CD1 ttc after loss carry on thread #2

[Ladyinpink1]

♥️

@CluelessInLondon no AF as yet, I haven't tested again since yesterday morning with a FRER that was negative. Now 2 days late. I tried to eat some cooked chicken at lunch and it made me gag which is weird (but probably just a huge coincidence 😂) I'd like AF to turn up how if it's going to!

@CluelessInLondon I always press post too soon! Happy New Year to you also! I hope you are feeling a bit more upbeat today, but I completely understand those feelings too x

@CluelessInLondon thank you - another BBT drop today and some spotting so that's me out this month. I've got so much anxiety around light periods since my MVA so I'm hoping this one is more normal, although I should know not to get my hopes up by now! I've got a call with GP next week so should be armed with enough information by then to get some answers. I'm so worried about scarring from surgery and whether that could be affecting my periods.

Sorry you've not been feeling great recently, I can totally empathise with this especially with xmas and new year going on. I wanted so bad to be pregnant going into the new year and with all the symptoms I had I was feeling positive about it, but I feel so flat now. Not helped by the fact that my birthday is next month and another reminder that I'm a year older and not where I want to be. I guess we just have to keep going and try to stay positive, but it's easier said than done!

Hey everyone, happy new year. I took a few days off looking on here, AF came bang on time and I was devastated. Spoke to my gynaecologist today and going for a scan next Thursday and talks of potentially progesterone and maybe clomid depending on how the scan looks.
i was doing better these past few days but this phonecall has set me back, i know it wasn’t negative but this was supposed to be the week i bring my baby home, & now we’re talking about medicated cycles because it’s been 7 months since my loss. I can’t believe I’m in this position and I hate it 😪

I’m so sorry @GeorgeR28, I haven’t yet got to my due date week but I can imagine how hard it is. It sounds like your gynaecologist is on the case which is positive, even if it’s not the path to conceiving that you envisioned. I hope you’re ok ♥️

@Wise0wl thankyou ❤️ it just gets so overwhelming thinking all these months wasted hope and as every month progresses I feel like we are regressing. I can just picture doing months on fertility treatments for them to not work either and km so scared all the time that I’ll never get to have a baby 😪
I hope you’re okay too, Thankyou so much for checking in ❤️

@GeorgeR28 my (very wise) DH said we have to ttc with hope, not in fear, which is hard to do but I keep repeating it to myself over and over! Sending lots of love, it’s so easy to let our anxiety and fears run away a bit.

I’m feeling reasonably positive, thank you. I’ve got a phone appt with my GP later this week so am prepping for that to make the case for at least some blood tests 🤞

@GeorgeR28 Sorry to hear that AF arrived again and you are finding things tough - completely understandable, especially with your original due date coming around too. Once the emotion of that has subsided a bit you can start to look at the positives of hopefully getting some extra help, but right now it's okay to just feel the way that you do. Sending you a big hug. ❤

Hi all - unfortunately not good news my end. Went for an early scan but measuring 2 weeks behind with no heartbeat. Have an appointment on Tuesday at the hospital.

It's my daughter's second birthday today so going to make sure I'm still very present for her. Can't believe it's happened twice

@ThelastRolo20 oh I'm so so sorry you're going through this again 😔 - there's no words. Sending you the biggest hugs xx

@ThelastRolo20 I'm so sorry to hear this, it just feels so unfair that this can happen twice. There's not much I can say other than sending you lots of love and you know there's lots of support here for you as and when you need it. ❤

@ThelastRolo20 I'm so so sorry ❤️ how heartbreaking and unfair. I'm sending you so much love and strength x

@ThelastRolo20 I'm so sorry to hear this. Sending you lots of love

@ThelastRolo20 I’m so sorry. It’s so cruel that it’s happened twice. Sending you lots of love ❤️

@ThelastRolo20 so sorry to hear this, it's just so unfair. We are all here for you x

Oh @ThelastRolo20 I’m so sorry. What a shock, and at the same time that awful de ja vu of here we go again… it’s just completely and totally shit. I hope the hospital staff are kind. Happy birthday to your precious girl - I bet you’ll hold her extra tight today x

I am so, so sorry @ThelastRolo20, a second loss felt to me to be especially unfair and traumatic. Sending you lots of love, and wishing your daughter a very happy birthday ♥️

Oh @ThelastRolo20 I’m so sorry to hear this. Sending you all the best. I hope your little girl has a wonderful day - 2 is a brilliant age

@ThelastRolo20 I'm so very sorry to hear this 😔 sending you the most massive hug. I hope that you are able to get some joy from your darling little girls birthday. Lots of love to you xxx

@ThelastRolo20 I'm so sorry for your loss. So hard having to put on a brave face for little ones but hope yours is a good distraction for you at least. Sending hugs and hope this next bit is as straightforward as possible for you. Life is so unfair, having to go through this again :( x

@GeorgeR28 I’m sorry you’re having a rough time at the moment. The feeling of wasted time is horrible. Some days I just give in to it and have a good mope and fully indulge the crap feelings. Personally I find in the long run it helps to do that sometimes rather than constantly fighting to be positive when you just don’t feel that way.

@Wise0wl I’m going to heed your DH’s wise words I think! I think sometimes about how much joy and love I felt both times I conceived and try to hold on to that

Thank you everyone for the kind messages.

I've decided to pause trying to get pregnant until after my holiday in April, realistically I wouldn't be able to try until Feb anyway and it means I can enjoy it more for the sake of a 2 month break. Also means more of a mental break for me.

If I get pregnant again I'm going to try and take daily aspirin, I've heard good things about doing so - I can't think of any other risk factors I have but I'm very grateful for my daughter (maybe not so grateful for needing to navigate her birthday party this weekend - hardly in the party mood!)

Anyway, long story short I'm going to be going quiet for a while. These miscarriages don't define me, they are not who I am, they are just happening to me. I'll be a year behind where I wanted but then I had COVID screw up my wedding 3 times so I'm an old hat at being patient!

Wishing you all the very best, I'll pop in occasionally and will be back with a vengeance in April/ May. Love to you all x

@ThelastRolo20 Your comment about miscarriages not defining you is so powerful and something I think we all need to hold in mind at the lowest times. Take care of yourself and I hope you are rejuvenated and ready for that rainbow after April. ❤

@ThelastRolo20 I think that’s a wonderful demonstration of you knowing yourself and prioritising your needs and trusting the process and playing the long game. Very wise, and good for you! I’m excited for you to find that headspace and have a lovely holiday. Enjoy x

I had a scan at EPU today - after getting bleeding on the day of my positive test, 2.5 weeks ago, and being given progesterone. I was so nervous, and convinced it was ectopic, or blighted ovum, or all kinds of wrong. Scan showed 6w5d embryo - which is as I’d expect from ovulation tracking, though a little behind last period dates - and a heartbeat. I can’t/don’t really believe it… I very much have my MMC last year in mind, which was found at 12 week scan with baby measuring 9 something, so I still feel very nervous that there’s lots of uncertainty ahead. We all know only too well how long a pregnancy is, and how much can go wrong.

What’s most clear to me though is that I have to work on my mental health - there will always be something to worry about, and I need to find ways to keep living as positively as I can day to day. Tips welcome!