CD1 ttc after loss carry on thread #2

[Ladyinpink1]

♥️

@ThelastRolo20 I feel you on the patience thing 😂 so hard in a world where you can just go out and get things as and when you like to be patient TTC! Oh and DH 🤦‍♀️ It's like they're blind to everything going on sometimes. Also I like your blood supply theory. I feel like I need to get exercising again to help AF work properly and not stop-starting - and release body muscle tension too. Feel like I'm always clenched 😂 don't think you're being sensitive about your SIL btw x

@Wise0wl thank you ♥️ came into January with so much positivity and had two coming into three weeks of back to back sickness but and worst cold/flu/fake Covid ever so that hasn't helped either

@GeorgeR28 fingers crossed for a sticky bean! I feel like seeing these tests is manifestation for us all 🧘‍♀️ so sorry about your false positive before.
Those ups and downs when you're mid-mc and shortly after are horrendous

@Ladyinpink1 hahaha! That's my very short lived DJ career over then. So sorry you had symptoms then BFN, the body likes to trick us - rant away. How you feeling now? Good on you holding out, so hard to manage that time. I didn't order one in the end - I'm thinking of having a break actively TTC for a bit for similar reasons. Give it a week and I might change my mind 😂 weird AF stop/start things going on this month making me worried about MVA repercussions too 🫠

@HerbaceousPerennial thank you ♥️ I had a similar situation with a friend being pregnant with their second (first dc same age) same time as me. It's so bloody hard! Tried to still be friendly but add some distance and she just got super offended and now we don't speak at all. I think time is a good healer of these things though and if a friendship is meant to be, it will go the distance

@Bugdem123 great news about the counsellor -
mine after my first loss transformed my life in ways I couldn't have imagined. Then a month after starting therapy I finally conceived and had a healthy pregnancy. Hope yours goes well x

@CluelessInLondon this is amaaaaaazing news!!!
I had my fingers crossed for you that holiday would bring chilled conditions for ttc.

@ThelastRolo20 Hope you’re doing okay ❤️ Perhaps just see how you feel in the coming weeks about when you want to start again, you can always change your mind if you feel ready and even change it again after that if you need to!

@Ladyinpink1 sorry to hear it was a bfn, especially with all of your symptoms being so similar to previous pregnancies it’s hard not to get your hopes up! What dpo are you? You never know it could be a bfp tomorrow still 🤞

@CluelessInLondon ah good to know thank you! We tried SMEP a couple of cycles ago, might try it again if we still have no success in the next few months 😊

The hormone crash is brutal 😫
I really wish someone had warned me about it.
I was almost calling the GP asking to be medicated!!
Hope you're doing a bit better today

Thank you everyone, I am 11dpo, I was going to wait longer, but only tested because of all of these "symptoms", I was convinced, feel silly now of course, but dh and I were chatting and he said I used to get sore breasts etc before my period ages ago, so I checked, and I did used to get this but actually haven't had it since before the loss in August, so I am taking it as a good sign that my hormones are getting back to normal, it's just crazy how long it all takes, and then i'm going onto cycle 6 now which is the longest time without concieving, which sounds like not that long but altogether it's been a year and a half now... anyway sorry this is so long and taking up so much room thank you so much for all letting me rant and being kind. I feel OK today, just ready for af to hurry up. Hope everyone else is good?

Has it sunk in yet today @CluelessInLondon ? I think it really shows how when you are relaxed, that's when things can happen. x

@samilicious I was thinking the same, trying the relaxed approach but at the same time, not sure if I could do it as I feel like time is running out and I am grtting old lol. Has it been a really different period for you? What cd are you on? x

@Ladyinpink1 as you say hopefully this is a good sign that hormones are settling ❤️ it's so hard when things take longer than we hope. Fingers crossed your hormones resetting will get you your positive in the next few months x

Woohoo @CluelessInLondon that’s such wonderful news 🥳 massive congratulations.

