TTC #1 no previous pregnancies cycle #6 - looking for others in the same boat!

[MocktailMe]

Hi all.

As per the title, TTC first baby, I've never had a confirmed pregnancy before. I'm 31, bf is 27.

Been trying to conceive 9 months, but due to PCOS only 6 cycles.

This year I've lost weight, and my cycles since January have varied from 28 days to 38 days. Had PCOS confirmed, and currently waiting for an appointment with gynaecologist to see if I need further assistance. Appointment is taking its sweet time so for now doing it the old fashioned way still with plenty of hope (at least some days, not so much others!!!).

I'm currently on cycle day number 28, negative tests, no signs of a period in sight, CM up to my eyeballs and a whole heap of doubt over when ovulation occured!!

If you are :

TTC #1
A woman who has never been pregnant
Pissing on sticks at an ALARMING rate
Potentially with PCOS but healthy ovaries welcome 😁

Then PLEASE join my thread, so in need of buddies in a similar boat! ⛵

No offence to those TTC #2 or more, genuinley ❤️ just hoping to speak to people who also have no idea what pregnancy would feel like, and who also maybe have the fear they CANNOT ever get pregnant ❤️

My partner and I are going to try artificial insemination this month. To be honest it's targeted ads that have got me this time...I keep seeing all these videos of how it gets the sperm where it needs to be and how only 5% make it to the cervix but using a syringe you can improve your chances and keep it in the right spot longer etc.

Even I think this is probably bollocks honestly, and this time last year I wouldn't have bothered with it, but for the sake of a tenner on sterile pots and 20 for the 'special applicator' which admittedly looks an awful lot like a simple needless syringe ... well I can spare 30 quid to give it a go.

The plan is sex one day, syringe the other to cover every day of the fertile window. I suppose if by some miracle I do get pregnant I'll never know if it was the special applicator or not 😂 so I won't even be able to give you all feedback!!!

I'm aware I've fallen completely down a rabbit hole but I had a complete breakdown the other day about how hard this all is and I really feel like I need to have some sense of control over this, I know I can't control it, but it helps to feel like I'm doing something.

@MocktailMe my husband and I do this! He struggles with delayed ejaculation and performance anxiety sometimes so we do this to take the pressure off! We did it exclusively this month as he was struggling! Happy to answer any questions you have as I have done a LOT of research!

@Tater05 thank you! I really need to remember that I am still relatively young on the grander scheme of things. I definitely find trying to stay a bit checked out helps a lot, and keeping expectations low. As you say it's easier said than done. Because I was away with friends over the weekend I really did switch off about it all, but I know now when I get back home the urge to test will start 🙄

@Tater05 I wasn’t on the mini pill so I don’t know what’s caused mine. I obviously didn’t really take much notice of it until we started trying so I don’t know if it’s something I’ve always had or it developed more recently.

@MocktailMe we've also tried that! We actually only did it once. It was mainly to take the pressure off my husband so he doesn’t feel the stress of performing each time but since we got a few we’ve only used one once as it seems just having it in a cupboard relieves the pressure for him.

That's interesting, it had never properly occured to me before I saw all these ads.

My partner is okay with it mostly, we can struggle with timings for shift work though. But I'm always paranoid about it dripping out, or me moving or washing too soon or the right position, even though there's not much science that backs up any of that mattering! TMI but we often do it with me top and I worry that's not working. At least with this I can be 100% sure it got where it needed to be!

It's funny because as a teenager I was always told things like position, or having a wee or a bath wouldn't make any difference - you'd get pregnant anyway! But now I want the opposite I'm worried those things actually make a massive difference after all.

@MocktailMe I wouldn't worry too much about the spillage, apparently the sperm get where they need to go and there will always be semen that comes out again. Although they do recommend with the insemination that you lay down with your hips elevated for a while afterwards. I've stalked so many threads on this and I actually posted a thread on this exact topic few weeks back. A few women got in contact with me to say they conceived their LC this way so I'm hopeful that it can work!

I was feeling so chilled about not testing this month yesterday, and now today I am going crazy thinking about it. I'm only 7DPO and I always hate this second week in the TWW because the urge to test creeps in

7dpo is when I usually take the first test so I completely understand, even though I know the chance is so low at 7dpo!

The second week is the worst week in the month I think!

@MocktailMe I totally agree it's the worst! I'll probably cave and test in the morning which will be 8DPO. I'm feeling nothing which I guess could be a good sign but who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️ you are approaching ovulation this week right?

