1dpo - Anyone want to join during the two week wait?

[Ella31]

Hi all, currently 1dpo. Hoping for a lucky month. I lost my twin boys a few months ago at 29 weeks due to TTTS. Two days before this I had a beautiful scan and two perfect babies - only 6 weeks away from c-section. And two days after my scan - our world fell apart. I had no movement and all of a sudden, I was told one of my babies had no heartbeat and then four days later, we had to remove life support from his twin brother as he was so ill. My sons were beautiful, visually perfect babies who were so unlucky. I miss them terribly.

So Here I am 1dpo and hoping for the best. Would love the support from any other hopeful ladies and in turn I'll support ye too. Much luck to us all 😀

@CadoAvo I was only thinking of you this month. Any luck?

I've cramps again unfortunately. Pretty sure Af will arrive soon.

@Ella31 I'm sorry to hear that, remember you're not out until it actually arrives.

Well it's been a rollercoaster over here. Got my BFP on 8th March however currently going through a miscarriage I'm pretty sure. Around 7 weeks but have been bleeding and cramping since Tuesday and given what I've passed today, I have no hope. Have to wait until Monday for my next scan at EPU but pretty sure I know what's going to be said. Had a scan there last Friday, they could see the sac but nothing else. Sigh. It is what it is I guess.

@CadoAvo I'm so terribly sorry..my first loss was identical to yours and it's so hard to comprehend..Are you ok? Stupid question I know but I.was such a mess after that, I should have given myself time to recover. I'm so sorry for you.

@Ella31 eh, I feel strangely...numb. That's probably the best word for it. I was crying on and off when the bleeding started. However since the large clot passed earlier today I have yet to shed a tear. I'm sure it will hit me at some point or another. Maybe on Monday at the scan.
I've been off work on annual leave this week, a blessing and a curse. I'm going to have to text my boss tomorrow as I'm due back on Monday but need time off for the scan but also pretty sure I'll want to take more time off once it's been confirmed. I guess it all just depends on what they say on Monday, I hope it's all passed and that I won't need any medical intervention.
I'm already thinking about TTC again, some might think I'm crazy. Obviously I'll wait until I've spoken to the medics but think it's just this longing to have a baby. I'm probably burying my head in the sand and it will all hit me at some point. But right now I feel strangely okay. Sorry if I'm rambling 🫠 if you have any advice then throw it at me 😅

I'll absolutely give you any advice you need. My first mc was nearly 2 years ago at 8 weeks. My cycle took 8 weeks to come back so it was probably 3 months by the time we tried again. My second miscarriage also took 8 weeks to return but we went straight away and I got pregnant instantly with my late twins. So I've always tried again as soon as I could but as you said, check with your gp.

You need to do whatever is best for you physically and emotionally. If you are ready, go for it , if not, that's ok. Your body will dictate everything.

Now for the emotional side, I was a mess. I really didn't expect to get pregnant so fast and didn't think I'd miscarry. I found the care from the hospital horrific and I was so angry afterwards. I didn't take the time to process the loss.

You will come through this and talk to your partner, family ect. You may not have told anyone yet but don't feel like you have to hide or tell them if that's your preference. Most of all, be good to yourself, your body knows exactly what to do and you will conceive again. And most importantly embrace the grief, it's a loss and it's heartbreaking. Ignore the people who say it's happens all the time. Yes it happens but that was your baby. People will say stupid stuff by mistake, don't take it to heart.

Reach out anytime.

@Ella31 thank you so much, this was really nice to read ❤️ we had actually just told close family at the weekend so it's a bit rubbish that not even a week later this has happened and now we need to un-tell them. It's like I'll feel bad for them...when I should be feeling bad for me lol. I also keep going back and forth about telling people who didn't know yet, like should I bother them with the news when they don't know anything anyway. I've not made any decisions yet though, just taking it a day at a time I guess.

