TTC #1 no previous pregnancies cycle #6 - looking for others in the same boat!

[MocktailMe]

Hi all.

As per the title, TTC first baby, I've never had a confirmed pregnancy before. I'm 31, bf is 27.

Been trying to conceive 9 months, but due to PCOS only 6 cycles.

This year I've lost weight, and my cycles since January have varied from 28 days to 38 days. Had PCOS confirmed, and currently waiting for an appointment with gynaecologist to see if I need further assistance. Appointment is taking its sweet time so for now doing it the old fashioned way still with plenty of hope (at least some days, not so much others!!!).

I'm currently on cycle day number 28, negative tests, no signs of a period in sight, CM up to my eyeballs and a whole heap of doubt over when ovulation occured!!

If you are :

TTC #1
A woman who has never been pregnant
Pissing on sticks at an ALARMING rate
Potentially with PCOS but healthy ovaries welcome 😁

Then PLEASE join my thread, so in need of buddies in a similar boat! ⛵

No offence to those TTC #2 or more, genuinley ❤️ just hoping to speak to people who also have no idea what pregnancy would feel like, and who also maybe have the fear they CANNOT ever get pregnant ❤️

Morning everyone!
I have a question if anyone can help 🤔
My BBT has confirmed ovulation for CD12 (earliest I’ve ever ovulated in a year of tracking) but I didn’t get a positive ovulation test until CD13 (using easy at home sticks).. is it possible that it can happen this way where you ovulate before the surge?! I’m so confused and feeling really disappointed as if it was CD12 we don’t really have a chance this month as we waited for my CB flashing smiley which was CD12 also.

Hi @KT199 I have read that it is possible to get a peak LH reading after ovulation (I can't remember the figures exactly but I think it said it happens in about 10% of women). Is it possible that your temperature rise could have been due to something else, did you sleep funny or were you under the weather? Which app are you using to track your BBT?

Hey! Gosh no wonder I’m having no luck if that’s what’s happening here 😳 I always go off my LH peak and my CB flashing to suggest it’s go time 🥲
I use FF and Natural Cycles - FF has confirmed it but NC hasn’t as yet.. that’s still waiting to see if I ovulate in line with its prediction as per my normal ovulation day of CD15-16. Last night my sleep was a little broken, but all the other nights no I don’t think so.. and my apple watch is set to auto take temp at 6am every morning.

My tests and temps do normally line up, so wondering if it’s just an off month? 🤯

@KT199 It's also possible you just missed the start of your surge, usually my OPKs stay positive for like 3 days. I tend to test multiple times a day around ovulation so I don't miss it, because the first positive is the one you want to go with in terms of when ovulation will happen, so if you are only testing once a day you could miss it

Thanks for the advice, I’ve been testing 2 times a day minimum since CD8 so I didn’t think I had missed it, and I defo tested on morning of and end of CD12, towards end of CD12 it had increased slightly to 0.3 from 0.1 🤷🏻‍♀️.

My other BBT app is tentatively looking to confirm yesterday at ovu day which makes more sense, but it needs more temp data (tomorrow, Friday).

Guess I’ll have to wait and see, it is what it is! Almost an easier pill to swallow if we missed the window, albeit frustrating but not questioning what’s wrong with us. Thank you for your help 😊

@KT199 it's all such a minefield. If you had sex any time around that window you will still be in with a chance. The cycle I got pregnant we only had sex twice about 3 days apart so I thought I hadn't hit the days and then to my surprise it worked. Whereas other cycles I have thought I've nailed the timing and absolutely no pregnancy to be seen 🤣

@KT199 tracking ovulation is a nightmare!

I'd say it's certainly possible your temp was a little out of sorts for plenty of other reasons, as @Waitingformiracle says - a lot can affect it.

So long as you DTD in the fertile period you are in with a chance so don't count yourself out yet!

@Waitingformiracle @MocktailMe tracking is a complete minefield I’ve had enough! Really want to go cold turkey next month and just DTD frequently to give us a chance.. but I’m also a control freak and don’t know if I could resist the urges 😂

Do you both track monthly?

