calling old duffers or old up the duffers

[marinda]

By popular request (2 votes actually!) this is a thread for old duffers like me who are over the hill and TTC and for anyone who is old and up the duff ! I didn't suggest these terms so please don't get offended if you don't see yourself as a duffer but would like moral support , chat etc...
I am 38 years younh, have ds - 3.8 and have been TTC for 7 months ---aaaarggg!!!

Thanks everyone - I had a lovely day.

Fingers crossed to us all!

Mumfun - don't worry, I didn't get wrinkly or senile over night as I had feared - everything seems the same as it did 3 days ago! Enjoy your weekend.

The very mature and grown up BL xx

Hi all hope your all well, need some advice please. I came off the pill just over a month ago and had a period straight away, my next period was due yesterday but theres still no sign, ive going to the loo alot even getting up through the night but i am on a diet have been for 5 weeks so it could be that, what do you think the odds are of me falling pregnant this soon is it possible ?

Hi Sliminside - I had the going to the loo alot thing very early on in pg- Have you tested ? Maybe leave a couple og days if you can wait and then test - a difficult task I know - Good Luck !!!

Where are all you old duffers ? Very quiet recently. Well I am now 7 weeks (nearly) and am getting ms regularly - oh the joys !!!!! Also STILL going to loo alot at night - effect of progesterone on body so bladder thinks it is full when it is not !

Hi Marinda,

I was wonderig where everyone was too - thought I'd somehow managed to kill this thread off

Anyway, how're things with you?

We 'did' dh's swimers test last week and the letter from the GPs last night said the sample was 'not normal and needs to be redone'.

Help!!!! What can this mean? I know it doesn't necessarily mean that it's all over etc but that it could have not been good enough to test, but I'm worried sick now.

Doesn't help that I'm cd29 and have just got a BFN even though I've got the most enormous boobs!!!

Any advice from anyone greatly appreciated,

Thanks, BL xx

Yes Bella been there with the sore large boobs and the sickness for 7 months prior to when I concievec. Infact the month I did conceive I just thought AF was due - could NOT believe I was pg. As regards swimmers test - I think they have to have the sample ina certain amount of time ie"Fresh" and if it isn't fresh enough they can't test - Tryin ringing and asking - I would. Hope that is helpful it is the only advice I have at the mo. I am sick sick sick and sooo tired - 7 weeks now . have gp appointment tomorow - Hope I don't get Emma's diary. Keep posting everyone with your news =- me and Bella need some company !! Anyone else tired and feeling sick and pg or TTC ?

Hi miranda your so lucky i cant wait to get pregnant even if i do feel sick, i dont think i am though get some spotting this morning looks like its time of month for me although i was like this with my son so you never know, have ever heard of the saliva ovulation test i ordered one today online, just wondered if anyone had tried it. Good luck miranda at the docs

Thanks Marinda,

Not brilliant news from the doc but not catastrophic. Dh is sub-fertile, which is actually a bit of a relief because we thought he might be totally infertile. The fact that there were live swimers doing what they should be at all was a major surprise to us.

There are things we can do to improve his count but this will take a few months to take effect. Meanwhile I've been ticked off for using OPKs!! We've been told to relax and just enjoy ourselves and not to try, which I know is common, but how on earth do you 'not' recognise your fertile time after months and months of recognising all the symptoms???

Aaaarggghhhh!!! BL xx

Hi

All the best Marinda for docs and hope you feel a bit better. The only thing that stopped my terrible nausea in pg was reflexology - walked in at 5 months still terribley sick and walked out well - highly recommended but they are very careful in early pg and some may not want to treat you till 3 months. Hope you can get swimmers stuff sorted BL - but time stuff is frustrating.

Had really relaxing weekend - was hoping for positive pg outcome as last time pg came about during a holiday but dont feel pg this time. THink DS doesnt want siblng as very time fertile time comes up he decides to get up nearly every night (have to be fair and say valid reason nearl all the time)but dont feel it gives me much of a chance when body tired.