@Ladyinpink1 I’m so sorry, it’s such a crushing disappointment to get a BFN when you’ve got symptoms. I don’t know if it’s the right thing to do but when this happened to me a couple of weeks ago I just really wallowed in it for a couple of days. It did help for me. And I do think it was a hormone reset. Rant away, that’s what we’re here for ❤️

@ThelastRolo20 the hormone crash is horrendous. Not quite the same but I ended up having to wait a couple of months after my MMC as I had extended bleeding, I found the waiting very hard too. You have my sympathy. Oh and my DH is also annoyingly relaxed about when I’ll get pregnant again, drives me potty. I hope you feel better soon.

@samilicious thank you. You’re right, a good friendship will make it through. I am determined not to let this come between us!

AF has basically stopped for me now so I’ve no idea what that means. Much shorter than normal but then it’s not been as long as normal since my last one so 🤷🏻‍♀️ putting it down to a hormone reset. My current answer for everything! Feeling positive though which is the main thing. Hope everyone has a good weekend

Hope you're all doing okay today!

@samilicious it's good to hear it's been helpful for you and a few others. I've been feeling a bit more alone in my grief recently as obviously life moves on and people have their own things going on so I think it'll do me good to speak to someone.

@Ladyinpink1 please feel free to rant as often as you need to! It's what this thread is for. I can so relate to what you're saying about it being "only" 6 months but actually 18 in total. We started trying the very very end of April last year so we're not that far away from the year mark and i am definitely struggling with the thought that we have nothing to show for it. It's really tough and I don't think people quite get how devastating it is every month to get your period and realise the life you're wanting for yourself is still out of reach. Sorry, I'm just ranting now 😅

Does anyone have thoughts on my chart? I can't tell if I've ovulated or not, my temps are obviously higher than they have been but they are really low in comparison to what I would normally have. Trying to summon up the energy for one more go today just in case it hasn't happened yet 🤣

@samilicious @HerbaceousPerennial Thank you for the congratulations, I really appreciate it. ❤️ @Ladyinpink1 I don't think it really has sunk in yet, no! I think it's really difficult to think much ahead when the only experience I have of pregnancy is loss - if I had already had a successful pregnancy then that would be my reference point, but as it is it's hard to know how to feel. Still feeling quite calm at the moment but it's such early days - I suspect it will be harder to stay calm once I get towards the point of having scans and stuff.

@Ladyinpink1 11DPO is still fairly early, so you never know - you might not be out yet. T is so frustrating when you think you're recognising some symptoms though, so totally understandable that you were disappointed. Fingers crossed that BFP is right around the corner for you.

@Bugdem123 You said something in your post that I was thinking about a lot after really really upset around Christmas and New Year - periods arriving is so much more loaded with meaning after a miscarriage, it's not just a confirmation that another cycle has gone by but also a reminder of the loss as it's something that's only happening because of a pregnancy not progressing, so it's kind of a double whammy.

@CluelessInLondon little bit late to the party but HUGE congratulations! As some-one else said, it goes to show that sometimes when we don't think about it then it really can happen 🥰

What's your due date? I'm tentatively waiting on my lines getting darker on an Easy@Home test I took yesterday which had a vvvfl.....hopefully we'll be in the same due date group!

Hoping for lots more sticky babies this cycle for you all ❤️

Af has arrived bang on schedule. Absolutely devastated, both my due dates that never were are coming up this cycle and it feels harder still not being pregnant again, and being no closer to being a mum 😞

I’ve got my fingers crossed for you @GoldDustWoman90!

I am so, so sorry about AF, @moosey89. It’s like others were saying earlier, it’s not just AF arriving it’s so much more. I hope you have support, and can take some time this week to give yourself some tlc x

Ah @moosey89 I’m so sorry. It’s shit. Sending all the hugs, and do whatever you need to do to get through xxx

@moosey89 I'm also sorry, I can't make it better but I can empathise with how you're feeling, you aren't alone ❤️

As I know I'm pausing until April, I know with certainty that I won't be pregnant by the time my first due date comes around (28th April), I may even well be on my period. I'm going to try and mentally prepare myself for that as much as possible x

@CluelessInLondon this is amazing news! So happy for you :) must be a feeling of relief to be back on the pregnancy journey again and to know you can conceive quickly.

