TTC after loss part 6

[Figtree11]

Previous thread created is nearly full so starting a new one. Will try and tag names

@Confusedmermaid1 @Superscientist thanks both for taking the time to reply. I was in this morning and there is still a little there. Doc isn't concerned but has recommended another round of meds to try and speed it up. Just annoying as I feel my cycle won't start again until everything has cleared. Second miscarriage in a row so I feel time is marching on...

@Superscientist I'm sorry for your loss. Helpful to have been processing it I guess but still very hard to go through it again. good that they will refer you but the waiting is so difficult! Here (in Ireland) they won't do tests for 2 over 35 if you have a child which is very frustrating. They're telling me no cause for concern but just logically anyone who has 3 also had 2 at some stage...

@TrulyMiss I'm sorry there is some material left. I hope the meds help. It's so hard when it's slow and you are trying to move on

I'm pretty sure I passed the pregnancy last night. It's a relief but emotional too. I'm really ready for January 1st and hopefully a fresh start and leave 2024 behind.

It's frustrating how care isn't standardised. Why your location impacts if you get help after 2 or 3 losses wait 2 months or 2 years for help is madness. I wish there was a crystal ball to know if the next pregnancy would be successful. I had 3 weeks off work this time round barely able to move from the sofa due to nausea, sickness and fatigue and a few days off before that. I'm not sure how many more times I can put myself through the first trimester for it to disappear into a puff of smoke. I should be grateful that conception so far hasn't been an issue but having weeks of not being able to eat or drink takes it out of you. Work have been great but I do wonder how many times I can do it without annoying them!

@Superscientist I have a feeling as the absence is pregnancy related you would be protected if they did get annoyed, but hopefully they will continue to be understanding! My third pregnancy was my successful one - hopefully the same happens for you too 🤞🏻🤞🏻 Where I am they didn’t (not sure if it has changed) look into anything after my first 2 and I was 36 - like you say - it’s so frustrating that it isn’t standardised everywhere!

i’m still waiting for AF to return - I am 8 weeks post mva and nothing! I had 2 random days with a teeny bit of pale pink cm, but nothing else - so I have no idea when I’ll ovulate - but I am definitely ready to try again!

Thanks @Babydust99 I know I'm protected but I know it doesn't stop people grumbling! I'm also sensitive after experiencing disability discrimination from the disability officer when my was doing my PhD!
I had 5-6 weeks of barely work in July and August with hyperemesis and miscarriage and now just had 4-5 weeks of barely working including the 3 weeks of not working at all in Nov/Dec again with hyperemesis and fatigue. I still haven't finished the project I started in June because of the sick leave. It got de-prioritised otherwise it would have been passed on another person so it's not time sensitive, other aspects of my role have been passed on to a colleague until the new year whilst I get back up to fully functioning. It just makes me feel ineffective! I'm also dreading a successful pregnancy as it's likely to be associated with more sick leave. My GP offered me a 2 month sick note this time round because of the sickness. It seems to hit me worse each time. My mind boggles that I managed to go into the office every day when I was pregnant with my daughter despite the sickness! I wasn't much more effective though! My line manager has spoken about secondary infertility and he essentially banned me from coming into the office this time around! I'm not worried about him but the general views I'm more worried about. Also it's going to come pretty bloody obvious that I'm pregnant if I disappear for a month every time!

It does seem that my hospital is one of the more proactive ones. They have a rainbow room for early scans after loss which is a self contained room away from the epu and regular scan rooms to avoid other pregnant women and rooms with bad memories. There's specially commissioned art work funded by a donation in the name of a baby born sleeping. It was a calming space and I'm glad it exists. Three of the hospitals in our trust now have them, hopefully they start to proliferate

I'm sorry you are still waiting for AF time frames beyond your control are hard especially as the body has its ways to go against you when you start to fret! I hope you get to start trying soon x

@Superscientist hopefully everyone is understanding - I know people can be unreasonable though so it isn’t always the case. But you’d like to think people were supportive - it’s not like you can control the sickness or any pregnancy trials and tribulations (for want of an umbrella term for everything that comes with pregnancy)

That sounds amazing in your hospital! Mine is definitely not like that - the EPU has a small waiting room but you have to walk through the waiting room where ladies are waiting for their ultrasounds/midwife appointments. Definitely sucks!

