calling old duffers or old up the duffers

[marinda]

By popular request (2 votes actually!) this is a thread for old duffers like me who are over the hill and TTC and for anyone who is old and up the duff ! I didn't suggest these terms so please don't get offended if you don't see yourself as a duffer but would like moral support , chat etc...
I am 38 years younh, have ds - 3.8 and have been TTC for 7 months ---aaaarggg!!!

Hi all. Marinda, I love this thread - well done and thanks!

hi jedds! how you doing?

Bubbles, you did make me laugh with your post about our Romanian patron. I know it's not a good thing and all that, but I LOVE how young she makes me feel. She's even older than my mum! Gilli, wouldn't you feel good with HER standing next to you at the schoolgate?!

Marinda, so sorry about your af pains. But they can be a very misleading symptom, you know... btw, I've had the dye up the tubes thing, and though it didn't go down as one of my favourite experiences, it's really not so bad. And yes, there is definitely a market for old duffers with their togs off, but sadly it is at the more bizarre porno end (along with the 'specialist' mags covering obese women, pregnant women etc YUCK YUCK YUCK) than at the page three end!

Whether you have to pay for IVF varies from area to area, though it is about to be standardised. At the moment, you usually have to go on a pretty long waiting list for free treatment, and there is an upper age limit. But you should find out what provision is like in your area.

Bonym, you must be sooooo fertile! Can't believe you deliberately avoided the moment of ovulation and still got pg after only three months - what a goddess

OK, here's my 'surviving at the schoolgate' tip for the day: a little Body Shop 'Skin Focus line minimiser' patted onto your lines and wrinkles. Allow to dry. Follow with with a little Boots 'Time Delay line smoother'. This can be done on top of or instead of make-up, and I promise you the results are remarkable.

Marinda, IUI stands for intrauterine insemination, it's something you can try before going on to IVF although I understand it depends on the results of your other tests whether they'll offer it to you. We were diagnosed with 'unknown infertility' after ours (including a hystersalpinogram which is were they shoot the dye through your tubes to check for blockages - sometimes offered as an alternative to laproscopy which is a small surgical procedure).
With IUI a sample of your dp's sperm is taken and 'washed' they then insert a thin catheter through your cervix high into your womb and put in the sperm.(can be completely pain free or not - have had both experiences - depends on how stressed you are and on the expertise of the nurse)This is all done during a monitored cycle so they know the best time for a poss pg to occur.
Success is variable. We've been very lucky with 3 pgs out of 6 attempts )although no 2 ended in m/c. It eld to one of my proudest moments - the consultant described me as 'biologically young'. so whatever's going on with my face, on the inside I'm a real babe!

Welshmum, I just love that phrase. Biologically young, so funny . I think I'm going to start thinking of myself in those terms. He's right too, a 50% strike rate is excellent. You must have been chuffed.

As an aside, last time our consultant shrugged and said 'pah, sperm, that's just the DNA, it's all down to your eggs'. Talk about pressure.

hi fellow duffers - how r u all today? esp. teatime, thinking of you for tomorrow's scan, i'm sure we all are.

welshmum - can i ask how old you were when you started the treatment - and where did you go?

sorry i've been out of commission - and playing away with a make-up thread, cause i am a self-confessed make-up junkie (ooh shallow). Plus i figured not letting myself turn into an old hag yet might all help in the ttc stakes somewhat.

hester - glad to see you probably hang out in space nk as well

marinda - lots of babydust and dufferdust to you for starting this thread which everyone loves

romilly, I am a complete make-up addict and SpaceNK is my temple. My latest find is the new Chanel eyeshadow-in-water suspension - have you seen it? Very pricey but soooo delicious!

When I had some bleeding with my current pregnancy I had a scan at 3 weeks and found that my right ovary is about twice the size of my left (and therefore 'younger' and more fertile) and that my pregnancy came from my youthful right ovary. Not relevant to anything but I thought it was interesting that my left side was ageing much faster than my right!

That's fascinating, aloha. I had no idea that could happen. [Wanders away pondering which ovary could be my 'problem child'.]

I was so interested I did lots of googling on it and found my left ovary was sort of age appropriate but my right one was really quite young! I am extremely right handed/right footed etc so wondered if that was connected.

