TTC #1 no previous pregnancies cycle #6 - looking for others in the same boat!

[MocktailMe]

Hi all.

As per the title, TTC first baby, I've never had a confirmed pregnancy before. I'm 31, bf is 27.

Been trying to conceive 9 months, but due to PCOS only 6 cycles.

This year I've lost weight, and my cycles since January have varied from 28 days to 38 days. Had PCOS confirmed, and currently waiting for an appointment with gynaecologist to see if I need further assistance. Appointment is taking its sweet time so for now doing it the old fashioned way still with plenty of hope (at least some days, not so much others!!!).

I'm currently on cycle day number 28, negative tests, no signs of a period in sight, CM up to my eyeballs and a whole heap of doubt over when ovulation occured!!

If you are :

TTC #1
A woman who has never been pregnant
Pissing on sticks at an ALARMING rate
Potentially with PCOS but healthy ovaries welcome 😁

Then PLEASE join my thread, so in need of buddies in a similar boat! ⛵

No offence to those TTC #2 or more, genuinley ❤️ just hoping to speak to people who also have no idea what pregnancy would feel like, and who also maybe have the fear they CANNOT ever get pregnant ❤️

I do morning and evening but during the most fertile days (as per calendar and CM) 3-4 times a day. This way you can catch the surge and the peak. I also recommend the premom app, it is so convenient to upload your results there. From the tests you uploaded here it is possible you have either missed the peak around the 11th-12th or possibly you haven't got the peak yet? The test line must be same colour or darker than the control line to show the peak.

Thank you so much - super helpful xx

Thanks @Tater05! I hope it happens for us all.

We paid for tests at a private fertility clinic - Harley street fertility clinic. They were good. I also have friends who did them through hertility and they were broadly the same, I just wanted the appointment with the consultant along with the tests which is what I got from the clinic.

I test as soon as I wake up, and then usually again before bed. I work shifts though, sometimes I get home around 1-2am (often when I post in here!) and test those days at that time, and on those days I'll usually test before I go to work around 2pm as well as once around 9am when I wake up. That's only when they've started to get darker tho.

For the majority of the month mine are stark white single line, so when a faint one appears it usually is within 2 days or so that a peak will appear.

I try to catch it because due to shift work it can mean DTD in the middle of the night or early morning before my partner goes to work - there are days where one of us is out working from 8am-2am so it's important to know if we need to try in those 6 spare hours!

Hello everyone!!!

Lots of new people so hi @JW24M @Tater05 @ToomanyBFNs !

Update from me my ultra sound showed normal ovaries etc but docs are putting me in for more tests which I’ve booked next week. Plus my partners getting sperm done next week too.

The ovaries do not show classical features of PCO. USS is not
diagnostic and we would recommend blood profiles including LH, FSH,
prolactin, oestradiol and testosterone.

I’m currently on a family holiday for a week with my nephews aged 5,6 & 7 and niece age 2. All partially feral. I’ve had moments of sadness but actually they’ve all been so annoying at times it’s made me feel weirdly better.

I haven’t told my mum or sister we’re TTC I just find it so raw to talk about I just can’t. My period is also due at the weekend so I’d like to not do it now as I’m a bit tired and emotional anyway.

I’m not feeling that hopeful this month as I don’t think getting hopes up really helps me because last month my body felt off and I did get my hopes up..

@ToomanyBFNs totally feel the pain on pregnancy announcements it seems like no one is safe!

I’m trying to take this week easy and not focus on it too much. I’m drinking a bit but only a few glasses as I’m on holiday.

I feel like it’s taking a bit of a toll on our relationship at the moment which isn’t good. Has anyone else found it hard? I’ve just been quite obsessive about it which Pt partner isn’t which is a weird dynamic…

Hey lovely! Thank you!

sounds like a bit of a rubbish time for you at the moment - being on holiday is super positive though and I imagine it’s trying to take your mind off it all! Try and enjoy it - hopefully you can look back on it in a few months with fond memories!