Thank you. Hopefully it returns soon - I’m 40 so had a slight (irrational) fear that it might just never come back 😂 I have been seeing soooo many rainbows recently though - and I had been wondering whether to try again or find a way to make peace with having our one LO. I saw loads before falling pregnant with her, so I have decided it is a sign to keep on trying and that AF will return lol. Our LO has been talking about having a little sister too (never asked her if she wanted a sibling or told her I was pregnant as she only just turned 3) so I’m choosing to take these as the universe telling me it will happen eventually x

Unfortunately it looks like I might be at the end of my TTC journey. I unfortunately have an isthmocele and potentially Ashermans so I would need that all fixing to be able to conceive but the NHS don't always do the fixes and I can't afford private so my options are limited. I wish you all the best in your TTC journey and urge you to see your GP if you have any spotting outside of your period xx

@Mummysparrow oh i am so so sorry 😢 how did you get this diagnosis ?
I have no words only want to send you so much love!! Xxx

@Beanie14 I only to my GP about spotting after my period thinking it would be hormone related and I was referred for a scan to check for fibroids and this is what was showed. Ultrasound isn't the best for diagnosis of those conditions and getting measurements so I am probably going to need further tests to see how bad it is.
Thanks, I am going between it may not be that bad to thinking it must be bad if I am not pregnant yet 😬

@Mummysparrow how long have you been trying?
I was convinced I had this as we’ve been trying for over a year with no success (at all!!).
so I paid for a private test which didn’t show anything apparently, not sure if NHS tests would look into more detail though. At a loss here too.
I can’t imagine why the NHS wouldn’t do the fix is this something they told you? Especially if you’re actively trying for a baby? Maybe it’s just if you’re done having babies and it’s not causing any pain?
I hope your next appointment gives you more insight into everything xxx

@Beanie14 I have had 2 scan, 1 private and one through NHS and I definitely have an isthmocele with fluid in the scar and both scans say one side of my uterus is heterogeneous which when googled it doesn't look ideal. There is a mention of a potential adhesion and can't rule out adenomyosis 😬 strangely enough despite all this I still have periods and not a huge amount of pain. But essentially my uterus is looking inhospitable 😭

I’m so sorry to hear this :( sending you so much love xxxxxx

@Mummysparrow I’m so sorry to read this.

@Superscientist i really hope the wait list for tests is on the shorter side for you. I have an appt this Friday to find out if APS is confirmed. Sending you love, hope you are doing as well as can be.

@Mummysparrow im sorry to hear that. I hope that the nhs can do something for you. Crazy how much private can cost.

I have been ill in bed for a week now with the flu, today is the first day I made it to the sofa! Sod’s Law 4 days ago I thought AF was coming as I had some cramps and spotting. The cramps have gone but the spotting continues. So I think the flu has well & truly messed things up for me. Don’t know if that was my period or if it will appear properly!

@TrulyMiss yes I’ve had medical management. Sorry I’m so slow in responding, hope it went as well as it could? I’ve had different experiences both times I’ve had medical management.

@Superscientist I’m so sorry for your loss, sending love your way.

By the time my appointment came through it had already been 3 months since miscarriage. I just remember I couldn’t be pregnant for the lupus test as can give a false positive I believe. You can get thyroid panel etc fairly reasonably priced online at companies link Medichecks if you don’t want to wait, equally some doctors will run that and full blood count for you. Tommys have a page on GP tests and it mentions clotting;

https://www.tommys.org/baby-loss-support/miscarriage-information-and-support/tests-and-treatments-after-miscarriage/your-care-after-1-or-2-miscarriages#GP-help

Hope this is helpful x

@Mummysparrow I’m sorry you’ve had such a tough diagnosis, hoping that there’s something they can do to help you once you know more xxx

Hey all, I was looking for a group like this but only just found yours. Hope it's ok to join.

As introduction: Been ttc 3 years, have had one failed round of ivf (I make very few eggs even on max drugs, so one round is one try if we're lucky). We had a spontaneous pregnancy in my subsequent natural cycle that ended around 6 weeks (yolk sac but not fetal pole). It's almost 2 months since mc. Already on another nhs ivf round again, begin stims (daily injections) on nye. Partay!

Oh and I'm just about to be 39.
Just looking to engage with people in the same ish boat or at least in the same ish sea.

Hey @Nosejug sorry you’ve had such a rough time and for your loss. Hoping 2025 is a positive year for you, and welcome to the group xx

@Mummysparrow I'm so sorry to hear your news. Fingers crossed for this pregnancy and that you get the support in deciding what to do next. There is no right answer, take you time and go with what feels right.

Thanks @Figtree11 I hope it's on the short side too. Good luck for your aps appointment. Sorry you have been ill and it's messed up your cycle. It's so tricky when there's extra things beyond your control. Rest up and feel better soon.

