TTC #1 no previous pregnancies cycle #6 - looking for others in the same boat!

[MocktailMe]

Hi all.

As per the title, TTC first baby, I've never had a confirmed pregnancy before. I'm 31, bf is 27.

Been trying to conceive 9 months, but due to PCOS only 6 cycles.

This year I've lost weight, and my cycles since January have varied from 28 days to 38 days. Had PCOS confirmed, and currently waiting for an appointment with gynaecologist to see if I need further assistance. Appointment is taking its sweet time so for now doing it the old fashioned way still with plenty of hope (at least some days, not so much others!!!).

I'm currently on cycle day number 28, negative tests, no signs of a period in sight, CM up to my eyeballs and a whole heap of doubt over when ovulation occured!!

If you are :

TTC #1
A woman who has never been pregnant
Pissing on sticks at an ALARMING rate
Potentially with PCOS but healthy ovaries welcome 😁

Then PLEASE join my thread, so in need of buddies in a similar boat! ⛵

No offence to those TTC #2 or more, genuinley ❤️ just hoping to speak to people who also have no idea what pregnancy would feel like, and who also maybe have the fear they CANNOT ever get pregnant ❤️

@MocktailMe Thank you for your kind words and your tips! One of my goals this year is to prioritise my health, which will never be a bad thing and if it has the added side effect of helping my cycles be regular then that's a double win.

Also, thanks about the OPKs - I've not done them yet although I did purchase a pack from Boots the other day for next cycle. I'm using the app Natural Cycles at the mo and measuring BBT almost every morning, so I think I'm currently around 3dpo based on my temp spike and also my CM which has gone from super watery and heavy to a lot creamier (the kind of info we share with strangers lol!!!)

I saw from your post that you're about the same, is that right? How are you feeling this cycle??

Yeah it is one of the most contradictory and confusing feelings isn’t it. You’re not alone and I feel the exact same. Willing this little baby to leave my body, and yet all I want is a baby in there. It’s such a strange mental battle. But knowing the pregnancy is no longer alive I know it’s what is needed, which is why I want it to be over.

Thank you for the reassurance. My only conflict is that the MVA is the same procedure but with local anaesthetic vs general however it was explained they can use more force to remove the tissue vs with the local as you feel the pain. Just hope this time it’s successful!!

Welcome @bramarcan to the 🎢 rollercoaster!

As you can tell there will be highs and lows my biggest tip is try and keep on living and enjoying life and don’t let TTC take over!

I’m non confirmed pcos but suspect I have insulin resistance so have ordered another round of blood tests to check.

I’m also trying out Myo inositol as a supposedly I’ll let you all know how I get on :)

@CharLdn thank you! It’s difficult not to focus on it when you start trying but I saw some great advice about not saying no to future things because you might be pregnant at that time as you can always cancel if you are, which I’m definitely taking heed of.

out of curiosity, what makes you think you have insulin resistance? Sorry if that’s super personal - I don’t know anything about it. And what would that mean for TTC?

@bramarcan definitely book the things!!!!! I had the most incredible Morroco riding holiday and skiing holiday over Christmas that wouldn’t have been possible and have kept me sane!!!

To cut a long story short I have some signs of PCOS but no cysts - and things like excess facial hair, weight in the middle, fatigue after eating, frequent urination etc which can be signs of insulin resistance.

I’ve also been trying for 13 months so want to get it investigated to rule it out.

Insulin resistance makes your eggs less likely to develop, affects chances of fertilisation and implantation, poor egg quality etc.

The good news is supplements like Myo inositol, and drugs like metformin can help as well as lifestyle changes like eating a high protein low GI diet etc.

At the moment (I say having scoffed a croissant for breakfast!) I’m trying to eat a mostly Mediterranean diet high fibre lots of beans etc, walk an average of 10k steps a day and taking coq10, omega 3s, general fertility supplement and myoinositol.

My cycles used to vary by 10 days but at the moment they are very regular 26/27 days so I think the lifestyle changes have made a difference!

@KT199 good luck for today xxx

How are we doing ladies?

I’ve got another round of blood tests tomorrow and now entering the TWW - only managed to DTD 2 days this month but on CD 15 (which is around when I normally ovulate) . I’ve also started taken Myo inositol too so 🤞

Good luck for your bloods!

I'm also on the 2WW but nearing the end now at 9DPO. Everything crossed but not feeling very hopeful.

Sorry @MocktailMe I didn’t reply to your previous comment. Everything went as it should, I’m just praying with every bit of my being this is the end of the miscarriage now 😣. Time will tell, due to test 3 weeks post op again. Really frustrating that in some locations you are scanned whilst under to confirm, but not where I am. It seems unfair that “postcode lottery” plays a part in the care received under the NHS.

Good luck to you and @CharLdn in the TWW i’d love to see some happy positive news on this thread 🥹 we certainly need and are due some!! Keeping my fingers crossed for the both of you.

That does seem really unfair. Is it worth paying for a private scan? Agree you shouldn't need to! But if I felt confident their equipment is up to the Job I'd be tempted for my mental health. 3 weeks feels forever in these times.

Thanks very much. I've tested this morning and negative, but I was negative at 10DPO last time too. I tested on 12DPO and thought it was negative but looked at it after my pregnancy was confirmed and saw there was in fact a very very very faint line. So I know I'm not out. But I don't feel pregnant.

Thanks @KT199 and @MocktailMe everything crossed. I get some answers.

My fasted blood test is at 12 and I’m starving!!!

