TTC #1 no previous pregnancies cycle #6 - looking for others in the same boat!

[MocktailMe]

Hi all.

As per the title, TTC first baby, I've never had a confirmed pregnancy before. I'm 31, bf is 27.

Been trying to conceive 9 months, but due to PCOS only 6 cycles.

This year I've lost weight, and my cycles since January have varied from 28 days to 38 days. Had PCOS confirmed, and currently waiting for an appointment with gynaecologist to see if I need further assistance. Appointment is taking its sweet time so for now doing it the old fashioned way still with plenty of hope (at least some days, not so much others!!!).

I'm currently on cycle day number 28, negative tests, no signs of a period in sight, CM up to my eyeballs and a whole heap of doubt over when ovulation occured!!

If you are :

TTC #1
A woman who has never been pregnant
Pissing on sticks at an ALARMING rate
Potentially with PCOS but healthy ovaries welcome 😁

Then PLEASE join my thread, so in need of buddies in a similar boat! ⛵

No offence to those TTC #2 or more, genuinley ❤️ just hoping to speak to people who also have no idea what pregnancy would feel like, and who also maybe have the fear they CANNOT ever get pregnant ❤️

Ahh I have everything crossed for you @MocktailMe
This came up in notifications for me. Looking back at my first positive test now and I can hardly see it in the photo. I was around 10DPO at a guess. Totally normal for them to be very faint but I can understand guarding your heart

Thanks all. The lines are still very faint today but I am willing to keep an open mind for a couple of days.

More concerning is the cramps. No blood but these are extremely painful. I do also feel really sick which is probably normal but this level of cramping feels worse worse than with my ectopic. I don't have very high hopes for this pregnancy I feel like I'm simply waiting to bleed. I don't even feel that upset more simply frustrated and angry that I'm probably going to suffer another pregnancy loss.

Sorry to be so negative. I just don't see how these faint lines and painful cramps can lead to anything good. Obviously I'd love to be wrong. I can't face going to EPU about it either as I don't think I have it in me to have to go through all of that again, I don't think I can do all the scans and tests and fear again. Not that ignoring it will make it not be ectopic!

@MocktailMe really, really hoping this is a viable pregnancy for you!!
Take one day at a time and take care of yourself, no need to fight negative feelings if you have them, just live through them, as you await clarity!

Hi ladies. I've had some darker tests today - not dark but much more clear. I don't know if we are allowed photos on here again?

I've also had a bit of pinkish liquid when I wipe. Only when I wipe no flow and it is very light pink. I'm trying not to completely lose my head over it.

Sorry for constantly bombarding everyone with my stuff - it may be my thread but I don't want to bore everyone endlessly!!!

How is everyone else xx

Hey @MocktailMe!!

Hopefully the line progression is a good sign for you. The slight bleeding may be from implantation.. and I could be wrong but I think typically ectopic bleeding is brown vs pink so hopefully another good sign for you, but completely understand the worry. Did EPU suggest that you could get in touch from the point of a positive test and they would monitor your HCG?

I think the photo posting is allowed again now.

As for me, managed to get the hospital to agree to scan me so that’s tomorrow. My tests are now complete squinters, the sort of line that typically you wouldn’t believe you was pregnant seeing so I’m hoping that is a good sign and I get the all clear. I will be glad to see the back of the hospital and have an end put on this nightmare that feels like it’s never ending considering we found out on 30th December that our baby wasn’t going to survive and had weeks of up/down and worry prior from the point of me being 5 weeks.

@MocktailMe good luck 🤞 and keep us posted!

In unrelated news my husbands bloody dislocated his knee before our ski trips doing a practice run so I’m having to mourn our lost ski season 💔

seems very minor but it’s been my beacon of hope to look forward to for so long :(

Luckily he’s ok and we’re going with friends anyway so I can still ski for a long weekend but we’re going to cancel our second trip. Just a big disappointment but I think we’re going to try and rearrange plans to something fun anyway.

I’m about 10 days PO and felt very emotional yesterday (full menty b over husbands injury), so I think I’m due on. But I’ve had headaches and felt really hot the last few days which is odd but I might just be getting sick.

got my blood count back all normal - should get hormones/glucose soon.

No need to apologise @MocktailMe, keep us updated. As far as I've heard light pink blood is normal in early pregnancy, so I'm keeping my hopes up for you.

@KT199 I hope you get the all clear tomorrow, 5 weeks of that is tough.

@CharLdn that's so frustrating! It'd be disappointing anyway but when you're going through this and it's one thing to actually look forward to it hits harder! Enjoy the bit of skiing you do with your friends and definitely plan some dislocated knee friendly activities.

@KT199 so relieved to hear you have a follow up scan tomorrow. This has been awful - the whole year so far taken up with it and I hope so much for you that this will be the proper end so you can actually mentally heal from this. Wishing you all the best for tomorrow.

@CharLdn sorry to hear about your husband I hope he's doing okay. I know the holiday was a big distraction and treat you were excited for - perhaps you could book to go somewhere else in the time you have off? It's definitely important to have something to look forward to away from all this. You're not out for this cycle either so I'll keep fingers crossed for you too.

@MocktailMe definitely keep us updated! No need to apologise at all - and I think you can add photos again now

@CharLdn oh no, sorry to hear about your husband’s knee - that’s such a shame! But totally agree with @MocktailMe - can you get away to do something else instead during that time?

@bramarcan @MocktailMe @Tater05 thank you!

I think we’ve decided an alpine train trip from Zurich to Salzburg to Budapest is the alternative which I’m excited about as we love trains. So depending on the MRI results we’ll do that.