Sorry to everyone else for jumping on your thread, please resume your normal chat and wishing you speedy BFPs 💞

@CadoAvo I'm so sorry what you are going through. Like @Ella31 says, be kind to yourself ❤️

@Ella31 I got the results back at everything looks good and I am ovulating which is fantastic. Have bloods done again on CD 5 to check testosterone and FSH.

How are you? I feel completely normal so think I'm out. 13DPO and did a test on day 11 which was a BFN. As I know i am ovulating I guess it's just waiting for a lucky month 🥴

I’m sorry you got cramps, do you usually get them in your lower back?
How are you feeling this morning?

Please don’t ever apologize. This is a safe space to talk and so many of us are unfortunately in the same position. I miscarried at 7 weeks on Christmas Day last year. It was horrific, I’d just told my parents on Christmas Eve so they could help mask the no drinking etc….
please reach out if you need someone to talk to.

Every month since the twins. I can't remember what I was like before then. Cramps haven't been awful. Just twinges

8dpo and bfn😪 I know it's early but I tested positive with my twins this early. Amazing how crushed I feel about this

That's fantastic about your ovulation. It would be a different story if you weren't.

I'm ok, 8dpo and bfn today. I was so upset yesterday. I'm trying to figure out why this isn't happening for us? I've done everything the same as before when I got pregnant with my twins. If I'm out this month I'm going onto cycle 5 since my boys. Finding it hard to accept at the moment. Not sure what else to do. Is it just luck if it sticks 🤔

You are part of this thread, many here have suffered losses so you are in good company.

The telling people is up to you and your partner, I found it important to me as I needed to express how I felt but you both may feel different and that's ok too.

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. Hopefully AF stays away

Probably going into cycle 5 now @Ncl31 I know I'm being silly because it's probably not long in the grand scheme of things.

@BabyBorn @Ncl31 @Ella31 thank you so much lovelies 💞💞💞

I don't know if it's just a fluke, but since going gluten free. My periods have become regular. I too have PCOS I did go on metformin for about a year which regulated them and I did fall Pregnant but miscarried 5 times. I stopped taking the metformin and my periods were all over the place again, right up until jul last year when I completely eliminated wheat and gluten out of my diet and they've been bang on ever since.

Oh @CadoAvo I'm so sorry. I don't know what else I can say that hasn't already been said, but please don't apologise. Your feelings are completely valid and you've been with us here before so you most definitely are a part of the thread! If you'd like to come back then we're more than happy to have you, if not then that's absolutely fine too. Please be easy on yourself x

I'm sorry for your loss also @Ncl31. What happened is absolutely devastating and as unfortunate as the timing was, I hope your parents knowing gave you a little bit extra support. Nobody should have to go through things like this alone x

Whilst I'm so sad that a lot of women on this thread have experienced losses, I'm so glad that you have found each other and are able to provide support and comfort to one another. I acknowledge that I've been lucky that I haven't had to go through the awful experiences others have, so a lot of time when loss is mentioned, I tend not to say anything as I don't want to accidentally word anything wrong or in a way that could be misconstrued, but please know that I do see you, you have my support and I'm sending lots of love your way.

Your rainbows are coming ladies, they just take time but in the end they're so beautiful and so so worth the wait 🌈✨💖

@2BabyOrNot2Baby thank you, that's so kind and I really appreciate your words.

I've woken up today feeling awful and emotional after feeling "okay" the last couple of days. Apart from this thread, I've not really found a lot of support and feel like my partner is slightly lacking in it too. I just need Monday to get here so we can be told officially and start to move on.

Hope you're all having a lovely weekend ❤️

Do you mean both of you not getting support @CadoAvo or you needing more support from partner. Sorry now just making sure I'm reading it right.

I found people including my husband who I love dearly didn't get it when I miscarried early the first time. It was like because we didn't have a scan or gender ect, that it wasn't the big loss I was feeling. It's a huge issue I have with early losses and I've unfortunately as you know done the rounds on losses. Very early and late but there's a lack of awareness on the emotional impact of early loss and I'm saying this a mam who has lost babies stillborn and after birth. I was broken after the early loss. It was drawn out like you said and physically as well as emotional painful.

