TTC #1 no previous pregnancies cycle #6 - looking for others in the same boat!

[MocktailMe]

Hi all.

As per the title, TTC first baby, I've never had a confirmed pregnancy before. I'm 31, bf is 27.

Been trying to conceive 9 months, but due to PCOS only 6 cycles.

This year I've lost weight, and my cycles since January have varied from 28 days to 38 days. Had PCOS confirmed, and currently waiting for an appointment with gynaecologist to see if I need further assistance. Appointment is taking its sweet time so for now doing it the old fashioned way still with plenty of hope (at least some days, not so much others!!!).

I'm currently on cycle day number 28, negative tests, no signs of a period in sight, CM up to my eyeballs and a whole heap of doubt over when ovulation occured!!

If you are :

TTC #1
A woman who has never been pregnant
Pissing on sticks at an ALARMING rate
Potentially with PCOS but healthy ovaries welcome 😁

Then PLEASE join my thread, so in need of buddies in a similar boat! ⛵

No offence to those TTC #2 or more, genuinley ❤️ just hoping to speak to people who also have no idea what pregnancy would feel like, and who also maybe have the fear they CANNOT ever get pregnant ❤️

@Tater05 hey. GP has said my blood profile doesn’t fit with PCOS however I have no periods (well didn’t till pregnancy) and I have the ovaries on a scan. Also - losing chunks of hair 😭

Feeling very low today, the reality of miscarriage is feeling heavy today. I’ve barely left the house for the last 2 weeks and my hormones have caused me to feel out of shape, spotty skin…urgh. In the mind of don’t want to try again as couldn’t imagine going through this again ! I’m just miserable today 🤣

Hey @Tater05 and @MocktailMe I am also with you both on the whole not knowing what my body is doing. My OPKs are getting darker and my Mira says my estrogen is sky high which happens before ovulation, but I am only on CD9! So looking like I might ovulate early which I've read can mean the egg won't be mature enough. I'm hoping it pushes out to at least CD11 or 12 as anything earlier I have read isn't a great chance of sustaining a pregnancy. Not that I have much hope for this cycle!

It's definitely comforting that the hertility consultant didn't think 8 months was too long @Tater05 and hopefully the diet and other suggestions can help. I would definitely keep testing and I hope you catch your ovulation!

@MocktailMe that is incredibly frustrating, I know how tricky it is to book the HSG as I'm trying to book my hycosy for November as well. The dates are very specific and they wait to see if other people cancel etc so it's can be difficult to pin down. I hope that you either get your bfp or your period soon so you know where you are at!

Hey @Waitingformiracle try not to stress - ovulation on day 11 would mean a full cycle length of around 25 days which is considered normal!

@KTB34 hey, it sounds like you're really going through it at the moment :( sorry to hear about your hair - that can be stress and hormone related so it should hopefully ease up both ways once this ordeal is all over and you start to heal. Have you been given any sort of timeline as to when you expect a new cycle to begin again?

For anyone wondering I'm still BFN and no period CD38. Its now my longest cycle all year. We continued DTD and still are all month long, so if ovulation has passed we may have caught it, but I don't know how many DPO I am as to when I can reasonably expect my period, or a BFP by some miracle.

Hey @MocktailMe yeah, pretty shit. But, life has to continue, taking each day as it comes. I can still carry on with life even if I’m sad every day 🙂 I’ve been told it could take around 4-6 weeks for my next period, however I wasn’t having proper periods so who knows 🤣 will have to see what my body decides to do I think.

Sorry to hear about the long cycle, it’s so frustrating! You never know, the delay might be because of a BFP pending…keep the faith !

Hey @KTB34 I'm so sorry you're struggling at the moment. If it is any help, I think what you are feeling is so so normal. I still experience days like that even 5 months out. But they became less frequent as time goes on for me and now I just have bad moments rather than bad days. Your body has been through so much and it's going to feel off for a while. I am thinking of you and hope your physically recovery speeds up and that you get your period back asap, I found that was a big milestone!

@Waitingformiracle thank you, yes I agree all part of the grieving process !

Also hoping my periods return but not holding out much hope as I’ve read if irregular before a miscarriage will continue to be after too.

Anybody on here have any recommendations to help with thinning hair ?

For the thinning hair I'd try doing an olaplex number 3 treatment, to strengthen the remaining hair you have.

You could try getting some of the tinted spray if you've got any patches on the scalp - works like hairspray but will leave colour on your scalp. I've a friend who used this religiously on her hairline and it looks good.

Beyond thatz get a good multivitamin - when I'm really sad I find my appetite drops so you need to make sure you're getting what you need.

@MocktailMe I’m going to do some research! I’ve decided to go back to work tomorrow and just found out a colleague I work with very closely with is pregnant 🥺 I want to be happy for her but feel so sad for us, I think this will be the norm now feeling like that!

@KTB34 I'm so sorry, that really sucks.

To be honest, I don't think you actually have to be happy for her. You have to be polite, you have to be civil, and you have to stop yourself saying anything bitter or uncomfortable.

However, you don't have to feel happy for her (so don't berate yourself, or feel guilty that you don't), and you especially don't have to listen to her talk about her pregnancy, or baby, or look at scan photos or anything like that at all.

I've mentioned before that due to a very large workplace I'm constantly working with pregnant women and I personally just won't entertain any of it. I give polite responses when spoken to directly about their pregnancy, and then change the subject. I walk away or look very busy on breaks if the subject turns up, or crack on with my work if it comes up during working hours. I'm always polite to them all, but I stop short of sitting and discussing names, and looking at scans, or lending a sympathetic ear to pregnancy woes. I don't want to force myself to do any of that, so instead I just put a little distance, it really helps me not spiral during working hours.

