CD1 ttc after loss carry on thread #2

[Ladyinpink1]

♥️

@ThelastRolo20 it's really inspiring to see you taking control and making a decision that's best for you, your family and your wellbeing just now. I hope you have a lovely holiday when it comes 🩷

@Oxalis00 that's really great news although I completely understand your caution/hesitancy to believe it. I really struggled in my first pregnancy with anxiety and am currently having a bit of a battle with it. I've never really had any sort of health anxiety before but pregnancy, the MC and TTC after the MC has brought up quite a bit of health anxiety for me.
What helps me is exercise - I've been doing yoga using the down dog app for 20/30 mins in the morning and I use the shavasana at the end to do some mantras. I am not normally a mantra person but I found the combo of the yoga and the mantras together can really help. When I was pregnant mine were "today I'm pregnant and that's enough", "my baby is healthy and growing until I am told otherwise", "if something happens, I am strong and resilient enough to cope". I've attached a post I saw the other day on here of other ones that I think I'll use if/when I fall pregnant again.
My husband noticed I was spending a lot of time googling things, reading old threads on here and freaking myself out so he got me a Nintendo switch for Christmas. I'm not a gamer by any means but having something light to do with my hands that occupies my brain is also helping distract me from the worst of the thoughts.
I also remind myself that my thoughts aren't facts, no matter how much I might think they are and that I cannot see the future. That's a bit of a ramble but hope it helps a little.

@ThelastRolo20 that sounds really wise and I hope the break and a lovely holiday do you lots of good. Sending you big hugs and hopefully your little rainbow will be on its way later in the year 💕

@Oxalis00 already responded on another thread but very happy to hear your news and also very much sympathise with where your head is at. Have messaged you privately. ❤️

Thank you @Bugdem123 that’s so kind of you to share all of that. I’m so pleased for you that you’ve been able to find things that help, and it gives me hope that maybe I can change too, not just suffer this anxiety endlessly... And how sweet of your husband to notice and nudge you away from those negative spirals (with which I completely relate!). I’ll give yoga and affirmations a try. I do feel the MMC was traumatising in terms of trusting my body, and I can see that yoga/movement would be a really positive way to reinhabit your own skin. Good for you making these changes. And to those getting running/to the gym etc. Your bodies deserve care and attention.

I won’t post much about the pregnancy but I’ll stick around to cheer everyone on. You’re all amazing - just for keeping going. Here’s to us ✨

@ThelastRolo20 just wanted to thank you for your posts to date, I’ve found them very helpful. I hope that your time away gives you the space you need and sending you all the very best. Hope your holiday is wonderful when it comes and here’s to a fresh start and your beautiful baby when the time comes.

@Oxalis00 that’s really good news! But totally understandable to feel anxious. I have felt really angry at my body over the years and the lack of trust in it is something I really relate to - mine just follows its own path and between the PCOS, a very non standard birth and my MMC I am somewhat resigned to it. Things which have helped: appreciating what it does do for me, trying not to endlessly google things, and getting outdoors to do some sort of physical activity, usually walking or especially gardening, which is something I love. Harder at this time of year but for me it does really help. Right now your baby is safe and well and that’s wonderful. Take good care of yourself.

You are so wise @ThelastRolo20 - wishing you a peaceful few months and a lovely holiday, and look forward to hearing from you when you’re back.

I’m so glad for you @Oxalis00!

I had my GP appt earlier today who has agreed to full blood tests, has agreed to explore if anything abnormal was spotted in any ultrasound of my womb, and suggested at the first positive test I take progesterone for a future pregnancy. I’ll have my blood tests in two weeks, so hopefully come Feb I’ll have some more answers between those, and the genetic testing we paid for. It’s reassuring to feel like I’m ’doing something’ and she (again) said that we stand a good chance of having a healthy pregnancy (but I heard that with our most recent loss, so we’ll see). Hope you’re all doing ok x

Thank you everyone 😊 I'll be keeping an eye on all your journeys whilst on my break. Sounds like progress is happening for lots of people (whether it be pregnancy or tests for extra support) which I'm thrilled about! X

Ladies - I've been down a Google rabbit hole (who can resist!). I know it's bad news but humour me....

So at the scan on Wednesday they saw an embryo with a 2.5mm measurement. Googling has shown massive variation in what should be seen at 5/6/7 weeks. A few say you can only see an embryo from 6 weeks, starting at 1mm placing me around 6+2 days, not 5+2 days (but sources vary as I say). I actually ovulated a couple days late in November due to the miscarriage, so when I went I'd have likely been 6.5 days. I'm clutching at straws I know and I'm content with the inevitable bad outcome so tell me I'm being ridiculous. But if you'd like to hop on my train of ridiculous thinking come on board! 😂

I am still an oasis of calm

@ThelastRolo20 was it a private scan you had? I don't think that's clutching at straws, surely that's a measurement in the bracket it should be? And you might have just been too early to see a heartbeat?! I will happily ride that train with you 😂 a bit of positive thinking never hurt anyone!!

Also I realise I didn't update on here (thought I had but must have been another thread!) AF eventually arrived 3 days late, so I assume I ovulated later and hence missed the window entirely - excellent 😂 I've got some ovulation tests for this cycle and hoping I don't go mad using them!