@KT199 I am a complete control freak so I track a lot. I have the Mira monitor but I also back it up with OPKs and my clear blue digital monitor because I have trust issues lol. I used to also temp but I have packed that in because I found it too hard and I also hated the very first thing I think about when I wake up to be TTC. Last month I decided I would not track and just DTD every few days but then I completely panicked around CD10 and started tracking again. I ovulate early these days (around day 11 or 12) so I thankfully don't have to track for too long, then once I confirm ovulation with a PdG rise on my Mira monitor I stop until it's time to obsessively test for pregnancy 🤣

I do with OPKS! Not very well tho obviously considering it's now CD42 not a hint of blood at all and no idea where in my cycle I am 😂😂😂 but it keeps me busy guessing!!!

@Waitingformiracle we sound so similar 😅😅 I already know if I say no tracking I’ll crack and do it anyway! I like to think I’m in control, but clearly my body stuck up 2 fingers up to that this month 😂

@MocktailMe that’s so frustrating!! 😔 hopefully you find out where you stand soon!

@KT199 I've been thinking about stopping tracking for a couple of months to take the pressure off too but I think I'm like you guys and I'll panic around suspected ovulation time and cave 😂I also quite like seeing the graph, I was genuinely a bit disappointed about missing my peak this month because it made the graph look weird compared to usual 😅

We've had a bit of a curveball thrown at us now, DH has been asked to go abroad for work for 2 months starting asap so I'm really hoping I'm pregnant this month or our chances of conceiving before Christmas have almost gone out the window 😫There is a possibility that I can go out and visit him and he might be able to come back for a few days but I reckon the stress of having to time that around ovulation won't do us any favours. I really didn't want to miss any cycles as we approach a year of trying but we just have to suck it up. He does also have the choice of turning it down but we discussed it and decided it's too good of an opportunity to let someone else go instead

Oh @Tater05 what bad timing. I really understand your confliction - it would seem silly if he turned it down and then you ended up not conceiving those two cycles, but I would also find that very hard.

A couple months break may end up doing you some good though - I can't bring myself to take a voluntary one, but I think if I had an enforced one it would probably do me some good!

Fingers crossed you have conceived this month, and don't end up with this mattering!

Evening ladies, haven’t managed to kill anyone this week 🤣 have to say wish I stayed off, it’s so busy I’m like a zombie !

How are we all?

I’ve experienced tonight my first bit of ‘anger’. Colleague who I mentioned being pregnant is now off work, so increased workload for the rest of us…had the audacity to email about something whilst off so I responded to say in a nice way thanks for leaving me to do other job (will add this person knows why I was off).

Secondly just seen a pregnancy announcement from someone my Husband works with who I also used to work with (also knows about our loss) and been less than a week of them knowing. Also knows I would see the social media announcement.

Thought I was doing ok and now not so sure 😕

@MocktailMe I hadn't actually thought about if he turned it down and we still don't end up conceiving, that definitely wouldn't have done us any good going forwards! It all literally came up out of nowhere yesterday so it was a bit to wrap our heads round but I'm sure it will work out fine. There are far worse situations!

@KTB34 well done for not killing anyone! Has going back to work helped you keep your mind off it? It can be a fine balance between keeping your mind busy and having to deal with other people, especially when they all seem to be pregnant.

People seem to forget about everyone else when they want to share their news. One of my close friends had been trying for years and had just found out that her first round of IVF had failed when her sister in law, who knew the situation, announced on social media that she was pregnant with their 3rd. Way to knock someone when they're down. It's crappy hearing about it all so much, sending hugs ❤️

@ktb34 social media pregnancy announcements are quite literally the worst thing that modern social norms have developed. I can't stand them, and I've felt like this a long time before I began TTC. I have always thought that with close friends and family you'd surely break the news more personally, so who is the announcement for? Casual acquaintances?? Why is it deemed appropriate?? Not only is it upsetting for some people who may see it en masse, but it just feels like a crass overshare even to those who aren't. If I'm not close enough to tell personally, then why do I need to see a photo of your scan minutes after you had it???

I swear most of the children born to my old classmates I could answer every single security question going after a dive into their mother's page... Date of birth, place of birth, mother's maiden name, first pet, first street lived on etc etc! It's all there for literally anyone to find!

