CD1 ttc after loss carry on thread #2

[Ladyinpink1]

♥️

Hello everyone

Welcome @UnderstatedElegance I’m so sorry for your loss.

And also sorry AF arrived @samilicious. I also worry about the age difference with my toddler, but keep trying to remind myself I have a big sibling age gap with the sibling I’m closest too!

@Bugdem123 I know what you mean and worry about getting to February and not being pregnant by my original due date and pregnancies seem to be being announced left, right and centre (including the house next door and the house behind us)… it feels a bit overwhelming. I’m so sorry about the insensitive comments.

I was torn between not trying this month now my bleeding has stopped after the MVA a couple of weeks ago, and waiting to speak to my GP/see what the tests on the fetus come back with before trying again. I’ve reached a sort of halfway house where we are going to dtd (and I’ll probably obsess over CM) but I won’t track ovulation this cycle. I just feel like I’m running out of time and need to use the opportunity of every cycle.

Hi all.....hope you don't mind me joining.

Yesterday I started miscarrying at 5 weeks exactly. We had been trying to conceive for 18 months and found out we were pregnant just before Christmas Eve. We're both absolutely heartbroken but all I feel right now is I want to try again.

It's a crappy club to be in but hopefully joy finds us all again soon.

@GoldDustWoman90 I'm so sorry to hear about your MC, such a difficult time of year to have one too - I hope you're getting all the support you need ❤️

@UnderstatedElegance welcome and I’m so sorry for your loss. That must have been awful.

@Wise0wl I know what you mean about feeling like you’re running out of time and the age gap. Every month that passes I look at my son and think about how old he’ll be if I got pregnant immediately. It doesn’t help that I have two friends at the same point I would be and people keep saying what a ‘perfect’ age gap they’ll have. I know its just a pleasant throwaway comment but it gives me a slight panic whenever I think of it.

@CluelessInLondon sorry you’re out this month. What’s seed cycling, if you don’t mind me asking?

That is so tough @GoldDustWoman90 especially after waiting for so long, I am so sorry for your loss and I really hope this new year brings good news for you x

@GoldDustWoman90 Welcome and I'm sorry for your loss, especially after such a long time trying. I hope 2024 will be your year. ❤

@HerbaceousPerennial I think it was @Ladyinpink1 who was trying the seed cycling...but it is hard to keep up as there's so much going on on this thread!

I’m so sorry about your loss @GoldDustWoman90 it’s especially hard this time of year ♥️

how old is your DC @HerbaceousPerennial ? Mine is 3, and I panic whenever I see relatives or friends with multiple children playing nicely together that makes me feel I’ve ‘missed’ the ‘right’ age gap. It’s nuts I know. Mine keeps asking me for a baby like X’s mummy or Y’s mummy because pregnant women seem to be everywhere! It’s hard.

@HerbaceousPerennial Yes it was me that started seed cycling this cycle and I heard about it from someone else on our last thread but I can't remember who, and never found out lol.
It's 1 spoonful of pumpkin and 1 spoonful of flax seeds until ovulation and then after ovulation it's 1 spoonful of sesame seeds and 1 spoonful of sunflower seeds.

Basically it's meant to balance hormones, and promote the right sort of hormones for each part of the cycle, there is alot of dispute over it's scientic accuracy etc but I have read good experiences about it, and I also read that because of the natural oils in the seeds, it will make for healthier eggs and a healthier body to support a baby at the very least. x

Whoops sorry @CluelessInLondon! Thanks @Ladyinpink1, that’s really interesting - I need to get a better idea on when I’m ovulating then but I could just do pumpkin and flax in the meantime and hopefully it might hurry ovulation along. You’re probably right about the hormone point but like you say seeds are very good for you regardless so worth a shot definitely. I will add some to the shopping.

@Wise0wl my wee boy is 2 and I always assumed I’d have roughly a 2 and half year gap, which is about what I would have had without my miscarriage. My friend is pregnant and her little girl keeps pointing at everyone and saying ‘baby tummy’. It’s hard - I do the same as you so you’re not alone. I have friends with gaps between 12 months and 7 years which helps as I can see different age gaps working well. I try to remind myself it’s just different benefits but it still feels like I’m just treading water whilst everyone else gets ahead

@Ladyinpink1 I'll have a look into the seed cycling. I wonder if I can make it into a flapjack 😂
I've got some matcha powder I keep meaning to use, I'll up my game in the new year.

@HerbaceousPerennial i thought I’d end up with a 3 year age gap, but am now worried about 4 (whilst knowing I’ll be so lucky for a 4 year age gap or even a bigger one).

what’s the benefit of matcha powder?! I’m willing to try anything at this rate. How are you eating the seeds @Ladyinpink1 ? Are you putting them in/on foods?

I'm 8dpo today, no symptoms. I am going to wait for af to be due (normally it arrives 14 dpo) because I have been torturing myself with the early testing in previous cycles. I remember a few on the thread were due to test/due af around this time? How is everyone doing? x

@HerbaceousPerennial I got the flax seeds from Tesco and the other 3 small bags out of M & S baking section (just over £1 per bag) so it wasn't expensive x

@UnderstatedElegance flapjacks sound nice! Yes I took maca capsules for 1/2 a cycle with my ds on my successful cycle. I might look into it again and how it's taken if this cycle isn't a success x

@Wise0wl I put it in yogurt, I have been having the actimel granola ones and it's nice in that. I also had it on toast with humous (not as nice lol) it's also meant to help pms which I normally get really bad so I will update if it helps with that x

@CluelessInLondon hope France is lovely! Deffo worth making the most of things you can't do pregnant.

