CD1 ttc after loss carry on thread #2

[Ladyinpink1]

♥️

Thanks @Ladyinpink1.

@Wise0wl a friend of mine has a four year gap (not by choice) and she said being able to explain more about the baby was great. Her two now have a lovely bond and do play together really well.

@samilicious that’s really tough. I think if people haven’t been through miscarriage they can be very thoughtless and when it’s a friend it’s so much more hurtful. I think I’ve gone a bit far the other way - one of my friends is pregnant and has been very tactful but I’ve been almost over invested in hearing about her pregnancy. It’s a sort of bitter pleasure to ask her and hear how it should be

So sorry for your bfn @Vic231

Our best friends are on their way over to celebrate NYE with us and other friends and have just announced they’re pregnant, and we would have been due within the same month with our second loss. I can’t tell them to turn around and not come but I desperately don’t want them to come and feel completely heartbroken. I am pleased for them but already share a due date with someone close to us for our first loss, and this has tipped me over the edge a bit! Might crack open the wine for one last hurrah before ttc starts from tomorrow…

wishing all you wonderful ladies a happy new year, and here’s to lots of bfps and sticky beans in 2024 xx

@Wise0wl that sounds so tough I'm really sorry. I know it's probably too late to change plans, I hope you manage to enjoy the night as much as possible and wishing you lots of TTC luck in 2024 xx

@Wise0wl oh no that's so tough I'm so sorry. Do they know what's been going on with you this year? Sending the biggest hugs xx

@Wise0wl sending a big hug - that's really tough.

To everyone, here is to brighter days in 2024. Sending you all love and light. You are all amazing and it's been a shit year for lots of us but here we all are, still going, still hoping and still supporting one another.

❤️ Happy New Year ❤️

Thank you @ThelastRolo20 @moosey89 & @SnookyPook - they know that we lost a baby earlier this year and we told them tonight about our recent loss. I sort of thought I was ok, in myself - it’s the external things that make me fall apart? Eg age gap with my DC, other people in my life having pregnancies, similar due dates and soon babies as real living examples of what we lost. I’m several drinks in so no idea if that makes sense, but am so grateful for the support and company of you all on this otherwise very lonely journey xx

@Wise0wl I hope tonight has been better than expected and your friends have been understanding. Your message is lovely and makes perfect sense.

Thanks to everyone on this thread for your wise words and support. Happy new year to us all and here’s to 2024 and hopefully all our beautiful babies. A toast to us all.

Happy New Year ladies, thank you for all of your support. I really hope that 2024 is a better year for us all, filled with love and happiness, and that it brings us all our much longed-for babies ❤️🌈

Oh @Wise0wl that's really tough, I hope it wasn't too bad overall and there were some enjoyable moments too xx

Bit of a weird one here for me. AF due yesterday and usually arrives like clockwork. Been using cheapies so upgraded to a FRER today and a BFN. I don't even feel like it's on its way 🤦🏻‍♀️ I'd just like it to come now to start a fresh cycle! Very unlikely for me, but has anyone else ever tested positive a few days after their period was due? And had negatives up until then?

Lovely message and I completely agree! ♥️

Thank you all ♥️ I think it was a harsh reminder that the Christmas bubble was a bit of a safety net and my MH in the real world isn’t brilliant. Glad it’s over!

@Vic231 have you done anything (/taken anything) different this cycle/do you know when you ovulated/do your cycles vary in length usually? If yes to any of those it could be possible to get a bfp in a few days, though I’m not an expert! Fingers crossed and keep us posted xx

@Wise0wl thank you, not done or taken anything different, been on the same supplements for 4 months now. My cycles are very regular at 23 days (today is 25 days, which I did have a 25 day cycle in May but that was a rarity!).

I don't know when I ovulated as I don't test (just had some delivered to try this cycle though 😂) I just go by 2 apps which each had the same ovulation day and period start date.. In that case I guess I could have ovulated later! That's probably the only thing that would be a different thing this cycle... just got to wait and see i guess!

@Wise0wl and I definatley agree with you about a safety bubble, I said to my husband that I only ever truly feel myself with him as he's the only one to have experienced and felt what I have xx

Well AF has arrived bang on time, along with a cold so I'm feeling suitably meh to start the new year! Signed up to a running event in July to give me something else to aim for so the year doesn't end up feeling wasted like last year did.

I'm being an absolute cow today. Pretty sure I'm about to ovulate (not doing OPKs but I'm in the mood and have fertile CM) and my husband says he's too tired so I'm stomping about like a child and I know it's not sexy, and I know it's just making it less likely we'll do it but I'm so angry at him. I'm sick of being the only one who has to pay attention to their body and what it's doing; he has one job and he cba. Pretty sure we'll miss the best day this cycle now; we did it yesterday and were planning on tomorrow but something is telling me today is the day. Such a waste.

I get what both of you are saying - @Vic231 that DH is the only other person going through what we’ve been through, but @Bugdem123 that the onus feels like it falls on us, both to conceive (as you say, with symptoms) and also with loss (and the physical symptoms).

@moosey89 Really sorry about af. I’m not a runner but admire your focus! This year I want to spend more time outside and love myself a bit more.

Thanks @Wise0wl - I'm a super slow runner, I like trail running because it's scenic, plenty of walking bits up hills etc to break it up, take photos etc. the running just means I can go a bit further and get to see more! Spending more time outside and loving yourself sounds like a great plan - I'm going to try to be kinder to myself. I've had 5 years where I've not been without some form of loss (family, pets, miscarriages, jobs, divorce), on top of that my mum has awful undiagnosed mental health issues that have taken a huge toll on me and my siblings and I wonder why I struggle emotionally! Time to take a breath and appreciate all I've been through.