@MocktailMe thank you for the advice. I too work in a large organisation 150 + staff and we are mainly female dominated so I can imagine this will be the norm now. That said, me and her do associate outside of work too so I would like to think knowing my situation she would be empathetic to me. However, nothing surprises me these days 🤣

But I agree being polite, civil will the best way. I’ve unfollowed so many people on social media, hid ads etc all in the name of keeping my sanity!

I am glad I have you guys to talk to, people who understand and live it daily !

With you on the hiding people on SM! Anything that can make it a little bit easier really.

I agree, it's impossible to discuss this stuff IRL - people either start to look like they feel sorry for me (which I hate), or give unsolicited advice (which I also hate), or act as though I'm being silly and dramatic (it'll happen when it happens! Which I hate MOST OF ALL) so it's really easier to save my ranting for on here 😄

@MocktailMe I couldn't agree with you more about the whole "you don't have to be happy". Thank you for saying that because it's really validating, sometimes I really want to hear that I don't have to be happy for everyone else.

I also work in a large company and feel like I can't escape the pregnancy stuff. Just the other day a coworker told me her news and then wouldn't stop talking about it, even though she knows what I've been through. I just smiled and removed myself from the situation.

@KTB34 I actually deleted social media because I just couldn't stand it and all the baby pictures so I totally understand what you mean

@MocktailMe @Waitingformiracle this is definitely a club I’d rather be in. As much as my husband, family and friends have been great it’s just not the same unless that person has experience of it!

My neighbour came to visit this week and asked how far along I had got to, and when I said I should’ve been 8 weeks today she said ‘oh so you weren’t that far along’, I wanted to punch her tbh 🤣

Do you guys have any updates today?

@KTB34 omg I'd actually have punched her 🤣 wtf!! People honestly say the worst things and have no idea.

I think I am ovulating today, or possibly tomorrow. I started getting positive OPKs yesterday and I think my peak this morning. We DTD today, yesterday and Thursday, so I'm hoping that is enough. I don't know if we should also try tomorrow, although I think my poor husband is exhausted 🤣

No updates here - now CD39 no signs of anything at all. BFN.

I'm now entering a point where 2 weeks ago we had a few days break from sex. So if I start my period in the next four-ish days it means we entirely missed the fertile window 🙈

However, I don't feel like I usually do when my period is only a few days away. So I'm thinking I actually ovulated extremely late - on Flo I logged sore boobs and EWCM a week ago today (and had sex that day too) so you never know, I could be as little as 7dpo after all.

Time will tell!

@MocktailMe the EWCM from 7 days ago sounds really promising!! I have all my fingers crossed for you to get a BFP! 🤞

@KTB34 what is wrong with people, do they have absolutely no empathy!

@MocktailMe completely with you on doing what you have to do to make it a touch easier. And if they know what you're going through and still want to talk about it I don't think you need to be polite 🙃 sorry you're still waiting for something this cycle, that's so frustrating. Sounds like you might have ovulated late so still crossing my fingers for you 🤞🏼

@Waitingformiracle sounds like you have it properly covered, your poor husband 😂 I'm sure he doesn't mind really!

I think I did ovulate earlier than normal and I missed my peak, I do usually get a very sudden surge so it's easy to miss. Luckily it was our anniversary the day before I think I ovulated so we might have caught it. It was one of the few times we dtd outside of the fertile window these days 😅 still testing opks and it's very low, but my bbt is just going up and up, higher than normal. So maybe I'm just coming down with something

Morning @Waitingformiracle @MocktailMe @Tater05 sounds like between the 3 of you some positive signs ! Keeping everything crossed for you all ❤️ keep us updated !

I have just got up for my first day back at work, wish me luck! Let’s hope I don’t punch a member of staff or a child 🤣🤣🤣

Best of luck @KTB34 remember if you do punch them, they probably deserved it 🤣🤣 seriously best of luck though and I hope it's not too hard! You've got this 💪

@Tater05 yes the "poor" man 🤣 I'm sure if you told men or young guys outside of the TTC sphere about all this constant scheduled sex it would sound great, but in reality I think for us anyway TTC has made sex the biggest chore.
It's hard to catch the LH surge sometimes so that's good you had covered yourself anyway with your anniversary. Fingers crossed for you guys 🤞

@Tater05 if you went for it the day before O then you're in with a great chance!

@Waitingformiracle totally get you the best sex we have is always outside the fertile window, usually actually period sex is the best now as zero pressure - just fun.

@KTB34 best of luck on going back to work - take it at your own pace and don't feel obliged to talk about why you've been off to anyone you don't want to!

Hey ladies how was first day back @KTB34 ?

Feeling a touch despondent today - my usual period cramping has arrived and I keep running to the loo as I feel like I've come on, so far it's only white lotion-like CM but just waiting for the blood. On the one hand it's a relief really, as this 40 day cycle is messing with my head, but after so many days without a period a part of me is still desperately hoping and hoping and I think it will hit me hard.

I just wish I knew what DPO I am! If it's 13 then the cramps make sense, if it is only 7/8 then they don't, and I'm beginning to wonder if this cycle will ever end!

@MocktailMe busy! I got in about 7.40 and left at 7pm 🤣 safe to say I am exhausted and currently getting ready for bed

@MocktailMe I'm so sorry you're going through this. I can't imagine how frustrating it is! Have you continued to take HPTs?

@KTB34 bless you don't overdo it! But busy is good too as keeps your mind active!

@Waitingformiracle I did yesterday and BFN. it might be way too soon to test though and it's possible I've not even ovulated yet, although I have done OPKS all week and they are very very faint.

Obviously I want to be pregnant, but I also really want to know where in my cycle I am too - I can cope better if I know whats going on and I feel very in the dark at the moment with my own body - it's a strange feeling!