TTC after loss part 5

[Ella31]

Just continuing our old thread. I've added anyone who has asked to stay on here. As always, anyone who is trying after a loss is welcome to join and those who have been lucky since are welcome to encourage those who are still waiting for their rainbow (if you want to stay of course )

Also for the next thread, I'm going to let someone else take over creating the new one if people don't mind. I've a lot on at the moment with tests and I'm back to work in the next few weeks after my bereavement leave with my boys. So if anyone would like to take the mantle, feel free.

Im 2dpo today and have another ultrasound on Wednesday to see if follicle has burst followed by pdg blood test.

@Onthedouble123
@DonnaWhat
@moosey89
@Bellebg
@Lovedatforme
@Ncl31
@PearlCat
@LucyCL
@CadoAvo
@ThelastRolo20
@Figtree11

I’m sorry you’re feeling down about it. It’s very challenging I know.

Hi everybody, I’ve been off this group for the last month or so because I was finding all the BFP on this chat really triggering. I got really upset today, I found out a girl from work is 18weeks along and wasn’t even trying and knew you girls would understand why it made me so sad! Like I’m happy for her but sad for me.
I’m around 10dpo today BFN this morning, I know it was too early to test but couldnt help myself. I’m trying to have the it’ll happen when it happens attitude but mentally I just feel sad and stressed about it.

period started for me today also after being a couple of days late, first proper cycle after miscarriage. I didn’t feel pregnant so I didn’t test, still gutting though.

Its ok to step away if you need @Beanie14. I'm sorry that you were finding the bfps a bit much, it's a natural response but that doesn't make it any easier. I have 2 women at work expecting too. It's hard.

Try to put the tests away for a couple of days. X

I'm day 8 and about to enter my fertile week. My other half is in a bit of a defeatist mood which is tricky. We have been trying to decide on Christmas plans. Stay at home or go to his parents a 4+h drive away. If expecting I would want to be at home. I think we will be at home now for other reasons but he didn't want to be making plans around something that might not happen. I struggle so much with sickness even if it's a slim chance of happening I want home comforts. The pregnancy sickness with my daughter started on the 23rd Dec and I spent all of Christmas at his parents try to not be obvious that I was struggling to eat.

I'm sorry you got a negative test result @Joleyjojo you can join me this month. Hopefully it will be a good month for both of us x

Sorry you got a negative too @ConfusedCrab. I have just had my first proper cycle after miscarriage too. It's ok for your heart to sink with AF even if that is what you were expecting. My period was shorter than normal which was some relief. Once the bleeding stopped I switched from disappointment to cautious optimism. For me that was the point when the feelings from the last cycle waned and the hope for the next started. Be kind to yourself over the next few days and then you can start looking forward again x

this was my first AF since MC. I was upset obviously and then I found myself trying to be positive. Diet started, exercise started, manifesting (I know not everyone’s thing), booked my hair appointment, nails, reiki. Am decorating the house and finding out I was pregnant was a huge kick up the arse to finish the house. Following MC I didn’t want to do anything but yesterday B&Q etc. walked into next and there is a big mamas and papas attached I just broke down. Literally inconsolable this feeling has stuck and I can’t shake it. How can I get positive / excited for this cycle feeling like this. 40 in January and having a huge panic about my fertility. Then I feel like if I get too positive it’s a harder fall.

Anyway I know you all understand and get it, and yes @Superscientist we can do this together. I am going to SMEP this cycle , use my CB monitor and OvuSense to confirm ovulation. Because BF will defo want a rest after 😂

For us TTC makes up for the drought that comes from early pregnancy and with my daughter late pregnancy and first year! Between getting the positive test and my daughter turning 1 I think we dtd 3 or 4 times only!

Sounds like a good plan, I'm trying to avoid ovulation tracking as I'm an obsessive type so want to save that for later. I think I might do the every other day from day 8 and then try more frequent later in the week. My partner is away next week so we need the swimmers in there before he leaves in case of late ovulation, based on typical ovulation for my period length we should be ok. I don't know why but I feel quite awkward about raising the idea of sex for conception.

We were very relaxed when started TTC. Now having had the chemical followed by the MMC it has made me a bit obsessed to get pregnant ASAP. Only because it prompted googling and all the stuff about my age has sent me a bit crazy. I just don’t have time n my side.

The romance has gone and it is BD for one reason. However once I have ovulated the sex after is so much better. 😂😂 so it’s like 10 days of being hard work then the holiday after 😂

Oh @Superscientist @Joleyjojo I’m so sorry about your MC, so hard to just carry on as normal.
@Joleyjojo its so good that you’re having such a positive outlook. I’m sorry about the trip out with mamas and papas shop. Totally understandable though, it’s still so raw and I have no advice only to just take one day at a time and look after yourself. I find mindfulness helpful.
@ConfusedCrab im sorry AF arrive, I predict I’ll be joining you in a day or so xx

Thanks @Superscientist sorry to see your update also. I remember you were one of the first people I spoke to on here when I got a positive - I feel very naive thinking back to that time!

I don’t like the pressure of having to dtd, and also I often wish my husband would just get on with it which isn’t ideal 😬.

I feel the tick of time too @Joleyjojo it's over a year since we started discussing a second but it took me 8 months to change meds to suitable ones to ttc due to my bipolar.

