CD1 ttc after loss carry on thread #2

[Ladyinpink1]

♥️

@Wise0wl well done for getting through all the Christmas celebrations - it can be such a difficult time of year. @GeorgeR28 I'm glad you're feeling more positive, time ranges to get pregnant can really vary

I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas day and is tucking into left overs today!

@samilicious i have PCOS and super irregular cycles. I have done some mediated cycles on letrozole where I ovulate predictably between days 14-18 (feels like magic to me!). When I’m on a normal cycle I always use the purple as I want as much advance warning of ovulation as possible. On a medicated cycle I have sometimes used the pink (especially as the clinic has other ways of monitoring my ovulation. Overall I defo prefer the purple but as a direct yes/no, can’t beat the CB for taking the guessing away and peering at line thickness!

@graceinc22 snap! So useful to me to hear from someone else with PCOS. Thank you so much for this information. What’s the pink and purple you’re referring to, apologies? I’ve just done my second ever ovulation test (clear blue as a friend gave me some she didn’t need any more) and it’s showing a zero, which I am actually delighted by as it suggests my ‘peak’ may have actually been a peak and not a fake positive as I assumed. After my miscarriage I did ask the sonographer to have a good look at my ovaries and he said they looked normal which I am hoping is a good sign. May I ask, how did you find letrozole? Predictable ovulation (and periods) would be a miracle for me too 😂

Hope everyone had a lovely Christmas Day. Sending hugs and love to all. I suddenly remembered at about 4pm on Christmas Day that on an alternate timeline I'd have had a 2 month old there with us all and had a little cry. Poignant time of year for so many. However I think it's a positive sign of healing that it took so long for it to hit me! 💕

@HerbaceousPerennial hey! Being in the PCOS gang can be so frustrating but hopefully we’ll all get there in the end! 🎉 that’s good your ovaries looked good, mine always have so many follicles that they give up counting 🤦‍♀️

the pink and purple are the different types of clear blue digital ovulation tests. Pink is the basic type which just gives a blank or a smiley face (with smiley being peak fertility). Purple is the advanced, more expensive type, where it gives a flashing smiley for the days leading up to ovulation. I have found them semi reliable even with the PCOS (I think I have ovulated after the peak each time but sometimes quite a few days after) - though they tend to display a blank circle the first time you use them regardless so they need to be used a few in a row.

for me letrozole has been a wonder drug. Got pregnant (with the baby I miscarried) on the third cycle of it. Then, this time round, got pregnant on the first cycle of it, I’m now 7 weeks. So have got pregnant 50% of the cycles of it!! Didn’t have any side effects, it’s so simple, just take 2 pills once a day, nowhere near as invasive and difficult as other fertility treatments. How long have you been trying? X

@SnookyPook I’m glad your Christmas Day wasn’t overshadowed by your loss. It does tend to bring up a lot of emotions. Hope you are enjoying some leftovers too - just had a good turkey sandwich myself 😊

@graceinc22 that’s fantastic! Many congratulations, lovely to hear success stories. I’ve actually been pretty lucky - I conceived my son after about 6 months naturally and this last pregnancy was just a few weeks. I think being pregnant and breastfeeding is probably what has improved my ovaries - when diagnosed I had loads of follicles too. So I’m keen to try and maximise the cyst-free phase. I have the purple tests it turns out! Previously I was very relaxed about conceiving, but since my loss I feel I can’t wait like before and it’s been compounded by my long recovery time and my age, hence my interest in letrazole

@graceinc22 thanks so much! Great to hear of your successes and that you found something that helped 🥰

@SnookyPook deffo, great sign of healing and processing ❤️‍🩹

@GeorgeR28 I really hope it's good news with it being so out of the ordinary for you. What day is af due? Will you wait for it? I know what you mean about ups and downs with 50 emotions a day, today I feel hopeful but the day before, I was filled with the most horrible feelings of anxiety and I guess the right word is also dispair over everything feeling I would never get a bfp then if I did I would defo loose it again so maybe I didnt really truly want a bfp. It's crazy all the things you go through in your mind. But anyways, today is a positive thinking day and I hope it is for you too. x

I'm sorry you feel af is on the way @samilicious when is it due? x

@SnookyPook It is strange how things just pop up and trigger at random times isn't it. Hope all is good with you x