The waiting is shocking. I don't understand why it's ok to leave women sitting over a weekend waiting to either pass a mc or confirm it. I'm so sorry you are going through this but I fully understand.

I'm based in Ireland, not sure if you are in uk but is it Tommy's that help with loss in the UK? Have you been onto them yet?

I'm on this group too. It's a trying again after loss group. You might find it helpful. Not just for trying again but for a bit of hope. Quite a few have found joy again and they get it.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/conception/5003016-ttc-after-early-miscarriage-part-2?page=33&reply=134329917

@2BabyOrNot2Babybeautifully put.

@Ncl31 I'm so sorry about your loss on Christmas day. I've every hope you'll be well on your way to a little one this Christmas.

@CadoAvo
I completely agree with @Ella31. It's absolutely disgusting leaving somebody for days. Not the same, but I had unexplained bleeds for the first half of my pregnancy, majority happening before movements started (so couldn't even reassure myself with that) and almost every single time they just gave me appointments for 'a couple days time', so to an extent, I think I kind of understand how you're feeling.
Maybe speak to your partner and let them know how you're feeling and that whilst this is a big thing for the pair of you, it's monumental for you. I know from my own experiences, my husband just did not seem to know how to properly support me (generally just so, so laid back) and to me, it felt like he didn't really care. Truth is, he was scared and hurting too but just didn't want to either worry me anymore than I already was, or, in his words, 'make it about him', so the best thing seemed to be to carry on as normal. We eventually had the conversation and he started to show full support of me. It's okay to hurt, be angry, scared, any way you're feeling. But feel it together. Try your best to relax and be kind to yourself this weekend. Sending lots of love and we'll be right here ready to support you come Monday if you wish x

@Ella31 thank you for the link, I've put the thread on watch and I've had a look at the Tommys website but still feel a bit in limbo until we have had it confirmed.
As in I feel like my partner isn't quite there in giving me the support I need. I'm actually finding her quite selfish at the moment and that's not something I ever really consider her to be. She's been complaining of a sore neck recently and on Thursday night she asked me for a neck massage. Hours after I'd passed the pregnancy, which she seen. I gave it to her as otherwise I wouldn't hear the end of her sore neck. Then last night she asked me for another and I said no and she called me mean. Then today she was going to the supermarket, firstly she tried to get me to come with her, I said no, then she attempted to bribe me with "I'll buy you chocolate" like I'm a child. I refused. Then when she was making a list she asked what yoghurts I wanted and before I could even answer she said "and not the milkybar ones" (my fave haha) because "we should try to be healthy" which we are trying to eat better in general but dammit just buy me some nice treats to eat.
I really do love her but I've recently struggled with emotional support she provides, or lack thereof. And we spoke about this before the miscarriage. I do think maybe she is struggling in her own way with the loss, she is more of a "get up and go" person but also she's not the one physically going through it - which I don't blame her for not having the experience but I guess I thought being married to a woman meant they were a bit more emotionally in tune 😅

@2BabyOrNot2Baby yeah I know I need to talk to her. I've got so many thoughts in my head all the time but can never seem to say things out loud. This is always something I've struggled with, I've been a lone wolf/independent woman my whole life which stems from my lack of emotional support received in childhood (wow this is getting deep).

My partner is off on annual leave this week coming up, I was supposed to be back at work on Monday but will be taking the week off sick but I'm not sure I can cope with being holed up in the house but I don't really want to particularly go anywhere or have anywhere else to go. I'd love to check into a hotel for a couple of nights 😂

@Ella31 how are you doing? I’ve purposely not tested today. My DH and I are going out to walk alpacas today, it was my birthday gift from him this year. So I want us to have a great day.
Any new symptoms from you? Or still cramping?

10dpo and bfn @Ncl31 but my temp rose all the same. I'm surely out though. AF is technically due today. Cramps haven't been bad but I'd have expected s faint line at this point.

That sounds great. Have a lovely day.