@moosey89 so sorry that AF has arrived. My birthday is around the corner and due date a couple of months after and I'm also feeling really stressed out about getting to those 'milestones' and not being where I want to be. My therapist suggested doing something to mark the dates or doing something I enjoy, but I'm not sure how I'm going to handle it.

I'm coming towards the end of 2WW and due my period on my birthday funnily enough! Feeling a bit strange as if I do get BFP this month then the due date will be my sisters wedding day. I'm not sure how I feel about my chances this month though. Regardless, I'll be able to get my bloods done once the next cycle starts and I hope I can get some answers.

@13lucy thank you - my 35th birthday is between my 2 due dates this month. It's devastating. I never ever imagined I'd not have kids by this age - how naive was I!! I've got a fitness competition I'm signed up for first weekend of March so just going to utterly throw myself into that this month. Still trying but not tracking this month I think. I don't want to not try because it feels like wasted time x

@ThelastRolo20 @Wise0wl @HerbaceousPerennial thank you - it means a lot to have a safe space to share feelings that no one in my home life understands xx

@moosey89 I'm 35 this year also (June) and I was hoping to have had my second by then. Another milestone to pass if I'm not pregnant by then (which is likely given my April restart).

I've picked up running again as a distraction. What's your event? X

@moosey89 I'm so sorry. It's so unbelievably shit. I'm 35 this year too and like you really didn't anticipate not having a child by then. Do whatever it is you need to do to get through this week and your due dates and be extra kind to yourself. Don't be shy of telling us how you're feeling too.

@CluelessInLondon that's exactly it! I've had a few moments recently where I've had that exact thought while I'm doing something - I wouldn't be doing this if I was still pregnant. I'm trying to make plans and arrange fun things to do as I'm accepting life really does have to go on but I'm so ready for the next stage of our life that it all feels a little bit hollow.

@moosey89 sending you a great big hug. 💕

@ThelastRolo20 yeah I thought 35 wasn't an unrealistic expectation to have a child, life likes to test you doesn't it!

The event is HYROX, it's 1km running, followed by a workout station, 8 times (so 8 different workout stations). I've done one before but I've signed up to the harder category this time!

And I've booked a trail run for the start of July to keep me going too. I find running hard but satisfying if that makes sense! Will you sign up for any events?

@GoldDustWoman90 Thank you! NHS due date calculator reckons 4th October for me, but the apps I'm using think maybe the 2nd due to earlier ovulation this month. But definitely the first few days of October. Have you tested again since your previous tests? Any change?

@13lucy Thank you lovely - it is definitely reassuring to know that I've been able to get pregnant again, although there's still the fear of it going wrong. The next 8 weeks or so just feel like they're going to go on forever and I'm sure at some point the anxiety is going to kick in, so it's quite hard to feel as though it's real at the moment. Really hope the end of the TWW brings some good news for you too!

@moosey89 So sorry to hear that AF arrived, it's such a blow when you get your hopes up each month. I hope you can find something to help you manage with the upcoming due dates too, and you have the chance to take time to reflect if you need it. Your fitness event sounds hardcore, I definitely couldn't do that!

@CluelessInLondon this mornings test - it's a Boots Early response and these were taken 48 hours apart....top one was Saturday morning with an absolute squinter.

The sceptic in me just think they should be darker!

@GoldDustWoman90 Well the line is definitely there on today's test! How many DPO are you?

See I thought it was a sure fire thing as I tracked BBT and OPK's.....but as it was my first cycle post miscarriage I'm now reading that these could both be a bit all over the place!

In theory those tests were taken on what I think is 12dpo and 14dpo. Hence why I think they should be darker 🧐

@GoldDustWoman90 these look absolutely fine to me :) it's clearly darker and you could have implanted 10/11/12 DPO which would make the line a perfect strength.

Congratulations!

@GoldDustWoman90 It could just be late implantation - today's test is definitely a positive, which is amazing news! I bet if you test again in another couple of days you'll see a stronger line.