@Ladyinpink1 hey! AF is due in two days. I’m 11dpo, had the tiniest bit of spotting on and off yesterday but nothing else since, no other symptoms either so it is so strange. This is the first cycle I’ve waited and just not tested and I’m trying to stay strong and just wait it out! What about you?
the way you worded that is perfectly, I want a bfp so so badly but then everything that comes with that also terrifies me, it’ll be like replacing one anxiety with another. Thankyou so much, hope you had a lovely Christmas! x

@GeorgeR28 Well done for waiting, do you feel much better compared to cycles where you have tested early? Not long to wait now to find out!
I am 4dpo i'm going to try so hard not to test early.
I'm sorry my words are how you feel too, but at the same time, it's good to know it's normal that others feel the same. x

@Ladyinpink1 i actually do feel better but to be honest ive had a distraction of I’ve had the worst acne outbreak on my face ever and ive been consumed by it and trying to fix it! So it could be that the worry of that has been distracting me, but realising my AF is only two days away the one test I have at home is getting so tempting to do but trying to stay strong. It definitely brings me comfort that people feel the same because there’s been so many times I question myself thinking how do people just seem happy and get on with their lives, when behind closed doors it’s not the case & makes me feel a lot more normal for how I’ve been feeling x

Hi ladies, hope you all had a nice Christmas day. ❤I'm out this month unfortunately, AF decided to show up today which was earlier than expected - it wasn't as crushingly disappointing as last month as I hadn't got my hopes up this cycle, but still disappointing and I'm feeling quite low about TTC at the moment. I felt really sad at the end of Christmas Day, after all the family had gone to bed, just thinking about how nothing was how it was meant to be. We've booked to go away for a week in January, which I'm already really looking forward to. I'm also thinking that if it doesn't happen this cycle I might have a cycle in February without any proper tracking, just for a bit of a break.

Fingers crossed for some New Year BFPs soon!

Oh no about the spots, hoping no more new ones pop up @GeorgeR28 Yes exactly, it's good to feel normal x

@CluelessInLondon I'm really sorry AF has arrived. And sorry you have had a tough time over the holidays too, it's so hard the low feelings we get at times and on top of that I think this must be quite a triggering time of year but you definitely aren't alone.
Oh lovely, a week away sounds great especially in January which can be quite a dreary month. I'm with you on trying the relax if it doesn't happen soon, I was thinking about that . x

@Ladyinpink1 I know what you mean about wondering if you truly want a bfp with the heartache and worry that comes after it. I don't think I'll tell anyone until I've had my 20 week scan this time, even though I get more scans and tests from 8 weeks through fetal medicine because of my history. Also just kind of want to get pregnancy out of the way so I don't have to have these worries again. My friend was talking about how much she loved pregnancy the other day and I couldn't relate 😅 even though with my DD the pregnancy was straightforward, I was so worried because I'd lost before her too.

AF came today so treated myself to some CB purple ones on Amazon. They had a deal with some pregnancy tests in there and no doubt I'll be ordering more of them soon frantically testing

I thought "not trying" and not tracking this month would help me get pregnant as that's what has worked before but nope. Back to plan A

@CluelessInLondon trip away sounds lovely ♥️ and having a break for a month (sort of) has definitely helped my headspace in the long run. Put pressure on myself with age gaps with my DD who is 3 soon but forgetting all about that now and letting nature do its thing

Hi ladies, I hope you don't mind me joining. I miscarried my little boy at 16w 3d on 6th December this year. I've been reading your posts and this seems like such a lovely supportive group.
We are going to ttc again next year. I'm so worried it won't happen due to my age. I'm turning 39 in a few days. I suppose what will be will be and I'm going to try and stay positive. Each time AF arrives it will be a month closer to getting a BFP.
I'm currently waiting for af to arrive since my miscarriage, which will be anytime around my birthday 🤦‍♀️

Hi all - hope you managed to have a good break over Christmas.

@CluelessInLondon sorry to hear AF has arrived again. It's hard in those moments where you think what could have been and Christmas just heightens it all. Some time away I'm sure will be good for you and I really hope your time comes soon.

@UnderstatedElegance welcome and sorry for your loss. I hope you can get back to TTC soon. Is this for your first?

I had a pretty bad Christmas for different reasons but it took my mind off things. It's been a really rough year for us and I hope there's light at the end of the tunnel soon, just feels like one thing after another at the moment.

I'm due AF within the next 4-5 days so we shall see. My temperature has remained consistent but doesn't seem to be rising any higher and no implantation dip so I don't think it's looking likely this month.

