calling old duffers or old up the duffers

[marinda]

By popular request (2 votes actually!) this is a thread for old duffers like me who are over the hill and TTC and for anyone who is old and up the duff ! I didn't suggest these terms so please don't get offended if you don't see yourself as a duffer but would like moral support , chat etc...
I am 38 years younh, have ds - 3.8 and have been TTC for 7 months ---aaaarggg!!!

Donbeam - lower age limit undecided-but if you feel like an old duffer anyway - TTC, PREGNANT or just feel old in your bones - feel free to join.

Pacinofan - i'e been using OVK and have not yer conceived but the best rule 9according to my Dr) is make sure you bd as moch as you can when you get the 2 lines as well as a bit befire this too (not worked for me yet though!)

Welcome Azure and congratulations ! Can I ask whether you 1 pg symptoms were different to 2 pg ones ? Every time AF comes, I have been convinced I was pg so would welcome some advice as have only been pg once and realise symtoms may differ for a 2nd.

Pacinofan - seems we've got lots of different advice on this, which may suggest that nobody really KNOWS (may depend on individual circumstances etc?) I think every day is good (more risks depleting the sperm) and would only do every other day if doctors advised because of low sperm count.

Donbean - good question! These things are so relative - when I started ttc at 35 I felt SO old; now anyone in their 30s seems to me a spring chicken. So come on ladies, we'll try to be liberal but who would we seriously just laugh at for joining this thread? Someone of 34? 32? 23?

romilly - sadly didn't manage Boots last night, but nothing will stop me this evening. BUT today I wore my new Chanel eyeshadow for the first time, and it is lovely. Sheer and almost weightless, and stays in place (almost too much; you have to blend very quickly). I swear you'd never guess I'm near-menopausal!

i do feel old in my bones yes and im 35 this year, planning baby no 2 for 2006/2007. Just at the planning stage at the mo.
Funnily enough, although medically i was considered "elderly primagravida" at 33 when i had ds im not actually!
My close friends and indeed my sisters have all had thier first babies within about 2 years of each other, all over 30.
It is the oddest thing, we have all gone through our late teens as friends, had fab social lives and holidays together through out 20's and now are all getting wed and having our babies.
There is about 10 of us!
So im already in a real life old duffers club!(although i wouldnt say that to them as they all still think that they are 18!
Any way, its nice to chat to you all,im sure you can offer me great advice when it comes to ttc in the next couple of years x

Having babies at 33 and 36 sounds ideal to me! Many of my friends got pg in their late 30s, and it happened really quickly for all of them. (My role is to balance out to the average, obviously.) One friend had always been undecided about having children, finally decided that for her 40th birthday she would have one go at IUI (with donor sperm). She didn't really expect it to work, just thought it would lay the whole issue to rest. Well, you've guessed - her little boy is now two years old.

I feel very peeved that my mates got all the good luck and left me with the bad but it just shows that all the statistics in the world - and all the tests, which in my case show nothing wrong - don't tell you what will happen to YOU.

Hello ladies, I've just been catching up with this thread - WOW isn't it great? I think we shall all bond brilliantly.

Our news is that dh has his GP appt for Friday, so I just hope he doesn't chicken out!

Marinda - will definitely keep in touch although I only get on here roughly every other day (and not at W/Es).

Have been LOL about make-up. What is SpaceNK? Sounds like something on the moon! We don't have make-up here in the Sticks, just mud!!

Love to all, Wifeof xxxx

Hi all. I'm 42 and my dh is 55. We're ancient compared to most of you but have a dd who's now 4 and ds who's 17 months. They run us ragged! I've forgotten what it feels like not to be tired but anyway... I conceived DD by using Persona. It's a fabulous device for finding out when you're ovulating. (I wouldn't rely on it as a contraceptive, btw.) Is Persona still available? As you can see, it worked a treat for us. Good luck and have fun trying!

It is ideal, thankyou.
We felt so so ready for ds in every way.
Mentally we were happy, settled and prepared, our house was nearing completing renovation works, professionaly and financially we were secure. Most importantly we had done every thing that we wanted to do as a couple, been together for 9 years and it was the next logical step for us.
I was in no way capable in my teens nor my 20's and in fact didnt really like children too much if the truth be known!
I sometimes worry that i wont have the energy for a second baby as ds has been incredibly hard work and at 18 months still hasnt slept the night through yet.
BUT i have gained so much from him and i love bieng a mum. I would have 10 babies if dh would agree and we won the lottery.