@Blueskies4 thanks for the information. I think I will see if the GP can check my thyroid. I need to look at my dates I think I'm due my annual bloods for my mood stabiliser. I wonder if they could add the thyroid function as well, it's worth asking ! I'll accept the wait for the aps! I've been trying to do some reading on lithium and TTC. It possibly increases the risk of miscarriage whilst taking it. I came off it in march/April. I'm now questioning whether there's still an impact from that.

Welcome @Nosejug I'm sorry you find yourself here but I hope you find it a supportive place.
I am TTC my second. I had my daughter in 2020 with no issues. I've been trying since April and have had two miscarriages in that time both at 10 weeks but both pregnancies were lost earlier than that. It took 8 months to be in a position to try as I was on medication not compatible with pregnancy due to severe pnd after having my daughter so it feels like a much longer journey. I'm 37 and also feeling the tick of time!

Wishing you all the best luck with your next IVF cycle x

Thanks for the welcome and luck wishing @Blueskies4 and @Superscientist . Glad to have found the group :)

Sorry to hear about your two losses so close together Superscientist. That must have been so difficult. I also carried to ten weeks, but actually knew about the loss at 7, which was perhaps easier having a time to come to terms with the loss before actually losing it.

Wishing everyone the best for 2025 (or hopefully sooner!)x

Thanks@Nosejug the second loss I knew I was measuring 10 days behind at 7.5 weeks so we too had some time to get our heads around it before it was confirmed. We only had it confirmed last week. It's an odd feeling as last time it still felt quite raw at this point but this time I feel ready to move on. I struggle with hyperemesis in pregnancy so right now I'm focused on enjoying food at Christmas with a view to start again in the new year and hopefully 2025 will be all of our years!

I got a BFP last week ladies, didn’t post it as it was super faint, but symptoms have caught up and it’s a clear positive test now.

Feeling ridiculously nervous/scared. After wanting this positive test since last March, I’m straight into the fear and negative thoughts!

ps. Having some spotting today too and mild cramps

Congratulations @Blueskies4 wishing you the best over the coming nervy weeks! I hope all goes well for you. Spotting and cramps can be part of a normal pregnancy too.

I have got an appointment through for the reoccurring miscarriage team. It's a phone appointment at the end of March. I wasn't expecting it to come through so quickly so I initially rejected it as I thought it was related to my lost pregnancy it was only when I reread the letter I twigged it wasn't. All it said was gynae not what clinic. Thankfully I was able to make a few phone calls and get it all sorted.

I'm nervous about trying again. I'm just getting my life back having recovered from the pregnancy and loss. Realising I missed the birthdays of two of my friends children last month. I cleaned the house yesterday for the first time in over 2 months.

I'm trying to think about what I want TTC to look like in the new year. Previously we have mostly gone with the flow and an increase in libedo around the middle of my cycle has meant most months we have had a chance except when life gets in the way. I don't know if it's time to be more proactive. Does anyone have any advice on ovulation tracking? I seem to have fairly regular 27-28 day cycles.

I started running more the month I fell pregnant last time so I think I would like to try to get out for a couple of runs whilst I'm off over Christmas to try to look after my body and mind

Thank you xx

Glad you managed to get your appointment sorted! sorry to hear you’ve had such a rough time - I had the same missing birthdays after my last miscarriage, it was like I was on another planet for a month!

Do you like podcasts? If so there’s a couple of good ones on ovulation tracking on “Don’t tell me to relax”

https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/dont-tell-me-to-relax-a-fertility-podcast/id1663536357?i=1000670897130

podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/dont-tell-me-to-relax-a-fertility-podcast/id1663536357?i=1000672674089

I’ve used the clear blue digital ovulation tests and usually get a peak day with them. The cheaper ones I find hard to use and frustrating.. never got a peak which then becomes stressful!

I agree with things like running, anything that boosts the positivity can’t hurt can it!

@Blueskies4 congratulations - I had a friend who had spotting and mild cramps all through her first trimester and went full term, so it isn’t always a bad sign. I think we always jump to the worst conclusion when you have experienced a loss - I have my finbers crossed for a sticky bean for you!

@Superscientist I use the pre-mom ovulation test strips and have found them pretty reliable - first time round I also used a bbt thermometer, but I haven’t had the most consistent sleep recently and forget to do it in the morning. I need to get better at it as I like knowing when I have ovulated (as much as you can know without having a scan around that time!)