TTC after early miscarriage part 2

[RaisingCornishWildlings]

Hi guys, I've made a new thread! @ThelastRolo20 @bluebunny2 @Blueskies4 @miamiamia869 @Claudiasaz @mumsince2021 @Holly0609

[RaisingCornishWildlings]

@Lollipops23 @123456789ss @Ncl31

I keep scrolling back to see who else was in the original thread but I think I've got the main gang? Everyone else please tag who I've missed

[Claudiasaz]

Aw part 2.. let's hope part 2 is our lucky thread 🙏 @RaisingCornishWildlings

[miamiamia869]

Thanks for making xx

[Ncl31]

Fingers crossed part 2 brings us some luck.

[RaisingCornishWildlings]

I really hope that thread two and 2024 is our lucky year, team-mates!!

So 9DPO drawing to a close and I've been so good at not symptom spotting until now as I know it's all fruitless! But I'm growing impatient and googling "symptoms at 9DPO etc even though I know it's basically all BS at this stage!

I was lying in the bath this evening and my hips started to ache a bit... this I had with my MC pregnancy but I think also mildly as a PMS symptom in some of the more recent cycles.

I've read another thread with women saying the cycle they seemed to have a lack of symptoms was actually their lucky month (and until now I've basically had nothing!)... but I think I've got more saliva pooling in my mouth than normal- and I don't think I've noticed it before!

Gonna try my best to hold out til at least Saturday I think, would be day 12 and when Flo thinks AF is due.

By the way; thanks for your good wishes about my mum- she's broken her blooming hip! Should be having surgery in the morning 🤞🤞

[Ella31]

Wondering if I can join. I have had a loss. My twin sons died at 29 weeks after an emergency section in November. My beautiful first twin was stillborn and his lovely brother died in my arms 4 days later after we had had to remove supports as he was so sick. It's been a terrible few weeks and I'd love to be part of the support here trying for another bpf.

I'm 10dpo today. Three days ago I had light pink cm at 7dpo with cramps. Nothing since but test was negative.

Hope you ladies are all doing well and hello from me.

[Ella31]

Sorry just realised it said early mc in the title. I've had two early losses before my late loss in November.

[emmatcc1]

So I finally miscarried couple hours ago and I don’t know how I feel going forward. Before today I wanted to continue ttc straight after but now I’m not sure and I’m terrified of this happening again. It was so scary getting gushes of blood and huge clots and the pain was horrible. I still have some light cramps but nothing compared to before. I’m not scared of miscarrying again, it’s the process of passing it that scares me.

[miamiamia869]

Welcome @Ella31 I did see you on another thread such an awful thing to go through so sorry for your losses. This Is a lovely little group I'm really pleased I found it.

@RaisingCornishWildlings it's so hard not to isn't it. Yeah I agree with my pegnacy t I had zero symptoms before af just cramps. I'm 11dpo today have every pmt symptom under the sun and really thought it was gonna come in the night. The wait is just awful.

@Ncl31 yessss let thread 2 bring us all 2 lines and healthy babies xx

[ThelastRolo20]

Thanks for the thread @RaisingCornishWildlings - sorry to hear about your mum, hope she's okay and really hoping this is the month for you ❤️

@Ella31 I'm so sorry about your losses, of course you can join this thread, it's full of wonderful women who support each other

[bluebunny2]

Thanks for thread 2 @RaisingCornishWildlings .

welcome @Ella31 and @emmatcc1 sorry for your losses x

[ThelastRolo20]

@emmatcc1 miscarrying is a horrible process, there's no two ways about it ❤️

You don't have to make a decision about TTC straight away, you may feel ready in a couple of weeks, you may want a month or more off. Both are completely valid options. I'm off until April/ May mainly due to practical reasons!

[miamiamia869]

@emmatcc1 sorryi missed your post. Bless you it's such a awful thing to go through. Give your self time to heal and see how you feel in time. Take care of yourself and we are always here for a chat xx

[Ella31]

Thanks for the welcome and hope you are all doing ok. @emmatcc1 I know you are so afraid of passing another mc. It's so horrible, I remember my first one was so painful. I had no idea what was normal or not.

But don't let that put you off trying again. Its so out of our control when it comes to mc. The important thing is to to do it when you are ready. This is a loss and it does have an impact on us. I can only say that when I conceived my twins after my mc, as the weeks progressed , I felt confident and happy again. I did ultimately lose them very late but it had nothing to do with mc and was a rare identical twin condition so whilst I'm in awful grief at the moment, I know there will joy with another baby eventually.

So keep holding onto that. And talk talk talk. It's important to express how you are feeling.