Personally I'd unfriend or hide anyone currently pregnant (I always have anyway as usually very annoying) so that you don't have to see any more stuff.

@Tater05 @MocktailMe work has been ok, to be honest I think I plunged myself in to avoid how I’m feeling, but on the flip side it has been good to be out of the house and not in my own head.

I know people don’t owe me anything but it has reminded me how insensitive people really can be, especially because I am so aware of others feelings. I have now muted a couple of people on social media for the sake of my sanity 🤣

So glad it’s Friday. I hope you are both well

P.s @Tater05 hope this is your month but if not a break may be good for your sanity !

I think that was a wise choice!

I'm okay, just a bit fed up. It's now CD 44 which is the longest cycle I've ever had in the last 4 years of tracking my periods, even before TTC. I have no idea when I ovulated. I said a few days ago on here it felt like I was about to come on any moment but that passed and now I don't feel anything!

@KTB34 it is good to have something that distracts you being in your own head too much, I find it impossible not to overthink about everything in general if I don't keep busy. Hope you get to have a restful weekend! And you might be right, a break could be useful, I'll try to get in the frame of mind that it's good if we're in the same place during my fertile window but doesn't matter if it doesn't work out that way.

@MocktailMe same, I know way too much about the children of people who I haven't seen for 15 years. People have gotten too used to posting literally everything about themselves and unfortunately include their children in it. Sorry to hear you're still on this cycle, is there a point where you can go to your GP about it? Like if it gets to 50 days or something? They say if you have changes to your cycle to go to a GP but I reckon you'll have to do some advocating for yourself to get them to look into it.

@Tater05 I think as I have PCOS they won't care. But for me this is unusual! The most annoying part is at this rate my CD 10 might well fall whilst I'm due to be away, which will mean I won't get my HSG til December :(

Luckily my partners sperm test is in November and after the HSG the ball will be rolling onto Clomid and then IVF. My plan is if not period by December call the doctors and have the period induced with drugs so I can get the HSG done in December. Hoping it comes before then though. I have logged signs of ovulation around 11 days ago so it might.

@MocktailMe yeah I did think that, it's ridiculous because if it's unusual for you they should look into it but they probably would just say it's the PCOS. It's good you still have a plan though, even if you are away for your CD 10 that's hopefully only one month then you can move forward in December. Fingers crossed your ovulation was 11 days ago and you might know where you are in a few days! Hopefully you'll be out of limbo soon

@MocktailMe sorry to hear your body is messing you around 😔 the limbo stage is not ok !

Hi @Tater05

It’s the weekend! Couldn’t have come quick enough lol

Thanks girls, it helps to have other people appreciate just how frustrating this is! All feels like dead time wasted to me!

The good news is with it being the weekend this is when I work the most hours, I only work a few hours in the week so lots of time by myself then (which I love in fairness and keep busy for, but it doesn't help distract me!) so it will be Monday before I know it, and hopefully something will change for me over those days.

I can't help but keep hoping I had a late ovulation and caught it and could be pregnant still.

Was chatting to one of the pregnant women at work today who had thought she was 20 weeks but has just found out she's only 12. She has such irregular periods she had dated from LMP but actually only conceived and implanted 6-7 weeks into her cycle! So clearly some people do still catch even right up to CD 50 odd!! Which is interesting as my doctors have previously told me anything over 35 is anovulatory and I've always doubted how that could be true, as you would never get a period without ovulating eventually.

Honestly tracking has made ttc become my entire personality tbh and I hate it!! But I also can’t stop it 🙃 mentally it’s no good for me as I’m 24/7 thinking about it from the minute I wake with checking my BBT. I also considered adding further testing to this today, I was going to buy the PDG tests to confirm/deny ovulation and if confirmed whether it was a weak/strong ovulation. I need to find the off switch!!

Maybe a break will help reset and recharge you, it’s certainly an all consuming journey! I’m sure not focusing on ttc will let you live in the moment again.

@MocktailMe my pregnancy was dated from my last ‘LMP’ which meant when I booked an early scan I went thinking I was nearly 7 weeks, in fact when I went I was more like 4 and then when I went 2 1/2 weeks later I was 6w 1d. So I’d say you can ovulate later. Feel for your colleague must make her pregnancy feel forever lol