TTC after Miscarriage part 4

[Ella31]

Starting thread number 4, can you believe it? Congrats to everyone who has been lucky the last few threads and for those who have had recent losses again or new, keep strong, you are amazing. To those still trying, it will happen, myself included there and we will support each other.

I'll just include a foreward for anyone new who joins us, this is a supportive group for anyone who has had a loss, no matter how early or late. Everyone here has experieced the upset and understands.

Ive gone through the list and more than likely left people out so add anyone you think I've forgotten.

@ToeBeans24

@DonnaWhat
@Onthedouble123
@Lovedatforme

@emmatcc1
@ncl31
@MisssMarion
@Loz365
@Tallgirl91
@Figtree11
@ThelastRolo20
@mountainlass
@CadoAvo

@Joleyjojo

@Jellyfish2

@B1989
@rosyposy26

@RaisingCornishWildlings
@Rockyslife
@sarahk89

I feel like this peak on the premom app is wrong? 🤔

@Ella31 sorry to hear about the BFNs, hopefully there will be some good news in the next few days.

@moosey89 sorry I only saw this post now. I'm sorry you went through this and definitely be hopeful as you said the odds are in your favour

You aren't testing enough so very likely the evening before your peak it could have surged. Around ovulation, you should test afternoon and evening. Lh isn't high enough in mornings. It's not like hcg hormone in pregnancy that it builds up and gets stronger. Lh surges, so ovulation tests are there to catch the surge

Thank you, I didn’t peak till day 19 last time so didn’t think it would be day 12 to be testing day & night. Will know for next time.

If I were you and it's up to you, I'd test twice from the end of your period just in case ovulation comes early. Do you have signs of ovulation - ewcm? I got a faulty peak two months ago and I deffo wasn't ovulating

I think the cervix theory is varied @DonnaWhat when I was pregnant my cervix was low for weeks.

I've heard creamy cm can be a sign but I had no symtoms bar very sore boobs during my pregnancy

I've heard/read positive stories of people who struggled with infertility and fell pregnant after this procedure! I don't want to get your hopes up but I think it's a good idea, and it can't hurt, right? (Besides the actual pain)
What your consultant said is so rubbish. You're going through enough, does he have to imply you're responsible on top of it? That's so insensitive. And I don't believe there's a connection between weight and miscarriage, is there? Even if yes, he should know better how to address couples who experienced loss. 😔
Fingers crossed for you for this month though, it's not over until af shows up!

Thanks @MisssMarion I think the biggest thing for me is i carried my late twin sons until their birth, he acknowledged none of this. He didn't acknowledge that I'm 8 months post partum and grieving, none of this was mentioned at all. It was a 35 minute lecture about my weight. He was horrible. I hope you are doing ok

I will next month. Only had EWCM since this evening so there was no signs like usual, I'd say my cycle is a bit messed up after the MC so a bit all over the place now 🙃

That could be it. It's such a mystery at times

@Ella31 I'm so sorry you went through this. He sounds like an a**hole (pardon my French). In his line of work you would expect some compassion... and as you say you did get pregnant and carried to term so he's only looking at half the picture. Have you had a good experience with him otherwise? If not, would you consider changing if it's an option? We really need to advocate for ourselves and surround ourselves with people we feel good with... when possible of course. It's so difficult to get support from the NHS let alone to be 'picky' 😔. I hope you're doing ok otherwise, honestly you're doing so well.

No I only met him for the first time last week. I'm in Ireland so the fertility hub as they are called here has three consultants, I got him. I'm ringing tomorrow to switch as I can't face it again.

100%, we BD on CD9 and today so hopefully it'll be enough if I did ovulate and i'll keep tracking just in case.

Hope you can get your consultant swapped tomorrow, you are dead right to ask to change. You shouldn't be made feel like that xx

Absolutely, every other day is what they recommend. Thank you, I'm nervous about ringing but I'm going to try and sort it

@Claudiasaz thank you for your kind words xx

Hope everyone is doing ok. I’m sorry about the bfns. Seeing just 1 line on a test is so difficult. Sorry I’ve not replied individually, there’s a lot of posts I keep losing where I am on the page!

Having a me week this week - acupuncture Wednesday followed by counselling Thursday. Anyone tried acupuncture before?

