TTC for those taking longer than average ✨

[YaWeeFurryBastard]

I just wanted to start a thread for those who’ve been trying for a little while (or a long while) and it doesn’t seem to be happening. It’s great seeing all the positives on the TTC threads but I’m starting to find it a little disheartening as it seems to be happening quickly for almost everyone but me! Statistics seem to vary but suggest between 60-70% of couples get pregnant within three months. We’ll be heading into cycle 5 shortly TTC our first, both in our early 30s.

Is anyone else in a similar situation?

@whatdoyouthink123456 I’m with Mid Yorkshire Trust so not sure how similar the “rules” are to London. Saying that, a friend of mine lives 10 minutes down the road, had been ttc and they didn’t even run tests. It’s honestly crazy!

Yeah I just made an appointment with my GP and mentioned irregular cycles and ttc for (almost at that point) 2 years. GP arranged initial bloods and an ultrasound. Referred me to gynae who checked my bloods and scan then diagnosed PCOS. He sent me for further bloods which I’ve only just had done and requested the hycosy (apparently it’s a prerequisite for the medication), then prescription of letrozole once that’s been completed.
It’s definitely worth seeing what your GP says then you know where you stand.

Completely understand what you mean, the same thoughts cross my head regularly. Feel so guilty that it consumes me when I should I am so grateful for DD.

I don’t think we would go down the IVF route. I would, but my husband is on the fence. Maybe with a bit of persuasion 😂. Would you?

@Marie1990x

Is letrozol for PCOS?

I think I was put off asking for help as the morning after my ectopic surgery the consultant told me 'if you need IVF you'l need to pay for it'

Maybe il try get a GP appointment and see what they say.

I don't know about IVF....I did 2 rounds with my ex husband and it was awful and very unsuccessful. I was only 29 and the whole thing was soul destroying and ruined our marriage. I was lucky to fall quickly (2nd month trying) with my new partner the first time, so not sure why #2 has been so hard. Maybe my age is now the factor 🤷🏻‍♀️

Part of me wants to at least try everything so I won't have regrets. But on the other hand I'm worried to waste energy and loads of money on a dream, when it could be spent on the small family I have.

Did it take you long to conceive your DD?

@whatdoyouthink123456 I’m not sure if it’s just for PCOS, it’s basically an ovulation induction medication from what I know. I think I do actually ovulate, just can’t pinpoint exactly when it would be like with a regular cycle.

Omg that’s shocking for him to say that! I think everyone with secondary infertility knows that we can’t get funded IVF, don’t need it specifying condescendingly! My consultant did mention it, but nicely and said basically it’s my job to help you and he’ll do whatever he can.

Oh no, I completely understand you being apprehensive about it if you’ve tried it before and unfortunately didn’t work.

Definitely speak to your GP, even if they just run some bloods to see if there’s any obvious barriers.

I hadn’t been on contraception for about a year when I conceived DD but without tracking etc. The first cycle I used OPK’s to track I caught on with her. So I either didn’t have a clue when I was ovulating, or it’s just a huge coincidence.

where are you at with your cycle now?

@Marie1990x

Oh okay. Sounds good. Hopefully they prescribe you it after your Hycosy. Is it a pill? Or injection?

Il bring my GP and see what they say.

I'm nearly 38 and with only 1 tube, I don't know what the odds are of it happening. I wish someone would just tell me so I could have the right expectations.

My partner keeps being like 'you might be pregnant by that holiday' etc. but I'm just not feeling hopeful. It's gone on soo long, iv lost faith.

Iv just finished my period, CD5. What about you?

Have you tried different strategies of sex around ovulation? We try do every other day near peak and then every day once I get a positive. I never know if it's enough or too much

@whatdoyouthink123456 it’s a pill that I believe you take for a few days, similar to clomid.

this is it, if someone told us black and white then it would stop the “what if’s” and then you can just accept and move on.