Hi sansouci, how great to hear your success story. I have used Persona with no luck yet but I find it invaluable. Critics say that you can get the same results from charting, but I have no faith in my body's signals and loads of faith in scientific little boxes with winking lights, so it's Persona for me!

Wifeof, your post made me laugh. Images of you with straw in your hair, daubing your face with woad... SpaceNK do mail order, btw...

I feel very old and hag-like at the moment and have suddenly gone all spotty - uck!! I hate January!!
I am just about to start using Persona as my cycles have been a bit erratic for the last few months (one of 35 days and then one of 26 days!! - usually 28/29 days) so am a bit confused now. Thought Persona would at least help tell me when I really am ovulating (assuming I still am). Any handy hints on it's general use would be appreciated. Fingers (but nothing else) crossed. Have egg white cm so am going to step up the bding now - if I can find the energy from somewhere and dh can stand to look at my spotty face! (idea - make sure it's dark!) - dd is being currently being a bit of a monster!!!!

Nikkichik, if your periods are irregular, it just takes a little longer for Persona to figure you out. You have to use it for several months at the very least until you get a little "0" shape on the screen during your "red days". This is the time to go for it. Morning, noon & night! Persona works by testing the amount of hormones in your urine but it takes time for the kit to get sufficient and consistent information on your cycle. HTH!

Hi. Iam 37 and TTC no.2. DS is 2 years 3 months and was conceived straight away. Have been tryin for no.2 for 8 months. Have been using Ov predictor kit for last 2 motnhs just waitng for the little blue line to appear this month. I have real probs charting temp just started this month but it seems to be up an down from one day to next so not sure how I can tell when the increase post ov occurs, anyone else had probs charting temp?

Marinda, with my first pregnancy I didn't have any symptoms before finding out I was pregnant, not did I with my second (which m/c). For the 3rd (also m/c) and fourth (this one!) I had more of a sense that I was pregnant, but I have always been sceptical about "knowing" and think it was all in the mind. I have convinced myself that I might be pregnant when not on many occasions. Not much help, I'm afraid.

For Persona users, I was also a Persona girl, and got on much better with it than temping. Weeing on a stick got very tedious, though. As well as looking for the "o" I also looked to see if there were two lines on the stick, which also indicates ovluation. Normally the day before my "o" the second line would appear very faintly, be strong the next and then disappear, and so gave a little advance notice of when ovulation was to happen. I know the day and date of when I conceived this time as it was the only time we bd'd that week (it was the day before my "o"), so we were very lucky.

Michaelangelo, it's hard to know without seeing your chart whether the temperature movements you are seeing are normal or not. Really you need to get to the end of the first month and see the overall picture. You will get lots of spikes from one day to the next, but that is OK provided your temperature rises after ovulation and stays higher for the rest of the month. The Toni Weschler book (do you have this?) is really brilliant at explaining this, or you could use the Fertility Friend website (I haven't used this but loads of women here do) which interprets it for you. Try not to panic at this stage - it really does take a little while to get the hang of it.

I can second that advice - the Toni Weschler book called something like 'Taking Control of your Fertility' is a must-read for anyone ttc. I learnt about it thru Mumsnet, but frankly wish i'd known about it about 10 years ago when i was a merely a mid-to-early duffer. Actually - i think they should put that book on school curriculums for girls because it would save a hell of lot of unwanted pregnancys too.

I haven't got the book I will have a look for it, thx

Hey ladies (fellow old duffers!) we are on the front page of the mumsnet website - WOW I think I should have a prize for starting it (scof, scof!!)
Michaelangelo - gosh you have been TTC for 2.8 years have you been to dr's yet ? I also like you conceived straight way with DS so can't understand why we are having problems now!! Have gnae quack appointment on feb 24th. By the way I am more of an old duffer than you as i'm a year older !!!

Wifeof - let me knoe what happens with the swimmers test- my DH is terrified by the process - he thinks he has to go behind a machine and produce the goods! I think you have 2 hours
between producing them and taking them to hospital - do you happen to know ??

Nikkichik I also feel hag-like and am going to a salon to have a take ten restructuring treatment- it's like an electronic facial than reduced droopiness in the face - good for Bells Palsy also (may help Jaberwocky if you are unfortunate agin!) then I am going to use Hester's treatment for line reduction - I just maust make the effort !

Still feel so AF and still she is not here. I bet she's going to be late just to wind me up !!!!
Can't wait for next cycle to start trong again - except i's hard on DH as he has to work hard at work so is exhausted at night !