I'm go grateful for my partner - I found this little photo book he made me in 2022 for my birthday, showing all the good things, achievements, happy times etc from the year. I love looking at that to remind me it's not all bad x

@moosey89 that sounds so hard, and what an amazing present! I’ve found that my miscarriages have really knocked my resilience so am going to think about how to bolster that.

I saw a recommendation to take a picture every week of something you’re proud of so when it gets to the end of 2024 you have a record of your achievements, which also felt like a lovely idea!

Happy New year all! I hope 2024 bring us all happiness and good health! Hope you're all doing ok.

Frustrating start to the year as my temp dropped this morning in line with my usual luteal phase length. Resting heart rate and HRV have also dropped which means AF must be imminent but it hasn't started yet. It usually starts the same day as my temp drop but doesn't feel like it's coming.

Also really confusing as I really felt like I had pregnancy symptoms the past few days which I haven't experienced since the miscarriage. No idea what's going on!

@Wise0wl @moosey89 I've found journaling has helped me appreciate smaller things each day. You can get some good journals on Amazon e.g. 6 minute journal. I used to be a super keen runner but had to stop it all as I lost my periods for a few months before falling pregnant! I don't think it was just down to running though but I had very low body fat and generally going through a very stressful time so must have been a combination of things. It's a great stress reliever and I miss it so much!

@Bugdem123 I know the feeling. I can be a right grump as times and feel myself resenting my other half as my life has changed so much and yet his is pretty much the same. It can be overwhelming being so aware of what's happening with your body and taking everything and I definitely put pressure on myself with it.

@Wise0wl made total sense ♥️ as much as I feel crap when external stuff hits I'm also grateful for it because it gives me chance to grieve a bit more, otherwise think I'd just carry on with stuff eating me up inside that I obviously still feel grief-wise about losses. That weekly picture is a great idea!

@Bugdem123 I feel this! So frustrating. Hope he sees your frustration and is a bit more active in future

@moosey89 that's a great idea about the running! I'm so bad with exercise stuff, never been sporty or a gym person, but want to do a bit more exercise for my MH this year

Anyone else got any big plans for this year? We moved house and had such a busy 2023, hoping this year will be more chill but got a few big gigs I'm either going to be drunk or pregnant at 😅

I'm 9dpo today, and feel very unpregnant.. for the first time ever I hope AF will arrive when it's due next week as dc and I are really feeling bad with a stomach flu that started last night and lots of vomiting, diarrhea, aches etc so I think that would make me super anxious if this was the month worrying about any damage done by the virus. x

That sounds really frustrating @Vic231 I have never experienced that myself but I have read comments on here of ladies getting later bfp. I hope you get clarity one way or another very soon... the not knowing is the worst isn't it. x

@Wise0wl I'm sorry about last night, that sounded tough. I hope today is a little better x

I'm sorry af has arrived with a cold too 🤧 @moosey89 and I'm sorry you have had so much pressure on you and things to deal with, I think you deserve some good news in 2024 x

Sorry it's not been a great day it's so frustrating when you have it all planned out with the best days etc when ttc and things dont go to plan @Bugdem123 I hope things changed and you and dh got to dtd, but if not, the fact that you did it yesterday and plan to tomorrow is still putting you in with a good chance x

I'm going to sleep shortly, I haven't replied to all the posts as I'm feeling awful again, need to put my phone down... but I have read them and hoping tomorrow is a better day for us all. 2024 is defintely our year! 🥰 xx

Oh no! Feel better soon @Ladyinpink1 💕

@Wise0wl I know what you mean about the bubble; I'm dreading going back to real life. It's hard to not think about it when it's your own body - even without properly tracking I still know what to look for now so it's impossible to avoid it.

@moosey89 it sounds like you've been through so much over the past few years. I really hope this is a better year for you. That's such a lovely gift from your partner 🥺. I'm a terrible runner but I'm starting back at a cross fit type class I used to go to before I was pregnant so going to try and keep up with that.

@13lucy I definitely got too far into my own head today. I knew I was being ridiculous but I couldn't seem to stop it. I don't think my husband quite gets the desperation I'm feeling to get pregnant again. I'm sorry your temp is down, it's so frustrating when you can see it dropping and know AF is on its way.

@samilicious thank you, we had a chat and then DTD so it's all worked out. I probably need to have think about how to manage my emotions a bit better.

@Ladyinpink1 we managed to DTD! I hope you're feeling better soon, that sounds rubbish.

Happy New Year ladies - lots of new posts on here so trying to catch up! I decided to have a mostly offline weekend over New Year - was struggling quite a bit and feeling very down, which was perhaps inevitable coming to end of such a difficult year and not feeling like there's much to look forward to for 2024 yet. Hope everyone is doing okay.

@Ladyinpink1 Sorry to hear you are poorly, that sounds rubbish and I really hope it clears up and you are feeling better soon.

Hugs to those who have had AF arrive in the last couple of days or think she's on her way soon, hope the periods aren't too bad and you're feeling positive about the next cycle. @13lucy @moosey89

@moosey89 Good idea to sign up to something to give you some focus - and a physical challenge is a good one to keep you fit and in good shape too. I'm definitely not a runner but just trying to get back into my normal gym routine now - I never really got back into it properly after my MC with having a couple of bad colds during the autumn and then things being busy in the lead up to Christmas so I'm determined to get myself properly back to all of my exercise classes from this week!

@Vic231 Any sign of AF for you? Have you tested again or are you just waiting?

@Wise0wl I hope you were still able to enjoy your NYE with your friends and that they were understanding and supportive. It's really hard to see people having the experiences you should have been having so completely understandable that you weren't looking forward to it.