Anyway still in that weied 14 day or so time when waiting to see if the miracle might have happened this month. Was thinking today my body will have already decided but I wont know for several days. Last time pg I felt really grumpy and was sure I had PMT so dont think Ill really knwo till AF due. Lucky people who can tell earlier than this.

DO keep chat coming - its great

BFP....
not posted on this for a while, got too obsessed (already thinking about names etc), and got disappointed when nothing happened for the first month...
Anyway, just did a test and actually feel a bit scared now ..Only 41 but still think it is madness, also had bad experience with other 2..(emergency cs and induction with forceps delivery and know this one will neeed to be induced at 40 weeks if nothing happens before that)
Anyway, just have to tell dh some time, he is a bit stressed out at the momnet wioth other things so think I should wait for a few days????

Well done madness - join the club - I am 7 weeks and soooo sick and soooo tired. How long did it take in the end ????
Sliminside- I don't regret being pregnant but the nausea is driving me to distraction as it the tiredness - I moaned when could not get pregnant and am moaning now - but at least it is for a different reason. Good luck to you - it WILL happen. Hester (a regular on TTC thread is pg at 40!) Bellla that advice about ignoring fertile time - I say is bollox - it worked for me except I did not really rely on OPK's just my own guesstimate and BD a week either side of fertile period. Read thAT opk'S CAN BE VERY INACCURATE HOWEVER !!! KEEP IN TOUCH ALL

just wanted to congratulate hester - munnzieb told us the great news.

marinda - you certainly seemed to have sprinkled some babydust on this thread. sorry to hear you are feeling so sick and tired but its good to know that should wear off after the next few weeks (in most cases!). its all good signs that all is going well though, so don't knock it! i know you weren't. best of luck with everything - guess you have probably got dates for your first scan by week 12. how exciting. look after yourself and get plenty of rest when you need it.

congrats to madness too -

hi to all the other duffers, i do check in now and then but must admit i am obsessing about OPK's mainly on the ttc after m/c thread - we're all equally nuts after everything on that one!

Here's an old duffer checking in again. Decided to go for the op after waiting nearly 3 weeks for a natural m/c. Had it on Friday night and was out on Saturday morning - no pain, bleeding stopped really quickly. Back at work and trying to put it behind me - but I just felt so much happier (and younger!!) when pg. Hope it will happen again this year (will be 46 in August) but not sure how much further to push my luck.

Congrats to Hester although I imagine this is a scary time - good luck and hugs to you.

Hi

What a mixed time.

COngrats to Hester - how thrilling but scary.

Hugs to Teatime - very sad but at least you got it over and can move on

Sorry to Bella - didnt realise what BFN meant - what a pain- Im waiting for my BFN shortly.

Take care everyone and keep chatting

As an official old duffer (am 38!) I thought I'd let you know this A week last Friday I had a very strong BPF - hurrah and very excited. however, subsequent tests got fainter and fainter and then on the Wednesday, I started bleeding heavily! So can only conclude that I had a very early miscarriage. Feel a bit better now but couldn't stop crying when it happened - poor old dh didn't know what to do with me. Anyway, onwards and upwards and keep trying I guess! have booked a Doc's appointment to try and talk about what's going on and get myself checked out - have been ttc for 10 months now!!

Hi Nikkichick,
Sorry about your disappointment. I've had two of those 5 week m/cs (before having ds at age of 42) but I hadn't done any testing for either so the doctors have never really believed me. In a way not having any hopes raised made them feel like a late and very heavy period - very unlike this time round when I had a due date and midwife appointments etc. Not even being forty yet I think of you as a young duffer!! You have plenty of time - just keep going for it!