I hear you on the partner front… O am being completely obsessive about it all too - i’m surprised myself and my boyfriend haven’t had cross words yet but he’s being super patient and kind. How long it lasts time will tell! But I feel its all I want to talk about to him so i’m with ya! Xxx

Thanks @CharLdn, it’s tough - never thought I’d be such a green eyed monster.

hope you are managing to enjoy some of the holiday where you can. Fingers crossed AF doesn’t show this month for you. I’ve started focusing on children’s annoying traits to make me feel better about the whole thing.

I’ve had ups and downs with my partner about it too. Weirdly this month I can’t even be bothered to have sex on particular days because it feels entirely pointless given nothing ever seems to happen but he’s the one getting obsessive about it - the first time that’s ever happened!

Hi to all who have recently joined!

Sorry you're also in the same boat but it's nice to feel not alone about it. It's a hard thing for partners/very fertile friends and relatives to truly understand.

Someone asked about what time of day for ovulation tests - I tend to do it first thing in the morning when I wake up - I did used to do it multiple times a day but I'm using the clear blue digital one and I think it can mess it up a bit if you do it multiple times a day.

Can anyone recommend a good multivitamin with all the stuff we need in it? I was taking the wellwoman preconceptions ones for a while but they made me feel a bit icky (also read somewhere that they can interfere with cycle!) so switched to a normal tesco multivitamin and added folic acid and vitamin D on the side but want to try a preconception one again.

Fingers crossed for all still in TWW or coming up to ovulation time..!!!

Also @MocktailMe I did actually cave and do a test this afternoon. .. found a clear blue early detection one lurking in the bathroom drawer, so thought I'd try just in case.. big fat nothing and its only 2 days before I'm due on so there would have been something if this was the month.

I was so so convinced I could see the faintest shadow but after shining my phone torch on it for a while I had to acknowledge there was nothing there...

Didn't send me into as much as a spiral as it has before though so that's a slight silver lining 😆

@LuckyFinch I'm sorry to hear that :( I'm glad you aren't spiralling though - I think after so many negatives we come to expect it, and although we have our horrifically hard days never again will I be as gobsmacked and shocked by a negative as I was the first cycle when I absolutely had planned names and nursery after 2 days later than expected...little did I know! Naive really, but I've never let myself expect a positive since to that degree.

I hear you all on the announcements! As I've mentioned before I have an absolutely massive workplace with hundreds of colleagues - there is rarely a shift without a pregnant coworker or scan photos waved round the canteen!!!! It does feel never ending at times and I don't mind telling you ladies I've stopped feeling even a smidgen happy for them - unless I know they have struggled TTC. Which is absolutely horrible of me but this is what a year has got me to!!

@LuckyFinch I take wild nutrition (his n hers) and my Accupuncturist says they’re good.

I got my period today :( but I’m not too sad because I’m getting used to it if you know what I mean. Plus I have a horse riding holiday next month which I really could do with not being pregnant for.

I’m actually excited because hopefully my this time next month I’ll have my full blood tests results, my pcos ultrasound scan results and my partners sperm results so will have a clearer picture plus continuing with Mira.

The reality is we both need to lose 10kg too so hopefully post holiday we can knuckle down to do that - I’ve been doing lots of cycling on holiday which I love!

Good luck to anyone else waiting!

sorry to jump in but… I hear you girl! Aunt Flo is killing me off piece by piece today, but as I was in such a limbo of am I or aren’t I pregnant, i’m grateful in a way she’s here so I can track a little better now.

crossing my fingers for you 🤞🏽🤞🏽❤️

@CharLdn @JW24M soppy to hear your periods have arrived but onwards and upwards to the next cycle!!!

I feel like I'm jinxing it to even say, but I have felt extremely sick today and yesterday. Almost hungover. Could easily be unwell but I don't usually feel like this. It's giving me too much hope.

Ohh my fingers are crossed for you! What dpo are you?

What does everyone do about not drinking alcohol/reducing caffeine etc? I'm trying to only drink alcohol during my period and I'm thinking about reducing my caffeine even more in case it's had any effect on why it's not happened for us yet (reluctantly as I love my coffee, found a nice decaf but it's not the same). But if it's still not going to happen for months, how much are you all restricting yourselves? I don't want to stop living my life for an unknown amount of time just in case it affects something that might not happen for who knows how long!