I’m officially in my TWW. Either 1 or 2dpo (I had 2 days of peak OPK’s so not sure which to go off, both apps say different).

we’ve tried everything 😂. Tried dtd every day, every other day, peak and day after (that is what I conceived doing with DD) so I’m stumped what’s best. We dtd a couple days before first peak, the days of my 2 peaks and day after this time, so time will tell but I’m not getting my hopes up (although I’ve just ordered a bunch of cheapie tests 🤦🏻‍♀️)

@Marie1990x

That's interesting, I wonder how successful it is. Hopefully you'l find out soon.

I don't even know if I'm ovulating. Years ago they thought I had PCOS but my cycles have become more regular since then. I get positive OPKs each month so hopefully that's a good sign.

They said after my surgery that even with one tube, you still ovulate every month and your remaining tube catches the egg from the other ovary. But I don't know if that's every month 🤷🏻‍♀️

That's exciting. Do you feel positive this month? Do you tests a lot in the TWW? I struggle with feeling hopeful, symptom spotting and then disappointment.

Has your partner had any tests?

@whatdoyouthink123456 its all just an absolute mind boggle isn’t it.

That’s good that it’s still positive with just one tube! Think as long as you’re getting your positive OPK’s it’s always a good sign 😊.

I’m actually feeling pretty positive this month! I think it’s because we gave it a good go so won’t be kicking myself for missing days.
oh yeah I’m an absolute nightmare and serial early tester 😂.

He’s had his SA which came back normal

@whatdoyouthink123456 Sorry to jump in, my story is quite similar to yours. Sorry you’ve been through what you have. I also had an ectopic which ruptured in Sept 2024 and had my left tube removed. I’m coming up to 18 months TTC now.
I’d definitely recommend speaking with your GP, mine have been doing the standard bloods and i’ve just been referred to fertility specialist for hycosy etc. I know I won’t get IVF on the NHS (I have a DS who’s nearly 2), but they can do the initial investigations which I wish i’d pushed for sooner to be honest but they wouldn’t refer me until TTC 12 months and then I had my ectopic. I’m sure if over 35 you can get referred by GP after 6 months TTC. I’m also in London. I hope you get some help from GP. I’ve already told my partner that if we’re still not pregnant by June, i’ll be starting the IVF process privately, which I know is not easy, but I have to try. Wishing you all the luck in the world xx

@Marie1990x

Hopefully this month is your month 🤞🏻

I can't help but wonder, after a few years, if it hasn't happened, will it happen? Are there any statistics? I know they say if you are over 35 then 52% of people get pregnant within a year. But what about the others? Within 2 years? 3 years? Do they never get pregnant?

@SWeal

Sounds very similar. I had my surgery in May 2024. I think we'd been trying just over a year at that point.
I had my Hycosy in Sept 24 and been TTC since, nothing has happened.

I'm going to call my GP and see what they say.
I think they will say I need to lose weight, which I'm working on atm and why iv been delaying any appointments. I'm about 4kg off the weight I was when I conceived my son, which will put my BMI under 30.

Maybe they will do some tests and help set our expectations. I'm honestly not sure if it will ever happen. But my partner keeps saying 'you got pregnant last year so why can't you again!?'

I wonder if the ectopic was just a freak thing, or if it happened because of my age/ egg quality etc

Month 6 of rec my 3rd. BFN this month has been really really tough mentally.

@whatdoyouthink123456 It’s so frustrating that they can’t find out the cause of ectopics to be honest, mine got bad really, really quickly. It was so traumatising. My cousin had an ectopic and then went on to have privately funded IVF - they told her that you shouldn’t try for an ectopic until 6 months after and that most ectopics are caused by an infection possibly following surgery i.e c-section. I’ve had 2 c sections, so wonder if mine is due to that. There’s no way of finding that out though so just have to carry on. My partner says the same to be honest, he’s so positive about it and says he knows we’ll have more children but i’m definitely having more and more days where I just feel like it’s not going to happen. It’s such a shitty position to be in, I wouldn’t wish this on anyone xx

@whatdoyouthink123456 my consultant said similar to the statistics you mentioned and that after 2 years something like 80% will have conceived. I guess we’re in the 20% statistic! When I told him I just wanted to give up he basically gave my head a wobble and said not to, so we’re not out yet!