Nikichik, just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear your news. I know it is of no consolation, but what you are describing happened to me in December. I too had a BFP, only to miscarry a week later. DH and I were so upset, particularly as we had told our families. I know a lot of folks think it mad to tell so early, but when I was pregnant first time around I worked as air cabin crew and grounded myself straight away. It seemed that 'cos I was having to announce to the entire company I was 5 weeks pregnant, why not tell family too? We never stopped to think about miscarriage, and we were lucky to go on and have a healthy daughter. This time around we weren't, and I doubt whether we will feel confident about telling folks again until much later.

Take things easy, really hope you are feeling better soon.

Helen

Thanks all, am feeling better (but very aware of impending 39!) and chatting about it on Mumsnet has really helped - taking strength from knowing that you are not alone sort of thing. Fortunately we hadn't told anyone so didn't have that to worry about. Have subsequently told a few people what's happened but what can they do other than be sympathetic. Have decided to try and stop obsessing about ttc and take dh's approach of 'if it's meant to be it will happen when it happens!' Frustratingly obvious and easier said than done, but we have already got a beautiful 3 year old (as of yesterday) dd so should be concentrating on her!

nikkichik - i was really sorry to hear your news (and teatime). there were an awful lot of us around that time . Btw, when is the impending 39 - mine's impending too.

where's marinda? hi and hope you're doing great!

Am 39 in April!!!! I really, really wanted to have another baby before I was 40! - could still happen I guess. I actually wanted to be pregnant before dd was 3 (and I actually was for a short while!) but can't do that one now since she was 3 yesterday! Sorry to hear about anyone elses m/cs - it sadley seems that it's more common than you think!

Nikkichik - you've got more than a year then - think positive! there is a great thread called 'nervous to ttc after a m/c' which is full of support and immensely positive, when you are ready you should drop into.

Hi Romilly, I am doing OK and am 7 weks pg now. Benn to GP and fortunately did NOT get given Emma's Diary. Feeling very sick...... (aarrghhh) which is restricting me somewhayt and very tired other than that OK.

Nikkichik - keep positive - It happened once it will happen again - Keep posting folks!!!

nikkichick, funny, I also wanted to have my children before 40 y, It seemed to be some magic age, beyond which I would/"should" not want to have more children...
Now 41 and just pg
Must say I'm more scared about it all this time round; If anything goes wrong, well, it's because i'm too old...

Hi everyone, hope it's ok for me to join this thread. I used to visit this site a lot but haven't been on for ages! I am an old duffer also (38) and wondered if anyone can offer any advice??

I have been ttc for 3 yrs (have one dd). Had a laparoscopy followed by surgery to remove adhesions caused by a c - section. Has anyone had this and successfully conceived afterwards?

I am afraid of an ectopic preg as have been told there is quite a high risk of this eek!!!

Hi all,

Just a quick and final update. After my BFN I ended up with AF finally showing up 7 days late. What an awful week. I was not convinced I could be pg but even so was having some strange symptoms (enormous bbs, loads of CM etc) which made me think it might be possible. Needless to say I was distraught when AF showed up on Thursday.

Dh and I are convinced its because of stress; of getting the news of his tests, and me using OPKs and other means to find the right time. We now think our GP was right because of this, i.e. we shouldn't be ttc as impossible as it seems.

So, I've decided to stop posting on here (for now at least) to see if that takes my mind off it and helps us to relax. We know it's going to be very hard - how do you simply forget everything you've been thinking about for months (or, in my case, years) on end?

I just wanted to thank you all for your support on this and the other ttc threads, and wish you all the best, whatever your situation, and loads of babydust ...

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(I'll probably give in in a matter of days and check up on you all, but for my own sanity must not post!!)

So as much as I love you all, I must say a fond goodbye for now....

LOL BL xxxxx

hi dizzymummy - 'fraid i cant answer your question and a lot of the old duffers are a bit quiet at the moment! so maybe you should post a new thread to see if anyone can help - if you havent done already. good luck!

bye bellalasagne - and best of luck too

marinda - so glad you didnt get the dreaded diary again. hope its all going well for you.