I’ve not tried it yet, I recently tried reflexology which I thought I’d hate but I actually didn’t.
let me know how it goes

I also tried reflexology a few weeks ago. It was nice, but I struggled to see how it would help. I thought maybe with acupuncture that as they are putting needles in maybe I’ll think it’s doing more 😆

Yes I agree, reflexology is a holistic therapy though isn’t it, it’s meant to help the mind too. I see it as if it helps me be more chilled then it might just do something.
we fly home from holiday this evening so I’m desperate to test tomorrow morning with FMU, I’ll be 13/14DPO.
no cramps or anything yet and I checked my cervix this morning so it’s so high I can’t even feel it, definitely higher than yesterday.

@Ncl31 yes that’s true. I’m not very good at relaxing my mind, so found myself just having an internal monologue with myself when I should have been relaxing!
I hope you have had an amazing holiday. The waiting to test is so hard - I hope it’s good news for you

@Figtree11 I had acupuncture and reflexology during my last pregnancy, never liked the acupuncture but found the reflexology very useful which surprised me!

I'm feeling really sad today so I thought I'd pop on here rather than keep it all to myself all day. I realised today I would have been 6 months pregnant, 3 months away from holding this baby I want so badly in my arms... and I'm not pregnant again yet. 😔

It's been such a challenging year for us. A couple of weeks after we lost the pregnancy my partner lost his job, and since then we haven't been able to catch a break. My office moved which increased considerably my commuting time and costs, our dd keeps getting ill (3 illnesses in the last month: a virus during our holiday, chicken pox shortly after coming back and now strep throat as she's barely recovered from the chicken pox). And my health has been rubbish too, nothing serious but lots of little issues, one after the other, as if my body was weaker after the MC. I've also been struggling with my eating and I've gained quite a bit of weight... which really doesn't help with fertility. And other things I'm forgetting.

I know I should feel grateful for the things I have, and I really am. It's just been a lot, and I feel really sad and defeated. I'm also scared about the future. What if we never get pregnant again?

I went for a blood test this morning and there was a woman there who was holding her pregnancy notes folder (she didn't look pregnant yet) and I almost burst into tears when I realised what she was holding. The envy is real...

@Lovedatforme ooh interesting, I’ve acupuncture on Wednesday so will see if it’s any good!

@MisssMarion I am so sorry you are feeling sad today. I was feeling like that yesterday & had a cry to my mum when I saw her. It’s so hard to not think of what could be. I think most days about how I should be with my 3/4 week old baby now. Or how I would be nearing 20 weeks pregnant with the second one I lost. It really is so cruel, and so far I haven’t found anything that helps me. I’m sorry I have nothing useful to help. But I completely get it

I'm sorry you're feeling so sad. I had days like that too, I just cried in my garden on my own next to where our wee one is buried feeling sad at the whole situation. Like you I was scared I wouldn't fall pregnant again because it happened so quickly the two times before yet this time it took 4 months. I know it's not long but it felt like it to me and it's the not knowing.
I'm so sure it will happen for you too. Is it worth speaking with your GP about how you're feeling?

My sister in law had a miscarriage at 10 weeks a few days after I found out I was pregnant. She is now starting to try again and she is incredibly fertile so I half expecting to hear that she is pregnant within the next month. I have been fairly fertile (conceiving in 3 months or less) but I feel like I need to prepare for her telling me that she is pregnant. I will be incredibly supportive to her as she was very supportive with my pregnancy when she had just lost her baby. I just wonder if I will all of a sudden hit an emotional brick wall and break down.
Arranging to see my friend for a meal next week who is currently 24 weeks pregnant ( she was only 2 weeks ahead of me) and it is a reminder of where I should have been right now.
We are all in this together 😔

You don't need to excuse yourself for feeling bad. It's such a triggering journey so you can absolutely have a little cry if you need it. Those "dates" hurt so much when you approach and surpass them. In the early days of ttc when I had a mc, I bought a little momento I had in the house so it just was something to remember that little baby by as particularly with mc, people don't always see how traumatising it is when they haven't experienced it themselves.

I know the fear of not knowing if pregnancy will happen again but you need to keep saying it will. Bloody hard but you will. But this journey is shit, can I say that 😅 it's utterly crap. Sometimes I feel better when people just say it as it is.