid, its supposed to be good to take while ttc as well as during early pg. i also am on B vits to 'boost' my body and make me better after such a run down period. HTH!

[Bella23]

Ladies - it is February - PRAISE BE !!
I am sooooo glad it is February and we can turn our back on January!!
How is everyone?
Me - well going off into fantasy world of doing a test on Valentine's day - hell I am heading for a crash and burn or what??!!

[dramaqueen72]

woohoo february!!!!
bella i once set myself up to test on our wedding anniversary....i got so excited to tell dh it was going to be fabulous...........however,it was negative and i was in a foul mood all day, ending in arguement and tears. so......NOT a good idea to test on special days!!! pick a boring ol' monday or something!!!
hey if i test, and as i havent waited for AF, when will i know when to test to be sure? 4 wks after surgery? 10/14 days after O pains? oh nooooo, i dont know when to test!!!! help!

[Bella23]

Well you see that is the dilemma isn't it!
I am usually regular as clockwork at 28 days so that would be 9th.
I am going away for the weekend on the 10th so thought it would keep me occupied and then would test when I come back. You are right though maybe I will aim to test on the 13th if no sign of AF. I know chances pretty slim this month but you can't help but keep your fingers crossed!!
How about you - when do you reckon AF will show?

[dramaqueen72]

i have no idea! after surgery it can be 3/4/5/6 wks so i'm kinda stuck! i guess i'll test if no af by 2oth feb...otherwise if af is going to show could she hurry along now so i can get to ttc with serious intent! 'normally' pre m/c i had a cycle between 26-30 days. but i was b/fing dd and that throws it sometimes. if ican remember way back before dd, i was fairly reg, give or take a day.
oh dear.i have noticed dh is definately ttc....he seems aware that ttc sex should take place every two days......i think he has his hopes up, and because hes a man, he knows only half what i do about it, so he's going to think our chances are pretty good this month and be disappointed if its a neg. i will of course be disappointed, but really i guess i know its a slim chance already. just, like you, thinking about happy endings, and how we deserve some blessings after everything. so anyhow, if you were me, when would you test?

[Bella23]

Well it really is a question of how long you can hold out for before testing?
In my mind I have set 13th Feb now as testing day if no sign of AF by then. This will be 31 days after ERPC.
How long do you you reckon you can hold out for?
Waiting is such a killer isn't it.

[romilly]

Yes, thank god it's february bella! does anyone on this thread chart their temperatures? i can't remember and unfortunately dont have time to read thru, seem to remember wendy does? - i have a little question if anyone can help. does alcohol really chuck out your readings?! i had to go to a dinner thing last night and unfortunately the champagne was flowing yep, ouch head hurts today!...
anyway my temp this morning was right up - so that'll teach me.

[Bella23]

I haven't done the temp thing yet, am going to give it a go next month. I will be buggered if alcohol does throw the temp thing though as refuse to abstain all month!
mmm....free champers, that's the kind of dinner party I like!