Not that alcohol and coffee are the only ways to enjoy life but you know what I mean

bless your heart - keeping everything crossed for you when you test ❤️❤️ xx

9/10dpo currently based on ovulation tests so still early. Negative this morning, I'll be honest I felt like I did see a shadow cross the test but I really can't be sure, nothing that a photo would pick up anyway and hardly the first time I've thought I had a squinter either.

I haven't had a drink in over 6 months, but that's not really TTC related, drinking just gives me terrible anxiety so I generally avoid. However if I do want a drink (and I've been TTC for just shy of a year so have drank during this time) I don't care what cycle day it is. Life's too short really, I think generally not drinking much is better for your health, but the amount of people I know who are pregnant after lifestyles filled with heavy nights out on booze and drugs I don't think it matters. Here I am still trying after having probably had less than 10 drinks in a year 😅

As for coffee I probably have one every other day or two? Not a huge coffee drinker personally, but another thing I wouldn't stress about.

Unless you're routinely drinking alcohol most days and drinking multiple strong coffees every day I doubt a few glasses of wine on a weekend, or a coffee every morning will be having much impact.

I do vape and haven't stopped. I did when I first started TTC but it didn't change anything so I started again. If I smoked I would stop though. I know nicotine in any form isn't good for pregnant women but the NHS reccomend switching to vapes for smoking pregnant women so I can't see it being a problem TTC - my doctor advised me to lose weight, but simply said well done when I told her I no longer smoke but do vape. I will stop if I get pregnant, or go to zero percent nicotine.

Overall I can't imagine having spent the entire previous year acting as though I was pregnant the whole time when I haven't been even once. It's hard enough as it is - if I lived as though as I was already pregnant each month the disappointment would be horrific.

We should each do what feels right for us - rember women fall pregnant every day without even trying living all kinds of lifestyle's!

Ive just taken a photo for you of my probably imaginary shadow from this morning's test.

I feel crazy even posting it. Please don't pity me - I think looking now it's an obvious negative so please don't tell me you see what I see - I'm not even sure it's real!!!!

That's it I think, just do what feels right. I have quite enjoyed having less alcohol, not that I ever drink much anyway just a couple of glasses on a Friday/Saturday evening but my body feels better for it.

As for your test, if you really don't want me to say what I see I won't but I'd be testing again in a couple of days...

Keeping everything crossed for you @MocktailMe ! Keep us posted - I’d definitely keep testing.

Also @Tater05 agreed with everything written here. I cut out everything earlier this year but given that didn’t seem to work, I’ve just tried to relax and enjoy myself given this whole process is pretty stressful anyway.

Morning ladies, how is everyone doing?
@MocktailMe How are you feeling and what's your test showing today? 🤞I haven't been here for a few days so just catching up!

@Tater05 I very rarely drink so alcohol is not something to give up for me. In coffee, I drink 1-2 small cups every morning, maybe another cup of green or black tea during the day. I have no intention reducing this amount until I get pregnant! I also haven't really cut down sugar as I am normal BMI, or on my usual gym routine!
I think it is important to not get crazy in TTC as it can be a long and painful journey anyways to deprive us of life's little pleasures! 😊

I tested 9DPO after a lovely weekend away not thinking at all about upcoming testing or TTC. It is stark negative .. I will test tomorrow and in coming days. I don't have usual symptoms for this time of the month.

I tested again last night when I got home from work (around 2am) with a 6 hour hold and got the smallest faintest pink line (within 2 minutes).

But then I've tested this morning when I woke up and it's completely stark white blank.

This is a new batch of test so I'm assuming the last batch were faulty. I'm now 10/11dpo, if the test last night was really positive then I'm sure it would have shown this morning and it hasn't so I must not be pregnant. As usual.

Oh @MocktailMe it must be heartbreaking! 💔 to be given a hope to only be crushed later. Do try testing again in PM and tomorrow!

Right, I posted that within about 2 minutes of taking the test and it was indeed stark white. By around the 5/6 minute mark a really super faint shadowy line appeared and stayed. I really am not convinced it's not just an indent line or maybe even a shadow.

Either way, by 10/11 dpo most women on here seem to have proper lines, just fainter than the control, but obvious at least. If I showed my BF I doubt he would even see this. I can barely see it myself.

I wish I hadn't tested early as I had got my hopes so high.