I agree no symptoms means very little especially as early as you are!

I'm expecting ovulation round about now but I haven't caught peak on OPKs. Admittedly though I've only taken one per day all week, and at varying times so I easily could have missed it. All the ones I have taken have had a very faint second line only, but I know the bolder ones only linger for 24 hours or so, I could have missed it. I've had EWCM which is usually a sure sign so we have been DTD regardless.

@MocktailMe yes I find mine usually go positive later in the day so if you're testing in the morning you could just have missed it but great you are covering your bases and DTD anyway! Honestly next cycle I'm thinking I'll just not take any OPKs and just DTD every few days. Take a bit of a break from the obsessive testing!

Hello everyone ! I hope everyone is doing ok?

Sorry for the radio silence, back to work this week so life has been busy 🤣

So update…went for a private scan today to see if baby had a heartbeat. Only to be told I’m not even 6 weeks yet, so given the irregular ‘fake’ periods after stopping the pill not even sure how far the pregnancy is. I left with more questions than answers ! The journey is never simple 🤣

@Waitingformiracle honestly that is what my doctor recommended - she said not to bother with testing and just make sure you have sex a couple of times a week unprotected. Which honestly is surely how most pregnancies do happen!

She also said that although it is stated that sperm live up to 5 days that is only as that's what they have evidence from from various studies - they used to only have 2 days and so stated that. But she said many patients have come to her who had ovulation confirmed by bloods etc, pregnant after sex 6,7 or even 8 days later.

She said often (where there are no issues with ovulation) the reason people aren't pregnant every single month is due to sperm or egg having a problem that makes pregnancy unviable, nothing to do with timing whatsoever.

It was honestly extremely reassuring, and actually echos stories I've heard in real life over and over again - people who had sex just once, people who had sex a day or two after their period etc.

I feel okay currently as I believe ovulation to be over (following my body cues) and it's much too early to test. I do think another month of negative following my relaxed mind is going to hit me hard though. I'm finding it very hard as I'm back to the time of year I started at - picturing first scans around Christmas time just as I had imagined this time last year. It's going to be hard going through another winter without a pregnancy.

@MocktailMe sending you lots of positive vibes and love ❤️

@MocktailMe

I’m sorry you’re having a hard time with it. I totally understand. We started trying this time last year and it’s hard to believe I might spend a second Christmas not even being pregnant, let alone having a baby. There’s just no way of knowing what is to come with fertility, but I suppose we have to remain hopeful as it really only takes one time.

I’m planning on phoning the clinic we saw last year on Monday to set up another appointment, I really feel like we could benefit from IUI due to my husbands poor sperm so I’d like to explore that.

That is really reassuring to hear that from your doctor, I guess that really means the best thing to do is just have frequent sex. It’s good to know! I suppose the only way to ever really know if we are ovulating is with scans etc.

Hey ladies @CharLdn @D23 @Familyfirst12 @JW24M @LuckyFinch @Nessie2395 @Tater05 @ToomanyBFNs how are we all getting on? Has anyone else got good news as well as @KTB34 ?

Thinking of you all.

I believe ovulation is now over - my boobs are sore which is usually a solid sign. I never did get a peak OPK but we have DTD/HI 4 times in this last week, so I'm hoping well covered.

I know it's silly but I feel really reassured for the first time since using the syringes - like I actually know for once that the sperm went where they are supposed to, right next to the cervix. I know it's silly as I don't think really it can make much difference but has reassured me.

Of course if I have another failed cycle I'll now be at a loss as to what I can try next 😅

crossing my fingers for you sweet!

9DPO for me. Had some easy@home showing a faint line and some not. Nothing on my test this morn so bought some bigger ones from boots on my lunch - saving the clear blues for when I actually get a clear positive. Trying to be optimistic. Discharge is quite a lot considering i’d expect it still to be dryish which ive read is a good sign? No spotting or anything. Achey boobs still haha. I just want to know either way so i’m not waiting and waiting. Feel silly for testing and wish I could stop! Keep looking up BFN 9DPO stories that have turned into BFP’s lol!!! Xx

@JW24M ooo I feel you I've read all the threads going where people tested negative 9dpo, then positive at 10dpo....then the next day I'm looking for negative at 10dpo...but postive at 11dpo 😅

Last month those evap lines on my test strips really messes with my head - especially as appeared during time frame. I'd love to say I'll not test early again after that experience but I definitely will be doing!!!!