Merlin are you there ? Have you had a scan yet ? I'm sure you have id due April. Did you have any of the old aged women's tests ? Like Amnio ? I was offered one at 34 but my midwife told me not to bother as risk of miscarriage was higher than producing a DS baby.

Hester - any more tips for looking jounger ie: Clothes. I have no dress sence and most of the time doss around in jogging bottoms and a sweatshirt type top - I know I need a clothes makeover. Have larg (ish) bottom and thighs and a bit of a spare tyre tummy !! Bust OK Upeer arms flabby at top - Knees knobberley - but calfs and ankles ok. Fairly nice feet ! Hope this helps your suggestions !

Countess Dracula are your there ? Anything to share ?? What a fab name !!

Hi marinda how are you? Had nuchal scan at 12 weeks and my background risk was 1 in 38. The adjusted risk was 1 in 109.Because of the earlier miscarriage we had already decided that unless the risk was really, really high we wouldn't go for any further tests. But we had a chat with the midwife who was lovely, and although she couldn't obviously tell us what do one way or the other, I got the feeling that she agreed with our decision. However, the waiting until the 20 week scan was nerve-racking, but everything all looked OK (as far as they can tell with these things) so hopefully all will be OK!!! April seems to be looming up a bit fast for my liking!!

hi
well hoorid old Af showed up, just as I was beginning to get my hopes up. have now decided to go to Dr and ask for tests......... but ahve no idea what I should ask for. ahve already had progesterone checked which was ok, so whats next? (ahve been trying for 1 year 1 mc in that time.)
cheers

Hi everyone, can I join you. Have DD 17yrs, DS1 15yrs, DS2 13 yrs, Step-daughter 8yrs, and DS3 nearly 5 months and crazily decided to have one more although previously thought that just having one childe with DH would be enough ( we both have children from previous relationships )
Took 11 months to get pg with DS 3, but I was n't too worried as it took me 13 months to get pg with DS1 ( when aged 21 / 22 ) although concieved DD and DS2 quite quickly. I think a lot is down to luck.
So we have been 'trying ' ( i hate that term - to me we have been BD with no contraception and seeing what happens ) for the last month.
Haven't got a clue what day of my cycle I am on - too busy with all the kids to pay that much attention !!

Hello - am surprised this thread hasn't been started before. Am 39 and pregnant with no. 3 who is due 2 weeks before my 40th.

ds is 5 and a half. dd is 2.9. First time took us about 2 months to conceive, 2nd time it just happened and 3rd time 2 months again. dh is 59 so probably wins as the oldest dad here!

Hi

Great thread. Im 40 in 2 weeks and have been trying for no2 for 4/5 months. Its hard somtimes so this thread will help me!.

Had problems conceiving DS. Had lots of tests and was about to start IUI. However was made redundant - and became pregantalmost immediately so think stress was big factor. SOmething to try to reduce if youre 'trying'

Lots of babydust to all.

SOmting Im trying to weigh up is whther to have tests again to see if everything still ok - also whether my chances would be better with some fertility treatment ie IUI. What do you all think?

Hi

Great thread. Im 40 in 2 weeks and have been trying for no2 for 4/5 months. Its hard sometimes so this thread will help me!.

Had problems conceiving DS whos one. Had lots of tests and was about to start IUI. However was made redundant - and became pregnant almost immediately so think stress was big factor. Something to try to reduce if youre 'trying'

Lots of babydust to all.

Something Im trying to weigh up is whether to have tests again to see if everything still ok - also whether my chances would be better with some fertility treatment ie IUI. What do you all think?

Marinda - should have said I am TTC No.2 and have been trying for 8 months! so not quite so bad, but also can't beleive why it's taking so long this time, I'm 3 years older so guess that has something to do with it and my cyle is not so regular now.

sorry Michaelangelo I read it wrong - 8 months is there - I've been "trying" for 7 months. A pain in neck isn't it.

Glad Merlin you have reduced chances of 1 in 109. How come the risk got reduced ? Do you know what factors are taken in to account ?

Welcome LextB - you seem one busy lady >>>>> My hat if off to you !

Mumfun - maybe give it a go for a few months first without - you never know it may just happen like last time as you obviously CAN conceive naturally.

Eulalia congratulations ! When is the baby due ? Have you had a scan yet ?

Littleweed - I totally stmpathise with your unwanted guest ! I bet her plan is to come to me next ! Doesn't she realise we don't want her ! Answer is yes she does but she arrives anyway - such is life >>>>>...........