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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

calling old duffers or old up the duffers

363 replies

marinda · 15/01/2005 21:05

By popular request (2 votes actually!) this is a thread for old duffers like me who are over the hill and TTC and for anyone who is old and up the duff ! I didn't suggest these terms so please don't get offended if you don't see yourself as a duffer but would like moral support , chat etc...
I am 38 years younh, have ds - 3.8 and have been TTC for 7 months ---aaaarggg!!!

OP posts:
romilly · 19/02/2005 16:13

p.s. marinda - being sick is good really, just stuff yourself with ginger biccies and enjoy!

TeaTime · 20/02/2005 23:43

Hi all, sorry dizzymummy, no experience of that situation - it sounds quite specialised so it might be worth starting a thread to see if you can get a wider audience.
Madness - I totally empathise with the 'if anything goes wrong it's my fault for being too old' feeling - it seems so unfair that women have this restriction on fertility when men can carry on fathering into their 60s. However I had a fantastic pregnancy and healthy son (first baby) at 42 so try not to worry too much. Now I'm 45 and the risk of m/c and all the other worries is much higher, but I still cling to hope that I can be one of the lucky ones.

Mumfun · 28/02/2005 13:10

Hi

Hope youre all ok

I got AF as thought I would so soldiering along as usual. DS as usual is getting up at night a lot coming up to the critical time so not too hopeful this month. DOnt really fancy a Christmas baby but will have a go anyway.

Have booked a fertility doc appointment just to ask them what they think - would any help be of use to me - I personally think Im just as likely to get pg naturally but want to cover all bases if I can..

Bye for now

MF

romilly · 28/02/2005 15:57

hi mumfun - sorry to hear you got your AF, but if you didnt want a xmas babe then maybe just as well.
will be interested to hear how your fertility appt. goes.

good luck.

where did all the old duffers go? hope the ones who got up the duff are doing great - hester and marinda

Original poster
marinda · 28/02/2005 17:23

Hi I am still here and up the duff (9 weeks now!). Just been so sick and tiredthough. Have scan tomorrow and booking appointment - so will report how it goes - wish meluck girls. Mumfun - go for a christmas baby - give it a proper go !!!!!
Any old duffer to report in ? How are you all ?
Hi Romilly - how are things ? Looking forward ti your news !!

OP posts:
pacinofan · 01/03/2005 10:04

Hi, I'm still here too, just got my AF but still soldiering on! DH always seems to be away at the critical time, even so I had convinced myself that we had hit bingo this month - felt sick, sore boobs, etc, then lo and behold AF appears! Funny how you can convince yourself you're in for a BFP isn't it? Ah well, least I can have a glass of wine now (went for lunch on Friday with DH and he was in total shock when I ordered mineral water THATS how convinced I was)!

Will keep trying, who knows, if we were lucky this cycle our due date would be early December - lovely!

Hope everyone all ok here, keep posting,

Helen

TeaTime · 06/03/2005 07:31

I'm still here too and have joined the cautious after m/c conception thread as well - lots of youngsters (not yet 40!) on there, as m/c hits indiscriminately which is an uncomfortable comfort for an oldie like me. Will probably be my last year of trying - saw my GP this week who has referred me to appropriate section of the hospital, so will get more specialised advice I hope.

DecafArabica · 06/03/2005 11:44

I'm still knocking around too, although I'm not sure whether I want to try to be an up the duffer again. DH is completely obsessed with his teacher training course. It IS very intensive but I think he is also completely avoiding the issue of whether we want to ttc. This is when being over 40 really matters--if I was only 35, say, we would have no qualms about deciding to put off ttc until he is more settled in his new career. But at 43 and a half, I feel I don't have much time to make a decision.

romilly · 08/03/2005 12:39

hiya marinda, teatime, decaf, pacinofan

marinda - i am doing ok thks, albeit a little stressed out. persona 0 day today (earlier than expected) so its busy time for me how are you feeling? any less sick?

Sliminside · 12/03/2005 09:23

Hi everyone sorry ive not been on for a while, i was getting a bit possesed by the computer haha Well the good news is i found out yesterday that im pregnant (over the moon). I only came off the pill at the end of december so im well chuffed it has happened this fast, ill be 40 in 2 weeks (great pressie)so my plan to have a baby this year is right on target, I`m so happy i could sing.

romilly · 12/03/2005 13:14

oh goodie

congrats sliminside!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what a fab 40th pressie. lots of sticky babydust to u.

Michaelangelo · 15/03/2005 22:36

I haven't posted here for a while , trying not to get too obsessed. But was so convince this month i was pregnaant (mineral water for me too) but af appeared this am. Feeling v low i know there are many reasons why you can have one child and then have probs ttc no 2 but i'm finding it v hard as every one else i know who had baby at same time (or after me) either has no 2 or is pregnant. Going to see doc next week its been 10 months now and i'm 37 so hope he'll listen. sorry for rant but feeling v low and there soen't seem to be much info on secondary infertility.

pacinofan · 16/03/2005 12:50

Hi Michaelangelo. Sorry to hear you're feeling low, me too. Just like you, I had convinced myself I was pregnant (sore boobs, slight nausea) then af arrived. Am currently on cd 15 and hoping we've managed it this month, you never know. I too am ttc no 2 and have been since August, like you I'm 37 and feel time is just passing so quickly. We did manage a BFP in November, then sadly miscarried. Anyway, will keep trying, at the moment I'm just trying to concentrate on our dd and trying to forget about ttc, hard I know though. Best of luck, Helen.