@Bugdem123 ugh people suck so much sometimes. When my DD was a week old and met family, they were all harassing by brother about 'when will it be you' even though they knew he'd had 3 losses (not supposed to know but I know my mum would have told them). And they had losses and lots of heartache themselves TTC!

@Wise0wl I'm the same as you with age gap. DD is 3 in April. I put loads of pressure on myself to conceive and be due before the end of the school year because of the age gap but fully giving up on that now. More time goes by, more attention she gets and more money I can save between previous mat leave and working part time since
@HerbaceousPerennial my friends are starting to have 'perfect age gap' children now too. One of them I don't speak to any more because she got really offended when I said I was struggling to hear about her detailed pregnancy symptoms 8 weeks after my TFMR 😟

@Ladyinpink1 do you grind them up or eat them whole? I've heard there's a big difference but not sure how. Maybe an absorption thing?

@Ladyinpink1 tested today and BFN so that's me out and waiting for af to arrive. Will be having lots of drinks tonight! So sick and tired of this whole experience and horribly jealous of those who can get pregnant and keep their babies 😭

@Wise0wl it's supposed to protect egg quality. I just need to remember to take it!

@moosey89 so sorry it's a negative. How many DPO are you? It's so hard TTC and I can totally understand feeling jealous, I had/ have the same feelings. Hope you have some fun NYE plans to distract you x

Oh @moosey89 it's so horrible seeing that blinding white space where a little squirrel line at least should be :( lots of hugs to you ♥️

@Ladyinpink1 @moosey89 BFN for me this morning too and AF due today 😔 I'm also struggling at the moment but trying to keep calm and positive for the next cycle xx

@ThelastRolo20 13dpo and af due tomorrow which is why I tested today (ahead of drinking tonight).

Thanks @samilicious - I try not to test most months and just let AF arrive but we're having people over tonight and I wanted to drink so tested.

@Vic231 I'm so sorry, it sucks doesn't it. Something that feels like it should be so simple to happen just doesn't! I've not been on birth control with my current partner for 2 years now, officially TTC for 6 months before the one I lost, and 5 months since. I'm 35 in February which I know isn't old but I have never wanted kids past 40 and so time is ticking. I'll be lucky to have one now. (My TTC journey goes back to 2016 with my ex).

@moosey89 it is so tough and you're (we're!) allowed to feel sad about it. I wouldn't count yourself out entirely yet, I read something the other day that said your body has no idea if this is the first month or the fiftieth month of TTC, this helped me a little bit. Enjoy some fizz tonight and then gather up all the positivity for the next cycle. Sending you a huge hug, I've seen you on (obviously this one!) but other threads too and you are always so supportive and upbeat for everyone else, give yourself a bit of that love too xxx

Thank you @Vic231 - you're absolutely right, the body and brain don't match up do they! I play a lot of board games and have seen so many times that the probability you should get of e.g. rolling a 6 never actually seems to happen as it should. My only resolution for 2024 is to try to be kinder to myself. Let's hope 2024 is a better year for all of us x

@moosey89 exactly! I like that analogy! Some people in life roll one six after the other and win the game so easily, others (like us) have to keep going back to the start and waiting for that six and hoping we get to win! It's all a game of chance. The body doesn't know, I guess that's the curse of being a human - our brains are very powerful! X

@Vic231 thanks for sharing that, that's such a different way for me to look at it.

@moosey89 so sorry about the negative test, it's such a disappointment every time you see it. That's a good resolution though, I'm not normally one for a resolution but I think I might try that too.

@samilicious ugh, you'd think they would have known better. I know that no one would have meant to hurt my feelings but it's just such a shitty reminder.

I wish you all, all the best for 2024; here's to all the babies we've lost and all the ones who've yet to come. Fingers crossed this time next year we're all sat with tiny little babies 🥂🩷

Yes I read this too @samilicious but I dont bother grinding them, I just make sure to chew them well. Lol. Your x-friend sounds like not a great friend, I know people just dont understand but that is just common kindness to think of you and your feelings x

Oh no, I'm so sorry to read about the bfn @moosey89 it's so depressing everytime you get a bfn isn't it, and I think it gets harder each time. I am similar to you in that we came off birth control May 2022 then started actively trying in Sep 2022, it feels like forever, and I am 35. x

I'm really sorry about bfn @Vic231 really it just is so tough and can leave you feeling bad the rest of the day, I hope you have sone nice plans or can chill with dh at home and have a nice drink. That is really nice what you said about your body doesn't know which time it is, I have never thought of it that way before x

Thank you @Ladyinpink1 would just like AF to hurry up now if it's coming! I did read on another thread that a lady didn't get her BFP until AF was two days late but I think that's a bit too much wishful thinking on my part 😂

I'm glad what I mentioned has also helped you @moosey89 @Bugdem123 ♥️

I was just put in the car and saw two rainbows 🌈 and at one point the number plate of the car in-front ended HCG 😂 I'm taking these as a sign!