TTC #1 no previous pregnancies cycle #6 - looking for others in the same boat!

[MocktailMe]

Hi all.

As per the title, TTC first baby, I've never had a confirmed pregnancy before. I'm 31, bf is 27.

Been trying to conceive 9 months, but due to PCOS only 6 cycles.

This year I've lost weight, and my cycles since January have varied from 28 days to 38 days. Had PCOS confirmed, and currently waiting for an appointment with gynaecologist to see if I need further assistance. Appointment is taking its sweet time so for now doing it the old fashioned way still with plenty of hope (at least some days, not so much others!!!).

I'm currently on cycle day number 28, negative tests, no signs of a period in sight, CM up to my eyeballs and a whole heap of doubt over when ovulation occured!!

If you are :

TTC #1
A woman who has never been pregnant
Pissing on sticks at an ALARMING rate
Potentially with PCOS but healthy ovaries welcome 😁

Then PLEASE join my thread, so in need of buddies in a similar boat! ⛵

No offence to those TTC #2 or more, genuinley ❤️ just hoping to speak to people who also have no idea what pregnancy would feel like, and who also maybe have the fear they CANNOT ever get pregnant ❤️

Hi All, I’d love to join this group if that’s ok! I am TTC #1 since August last year. I did manage to fall pregnant after 7 months but sadly that ended in a loss at 18 weeks. I’m now on cycle #3 trying again. This seems like a lovely supportive group

@Waitingformiracle wishing you the best of luck

@lavafield I was in a group previously with lots of us older ladies late 30s and 40s and quite alot of them did manage to fall pregnant naturally.
I took q10 before my ivf round and I also took mnm as I'd heard it might improve quality as its touted to be an anti ager for the ovaries. A study had shown it improved egg quality in older mice. I'm not a mouse but was willing to try anything 😄. I took a few other things aswell , actually I took so many pills I started to rattle as I walked

Hoping for your miracle ✨ sending love xx

Congratulations @KTB34! You must be thrilled, have you seen your GP? Hope it all went well.

Hi @Waitingformiracle, so sorry for your loss, that's devastating 💐I hope you get some good news soon. Where are you in this cycle?

I'm 7dpo now and this week has gone quite quickly. I always find the first week of the tww the easiest because we've done what we needed to do and any symptoms I feel probably have nothing to do with it. It's the second week that goes slowly for me! Not going to test unless AF is late.

Thank you so much @Tater05 it's been very hard. So I'm a bit confused this cycle, I got a positive OPK on CD10 and I thought I had ovulated yesterday on CD12 but now my OPKs have gone positive again today, so I'm wondering did my body try ovulate but fail or am I having some weird double ovulation? I joked to my husband that it could be twins haha. I will try BD tonight to cover all bases but that's where I am at.

I totally agree that the first part of the TWW is always a bit easier because you know you can't get a positive test yet. It's the second half where the temptation to test is there that kills me. Well done for waiting until AF is due, I am going to really try do the same this cycle! How long have you been trying?

@Tater05 thank you 🙂

No not yet - called for 2 hours yesterday only to be told I can’t be seen till next week…typical! Lol.

@Waitingformiracle Oh that is confusing! Do you track your temperature as well? That can help to confirm if the OPKs are wrong. But at least you're covering all bases!

This is our 6th cycle trying which I know isn't a huge amount of time but it's starting to feel like it is. We're thinking about getting some at home fertility tests maybe next month just to see if there's anything going on, or maybe it is just down to luck each month.

@KTB34 ahh that's so annoying! This whole trying for a baby thing really tests your patience doesn't it 😅

@Tater05 yes I take my temperature too so hopefully tomorrow will give me more insight.

No I totally get it, 6 months feels like a lifetime when TTC. Even one month feels like forever. My husband and I got some testing done after 6 months too even though we are under 35, but I was just getting so impatient. We did discover he had a bit of a low sperm count, and I needed some thyroid medication, so it was definitely worth it! We haven't sorted out the low sperm yet but I did manage to get pregnant once so I'm hoping I can again. I also have him on all the supplements 😅

They do say your chances increase each month just because of statistics so I really hope you get your BFP soon!

@VioIetMoon thank you so much 🙏

@Waitingformiracle you sound just like me 🤣 we didn’t want to wait for the NHS so found an amazing clinic to help us. So happy I had the appointment as the nurse was great and gave me such a detailed report with pictures, recommendations etc.