Michaelangelo · 16/03/2005 15:45

Thanks pacinofan , it does help to know there are others in same situation. I too am trying to concetrate on my DS who is loads of fun at the moment.

Nikkichik · 16/03/2005 16:19

Have been away for a while so hope you are all OK. Have decided to put the ttc on hold for a bit as we are about to move house/town and I am due to start a new job next month. DD has to go to a new nursery too. So, lots of changes and not terribly conducive to being pregnant. Will wait til we are all settled and then go for it. Went to the Drs. and had some blood tests - hormone levels etc. and all appears to be well. Also got the O symbol on the first month of using Persona so that looks positive.

noma · 20/03/2005 13:47

Nice to see so many oldies! Finally found the right man and at 40 had ds and this year at 42 had a dd its amazing what we can do, we are not ready for the scrap yard yet.

TeaTime · 21/03/2005 10:14

Great news Sliminside - I love to hear stories like that and can relate to the 'so happy I could sing' feeling. Best wishes for these happy days!!!
Liked your story too Noma - I found the right man finally and had ds at 42 but no dd yet!!! Might have to be happy with just the one if it doesn't happen this year (will be 46 in August).
Hugs all round and if you're under 40 please feel that you've still got time - you have!!

Mumfun · 22/03/2005 12:39

Hi

COngrats Sliminside - fab news

Sorry about others feeling fed up - Im a little but DS is very good fun at at the mo so also trying to concentrate on him.

Did go to see fertility specialist. Good advice I think. They are doing tests on me to se hormones working properly and full sperm tests on DH. If either dodgy we will go for IVF. If not to try another couple of months, then decide. Impressed by pregancy success rates of hospital - for 40 to 41 year olds they achieve 27% success per cycle - I thought would be much lower. But the sting in the tail is that only 15% of cycles lead to birth of baby. ONly found out recently that at 40 the miscarriage rate is 40%. Bit shocked by that - sorry if upsets anyone else. SO the IVF stats fit with the normal miscarriage stats - no worse.

Well will wait for test results and try again this month - trying not to drink at all to max chances but will see.

Luck to all

bayleaf · 27/03/2005 17:40

HI all - took me a while to find this thread - but I'm glad I have and its defintely where I belong - 41 yesterday, no chance of not being allowed in! I'm pleased to be able to say that 41 was 100% happier than 40 for me - as I'm now pregnant - and then I was 18 months into ivf treatment and frankly feeling low- not keen to be 40 - and then one of my oldest friends - who knew about the ivf, gave me a book on the peri-menopause for my b'day!
FOr anyone who has been on Mumsnet for years - hello again! I was a ( very!) regular for probably 3 years - until the logistics of being addicted to two message baords got too much and the ivf site won - doing 8 cycles back to back over 2 years means that ivf rules.... I gave up after pressure from dh after 7 cycles - then pushed him for one more - did chinese herbs and acupunture - and it worked!
I'm now 16 weeks and, having got through the tremendous stress of the first 12 weeks ( boy did I know about miscarriage stats...) and with a NT result of 1/8,600 - I'm now just a very happy bunny!
It's great that there are so many other oldies (somehow late 30s felt fine, 41 feels old(!))I look forward to getting to know you all...

Original poster
marinda · 28/03/2005 19:47

Hi Bayleaf I am a pregnant old duffer at 39. I am 13 weeks and had my NT last week and got 1/2177 - same risk as a twenty year old apparently ! God the morning and all-day sickness has been horrendous. Any7 other duffers feeling the strain of being pg ? Any advice etc... so gratefully received. Take care all

OP posts:
Mumfun · 29/03/2005 12:06

Hi Bayleaf - contrats and brilliant encouragement -try try again worked! SO good to get the 12 weeks over too.

Hi also Marinda - really feel for you as had DS at 38 and was sooooo sick. ONly thing that worked was reflexology - waled in at 5 months sooo ill and walked out half an hour later not sick any more. So do giev it a try. Also think it helps at 38 if you can stick to a healthy diet - cause I felt so bad could not stick crisps, sweets all the bad things. It really paid off in the end as I had easy preg and coped well afterwards with DS who ate for England and did not sleep through till 5.5 months.

Hope it gets better for you

MF

Pamina3 · 29/03/2005 13:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

madness · 31/03/2005 08:46

o well , there was me feeling smug; 41 y and pregenant the second month we tried. Now sitting here miscarriaging...
Well, not sure what to do in the future but who knows may be joining the thread again later

romilly · 31/03/2005 14:30

oh no, madness, so sorry for you hon. its a heartbreaking place to be. if and when you do want to try again - or even if you just want to come and get support from all of us who have been there, there is a thread for post-m/c ttc'ers.

here\link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=1366&threadid=61902&stamp=050331142635}

romilly · 31/03/2005 14:33

here