[Claudiasaz]

Hi @Ella31 and @emmatcc1 I am so sorry for both of your losses. The more I am in this world the more truly devastating things I hear. This is a lovely little group to get anything off your chest as you are ttc. Nothing is out of bounds here 😂 and I find it easier to chat in here than to have these chats with my friends in "real life" so hopefully this does the same for you too! Xx

[Claudiasaz]

One thing id say is just don't put too much pressure on yourself whatever you decide. I read everywhere how fertile I'd be afterwards and I'm 5 months post mc and not pregnant. You may be luckier and some in here have been but also a lot of us haven't and that's normal! So don't pressure yourself like I have been as it's hard to turn off once you start x

[Ella31]

@Claudiasaz

Hi @Ella31 and @emmatcc1 I am so sorry for both of your losses. The more I am in this world the more truly devastating things I hear. This is a lovely little group to get anything off your chest as you are ttc. Nothing is out of bounds here 😂 and I find it easier to chat in here than to have these chats with my friends in "real life" so hopefully this does the same for you too! Xx

Hi @Claudiasaz I agree. I feel quite alone in the outside world at the moment. I've had a few comments from people saying "you need to move on" and I have in a big way - getting out a lot and not shying away from life, but these people need to realise as well that its only 12 weeks since I buried my two baby boys. I've a nursery in my house thats ready to go but right now is frozen in time.

So thanks so much for the love. I'm hoping to see a lot of bpf's here.

[Ella31]

@Claudiasaz

One thing id say is just don't put too much pressure on yourself whatever you decide. I read everywhere how fertile I'd be afterwards and I'm 5 months post mc and not pregnant. You may be luckier and some in here have been but also a lot of us haven't and that's normal! So don't pressure yourself like I have been as it's hard to turn off once you start x

Completely agree.

[Ella31]

Can I ask you ladies if you have had irregular cycles after loss or birth? My first period arrived January 4th after a 9 day luteal phase, so I was worried about the luteal phase. Now this month I'm 11dpo waiting for period, so the luteal phase has increased but of course I'm now worried something is wrong with my cycle. Bfn on pregnancy tests.

[ThelastRolo20]

@Ella31 please don't feel any rush to "move on", anyone who says that has absolutely no idea the depths that grief can go ❤️

I think it can take a while for cycles to settle, I'm two weeks post surgery so waiting to see what will happen with mine. As @Claudiasaz says I sometimes find it easier here to be honest as opposed to in real life, my main support network are all pregnant or actively trying to conceive and I'm finding that difficult

[Ella31]

@ThelastRolo20

@Ella31 please don't feel any rush to "move on", anyone who says that has absolutely no idea the depths that grief can go ❤️

I think it can take a while for cycles to settle, I'm two weeks post surgery so waiting to see what will happen with mine. As @Claudiasaz says I sometimes find it easier here to be honest as opposed to in real life, my main support network are all pregnant or actively trying to conceive and I'm finding that difficult

What surgery did you have @ThelastRolo20 , I hope you are recovering well.

I'm the same. It's all new mothers and mothers telling me relax it will happen. Sadly they don't seem to get it has happened for them. But look I'm not going to make this all depressive earlier. My motto this year is "its not "if" it happens, its simply "when,"

[Claudiasaz]

@Ella31 That's so so hard. You are still grieving. I'm still struggling and it's nothing compared to what you've been through.

I've had irregular cycles definitely it's my biggest annoyance of it 😂 I had short cycles at first. Then longer but spotting. Getting a bit more normal now. We have just said yesterday how a lot of us experience more cramps than before mc between O and period. I think it really alters your hormones and make up. I'm waiting on blood results at the moment to check my hormones. X

[ThelastRolo20]

@Ella31 I think I had MVA under general. I didn't get very far in that pregnancy (well I was 10 weeks, baby never really made it to 6) so doesn't feel as traumatic as my first where I found out at the 12 week scan baby never made it to 10 weeks.

I also like to think it's when rather than if. We've been fortunate to get pregnant within 1/2 months for each 3 of my pregnancies (I have a 2 year old daughter). April/ May just feels so far away at the moment which is a struggle also

[Ella31]

@ThelastRolo20

@Ella31 I think I had MVA under general. I didn't get very far in that pregnancy (well I was 10 weeks, baby never really made it to 6) so doesn't feel as traumatic as my first where I found out at the 12 week scan baby never made it to 10 weeks.

I also like to think it's when rather than if. We've been fortunate to get pregnant within 1/2 months for each 3 of my pregnancies (I have a 2 year old daughter). April/ May just feels so far away at the moment which is a struggle also

I'm so sorry. That's awful. I think you are very strong, but I agree it's the waiting that feels like it will never come.

[Ella31]

@Claudiasaz

@Ella31 That's so so hard. You are still grieving. I'm still struggling and it's nothing compared to what you've been through.

I've had irregular cycles definitely it's my biggest annoyance of it 😂 I had short cycles at first. Then longer but spotting. Getting a bit more normal now. We have just said yesterday how a lot of us experience more cramps than before mc between O and period. I think it really alters your hormones and make up. I'm waiting on blood results at the moment to check my hormones. X

Oh no, a loss is still a loss. I think I'm just so shocked as we were 6 weeks away from a planned section. I really thought this was it. But we have to keep going.

Definitely, I've been watching mu cycle like a hawk since it. I would actually forgo bring pregnant this month if it would just regulate.