I am 35 soon and felt being a little older wanting to try for baby no.1 I wanted as much insight as possible. My husband is younger than me but men don’t have to worry about a ‘clock’!

Really rooting for everyone ❤️

Managed to get an appt with my GP today so will update later !

@KTB34 glad to find another impatient pal on here 🤣 the year just seems like such a long time to wait!! Congratulations on your pregnancy I hope all goes well with your GP keep us posted ❤️

I'm having some sort of weird long LH surge again after I'm pretty sure I ovulated. I joked to my husband that maybe I'm hyper ovulating and could end up with twins 😂😂 unlikely though given how we struggle to get just one egg fertilised!

Hey @Tater05 totally with you on the first half of the 2ww....you know it's too early to test so can pop it to the back of your mind and feel nice and hopeful knowing you got the timing right! It's the second half where I start to lose my mind 😂

Welcome @Waitingformiracle . Sorry to hear about your partner's low sperm count, but you're right that it happened once before and so no reason it can't work again. As terrible as a miscarriage is hopefully knowing he was able to fertilise an egg even with low count sets your mind at rest a little that his swimmers are working as they should. Though of course the disappointment to have finally got a BFP and then lose the baby must be so hard, I do really feel for you.

I'm expecting ovulation (if this month is an ovulating one) next week most likely. Feel at a bit of a loss this month - I'm waiting for further blood test results still, but I'm also feeling like this month is a bit pointless - I haven't had the hysterosalpingogram and can't see why this cycle will be any different, I've been on Metformin the last two and no baby! I think I've actually stopped expecting to fall pregnant without assistance entirely now and whilst I think I'm okay with that right now I'm also aware that my follicular phase is the only time of the month I'm not crazy 🤣

Congratulations on your pregnancy @KTB34 and hope the appointment goes well.

Welcome @Waitingformiracle to the club that no one wants to be part of! so sorry for your loss that must be so hard to go through. Weird on the lh surge, I ovulated a bit later than I thought I typically do this month when my lh surge lasted longer.

My AF is due tomorrow / Saturday and my temperature has started dropping so feeling pretty gutted. That’s cycle 11 for us with nothing. Im pretty resigned to it not happening naturally too but still find the monthly disappointment hard. we are getting an appointment this month with a clinic through my husbands insurance which offers some support - I feel so grateful that we have this. Need to work out what next steps are from this. I’m in two minds about whether to push for clomid as I ovulate each month and have very regular cycles so will it really make a difference?

Thank you all! Appointment went well, estimated to be about 5 weeks. Referral made to the antenatal team.

It’s crazy that you spend most of your 20’s trying not to get pregnant only to find it hard when you do! They don’t teach you this in school! The amount of friends I’ve spoken too who don’t know about ‘the fertile window’ etc!

@MocktailMe thanks for the warm welcome 😊 yes exactly I definitely need to see the positives in that we did manage to do it once so we have to be able to do it again surely? Who knows, part of me feels like it was a huge fluke and it's such a shame we lost our baby because it was such a fluke. But we will keep going, no other choice! Sorry to hear you are feeling that way, I totally get it! My expectations are pretty low this month, but in a way I feel like it's a relief to not be obsessively counting the days because I'm so sure it won't happen! Who knows though, fast forward to next week and I'll probably be POAS like a crazy person 🤣 have you been waiting long for all of your testing?

Thank you @ToomanyBFNs it's nice to have found a group to talk to! Yes the LH surges can vary so much each month it seems? I've kind of given up trying to interpret it all 🤣

I'm sorry to hear that about your temperature, I know they say you're not out until AF arrives but I also know the feeling when you're feeling like you are out. It's not nice. I don't know much about Clomid but I always thought it was just for those who are not ovulating at all. Has your husband had his side of things tested at all? I think we are always so quick to assume it's us but when you are ovulating and having regular cycles it's so frustrating when there is nothing obvious causing it!

@KTB34 that's great news congratulations!

Yes they really should teach this in school, it would go a long way in helping people understand how to (or how not to) get pregnant instead of constantly thinking sex will lead to pregnancy. Oh if only it were that easy!