Hester - thanks for the tip on the make-up for school gates - I shall get myself off to bodyshop straight away ! I usually too knackered to put make-up on when not working so when I collect DS from play group - I am hag-like - this can not go on - so i'll follow thw tip!
BTW when did you have the dye up the tubes job ? and what was the result ?
Quite a few of us seem to have ad IVI or IVF - sharing experiences makes it sound less scary !
Boobs noe quite as enlargewd now - so maybe my page 3 career may gave to wait a wee while.
Hope teatime the news is good if not we are here for you !

Romilly I was 37 when we started investigating what was wrong and I had her when I was 38 - pretty good really. We were referred to UCH - can't praise that unit too highly - fab women, really kind and gentle in every way.

Marinda, I had an HSG about two years ago. Uncomfortable, slightly unpleasant sensation but not too bad (and I am a complete wimp). It found no problem whatsoever - they told me I had a "lovely, glossy" womb with no adhesions or scar tissue. This was a big relief as I'd had PID in my 20s.

There is no technical reason why I can't get pregnant other than the fact that I am very, very old...

Just because there is 'no reason' it doesn't mean it is age related. I've had friends in twenties and thirties who tried for babies for years and years - had no 'reason' for not conceiving but just didn't. One recently had her first baby after trying for at least five years - conceived naturally. She started in her twenties! Have also just done a feature and interviewed two lovely women who tried for years from early thirties, had failed IVF then conceived naturally and quickly in late thirties after trying alternative treatments (reflexology, homeopathy and diet in one case, acupuncture in the other).

What's PID Hester ?

Another old duffer up the duff reporting in. I'm 38 and 8+ weeks pregnant. I had DS one month before my 35th birthday - how young that seems now. I was TTC # 2 for about 2 years in all and had 2 miscarriages in the time - who knows if it was age-related, or just plain bad luck? Conceived DS 2nd month of trying. I'm just hoping and praying that this little bean makes the distance. Best wishes to everyone here.

Romilly and Hester, despite being 43, I still don't know how to put on make-up! I walk past Spake NK and think, 'I wish I knew how to make use of all those lovely colours'!

You're right, aloha, there is so much mystery in fertility and conception. One of the things that's so hard about it - the lack of KNOWING, and the lack of control - but of course it's also the thing that keeps hope alive.

Marinda, PID is pelvic inflammatory disease. It's a nasty business, very painful, and can leave scar tissues in the tubes. I had two bouts of it, eventually cleared up with painkillers. I feel very lucky that it left no damage behind.

I had PID too, vile vile vile.

it's SO painful, isn't it? I've never cried during an internal exam before or since - not even during the HSG, Marinda - but being touched Down There with PID - blimey

Ms MI, if I didn't know that you are petite and have two children, I would think you were me

hester - have never been described as a goddess before - not even by my doting dh!! Have to confess though that I feel more like an old crock at the moment! That's the price of being an pg old duffer I suppose!
Bubble - yes - it seems as though the timing did work! We asked at the 20 week scan and they said 90% certain it's a girl! Hope they're right as I've already bought a couple of irresistible little outfits. Will be a shock if it is a boy but tbh we really won't care - we knew dd would prefer a sister to a brother and we know what to do with girls but we won't be disappointed if it turns out to be a boy.

Right folks, personal question here. Have been doing ovulation kits and today is 'the day'. My question is this, how often do we do the deed, every day or every other day, or does it not matter?! I have read so much conflicting stuff about how to maximise our chances, just wondering what you all think? Cheers.

So, can i ask what is considered "old" in the duffer stakes?

pacinofan, we got very lucky and conceived the second month of trying. the first month we tried every other day for the 5 days on either side of my estimated ovulation date. The second (lucky) month we did every day during the same time period.

donbean - 66 yrs old would be the upper bracket - hee hee

pacinofan - if u both have the stamina go for every day (according to the venerable prof. winston)

azure - welcome and nice to meet again (you kindly helped me out recently with your sound advice)

welshmum - thks - i'm glad you didnt say Llandudno or Aberyswyth cause that would be a bit of a trek for me

hester - did u go to boots yet?

Marinda - would love another (heart) but head says no: I'm knackered most of the time and I need time for the older ones as they are growing up. But b*dy dh won't have snip , and I had to have internal scan the other day (don't ask with what, girls!), and ws told that my ovaries are still shelling eggs like peas, so I have downed tools, so to speak! Not sure who'll crack first.....