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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

calling old duffers or old up the duffers

363 replies

marinda · 15/01/2005 21:05

By popular request (2 votes actually!) this is a thread for old duffers like me who are over the hill and TTC and for anyone who is old and up the duff ! I didn't suggest these terms so please don't get offended if you don't see yourself as a duffer but would like moral support , chat etc...
I am 38 years younh, have ds - 3.8 and have been TTC for 7 months ---aaaarggg!!!

OP posts:
TeaTime · 19/01/2005 23:24

Wow - this is a lively thread considering we're all that much closer to being past it - but obviously ARE NOT!! Just checking in to say I'm afraid my 'dot' didn't make it - but not necessarily age related according to the lovely Miscarriage Nurse who counselled us after the scan today. Just one of the unlucky ones. Really want to try again against all odds but am waiting for the miscarriage to take its natural course for the moment. Feel fine and reconciled - just a relief not to be in the limbo of not knowing. Will feel a lot sadder when the bleeding starts and I know it really is all over. Anyone as old as me (45) still ttc? Or any stories other than Cherie Blair to cheer me up?

Original poster
marinda · 19/01/2005 23:29

So sorry Teatime - Thinking of you ! A friend of mine is 45 (46 in February) and is due March. Think she conceived with IVF on her last cycle and was about to consider donor eggs. She had been TTC for 5 years and had 3 miscarriages - to me she is one brave lady !

Hope this helps !

XXXXXXX

OP posts:
bubble99 · 19/01/2005 23:29

Michaelangelo. Keep going! It took us 11 months to conceive number 3 - ended up with twins due anytime soon. I was also 37. Have you thought about using a Persona monitor (Boots sell them.)
They were marketed originally for contraception - you use urine test strips a few times a month and the monitor will give you a red, amber ( I think) and green light. If you were using it as a contraceptive, red would mean avoid sex - but when ttc red means 'go for it!' Just a thought - and a lot cheaper than buying OPK's each month

alwayssaythanku · 20/01/2005 00:42

Hi, new here. Just turned 45 with a two year old. Had a caesarian first and am thinking of another but another c-section is out of the question cause I couldnt do that again. Any VBAC's here? (vaginal birth after caesarian). I have to make my mind up pretty darned quick!!

littleweed · 20/01/2005 08:26

marinda - if Af arives at your house can't you pretend to be out?!
have started with the temperature taking today so at least I can prove to myself one way or teh other if my body is working properly.
this thread is really giving me the couragethat I need to remain optimistic. I'm usually a 'half empty' type person but everyone here is helping change that.

Merlin · 20/01/2005 08:48

Marinda - they measure the thickness of the skin (nuchal fold) at the back of the baby's neck. This is an indicator for Downs, and then that measurement combined with your age is used to calculate the adjusted risk. I think considering my age the risk was pretty low anyway, I've heard of much higher in much younger people.

To everyone else on this thread TTC it just makes me realise how lucky I've been, and I hope you all have some good news in the not too distant future - hopefully this thread keeps you positive!! Good Luck everyone.

Mumfun · 20/01/2005 08:58

Hi Teatime

Really sorry about your news. Its really hard. Big hugs

pacinofan · 20/01/2005 09:06

TeaTime - I'm so sorry to read your news. I was on the August club thread too and sadly miscarried at 5-6 weeks. Just wanted to let you know we are thinking of you.

motherinferior · 20/01/2005 09:11

Teatime - so sorry.

Merlin · 20/01/2005 09:40

Teatime - didn't read further down the thread - so sad to hear your news. Hope you're OK - look after yourself and take care.

hester · 20/01/2005 11:05

Teatime - I'm so, so sorry this has happened. Big hugs. xxx

Mumfun · 20/01/2005 11:16

Hi

Is there any site anyone would recommend on reading re fertility and how best to get pg in older mothers?

When I was trying before I found www.fertilityfriends.co.uk useful - they had some stuff on alternative treatments and recommendations on lifestyle designed to support IVF but also relevant to all women trying. WIll try to get a better link and post it. It is lovely site with very supportive people.One thing that I was interested in was that it was recommended to not use shampoo/shower gel with sodium laureth sulphate. Its an ingredient nearly always in shampoo that is apparently not terribly good for you and especially not good for fertility. Im using an organic shampoo at present because of this.

aloha · 20/01/2005 11:18

Sorry to hear your news Teatime.