@Ladyinpink1 @samilicious @13lucy Thank you for the support, this is such a lovely space to be able to vent about how things are feeling at the moment and it makes a massive difference. ❤ Trying to see the positive of AF showing up early, which is that I at least just crack on with the next cycle rather than waiting to see what happens. And my holiday next month will be in the second part of the TWW so at least it should help it to go quicker!

@samilicious Sorry to hear AF has arrived for you as well. I find the CB digital ovulation tests quite good to do alongside the cheap strips - I've generally been able to match up when I get my peak on the strips with when I get the static smiley on the CB test so it's like a double assurance that I'm at least timing things right (even if it hasn't worked yet!).

@UnderstatedElegance Welcome and I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, that must have been very traumatic at such a late stage. Good luck for starting the journey again.

@13lucy Sorry to hear that Christmas wasn't great for you - I hope 2024 brings better things. 💕

@CluelessInLondon a trip in January sounds lovely - what have you got planned?

@samilicious sorry AF arrived x

@UnderstatedElegance welcome! So sorry to hear about your loss, I hope you're doing as okay as you can be and Christmas wasn't too difficult.

@13lucy sorry Christmas wasn't great, I have everything crossed that 2024 will be your year x

@13lucy keeping my fingers crossed for you that you get your bfp in a few days.
It's not my first pregnancy. I have two older dc in their teen, this has been my 3rd miscarriage in a row, each getting progressively later. So far there appears to be no reason for it. I get my test results back on 24th January, so that might give more answers.

@ThelastRolo20 We are off to France for a week skiing - I figure if I'm not pregnant I have to take advantage of the things I can still do that I wouldn't be able to if I was, and skiing is definitely one of them! It's also nice because being in the mountains just feels like a total departure from normal life and I think I need that.

@UnderstatedElegance I'm sorry to hear that you've had multiple losses - I really hope the test results give you some more information and clarity.

@UnderstatedElegance that must be so tough for you. I've just had one miscarriage but it was my first pregnancy, so it's been tough in that regard. Good that you're getting tested and I hope you get some answers soon!

@ThelastRolo20 @CluelessInLondon thanks for your well wishes. I hope so too! I guess I'm not out until AF arrives so I'll keep my fingers crossed for now.

@UnderstatedElegance it's so hard with recurrent loss. I had my texts back and nothing has shown up as abnormal which is both good that they haven't found something that can't be fixed, but also frustrating because there's nothing they can just fix either!

@moosey89 I am really nervous about the test results. I can imagine how frustrating not knowing must be. I've started to read it starts with the egg. It seems very vitamin heavy. I'm currently taking a multivitamin for pregnancy and some CoQ 10. I'd not taken anything prior to my previous bfp. Hopefully they'll help with my aging eggs!!

I'm really sorry af arrived today @samilicious I hope you can have some nice drinks and lots of chocolate over these last few days of the holidays. Yes I agree, if I got a bfp again I wouldn't tell anyone just to be safe. Having lots of people to tell that things didn't go to plan after a loss makes it alot harder. x

I'm sorry for your loss @UnderstatedElegance I'm sure you are still feeling raw right now, I hope your period arrives soon so you can start a fresh new cycle of ttc. I'm also taking coq10 and seed cycling so hoping for healthy eggs 🥚 lol and this is ttc dc3 for me also x

@13lucy sorry you have had a tough time xx my temps weren't obviously different in my previous bfp cycle so you could still be in with a chance 🙂 x

Hey everyone, hope you all had as good a Christmas as you could.

@samilicious @CluelessInLondon I'm sorry AF arrived, it's always such a blow. I really relate to what both of you have said over the past few days.

@13lucy I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. I don't know how much stock to put in the temps in the luteal phase; I know FF says that there are plenty of successful cycles that don't have either of those things. I stopped tracking my temp in the luteal phase the month I got pregnant so I'm tempted to do the same going forward. I'll keep everything crossed for you.

When we started TTC in May I really believed that I would be pregnant by Christmas, even if it was still early, and that I'd be going into the new year preparing for our baby to join us. I can't quite believe I've been pregnant, lost them, and am back to trying again. Our extended family don't know about our loss, so I had a lot of "oh when will it be you guys" or even worse from the people who do know "oh you just need to have lots of sex, none of this tracking or temping nonsense".

I'm currently on CD12 of a non-tracking cycle. I've got my husband to hide the tests 😂. My watch still tracks my BBT and I've noticed some changes to my CM but that's all the tracking I'm doing this month. Like you @samilicious I'll give the digital OPKs another go next month if being chill doesn't work and maybe try SMEP.