I've been doing a lot of colouring in the evening to stop the Google rabbit hole. It keeps my hands busy and my brain quiet!

For something that "should" be magic and romantic the nuts and bolts of conception are far from that narrative for many people!

Really? @ConfusedCrab I'm sorry we have ended up in the same place. I come from a family that has never shyed away from talking about pregnancy. My nan had a miscarriage between my 2 uncles, my mum lost my sisters twin, one sister had an ectopic followed by a miscarriage and my other sister had a termination for medical reasons. It's not a club I wanted to join and it hurts that I am. I haven't spoken to family about it but have spoken to people at work.

Hello all please can I join? Long old story for me.

2017 - DS born, easier than I thought it would be to conceive, relatively easy pregnancy (of course I was only 27 then...)

Put off trying for DC2 for a while, various reasons.

• Sept 2022 - start trying again, fell PG first cycle, early MC at six weeks
• Feb 2023 - BFP again, scanned at 8 weeks privately and wasn't good news, they referred me to EPU who said it could be a molar pregnancy, post surgical analysis confirmed it was a complete molar and put on a TTC ban
• Dec 2023 - TTC ban lifted, fell PG straight away and early MC again at 6 weeks
• February 2024 - fell PG again and was having regular scans at EPU, at 8 weeks they confirmed that growth was far too slow and prepare for MC. That never happened and I ended up with more surgery for MMC - karyotyping of embryo showed it had trisomy 23. DH and I tested genetically for trisomy in May and still waiting on results.

In the meantime I've had a bazillion blood tests etc. and nothing has shown up as bind a concern but been given progesterone to take post ov for 3 months (to continue to 14 weeks if I see a BFP). Just coming to the end of the first TWW after starting to try again and I'm losing my effing mind (again). How do you ladies stay sane?

@hicketypickety welcome, I'm sorry you have had such a difficult journey TTC your second.

Hey @hicketypickety welcome! Sorry you've been through a lot TTC. I've also had 3 miscarriage (all missed miscarriages), all the tests and everything showing as "normal"! It's infuriating, I want something to be there to fix, you know? Me and my partner had the genetic bloods done too as tissue from my third loss showed trisomy 15, should get the results in a couple of weeks hopefully. If that's normal, I don't really know where to go next.... We're in cycle 5 of trying again since the most recent loss, first 2 pregnancies (with him, the other loss was with my ex before!) took 6 months and 9 months to conceive so I'm sort of headed to my hopeful stage, but trying not to get hopes up too much.

As suspected AF arrived bang on time yesterday. I’m really thinking it’s never going to happen!

@hicketypickety Gosh what a journey you’ve been through! I’m so sorry! Hope you get answers soon and this TWW goes quickly.

Oh @Beanie14 I'm sorry AF has arrived. It's ok to feel defeated. Process the end of this cycle and take some time for yourself. In a few days hopefully some optimism about the next cycle will appear. All feelings are valid feelings, just take some time.

@Superscientist thank you! It’s just so hard. It’s making me feel like there must be something wrong with me! I wish I had your optimism. I’ve stopped OPKs ant BBT as of last month as I just feel like it makes things more stressful xx

Hello everyone - just wondering if I can join? I had an early scan at 7weeks which showed everything was all ok, but went back today at 10weeks and there was no progression from a few days after the last scan, and no heartbeat.
i am very lucky to have a LO already (I had 2 losses before our LO came along - one a missed miscarriage and one an anembryonic pregnancy) but still feel gutted, even though I am typically very pragmatic about these things (my way of coping I think!)
I’m currently waiting on a call from EPAC, to decide the next route, but know that I will want to ttc fairly quickly again as age is not on my side sadly. My heart goes out to everyone here - I know my journey is more positive in comparison to others, but I feel for anyone who has experienced a loss/losses X ❤️

I am so sorry to hear this, all miscarriages are awful, but I think there is something particularly harsh about a missed miscarriage. I had my own in August at 8 weeks and wouldn't wish it on anyone. You are amongst friends here though and I hope the next few days and weeks go as well as they can. Sending big hugs.

It's good you have recognised that the testing was adding to the stress. @Beanie14
I'm cd11 and I was a lot less optimistic a week ago!

@Bellabubble I'm sorry you are going through miscarriage again. It still hurts even if you have a little one at home. I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks in August but they think I most probably lost the pregnancy earlier. The crippling all day nausea went at 8 weeks. I was still needing antiemetics until after the miscarriage though. It took a bit of time to feel ready for intimacy. I got my first period after 4 weeks and that was when I felt like I had processed and was ready to start again.
Take your time and look after yourself x

Oh @Bellabubble welcome, im so sorry to hear you’re going through this though. Sending hugs to you.

Sorry to see af is here @Beanie14 I've stayed away for a good while too as I don't want to be triggering people. I hope you are ok. Nice to see your name pop up but sorry you are down.

@Beanie14 so sorry you’re feeling down. It’s so difficult I know.
I’ve not done any OPKs this cycle, it’s also an entirely unmedicated cycle because I left my meds at home when I was away early September so I’ve had no ovulation induction.
I had good signs of it with EWCM so only time will tell. Estimated myself at around 8-10DPO if I go from those symptoms.

@Ella31 how far along are you now? Xx