Mumfun · 20/01/2005 11:19

link to alternative therapies on Fertility Friends. Hope it works

www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/board,14.0.htmlrks:

DecafArabica · 20/01/2005 12:16

TeaTime, so sorry to hear your news; sending you my commiserations.

welshmum · 20/01/2005 12:26

Pacinofan - I might be too late with this but when you have IUI they give you 2 inseminations on successive days just after you've ovulated. You then lie still for 20 mins with your bottom slightly elevated (pillow underneath) Might be worth doing that after you've had your own private insemination from dp......

welshmum · 20/01/2005 12:27

Teatime, so sorry to hear your news xxx

Portree · 20/01/2005 12:39

Teatime, so sorry to hear your news. It just seems so unfair sometimes.

Mumfun, already mentioned here is Toni Weschler's book and there is a website too which has lots of active and informative boards here . I did download the software and ended up buying it as I liked it so much. Useless now of course. If you are interested in lifestyle/alternatives you could try doing some of the Zita West recommendations and supplements. I don't have the site to hand but do remember it being very useful. Accupuncture is often recommended too. There has also been much hype in the US over a lubricant called Preseed - there's info about it on tcoyf.com.

With respect to when to seek out 'help', I think if you are fairly confident that you are doing the deed at the right time etc, then after 6 months is a good time to go to the GP. I'm sure that that is the recommended time period for the over-35s. No harm anyway.

Marinda, my DH has had loads of semen analyses and really there is no great mystery, just masturbating into a wide necked container then getting it to the lab within the 2 hour time period whilst keeping it at body temp - pocket, under arm, down bra. If you go private then you don't have the almighty dash to hospital praying for no accidents or traffic chaos (btdt). Your DH will be shown to a private room where there is, ahem, appropriate reading material, does the business into the pot, gives it to the nurse or whoever, then the sample will be analysed at the lab there and then and you can wait for the results (unless more in depth tests are done) or phone for them later the same day.

Portree · 20/01/2005 12:47

Welshmum, I was at UCH too.

welshmum · 20/01/2005 12:49

Portree - - where you at the RMU too? Did you have successful treatment there? sorry if I'm asking you to repeat information, thread is quite long now

Wifeof · 20/01/2005 12:49

Teatime - (((hugs))), so sorry to hear your news. Take care honey.

Portree - how do you go private? Do you go via your GP?

Portree · 20/01/2005 13:19

Welshmum, I was at the Assisted Conception Unit (ACU). Not sure what RMU is. Too many acronyms! And yes, I had successful IVF/ICSI on our first cycle. They are god-like in my mind. Are we both talking about UCH London?

Wifeof, the first SA was done through the GP - she wrote a slip for it and provided the container. Was quite stressful as we then had to get it to the hospital and the hosp only accepted SAs within certain times, traffic was horrendous and DH had performance anxiety so we were rushing. Quite farcical really.

To cut a very long story short, DH had a consult with a Urandrologist privately. It was unequivocal that we needed IVF/ICSI (unless we could wait for up to 10 years for things to get back to normal and I was 37 at the time) and it was through him that DH then did subsequent SAs privately at UCH where we had treatment. Now, I'm not sure if you can just ring up a private clinic and request a SA without first having a consultation with them. Don't see why not. Might be worth ringing around a few to see what they say. GP should be able to point you in the right direction, though ours was out of her depth and useless. The cost is about £90. I know my DH found it much less stressful than the mighty dash on the NHS.

Portree · 20/01/2005 13:21

Wifof, just realised, were you asking about a private semen analysis or IVF? I'm losing the plot and fear getting everyone muddled up. Anyway, IVF was private.

jeddah · 20/01/2005 13:21

teatime so sorry honey

BellaLasagne · 20/01/2005 13:28

Thanks Portree - I was asking about SA. Do you also know if you have to wait for it on the NHS?

By the way all, I've changed my name from Wifeof. I just had a strange feeling that I should do it before someone recognises DH......