Hang in there @KT199 sounds like a horrible waiting game so look after yourself ❤️

@MocktailMe it ain’t over till AF sings right? 🤞

I’m currently symptom spotting 3 days PO 🤭

Hi everyone!

I hope you’re all doing okay and hope the blood test went okay for you @CharLdn - when do you get results?

I think I’m 10dpo going by my CM and BBT - only symptoms I’ve had are sore boobs and bloating/gassiness which are typical pms symptoms for me so I don’t have much hope for this cycle! I’m currently on holiday so don’t have any tests, so I think I’ll just wait until after I think AF will be due and then take a test, but a few more days before I have to think about that.

@MocktailMe let’s hope we’re just in the don’t feel pregnant but actually are camp?

@bramarcan thankyou - annoyingly I went fasted and turns out none of them were so I basically starved myself for no reason.

I’ve had a lot done: FSH, LH, Testosterone, glucose, blood count and some others so hopefully if I do get referred for fertility then I’ve got more info.

Not sure re results it’s normally about a week.

Good luck for our TWW - tbh I’ve got two more skiing ⛷️ holidays booked so I’m not too bothered this month. But 🤞 for everyone else!

I feel like my period is coming. My cervix has dropped and I've got PMS etc.

Trying to focus on my upcoming appointment which is only a few days away now. If my period starts this weekend as I am expecting it to then it will be a roughly 29/30 day cycle which is nice and norm and always reassuring. I cope better when it's unsuccessful on a normal cycle then when I end up on a PCOS 40 day nightmare.

I need something to change though. I can't do another year of trying naturally. I no longer have it in me. At this stage I would welcome IVF tomorrow if only to have this hell put my hands.

I've also been having the odd thought about adoption, which is something I've never wanted to think too deeply about before. But now, after the ectopic, I crave being a mother more than ever and I'm finding myself fantasising about different routes. Only daydreams for now.

@MocktailMe are you currently on any fertility medication? I can’t remember from your posts. But I really have all the fingers crossed for your appointment - let’s get you some hope again!

I’m only on my second cycle ttc but even the first period was a bit disheartening so I can only imagine how difficult it is to be a year and to have experienced an ectopic pregnancy. I really hope you get your answers and some much needed reassurance. When is the appointment?

Thank you I appreciate the kindness.

I'm not on any medication and my pregnancy was naturally conceived. We have actually been trying nearly 18 months now. I'm hoping we will be given some meds. Appointment Tuesday.

Hey @MocktailMe !!

All normal and valid feelings. It is reassuring you got pregnant naturally previously but the mental toll at this point I think I would feel similar and think of all avenues. Fingers crossed for a useful appointment that may provide you with some hope.

It could be worth looking into therapy / counselling whilst on this journey if it is weighing on you if you feel you would benefit from it. It is something I’ve started to think about especially post miscarriage as I think the support I would need at the point I become pregnant again would be substantial. My sister has had some as she has her own struggles with TTC and loss and it really helped her.

@MocktailMe ive also been looking into IVF at the moment it’s a long bloody slog!!!

Would really recommend therapy/Accupuncture/ counselling. I have therapy fortnightly and my Accupuncturist is basically a saint (probably more mental support than physical tbh) and we’ve started couples counselling.

I’m not sure what’s changed for me this year but I’ve shifted my perspective to trying to live life with TTC as a part time job rather than having life revolve around it.. I’ve also been doing some stuff to come back to myself a lot more.

I’m still thinking about it a lot but it’s like 25% where as at times last year it was all consuming.

I hope the appointment is useful - sending so much solidarity & big hugs.

if you haven’t listened to it I love the BFN podcast too.

I actually had manged to get to a point of living with TTC but post loss I can't. All I want is to be pregnant again. There is nothing else I'm interested in achieving right now I still find enjoyment in things but that's more day-to-day. I have a job I'm happy in, don't want promotion, I want to go on maternity.
I don't think this is necessarily negative; I think it simply means it is crunch time - we need to start a treatment, get a plan, and decide when we will pursue other avenues.

I've had a lot of therapy in my life and not keen for more - I've honestly been in therapy for years and years of my life and not convinced ruminating will help currently. But if my feelings of restlessness turn to hopelessness I certainly will. Thank you xxxx

Well, what do you know. Taken a cheap test strip this morning and a very VERY faint pink line has appeared. Cannot overstate how faint and thin. Checked the test I took last night and seems to be a similar faint line there too.

I'm not certain I'm 12DPO BTW it is a guesstimate. Could be a little earlier on. Not sure. I will wait and see if these lines turn into clear BFPS or if i start to bleed. Could be dodgy tests. Could be CP.

@MocktailMe omg!!! I have everything crossed for you! Are you going to buy another test? I’m really really hopeful for you

Ill test again tomorrow morning. I started to feel very sick last night and this morning. I am pretty certain I am pregnant right now - what I am less certain of is whether it will be viable. Terrified of another ectopic as the line is so faint. But I'm going to just test again in the mornings of the next few days. If it gets darker then I'll be able to book an early scan due with EPU like I was told to last time. If they fade away to nothing I'll know its chemical. Everything crossed for now.

Oh wow @MocktailMe I have EVERYTHING crossed this is a viable lovely pregnancy for you. Completely understand your worries, keep us updated.. tentative congratulations 💖

@MocktailMe EVERYTHING crossed 🤞 Good luck!

Ahh @MocktailMe I have everything crossed for you! Remember some women don't get a positive test until after their period is due so even if you are 12dpo it's normal for it to be very faint. I totally understand your worries but my fingers are crossed that line gets darker!