As a compromise I’ve said we should go skiing next winter if we’re still not preggo.

That sounds amazing- a really good alternative.

@KT199 thinking of you today and hoping for good news at the scan and the all clear.

Unfortunately I've continued to bleed overnight. Not anywhere near as heavy as a period but I had hoped it would stop and it hasn't.

I've had a stronger but still faint test again today too. What will be will be.

Sorry to hear it’s not stopped @MocktailMe. How upsetting 😔. I guess only time will tell. Not a nice feeling at all. I’m sorry you’re going through this, given the ectopic at the start of the year it feels so unfair.

My scan went okay, there is a very small amount of tissue left but it is not attached to my uterus anymore so should just come away with my next period. Feels abit like a waiting game now for that to arrive, but it least it’s not requiring another surgery. Hopefully I can now move on and get back to living life.

Hopefully that period comes soon, thats really positive news though. That's as good as over really and you can now rest knowing it's all done.

I've now got a referral for IVF should this pregnancy not continue. I don't need to have a hysterosalpingogram for that but I'm still able to have one prior to embarking upon it if I choose. Can't decide yet; I can't think further than a day at a time right now. All very overwhelming. I can't quite believe I've got a referral for IVF and I'm still pregnant. Two things I've waited a long time for. I only need one to work out.

Oh sorry to hear it’s not been your week @MocktailMe - keep us posted all must seem very surreal.

I came on today too so another month goes.

@KT199 glad you’ve got some answers too and some resolution.

Let’s hope for better luck for us all soon!!!

Thanks ladies, the support on this thread is so lovely 💖

@MocktailMe The IVF referral is a big deal. It would be lovely if your pregnancy progressed now, but it least there’s a plan for worst case.

@CharLdn your plans sound fab, we visited Budapest last year and it was a lovely city. I’ve plenty of recommendations if you want any, and even a few things to avoid 😂.

Sorry about AF, it is never a nice feeling. But onto the next cycle ehy!

✨ This thread is absolutely due some good luck, that goes for every single one of us. Regardless of positions at the moment, I’ve started to think that with every day that passes we are all one day closer to that successful pregnancy that we all so desperately want. It’s helping to keep me going a little at the moment. ✨

@KT199 yes 👏

For anyone interested my bloods have come back with some interesting results!!!!! (Finally something to tell me what’s going on!!!)

My kidney levels were off - low GFR and high creatinine which can be a sign of insulin resistance.

I also had high testosterone another sign of insulin resistance too.

I am going to ask my doctor if they can prescribe metformin for PCOS.

My FSH levels were low too so this suggests my eggs aren’t developing properly.

I can’t tell you guys how excited I am that there’s finally something to work with 👏

although the bad news is the dietary advice is low salt, low sat fat vegetarian. And I bloody love cheese - but if I need to modify my diet for a year to get preggo then so be it.

I need to book an appointment with my GP but this feels like something!!!!!

Hey @CharLdn some answers at last must be such a relief. It's only possible possible fix a problem when you know what the problem is so you're a step closer. Regarding diet I've been dairy free for over a decade - hit me up if you're struggling for meal ideas that fit the requirements, I've got a great recipe for cashew 'cheese' that can be used in place of ricotta or turned into a creamy sauce for risotto etc.

What I’ve learned is for anyone who has PCOS and thinks they could be insulin resistant (google the signs) I got bloods from my GP to test:

blood sugar (fasted glucose)
Hbac1
serum lipids
Renal function
Fsh, LH, Free androgen, testosterone

This was all to investigate insulin resistance and was done via my GP - no special referrals needed.

So what I’m saying is if you are unsure about something it can be worth pushing for tests, as I could have been fobbed off with unexplained fertility.

@MocktailMe thank you!!! I’m a big fan of the deliciously Ella app which has some great recipes. But any of your fave recipes are welcome :)

Just a sad update from me to say I have miscarried. I've lost two pregnancies in less than two months now and I feel absolutely weary and broken. I don't have much else to say right now as I just feel completely and utterly overwhelmed.

Better days are surely ahead for us all ❤️

@MocktailMe I’m so sorry biggest hugs to you and your partner ❤️

Oh @MocktailMe I am so sorry. Be sure to lean on your support system and look after yourself. Such a difficult thing to go through 😔

So sorry @MocktailMe sending hugs, look after yourself ❤️

Thought I’d share some positive news for you all! Happy Valentine’s Day ❤️

I had my GP appointment today and they are referring me to the gyno team and have requested if I can try metformin - I should hear in about a week if I can give it a go.

They listened to me and although my blood stuff isn’t quite bad enough for me to be prescribed it - they said there’s enough markers for them to ask if we can.

From stories online it seems metformin has been a game changer for a lot of PCOSers so I’m hoping I get on it 🤞

I also called St George’s to see if my fertility consult had any update and it turns out I’ve been referred to kingston… But Kingston emailed me back quite quickly and are chasing my referral.

It feels like things are moving!

Hi guys. Thank you. I'm actually very confused right now. I had been bleeding heavily for around 2/3 days. Got my initial bloods back and we're told they were too low to be viable. Had repeats done and my HCG had increased 220% in 48 hours.

EPU are confused by this, as am I. It could mean it's ectopic but it could also mean potentially the pregnancy is viable despite the bleeding. Im waiting for the 3rd bloods to come back and absolutely terrified I'll hear they have dropped. After being told I'd lost the baby this has been a massive rollercoaster.

This morning's test below. They are getting darker but I know only the bloods can tell me for sure.