My discharge usually only dries up the day before or morning of my period starting, I usually have a lot of discharge until a matter of hours before AF so I can't rely on it until a pregnancy test would have already ruled me out! If it never dries up that's a good sign for sure x

That is good to know thank you!! I’ll keep checking haha. Feel like i’ve become an expert this month learning everything on these threads!! Just really hoping for us all xx

Hey everyone,

@MocktailMe thanks for checking in!

I’m good I’ve had all my tests now and things all look ok - I have above follicles for my age so that’s reassuring.

We took a month off this month for sanity as it’s been really hard as I’ve been obsessed by it and my partner said I’ve been ignoring him outside the sex week so we’re trying to take pressure off and work on our relationship a bit.

I also have just had a shift in trying to rush to get pregnant to more of a view of it will happen when it happens and if it doesn’t in a year we’ll look at options. I’m 35..

I think we’ve only been having sex at the right time probably for 3-4 months so using Mira we’ll continue to track and try.

I’m also going to Morocco next week and then we’re going to australia for a month so I’m not in a rush to be pregnant then.

then plot twist my partners going to Switzerland for work for 3 months from Dec so I’ll be travelling over for ovulation - but also doing lots of skiing!!! Best case scenario is I get pregnant before he goes but as we know no guarantees.

We should get sperm results this week too to see if there’s anything to work on there…

Overall I’ve chilled out on having a timeline in mind which has helped!!! And talking to my sister about how hard parenting is and not rushing this phase of my life ❤️

Keeping my fingers crossed for you @JW24M! Also hope it’s worked for you this month @MocktailMe - sounds like you’ve covered all bases this month.

@CharLdn taking a month off sounds like it’s done the world of good. Switzerland sounds great - what a good excuse to go over for sex and skiing 😂

All ok here. About to head in to fertile period of cycle 12 (am on day 10) so will be dtd over the next week, although we do dtd pretty regularly anyway so no real difference. I’ve decided to start drinking copious amounts of grapefruit juice as I don’t get loads of EWCM each month and I’ve heard that can help but who knows. I think I’ve had a bit more cm so far this month so maybe it is having an impact. I’m also not holding my breath…

In other news, we saw a fertility clinic through my husbands bupa insurance and they’ve said the next step for us would be IVF as there’s no real point in putting me on clomid given my regular cycles so we may be starting that in the next couple of months. We are just trying to decide when.

That’s exciting! I know it probly feels disheartening that it hasn’t happened but having ivf there as an option is a positive step. Sending love xxx

@ToomanyBFNs that's really exciting news. I suppose it feels differently when you know clomid won't work for you, but I've found myself already viewing clomid as an annoying time block between now and IVF for me...the success rates are so much better for IVF that I wish I could go straight into it rather than clomid, but I also feel stupid not to try.

@CharLdn really sounds like you're taking all these changes in your stride! Good for you, mentally it sounds like you're in a much healthier place. It will be hard when your partner is away I'm sure so feel free to check in with us as often as you like! You do always hear of it happening when people are relaxed so I truly hope this approach leads to happiness for you with or without a baby imminently.

Thanks everyone! Definitely a few mixed emotions about it - it isn't the way I wanted us to conceive plus the process is a bit daunting BUT I am also relieved we have this as an option and really hopeful it will give us the outcome that we want so keeping everything crossed.

@MocktailMe I hear you on the Clomid point, you never know it may work - it worked for a colleague of mine who struggled with irregular periods but who knows. Although I hate that I have just said that - you hear so many stories from everyone about what worked for them when doing this whole process and the reality is it is so different for each couple. I have mostly just stopped listening to all the 'helpful' anecdotes, I know people mean well but it just isn't that helpful!

Hiya! We’re on cycle one of trying for first baby. Period is late by 4 days but all tests are negative. Came off contraception in April. 😅

@ToomanyBFNs no don't worry, I do like to hear that things work for other people, when it's medical anyway! I heavily dislike being told it'll happen when it'll happen, or anecdotal tales about wonder vitamins etc, but when it's scientifically backed stuff I feel hope hearing about people it has helped ❤️

Welcome @SRH :) Have you been waiting since April to get your cycle back after contraceptives? Did you track ovulation this month? If you're 4 days late a test would be positive by now, but if you ovulated a week or so later than usual you might simply be too early to know. It's a lot to wrap your head around to begin with!

Did you take any pre-conception tablets? I was ten days late on them 😬