I wasn’t going to drink this tww but work has been crazy today so I’ve caved and got a wine tonight. Probably kick myself when I get my bfn next week.

@carolinep3 sorry you got a bfn today. What dpo are you?

@Daniki how are you getting on?

@SWeal sorry to hear about your struggles as well. The eptopics must be torturous. Hope you get your rainbow soon

x

I'm 10dpo. Every month gets harder and harder doesn't it.

@Marie1990x not too bad I know il be itching to test tomorrow which would be equivalent to 9dpo but il hold out to sat 🤣 if its negative I duno how Il cope tho 🙈

@Daniki omg how are you holding off 😂 I’d have been testing from 7dpo 😅. When did you get your positive last time?

@carolinep3 you’ve probably been told this before and it’s easier said than done, but try stay positive there’s still time. I didn’t test positive with DD until about 12dpo 🤞🏻

@Marie1990x Thank you 💕 I come on mumsnet most days and read through these threads to feel a little less alone xx

@SWeal it's soo tough. I'm feel like all I see everywhere is babies/ pregnancy announcements etc. it feels so unfair that so many have it easy. But I remind myself that some people have it worse.

Would you consider fertility treatments?

@Marie1990x your consultant sounds soo good. What did they say? I need that motivation.
I feel like I just got pushed to do ivf before. It felt like the push was straight to IVF.

That whole month just feels mechanical now. I feel like everything is based around ovulation. I have to initiate more sex when I'm not ovulating so it doesn't look like I have a one track mind 🤣

How many tests have you got in the house? Have you gone strip cheapy? Or FR/ CB?

I really hope this is your month, I need a good news story 🤞🏻

I don't blame you, a glass of wine won't make a difference.

Iv just been for Mexican and cocktails with some friends in London, on the way home now. Iv got a HIIT class at 6:30 😩

@whatdoyouthink123456 Yep! Literally every day of my life I feel like I see a new pregnancy announcement. 3 of my friends have fallen pregnant and HAD their babies the whole time i’ve been trying. I really struggle to pretend to be ok some days so just avoid contact with people on those days lol Yes, i’ve told my partner that if we’re not pregnant by June ish I will start the IVF process as my mental health can’t take much more! x

@whatdoyouthink123456 honestly he’s so good. I had a call like the day before from the referral and they were basically not saying much so I’d made my mind up I was giving up and thought that was it. The next day (I think) he called me and I said look I’m just going to give up the ghost and he just reassured me he’d do anything he can to help and keep going.

Haha it does get very robotic! My husband was glad fertile week was over this time and we now joke saying he can have a break to recover for a month 😂.

I’ve got a mix. A bunch of easy@home cheapies, 1 frer and 2 digital. I use the cheapies then if (hopefully when) I see even a faint line I’ll use one of the others. My husband would go nuts if he knew how much I’d spent on tests this last 2 years.

oh wow! HIIT at 6:30am! You are motivated! I’ve recently started it but definitely not at that time, I can barely make a coffee that early 😅

@SWeal it is definitely comforting to know you’re not alone and there’s strangers in the internet going through similar ♥️

@Marie1990x I got a very faint line the night of 4dpt (9dpo) but I'm scared if test tomorrow it's negative then I'm put myself in such a bad frame of mind! Altho knowing me I'll test in the morn 🤣 finally got our power back this evening after 2 weeks 🙌🏻🙌🏻

@Daniki completely understandable. Sending lots of positive thoughts to you! Did you cave and test?

Oh gosh have you have no power for 2 weeks? How have you coped 😅

@Marie1990x i didn't i made myself pee so I didn't have any 🤣 might test tonight 🤣