@Waitingformiracle I already knew I had PCOS as this was diagnosed several years prior. Due to this I went to the GP at the end of last year to get initial blood testing and an ultrasound. In 9 months since first GP appointment all I've really achieved is a referral for the upcoming hysterosalpingogram and partners sperm test, although I did get prescribed metformin 2 months back too.

It's a very long process and I'm really glad I went to the doctor back in December. If I'd waited the full year to seek help I would only now be going to my GP, and would have this 9 months ahead of me still to go! Luckily, in 9 months time I should be either pregnant (if I'm very lucky) or taking clomid, or waiting to start IVF.

We plan to go private for IVF if our first free round fails, but we won't be eligible for NHS IVF if we have a privately funded cycle first so the waiting makes sense. We could possibly afford to do all the sperm tests etc privately but if we do we won't afford private IVF down the line so we would rather not risk spending too much at this stage, but the NHS wait times are really hard.

I'm only 31, so time is still on my side. If I was even a couple of years older I think I'd be going private.

Another sad feeling, that I rarely even indulge, is that I had always wanted 3 children. If I had fallen pregnant nice and quickly, within 6 months of trying, then that would have been a really achievable goal starting at 30. But now, I feel I will be really lucky to have one baby, and don't logistically see how there is time (or money!) to have more than one. I'll be very very lucky to have one baby by 33 I expect.

It's gut wrenching. We’re starting the TWW tomorrow and i’m going to ask my partner to hide our tests so I can’t be tempted to try one early and hold out hope. Xxx

@MocktailMe I'm sorry you have been through all that, I'm sure it's been very stressful! At least as you say you're now on the road to getting some answers and help. I hear you about the 3 kids. I've always wanted 3 but I'm 33 and i just don't think it will be possible now!

Well I'm out this month, AF has arrived on 10dpo which is a bit annoying as I thought I'd managed to lengthen my LP to 13 days with vitamins.

I've noticed for the last few months that shortly before my period arrives I have a very realistic dream that I get a positive on a pregnancy test, to the point that when I wake up it takes a few minutes to remember it wasn't real 😅does anyone else get these? I was very relaxed about it all until I had that dream and then AF turned up 🙄

Anyway, on to cycle 7!

Thanks @Waitingformiracle. Yes, partner had his sperm tested too and all came back ok. Originally this gave me massive hope but still nothing has happened month on month.

@Tater05 sorry to hear your AF arrived, mine also arrived today so on to the next cycle for the both of us. I also have a shorter luteal phase (it’s typically 11 days and has never budged despite taking extra vitamins) but the fertility consultants I’ve spoken to have never seemed too worried about it, they’ve always said it’s really only an issue if it’s much shorter than 10. Obviously I’ve not gotten pregnant though so I can’t guarantee it’s not having an impact for us.

@MocktailMe I totally hear you, I originally wanted two but now I’d feel lucky to just have one. I’m 33 and just feel the months passing by with nothing happening and the biological clock ticking away. Good that you’ve got the tests coming up with the NHS.

@ToomanyBFNs @Tater05 so sorry that both of your AFs arrived! It's so disheartening month on month, especially when your luteal phase doesn't want to play ball. Hopefully this month will bring some better news. I'm really not feeling optimistic this cycle at all, I'm feeling a bit exhausted from it all and just wondering if I need a bit of a break. But at the same time I'm 33 and time is not on my side!

@ToomanyBFNs looks like we're cycle buddies! Sorry that your AF also arrived though. I have heard that about shorter luteal phases too, I think it slightly lowers the chances each month so it would be normal for it to take longer with a short LP, but definitely not impossible. I know some people with short LP have no problem at all, it's all just down to luck. Were you on the mini pill by any chance? It seems to be a common thing for women who have been on it, wish they'd tell us that side effect when we decided to take it!

@Waitingformiracle yes when it's month after month disheartening is definitely the word! It does get exhausting and the stress doesn't help. I know what you mean, I feel like I'm going to need a break from it if we're still trying in a few months but I think I'd always wonder if that could have been the month. I'm going to try and mentally check out of it this cycle and try to live life as normal and just keep an eye on the fertile window without obsessing too much. Easier said than done I'm sure but overthinking it all is definitely not helping! At 33 you still have plenty of time, it's becoming more and more the norm to have a first baby at 35+ so try not to stress about time x