@Vic231 yes a private scan. If they're right and 2.5mm embryo is 5+2 weeks then it's bad news as that's too far out...so it's a very slim chance

@ThelastRolo20 oh sorry I think I read your message wrong. I think all you can do is hope for the best whilst preparing for the worst. ❤️

Thanks @Vic231 in a way I wish I'd never gone and just waited until 9 or so weeks. There are too many what ifs at this stage.

I know what the outcome will be if I'm completely logical about it though. Going to be booking my spa day soon to have something to look forward to x

Just catching up on all the comments ladies, i'm sorry for everyone who has their period arrive, it has arrived for me too so cd1 for me today!
I was thinking about how long this feels it is taking, going onto another new cycle and wasting time, I thought of something that made me feel a bit better, this time right now could be part of our pregnancy... what I mean by that is, you know the way they date the pregnancy from cd1, so when you get a bfp you are normally about 4 weeks? So it made me feel better thinking instead of another few weeks waiting that this time right now is the little egg maturing and getting ready and could be the first few weeks of a pregnancy... I have no idea if that makes sense to anyone else because I'm not good at explaining things but thought I would type it anyway 😂 x

I'm so so sorry to read your news @ThelastRolo20 being told that for a second time is just awful, was just reading your most recent post, i'm not familiar with early measurements but I hope you get clarity at your appointment on Tuesday? Sending a huge tight hug xxxx

@Ladyinpink1 I LOVE that! That's why I also like these threads as there is always a different way of thinking about things. Thank you for sharing xx

@Ladyinpink1 sorry I don't think I've been very clear :) I've only had one scan, I was just reflecting on what they told me (which is inconclusive and need a rescan) which is happening Tuesday

Dont worry, you were clear hun @ThelastRolo20 , just my reply probably wasn't, i'm sorry you are dealing with all of this, and I hope the time between now and Tuesday goes in fast for you. A spa day soon sounds lovely. Thinking of you and sending love ❤️ xxx

@Ladyinpink1 I think that's a lovely way of thinking about it - hoping that all of us in the first half of our cycles are busy nurturing healthy sticky little eggs!

How are we all doing?

I'm 6DPO today. Not got any strong feelings either way as to whether this is the cycle for us or not. The last couple of days I've tried to have a bit more of a "it'll happen, it's just a matter of time" type of approach but I'm sure I'll go back to "it has to happen RIGHT NOW" in a couple of days 😅. I'm not sure when I'll test - I tested positive at 9DPO the last time but I might try and wait until at least 12DPO. I've never really been successful at waiting though!

Hey @Bugdem123 well done on trying to keep up the positivity, I'm so glad when I'm able to do that! I'm just entering fertile week so fingers crossed for lots of DTD! It's the first month I've used clear blue ovulation sticks too as I think last month we wildly missed the window as my period was late (and never is!) so I think ovulated later. I've also started seed cycling this cycle thanks to @Ladyinpink1 and I'm actually really enjoying it on my fruit and fibre regardless 😂

I'm also just about to hit my fertile week - CD12 today and I've warned my husband that he's in for a busy week. 😂Decided that if it doesn't happen this month I'm going to have a cycle off tracking - I'm going to run out of CB ovulation tests this week so that feels like a sign that I should take a break before I buy more!

@Bugdem123 I think it's usually better to be a bit ambivalent about whether you feel like it's going to happen or not - I'm trying to get back to that state of mind as that's what I was like before I got pregnant, but then the MC made it all feel much more pressurised and I just don't think that can be good for me. I'm trying to go into this week feeling positive but not expecting too much.

@Vic231 so annoying when you miss the window! Mine came early last month - not sure what our bodies are up to! Are you just having the seeds in your cereal? I might give that a go next cycle! Good luck DTD!

@CluelessInLondon I think my husband was relieved when I said I'd finally ovulated so he could have a rest 😂. I didn't use any OPKs this month, just relied on my apple watch tracking my temp and DTD more. I think overall I've found it better, definitely less stressful in the main so I think I'll probably continue doing this next cycle. This is probably the first time I've felt a bit more "it'll happen when it happens" and it's definitely better than feeling so pressured. Fingers crossed we keep feeling like this!

@Bugdem123 I’ve gone the opposite way and am obsessing a bit today! Sore boobs and strange smells meant I convinced myself I might be pregnant and tested this morning - negative, not a surprise but I’ve been moping and snappy nonetheless. So now wondering if it might be one of my very infrequent periods coming up instead. Or none of the above!

@CluelessInLondon I was so relaxed before I got pregnant both times too - at least partly because I thought I’d need help and was mentally prepared for that so I think there’s definitely something in it. DH keeps saying unhelpful but true things about this and how it’ll happen when it’ll happen. I know he’s right but it’s infuriating!

@Bugdem123 it really is! The last two cycles we've also both had illnesses over the fertile week so I'm hopefully for a healthy week if nothing else! Yes I just add them to cereal and make sure I chew thoroughly 😂 turns out I really like the taste linseed, not sure how sesame seeds will be on cereal for the second phase in a few days 😂

Hi @Bugdem123 I'm good, cd4 today, hoping this next week flies in as I find the first half of the cycle quite goes a bit slow at times. You don't have long to wait then! It's so hard not to test early especially if you have had a previous early bfp x

@Vic231 That's good you like them, hopefully they help things along and you get good news very soon... either way we will be nice and healthy. I prefer the second half seeds over the first half. I think it might be the linseed I'm not overly keen on lol. x